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Ruined christmases?

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    #32
    cloud493
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    Of course *hands over handfuls of sweeties*





    Oh, and my mum died. But that wasn't at christmas, and the young un still had a good christmas, so I guess it doesn't technically count.


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    #33
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users Posts: 27,564 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    cloud493 wrote: »
    Has anyone else ever had weird christmas ruining moments? The ones that stick with you.

    When I was younger, when my parents were divorcing. On the 23rd, my mum kicked my dad out of the house. Then on the 25th, she was working a late (2PM - 11PM) So it was myself, and my siblings in the house (2 brothers, 3 sisters) when my dad kicked the front door in, he was really drunk, and basically forced us all to climb into his car, drive an hour to his mothers grave, he smashed a bottle on it, then grabbed my sister by her wrist, dragged her into the car, and drove away., We had to walk home in the cold, call the police and my mum, they found him, and... that was a pretty rubbish christmas.

    Makes you appreciate the good christmases :)


    Well done for being so candid about it. I had to defend my mother and little sisters from a drunk father. I did though. :o


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    #34
    Cork Lass
    Registered Users Posts: 6,813 ✭✭✭Cork Lass


    cloud493 wrote: »
    Of course *hands over handfuls of sweeties*





    Oh, and my mum died. But that wasn't at christmas, and the young un still had a good christmas, so I guess it doesn't technically count.

    Thanks for the sweets. Sorry about your mum, I'm glad you had a good Christmas.


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    #35
    Frigga_92
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,809 ✭✭✭Frigga_92


    I grew up with an alcoholic father and my parents fought pretty much non-stop for my entire childhood but it was always worse at Christmas. They used to wreck the place, pull down the decorations (that's if any were put up in the first place), break presents throwing them around the place etc etc, I won't go into too much detail.
    Basically from age 0-18, until I moved out, Christmases were pretty horrible.
    One Christmas that sticks out in my head was when I was 3 or 4. If my father thought he was in big trouble with my mother he'd use one of us as a barrier, thinking she'd go easier on him if we were there, never worked. This particular night they were raging away at each other and I came downstairs and my father grabbed me and put me sitting on his lap. I was roaring crying of course. My mother threw an ashtray at him and it hit me in the face. It was an old fashioned really heavy glass ashtray like this - http://thumbs2.ebaystatic.com/d/l225/m/mcFEb8y0sW7LpSMIHsb-CdA.jpg
    I still have a noticeable scar between my lip and my nose and my nose is slightly crooked.

    I never ever visit my parents at Christmastime. There's a few different reasons for that. They don't understand of course and just think I'm being awkward, there's never been any acknowledgment of how unacceptable their carry on was. I'm 27 now and I still find Christmas hard sometimes just thinking about all my childhood Christmases.
    I go all out at Christmas now and my husband makes sure it's amazing because he knows why I need it to be like that now. I have Christmas traditions that probably seem childish and stupid to some people but it's just the way it has to be now. I felt like there were years where we didn't even celebrate Christmas when I was younger, we may have had decorations up and eaten a Christmas dinner but you were just on edge and couldn't enjoy any of it properly so it just went by unnoticed.


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    #36
    Venus In Furs
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,028 ✭✭✭Venus In Furs


    It's heartbreaking how sh-t Christmas/life was for some of you when ye were little kids. I hope life is infinitely better now.


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    #37
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users Posts: 27,564 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    26sdrawkcab wrote: »
    I grew up with an alcoholic father and my parents fought pretty much non-stop for my entire childhood but it was always worse at Christmas. They used to wreck the place, pull down the decorations (that's if any were put up in the first place), break presents throwing them around the place etc etc, I won't go into too much detail.
    Basically from age 0-18, until I moved out, Christmases were pretty horrible.
    One Christmas that sticks out in my head was when I was 3 or 4. If my father thought he was in big trouble with my mother he'd use one of us as a barrier, thinking she'd go easier on him if we were there, never worked. This particular night they were raging away at each other and I came downstairs and my father grabbed me and put me sitting on his lap. I was roaring crying of course. My mother threw an ashtray at him and it hit me in the face. It was an old fashioned really heavy glass ashtray like this - http://thumbs2.ebaystatic.com/d/l225/m/mcFEb8y0sW7LpSMIHsb-CdA.jpg
    I still have a noticeable scar between my lip and my nose and my nose is slightly crooked.

