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I have no willy

  • 13-11-2016 1:14am
    #1
    Edups
    Closed Accounts Posts: 678 ✭✭✭


    Advice appreciated thanks


«1

Comments

  • #2
    Sweetemotion
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,512 ✭✭✭Sweetemotion


    Edups wrote: »
    Advice appreciated thanks


    Get one.


  • #3
    muddypaws
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,610 ✭✭✭muddypaws


    Me either. Its quite normal for a woman don't worry about it


  • #4
    Charlie19
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,787 ✭✭✭✭Charlie19


    Take up heroin.


  • #5
    Hande hoche!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,795 ✭✭✭Hande hoche!


    Strap on?


  • #6
    maudgonner
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭maudgonner


    Become a Country & Irish singer. Wear jumpers.


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  • #7
    Edups
    Closed Accounts Posts: 678 ✭✭✭Edups


    maudgonner wrote: »
    Become a Country & Irish singer. Wear jumpers.

    I'm not wearing a cake jumper. This is disgusting. I want to go home.


  • #8
    Armchair Andy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,847 ✭✭✭Armchair Andy


    Edups wrote:
    Advice appreciated thanks


    Don't get your fist stuck.


  • #9
    jacksie66
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,988 ✭✭✭jacksie66


    This post has been deleted.


  • #10
    Ronin247
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,256 ✭✭✭Ronin247


    There is an operation you can get, it is called strapadichtome


  • #11
    Tuco88
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,053 ✭✭✭Tuco88


    Your a woman?


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  • #12
    Edups
    Closed Accounts Posts: 678 ✭✭✭Edups


    Tuco88 wrote: »
    Your a woman?

    No it would be easier to explain then

    "You've no willy???"

    "I'm a woman"


  • #13
    Senna
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,800 ✭✭✭Senna


    Are you sure, did you double check?

    I thought I have no butter this evening, but I double checked and what do you know, it was there all the time, just behind the cheese.


  • #14
    the whole year inn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,113 ✭✭✭the whole year inn


    Go fcuk your self is redundant !


  • #15
    RobertKK
    Registered Users Posts: 33,754 ✭✭✭✭RobertKK


    It is not life threatening, you will be ok.


  • #16
    Edups
    Closed Accounts Posts: 678 ✭✭✭Edups


    Senna wrote: »
    Are you sure, did you double check?

    I thought I have no butter this evening, but I double checked and what do you know, it was there all the time, just behind the cheese.

    Yeah I checked a few times... defiantly nothing there... I do have butter though so all is not lost


  • #17
    Hande hoche!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,795 ✭✭✭Hande hoche!


    Is it a case of penis envy?


  • #18
    Cortina_MK_IV
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,350 ✭✭✭Cortina_MK_IV


    Jesse freed him.


  • #19
    Patser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,093 ✭✭✭Patser


    Tuco88 wrote: »
    Your a woman?

    Precisely dear Lady! You are if the female of the species and neither desiring of, or requiring of, said appendage?

    If you are desiring of one, head to the named establishment of Coppers and loudly declare! 'I'm locked!! ' Hencewith Peniii aplenty will be offered


  • #20
    flazio
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,257 ✭✭✭✭flazio


    Ask Kate Middleton if you can borrow hers.


  • #21
    Stigura
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,540 ✭✭✭Stigura


    Senna wrote: »
    I thought I have no butter this evening, but I double checked and what do you know, it was there all the time, just behind the cheese.

    I have a video of a Japanese girl finding the cheese behind ..... No. Let's not go there .....


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  • #22
    Edups
    Closed Accounts Posts: 678 ✭✭✭Edups


    Please I am not a woman this is not a joke I have lived my life with nary a willy and I would like advice to rectify this as it is nothing less than mortifying being unable to consummate my marriage.


  • #23
    Pinch Flat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,767 ✭✭✭Pinch Flat


    Edups wrote: »
    Please I am not a woman this is not a joke I have lived my life with nary a willy and I would like advice to rectify this as it is nothing less than mortifying being unable to consummate my marriage.

    It's okay OP you've come to the right forum for some considered and mature advice.

    you can borrow mine if you like.


  • #24
    jamesbere
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,022 ✭✭✭jamesbere


    Strap on is the best option, or maybe a cucumber.


  • #25
    Edups
    Closed Accounts Posts: 678 ✭✭✭Edups


    jamesbere wrote: »
    Strap on is the best option, or maybe a cucumber.

    Yes I tried that but we got an awful infestation of rabbits and a desperate infiltration of a ReviewTechUsa. Terrible.


  • #26
    Armchair Andy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,847 ✭✭✭Armchair Andy


    Edups wrote:
    Please I am not a woman this is not a joke I have lived my life with nary a willy and I would like advice to rectify this as it is nothing less than mortifying being unable to consummate my marriage.


    Pam won't be any more disappointed in you than normal.

    Swap hands now and again keep her keen.


  • #27
    Randle P. McMurphy
    Registered Users Posts: 157 ✭✭Randle P. McMurphy


    Willies are overated. Just grab her by the pussy. I hear it's all the rage among the top people these days.


