Interest in divorcee?

helios · 24-10-2008 1:16pm #1

So, I'm not a lady, but I'm looking for a lady's opinion.

I'm 26, recently split from my wife (married young, I know). Was never really into dating so I'm horribly out of practice. Given my age, would being recently split affect your opinion of someone in terms of a relationshop, or would most people look past that sort of thing?

Looking for some general opinions/advice in this area...

barbiegirl · 24-10-2008 1:20pm

So long as it's over, it's over. Of course as a new relationship developed I'd want to know why the old one split and what you learnt from it so as not to repeat the mistake.
Other than that, everyone has a past and history, your first marriage is yours :-) Good luck and much happiness

Whispered · 24-10-2008 1:21pm

It would make me wonder if you fall in and out of love very easily. (being married and divorced so young). But besides that, it wouldn't make a blind bit of difference.

helios · 24-10-2008 1:26pm

helena.ryan wrote: »

It would make me wonder if you fall in and out of love very easily. (being married and divorced so young). But besides that, it wouldn't make a blind bit of difference.

Not to point fingers, but the idea to split wasn't my idea, so it's not a matter of fear of committment or being indescisive, nor was it an infedelity issue either...

Curvy Vixen · 24-10-2008 2:55pm

Everyone has a history so no it wouldn't bother me at all tbh.

And I am a bit weird in that I would rather that you wouldn't slate your ex off to me. It's so unattractive when someone does that. (Not saying you would btw

)

Whispered · 24-10-2008 3:29pm

helios wrote: »

Not to point fingers, but the idea to split wasn't my idea, so it's not a matter of fear of committment or being indescisive, nor was it an infedelity issue either...

Oh I'm sorry if you thought that is what I meant. Thats not it at all.

helios · 24-10-2008 3:43pm

helena.ryan wrote: »

Oh I'm sorry if you thought that is what I meant. Thats not it at all.

No, not at all, just illustration that I don't fall in and out of love easily, hence, it was her idea

Millie · 24-10-2008 3:47pm

Once there weren't any ties between the couple.
Everyone has a past, it's the future that counts

metaoblivia · 24-10-2008 4:08pm

OP, I think many people would look past that sort of thing. My brother was first divorced in his early 20s and then divorced a second time in his later 20s (he's 29 now). He has had no problem finding women to date and see casually (he doesn't feel he's ready for another long term relationship since the second divorce). He doesn't share with them his life story on the first date. He tells them he's a divorcee and has kids, but doesn't go into details right then.
I wouldn't worry about it if I were you.

Pigletlover · 24-10-2008 4:38pm

Curvy Vixen wrote: »

Everyone has a history so no it wouldn't bother me at all tbh.

And I am a bit weird in that I would rather that you wouldn't slate your ex off to me. It's so unattractive when someone does that. (Not saying you would btw )

^ So true^

I wouldn't be bothered about the fact that you're 26 and divorced, just as long as I felt you were over your ex and you weren't on the rebound.

Vegeta · 24-10-2008 4:43pm

metaoblivia wrote: »

OP, I think many people would look past that sort of thing. My brother was first divorced in his early 20s and then divorced a second time in his later 20s (he's 29 now). He has had no problem finding women to date and see casually (he doesn't feel he's ready for another long term relationship since the second divorce). He doesn't share with them his life story on the first date. He tells them he's a divorcee and has kids, but doesn't go into details right then.
I wouldn't worry about it if I were you.

Is your name Monica and your brother's name Ross by any chance

yes a bad joke

OP I am not a lady but I don't think many women would let it bother them too much. Guy in work in similar situation and he has had plenty of girlfriends since

Good luck and I hope everything works out for you

metrovelvet · 25-10-2008 3:39am

Doesnt divorce require a four year split?

Are you divorced or you just split up?

If recent, a woman might be concerned of two things: that she is the transitional/rebound woman and that you are not available to remarry until your divorce is finalised.

Curlypinkie · 25-10-2008 9:08am

Wouldn't bother me for a second.

If you'd been married for 4 years or split up from a 5 year relationship what does it matter? It's the same thing?
Two people being together and then deciding they don't want to be anymore. That's what it is in fairness.

Wibbs · 25-10-2008 12:18pm

metrovelvet wrote: »

If recent, a woman might be concerned of two things: that she is the transitional/rebound woman and that you are not available to remarry until your divorce is finalised.

That would be my issue too. I'd say much the same for anyone just out of a long termer. In most cases the first one is a transitional/rebound thing. Now they can work for a while, get to the year mark, or god forbid marriage, but really long term? No.

MJOR · 25-10-2008 9:54pm

I think that once you have given yourself an adaquate time to lick your wounds and make sure that you're ready to move forward then i wouldn't have a problem. My brother was divorced in his late twenties and is in his late thirties nowmarried with a baby on the way...So i think once she gets the vibe that you're ready to move on there won't be a problem

metaoblivia · 25-10-2008 11:42pm

Vegeta wrote: »

Is your name Monica and your brother's name Ross by any chance

We tease him about this, because one of his ex wives did leave him for a lesbian once! :eek: But she came back after a few months.

Madame Razz · 26-10-2008 11:14am

Time for my favourite quote::D

'Experience is the name everybody gives to their mistakes'

I think Wilde nailed this tbh.

Nobodies perfect, everybody has a past, and I think the majority of people are willing to accept this.

OP, by all means be honest about your previous marriage, but don't dwell on it too much. I dated a man who was divorced before, and it never bothered me; to be honest it was never an issue. I knew that he had moved on from that part of his life and wanted to be with me.

I think people can tell when a person is committed to starting afresh, I think a lot of people would commend and admire a persons courage in doing so.

Don't let your past stand in the way of your future OP. I hope all goes well for you.

Best of luck!

MH

Interest in divorcee?

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