    I never ever visit my parents at Christmastime. There's a few different reasons for that. They don't understand of course and just think I'm being awkward, there's never been any acknowledgment of how unacceptable their carry on was. I'm 27 now and I still find Christmas hard sometimes just thinking about all my childhood Christmases.
    I go all out at Christmas now and my husband makes sure it's amazing because he knows why I need it to be like that now. I have Christmas traditions that probably seem childish and stupid to some people but it's just the way it has to be now. I felt like there were years where we didn't even celebrate Christmas when I was younger, we may have had decorations up and eaten a Christmas dinner but you were just on edge and couldn't enjoy any of it properly so it just went by unnoticed.


    Yep me too man. The world and its dog knows you were in the right though.


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    #38
    blacklilly
    Registered Users Posts: 2,687 ✭✭✭blacklilly


    The Christmases of '91-'99, I never got the pony I asked for. Then my dad obviously annoyed and frustrated at santa for ignoring my simple request bought me one in 2000:D


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    #39
    MagicMarker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    blacklilly wrote: »
    The Christmases of '91-'99, I never got the pony I asked for. Then my dad obviously annoyed and frustrated at santa for ignoring my simple request bought me one in 2000:D
    Does he work for KPMG?


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    #40
    blacklilly
    Registered Users Posts: 2,687 ✭✭✭blacklilly


    MagicMarker wrote: »
    Does he work for KPMG?

    Ya like totes babes. He bought me manolo blahniks this year:rolleyes:


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    #41
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users Posts: 27,564 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    We're all better people for it right?


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    #42
    flas
    Registered Users Posts: 1,270 ✭✭✭flas


    This one,I have been sick all week,all over the place,I have to go back to work tomorrow and I am genuinely worried Il collapse or something in there but I can't ring in sick because I have been off all week even if it was just dying all week!didn't get to go out with friends or relatives or anything like that,**** I hate being sick at Christmas!


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    #43
    Highflyer13
    Closed Accounts Posts: 954 ✭✭✭Highflyer13


    26sdrawkcab wrote: »
    I grew up with an alcoholic father and my parents fought pretty much non-stop for my entire childhood but it was always worse at Christmas. They used to wreck the place, pull down the decorations (that's if any were put up in the first place), break presents throwing them around the place etc etc, I won't go into too much detail.
    Basically from age 0-18, until I moved out, Christmases were pretty horrible.
    One Christmas that sticks out in my head was when I was 3 or 4. If my father thought he was in big trouble with my mother he'd use one of us as a barrier, thinking she'd go easier on him if we were there, never worked. This particular night they were raging away at each other and I came downstairs and my father grabbed me and put me sitting on his lap. I was roaring crying of course. My mother threw an ashtray at him and it hit me in the face. It was an old fashioned really heavy glass ashtray like this - http://thumbs2.ebaystatic.com/d/l225/m/mcFEb8y0sW7LpSMIHsb-CdA.jpg
    I still have a noticeable scar between my lip and my nose and my nose is slightly crooked.

    I never ever visit my parents at Christmastime. There's a few different reasons for that. They don't understand of course and just think I'm being awkward, there's never been any acknowledgment of how unacceptable their carry on was. I'm 27 now and I still find Christmas hard sometimes just thinking about all my childhood Christmases.
    I go all out at Christmas now and my husband makes sure it's amazing because he knows why I need it to be like that now. I have Christmas traditions that probably seem childish and stupid to some people but it's just the way it has to be now. I felt like there were years where we didn't even celebrate Christmas when I was younger, we may have had decorations up and eaten a Christmas dinner but you were just on edge and couldn't enjoy any of it properly so it just went by unnoticed.

    That actually broke my heart reading it. No child deserves that on what should be some of the best memories of their lives. I hate alcohol, its a curse on this country. I remember the fear I had when I was a child seeing my parents drunk. I felt no security at the time. I would cry myself to sleep at times. Though they would never hurt us, it still frightented me to see them fighting and threatening each other or falling all over the house.

    Funny thing is they still act like that and im 27 now. I've just learned to block it out completely and my relationship really is poor with them. I have tried to make them see sense and failed but thats their fault. They dont see a problem with heavy drinking. Sad really.

    One thing I will never do is take a drink around my children.


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    #44
    EoghanIRL
    Registered Users Posts: 4,080 ✭✭✭EoghanIRL


    After reading some of these posts it just reminds me how alcohol can bring out the worst in people .

    I don't see why excessive alcohol use is more acceptable than other forms of drugs . Sad really.


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    #45
    lulu1
    Registered Users Posts: 1,815 ✭✭✭lulu1


    Highflyer13 wrote: »
    That actually broke my heart reading it. No child deserves that on what should be some of the best memories of their lives. I hate alcohol, its a curse on this country. I remember the fear I had when I was a child seeing my parents drunk. I felt no security at the time. I would cry myself to sleep at times. Though they would never hurt us, it still frightented me to see them fighting and threatening each other or falling all over the house.