  • #28
    jamesbere
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,022 ✭✭✭jamesbere


    Edups wrote: »
    Yes I tried that but we got an awful infestation of rabbits and a desperate infiltration of a ReviewTechUsa. Terrible.

    Ah those rabbits are desperate, I hear you can get a cream to get rid of them.


  • #29
    MeatTwoVeg
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 861 ✭✭✭MeatTwoVeg


    I'll share mine with you.





    Unless you're a bloke.


  • #30
    Edups
    Closed Accounts Posts: 678 ✭✭✭Edups


    jamesbere wrote: »
    Ah those rabbits are desperate, I hear you can get a cream to get rid of them.

    I believe you're thinking of crabs


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  • #31
    indioblack
    Registered Users Posts: 1,943 ✭✭✭indioblack


    Randle P. McMurphy wrote: »
    Willies are overated. Just grab her by the pussy. I hear it's all the rage among the top people these days.

    Apparently it trumps everything.


  • #32
    Olishi4
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,469 ✭✭✭Olishi4


    Its funny because im a woman and have often been told i have "some balls" :pac:


  • #33
    Edups
    Closed Accounts Posts: 678 ✭✭✭Edups


    Olishi4 wrote: »
    Its funny because im a woman and have often been told i have "some balls" :pac:

    Rub it in.


  • #34
    Patser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,093 ✭✭✭Patser


    Edups wrote: »
    Please I am not a woman this is not a joke I have lived my life with nary a willy and I would like advice to rectify this as it is nothing less than mortifying being unable to consummate my marriage.

    I fear for you Sire, that in these modern ages, having now even managed to convince a lady to marry you; that any solution we fan offer ie; digital substitution: will lead to no satisfactory solution. Either your good Lady Wife will enquire as to why she is unable to conceive ; or your good self will grow increasingly frustrated at said predicament.

    May I be so bold as to suggest in modern parlance that you simply grow a pair...


  • #35
    Edups
    Closed Accounts Posts: 678 ✭✭✭Edups


    MeatTwoVeg wrote: »
    I'll share mine with you.





    Unless you're a bloke.

    As already explained I am not a woman sir


  • #36
    Gmaximum
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 380 ✭✭Gmaximum


    Stick a finger up your bum if you don't find a prostate you shouldn't have one in the first place


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  • #37
    Edups
    Closed Accounts Posts: 678 ✭✭✭Edups


    Patser wrote: »

    May I be so bold as to suggest in modern parlance that you simply grow a pair...

    DON'T YOU THINK I'VE BEEN TRYING


  • #38
    KwackerJack
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,126 ✭✭✭KwackerJack


    Was it always gone.....buy an Alfa Romeo to make up for it!

    Did it just disappear? Did you just buy an Alfa Romeo?


  • #39
    Edups
    Closed Accounts Posts: 678 ✭✭✭Edups


    Gmaximum wrote: »
    Stick a finger up your bum if you don't find a prostate you shouldn't have one in the first place

    Doctor did that once and found George Takei funny story


  • #40
    Senna
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,800 ✭✭✭Senna


    I'm finished with mine you can borrow it, it's a Mens Size 5, slim fit


  • #41
    Patser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,093 ✭✭✭Patser


    Edups wrote: »
    DON'T YOU THINK I'VE BEEN TRYING

    A warm bath, or facing down a foe in a dangerous situation should suffice Sire.

    Either that or puberty! Since I understand that within certain cultures in Ireland that puberty is not required for marriage, I suggest patience. Patience or a violent stand down with a Napoleonic man of War should provide circumstance for required droopage


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  • #42
    maudgonner
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭maudgonner


    Edups wrote: »
    DON'T YOU THINK I'VE BEEN TRYING

    Why are you trying to grow a pair of willies? Concentrate on just growing one.


  • #43
    blinding
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 7,466 ✭✭✭blinding


    Do you have a dick , cock , pecker , john-thomas and spherical objects in a sack hanging down from the above .


  • #44
    bazz26
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 51,297 ✭✭✭✭bazz26


    Maybe it's just hiding behind a pubic hair?


  • #45
    hullaballoo
    Administrators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 18,750 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭hullaballoo


    How did that gobshite get on the telly?


  • #46
    paralysed
    Site Banned Posts: 391 ✭✭paralysed


    If I posted this thread, I'd be banned. So unfair


  • #47
    Alias G
    Registered Users Posts: 792 ✭✭✭Alias G


    You're a ****ing ****


  • #48
    Patser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,093 ✭✭✭Patser


    Alias G wrote: »
    You're a ****ing ****

    Apparently not, as to the best of our knowledge he possesses neither the tools or the knowledge of the alternatives to him/her self.


  • #49
    Edups
    Closed Accounts Posts: 678 ✭✭✭Edups


    paralysed wrote: »
    If I posted this thread, I'd be banned. So unfair

    Lel


  • #50
    Away From Home
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 45 ✭Away From Home


    Hold your nose and mouth, put a finger up your ass and blow really hard.


  • #51
    Fleawuss
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,681 ✭✭✭Fleawuss


    Willy-less.


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