Aul wuns at the Checkout Till

Pauliedragon · 27-08-2019 5:10pm

beejee wrote: »

They are numbered, to infinity.

I'll still be counting pennies to annoy you, your head will still be popped, and you'll still miss your pubic de-licing appointment because of it.

I always use cash and have no problem at tills but it's a fact than in the near future it will be obsolete. So you won't be annoying me. Maybe annoy an anger management professional.

beejee · 27-08-2019 5:17pm

Pauliedragon wrote: »

I always use cash and have no problem at tills but it's a fact than in the near future it will be obsolete. So you won't be annoying me. Maybe annoy an anger management professional.

Ah but you've made the most elementary of mistakes, forgetting that my bulging old man musclature will take up the entire width of any shop, thereby blocking you from escaping.

Should you attempt to sneak beneath my armpit I shall simply flex my nipple muscles and crush you like a grape. Depending on my generosity of the day I may not vaporise your pubic lice, allowing you the dignity of leaving something turn up to your closed casket funeral.

Irish Guitarist · 27-08-2019 5:44pm

What I find more annoying is men usually aged around 35 to 45 that act confused when they're told that they have to pay for a plastic bag. Have they just woken up from a twenty year coma or something?

Ashleigh1986 · 27-08-2019 5:53pm

Of course it's mostly women .
They're never ready .
Same at set of traffic lights .... Lights change to green/ get your head out of the phone .
Of course she won't have to stop ... It's us 5 cars back that have to stop .

27-08-2019 6:24pm

Irish Guitarist wrote: »

What I find more annoying is men usually aged around 35 to 45 that act confused when they're told that they have to pay for a plastic bag. Have they just woken up from a twenty year coma or something?

worked in retail for a decade and it amazes me why people still get b!tchy over paying for a bag, its nearly 20 years ffs...

27-08-2019 6:27pm

Gerry G wrote: »

Raconteuse wrote: »

Doesn't happen in Aldi.

It happens a lot in Centra though, and it's women and men equally. Of any age.

I have noticed this about Aldi, it's because most of the Checkout merchants are forners and have no interest in the aul wuns ****e hawking

They need to scan 1,000 items an hour in Aldi. That's the target.

BuboBubo · 27-08-2019 6:39pm

I don't mind the aul ones, I'm practically one myself

The worst ones are the deaf and blind parent brigade with their ill mannered spawn bawling for chocolate etc.

I'd happily queue behind 27 oul ones to avoid that lot, with their little crotch goblins climbing onto the packing shelf and their parents with the solicitor on speed dial.

Assetbacked · 27-08-2019 7:03pm

beejee wrote: »

Ah but you've made the most elementary of mistakes, forgetting that my bulging old man musclature will take up the entire width of any shop, thereby blocking you from escaping.

Should you attempt to sneak beneath my armpit I shall simply flex my nipple muscles and crush you like a grape. Depending on my generosity of the day I may not vaporise your pubic lice, allowing you the dignity of leaving something turn up to your closed casket funeral.

Shopping will be done online or, alternatively, by scanning as we go and then automatically having payment taken when we walk out of the shop. Another way you won't be able to annoy the rest of us.

Heroditas · 27-08-2019 7:09pm

odyssey06 wrote: »

There should be a dedicated aul wuns checkout in larger supermarkets staffed by an almost aulwan nearing retirement. They can natter away to each other and to the other aul wans in the queue, catching up on the local funerals and weather. Will do wonder for the community.

Isn't that called M&S?

odyssey06 · 27-08-2019 7:10pm

Heroditas wrote: »

Isn't that called M&S?

Maybe during the day but not at 6pm on a Thursday!

Feisar · 27-08-2019 7:15pm

Try the post office when it's pension day. Feckin' joke. Staff seem to be as bad, encouraging it. I got to the counter and this lad starts on about the day. I'm her to pay my speeding fine and feck off. I'll sure as hell be polite but I'm not here for idle chit chat especially when I can hear creaking hips behind me.

freshpopcorn · 27-08-2019 7:18pm

Feisar wrote: »

Try the post office when it's pension day. Feckin' joke. Staff seem to be as bad, encouraging it. I got to the counter and this lad starts on about the day. I'm her to pay my speeding fine and feck off. I'll sure as hell be polite but I'm not here for idle chit chat especially when I can hear creaking hips behind me.

Sorry the staff member wasn't going fast enough for you!
Slow down a little.

maudgonner · 27-08-2019 7:31pm

Ashleigh1986 wrote: »

Of course it's mostly women .
They're never ready .
Same at set of traffic lights .... Lights change to green/ get your head out of the phone .
Of course she won't have to stop ... It's us 5 cars back that have to stop .

My (male) colleague sits in a queue at traffic lights and only puts his car in gear once the car in front of him moves off.

I have to restrain myself from ripping his head off.

beejee · 27-08-2019 7:44pm

Assetbacked wrote: »

Shopping will be done online or, alternatively, by scanning as we go and then automatically having payment taken when we walk out of the shop. Another way you won't be able to annoy the rest of us.