    Funny thing is they still act like that and im 27 now. I've just learned to block it out completely and my relationship really is poor with them. I have tried to make them see sense and failed but thats their fault. They dont see a problem with heavy drinking. Sad really.

    One thing I will never do is take a drink around my children.

    Would you never tell them now how you felt when you were younger if they are still at the same carryon


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    #46
    Highflyer13
    Closed Accounts Posts: 954 ✭✭✭Highflyer13


    lulu1 wrote: »
    Would you never tell them now how you felt when you were younger if they are still at the same carryon

    Yep I have lots of times. Now I am relatively strong emotionally. I play lots of sports, hugely driven etc and work in an pressurised environment which demands mental strength. One night I cracked and rang my godmother who im close to and completely broke down. Id exhausted all options at this point. I was inconsolable on the phone. Some people just cannot be fixed in my conclusion. They have repeatedly failed to acknowledge a drinking problem. We have had interventions and everything.

    Drinking heavily is normal and the only way to enjoy yourself in their opinion which frankly I find pathetic and sad. I drank heavily in my teens too but copped myself on and realised It wasn't normal.


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    #47
    TheBeardedLady
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,086 ✭✭✭TheBeardedLady


    cloud493 wrote: »
    Has anyone else ever had weird christmas ruining moments? The ones that stick with you.

    When I was younger, when my parents were divorcing. On the 23rd, my mum kicked my dad out of the house. Then on the 25th, she was working a late (2PM - 11PM) So it was myself, and my siblings in the house (2 brothers, 3 sisters) when my dad kicked the front door in, he was really drunk, and basically forced us all to climb into his car, drive an hour to his mothers grave, he smashed a bottle on it, then grabbed my sister by her wrist, dragged her into the car, and drove away., We had to walk home in the cold, call the police and my mum, they found him, and... that was a pretty rubbish christmas.

    Makes you appreciate the good christmases :)

    ****sake! Giz a hug! (((())))) How sad. Mad auld world. I'm full of the soundbites and cliches with a few drinks in me, so excuse me please. What I really want to ask you, though, is if you'd consider seeing a counsellor for a few sessions? Sounds like you haven't dealt with this at all. Big hug, matey. Look after yourself and happy new year to you.


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    #48
    humberklog
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 10,423 Mod ✭✭✭✭humberklog


    steddyeddy wrote: »
    Yep me too man. The world and its dog knows you were in the right though.

    It was written by a woman. Did you read it man?


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    #49
    Xenji
    Registered Users Posts: 11,505 ✭✭✭✭Xenji


    Ran out of drink one year and ended up having to drink Pimms of all things, really put a damper on the day and ruined my stomach as well!


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    #50
    Aeternum
    Registered Users Posts: 471 ✭✭Aeternum


    This Christmas was awful and I blame drink completely - the drinking culture in this country is an absolute joke. Woke up on Christmas morning and my step-dad was absolutely hammered - had stayed up drinking all night and hadn't slept a wink. He had put our dog out the front and left him out there all night. Was supposed to be collecting my sister from work (she had to work the night shift) but was in too much of a state to drive. I drove out but only started driving recently and still on provisional. Collected her from work at 10, she had finished at eight and was waiting for someone to show up.

    Had to send stepdad to bed and he started giving out to me and mam, saying he didn't need sleep. Honestly started crying cos the state he was in was ruining Christmas before it had barely started.

    Finally got on with the day until got a call from my BF, asking me to collect him. His car wouldn't start and then his father went crazy at it because the NCT is out on the car and he's gonna get arrested, started saying he was a waste of space and crap. Went and got him and he was so upset.

    Drink ruins everything.


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    #51
    FloatingVoter
    Registered Users Posts: 6,133 ✭✭✭FloatingVoter


    I was 16. Showed up passed out drunk on the doorstep covered in blood.


    The blood wasn't mine. As my mother put the pieces of my drunken memory together it turns out I'd glassed some idiot in the local pub. Spent hours on Christmas Day waiting for the police to arrive. That's a quiet house.

    It turns out the bones in your head are very strong and the other guy wound up home in a similar drunken state. We shook hands and to my knowledge neither of us has gone near a black russian since.

    Hello, Newcastle West.


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    #52
    braddun
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,221 ✭✭✭braddun


    I found out my dad was the priest at Christmas mass


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    #53
    cloud493
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    TheBeardedLady wrote: »
    ****sake! Giz a hug! (((())))) How sad. Mad auld world. I'm full of the soundbites and cliches with a few drinks in me, so excuse me please. What I really want to ask you, though, is if you'd consider seeing a counsellor for a few sessions? Sounds like you haven't dealt with this at all. Big hug, matey. Look after yourself and happy new year to you.

    Nah I'm ok, thanks though :)

    Drink is the worst, thats not even the worst thing by a long shot I can remember my dad doing. But whatever, no point of dwelling etc.


    Oh, another christmas. We went to my nans house (my dads mother) and she had presents for us. She was a fairly capable woman, even though she was getting on a bit, but she'd given us like, pieces of meat wrapped up in paper, like unheated heat, turkey. And she didn't give my mum anything, and my mum just exploded. Then my dad exploded back at her for shouting at his mother, and he gave her a right wallop, and the whole thing turned into chaos till the police were called.


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    #54
    lukesmom
    Registered Users Posts: 4,400 ✭✭✭lukesmom


    Christmas has not been the same since my little brother died tragically but it's getting a bit easier each year which is great. I've no awful christmas memories and the worst thing I can think of is when the electricity cut out Christmas day. That was a pain.


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    #55
    blacklilly
    Registered Users Posts: 2,687 ✭✭✭blacklilly


    Highflyer13 wrote: »
    Yep I have lots of times. Now I am relatively strong emotionally. I play lots of sports, hugely driven etc and work in an pressurised environment which demands mental strength. One night I cracked and rang my godmother who im close to and completely broke down. Id exhausted all options at this point. I was inconsolable on the phone. Some people just cannot be fixed in my conclusion. They have repeatedly failed to acknowledge a drinking problem. We have had interventions and everything.

    Drinking heavily is normal and the only way to enjoy yourself in their opinion which frankly I find pathetic and sad. I drank heavily in my teens too but copped myself on and realised It wasn't normal.

    So sorry to read to read our story. Thankfully I've never been directly effected by alcoholism or the like but I know many that have. I'm not sure if you've ever heard of al-anon but its a program adapted from aa and I know many that have benefited from it. http://www.al-anon-ireland.org/


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    #56
    suicide_circus
    Registered Users Posts: 19,802 ✭✭✭✭suicide_circus


    Went into a boozer on thomas street yesterday for one, there was a kid of a bout 7 half asleep on a chair surrounded by parents/uncles all hammered. Didn't really feel like a pint after that so I left. Feel so grateful that my folks didn't do that to me.


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    #57
    Frigga_92
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,809 ✭✭✭Frigga_92


    Highflyer13 wrote: »
    That actually broke my heart reading it. No child deserves that on what should be some of the best memories of their lives. I hate alcohol, its a curse on this country. I remember the fear I had when I was a child seeing my parents drunk. I felt no security at the time. I would cry myself to sleep at times. Though they would never hurt us, it still frightented me to see them fighting and threatening each other or falling all over the house.

    Funny thing is they still act like that and im 27 now. I've just learned to block it out completely and my relationship really is poor with them. I have tried to make them see sense and failed but thats their fault. They dont see a problem with heavy drinking. Sad really.

    One thing I will never do is take a drink around my children.

    Same here. We used to sit at the top of the stairs listening to them screaming about all kinds of things and trying to decide who we'd live with if they separated or if they killed each other, trying to make sense of what they were screaming which was stupid because it made no sense.

    Sorry you went through that.

    They live on their own now, we've all moved out. My father still drinks, not as bad as when we were younger but every now and then he just goes bananas on the drink for a few weeks. I don't know what goes on now, I don't ask. I don't spend a lot of time with them, very little in fact. I absolutely hate being in their house for lots of reasons and they don't understand.


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    #58
    Rosy Posy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,666 ✭✭✭Rosy Posy


    One year my granny cut off the tip of her little finger with the electric carving knife while carving the turkey. My teetotal cousin and I (still a child) were the only sober ones so we ended up driving her to the hospital, me with the bit of finger in a bag of ice. The local hospital was closed so we had to drive to the regional one and it took ages.

    Last year my friends stepdad got stocious drunk on Christmas Eve and was disorientated in the night and pissed all over the presents under the tree!


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    #59
    SEPT 23 1989
    Registered Users Posts: 43,025 ✭✭✭✭SEPT 23 1989


    suicide_circus wrote: »
    Went into a boozer on thomas street yesterday for one, there was a kid of a bout 7 half asleep on a chair surrounded by parents/uncles all hammered. Didn't really feel like a pint after that so I left. Feel so grateful that my folks didn't do that to me.

    Kid was a lightweight


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    #60
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    The first one after being asked to leave home. Won't get into it here but it was horrible. I had good people around me who made me feel very welcome but not being with your own family is hard.


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    #61
    nc19
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,395 ✭✭✭nc19


    HamsterFace wrote: »
    I found out that the man who I thought was my father really isn't.

    My real father is actually a very well known musician but he has never recognized me.


    My money's on Daniel O'Donnell


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