I don't blame people for these amateur assumptions, however you simply must be corrected.

Whereas you believe you will be able to evade my god-inspiring aged muscular frame by shopping online, you've forgotten about my future skill of transcending physicality.

Like a pop-up virus, just as you're about to check out online, I'll exert minimal contraction of the shin muscles thus obscuring your screen, simultaneously imparting snow-blindness from my bleached 120 year old leg.

You forgot that, didn't ye. They all do.

Feisar · 27-08-2019 7:48pm

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Sorry the staff member wasn't going fast enough for you!
Slow down a little.

Hahaha!

Rezident · 27-08-2019 8:42pm

When I worked on the till in Dunnes Stores there was a mother with her young son and these two auld wans, must have been in their sixties, asking him what he wanted for Christmas. The kid said he wanted an Action Man and one of the auld wans goes 'don't we all'!

dresden8 · 27-08-2019 8:45pm

suicide_circus wrote: »

UNEXPECTED AULD WAN IN THE BAGGING AREA

UNEXPECTED AULD WAN IN THE AULD BAG AREA.

FYP

fmpisces · 27-08-2019 8:47pm

Well I think aul lads are worse :pac:

Chill out OP, we'll all be old some day......

Mr. teddywinkles · 27-08-2019 8:59pm

Feisar wrote: »

Try the post office when it's pension day. Feckin' joke. Staff seem to be as bad, encouraging it. I got to the counter and this lad starts on about the day. I'm her to pay my speeding fine and feck off. I'll sure as hell be polite but I'm not here for idle chit chat especially when I can hear creaking hips behind me.

Hahaha speeding fine. So funny.

Feisar · 27-08-2019 10:32pm

Mr. teddywinkles wrote: »

Hahaha speeding fine. So funny.

Them's the breaks.

ILoveYourVibes · 27-08-2019 10:35pm

It took what 3 minutes to wait?

SirChenjin · 27-08-2019 10:45pm

HeidiHeidi wrote: »

We'll all be old and lonely some day as well.

Although it will undoubtedly some day induce a heart attack in me, the more of a rush you're in, the slower they are.

It's the (invariably) younger ones who scan all the shopping and then go "oops, I forgot X, do you mind???" and go cantering off down the supermarket, rendering the till useless until they return, that will get me done for murder some day.

Had that ahead of me one day last week. They didn't even say sorry.
It was a couple, she went back for something and he stood like a statue, doing nothing, until she returned.

Atlantic Dawn · 27-08-2019 10:57pm

Tesco and their fooking clothing range going through the checkouts is another fooker, the checkout operators hand pack them in paper bags like something from coming out of jaysus Louis Copeland, always takes ages or you get some bellend buying them thinking the checkout operator is a master tailor and knows if an Age 11-12 shirt will fit her son who is 10.5. Ffs, just fook off.

HeidiHeidi · 27-08-2019 11:05pm

SirChenjin wrote: »

Had that ahead of me one day last week. They didn't even say sorry.
It was a couple, she went back for something and he stood like a statue, doing nothing, until she returned.

Paralysed with mortification, I hope.

whisky_galore · 28-08-2019 6:07am

BuboBubo wrote: »

I don't mind the aul ones, I'm practically one myself

The worst ones are the deaf and blind parent brigade with their ill mannered spawn bawling for chocolate etc.

I'd happily queue behind 27 oul ones to avoid that lot, with their little crotch goblins climbing onto the packing shelf and their parents with the solicitor on speed dial.

Crotch goblins.
Thanks, going to use this.

anewme · 28-08-2019 6:57am

Some people will do anything to get another women bashing thread in.

Remember, for many old people living alone, a chat with the checkout operator may be the only contact they have that day.

My Mum goes to Lidl on Wednesdays to get out of the house and have a rummage through the middle aisle. She comes home with some random rubbish, which she shows me on a Saturdsy.

As for the aul wans (and aul fellas), leave em off enjoy their shopping and more power to them.

Growing old is a privilege denied to many.

FishOnABike · 28-08-2019 8:09am

beejee wrote: »

... Their peers will giggle at their burst heads and coo in admiration as I bound over the checkout, through the shop window and into my revving Rolls Royce, hob nobs intact as I laugh with the gusto of the four winds.

Probably.

Don't be ridiculous, a Roll Royce doesn't rev, it merely emits an understated contented purr.

screamer · 28-08-2019 8:17am

I think young wans are incredibly rude. They don’t even look up from their phones to speak to the cashier.
Personally with small kids with me I am Uber organized, no wallet, card in back pocket and left up beside the machine as I go past so they know I’m paying with card. I pack the conveyor belt putting similar stuff together for easier bag packing afterwards and I’m through as quick as the cashier can scan. Yes I shop in aldi and lidl but I also talk to the cashiers which is rare and they’re people too probably bored off their tree. I feel sorry for auld wans maybe they have no one left to talk to. But, as you were........

28-08-2019 8:23am

I was in Dunnes a few months ago and the checkout girl and customer in front of me seemed to know each other. I’m not joking when I say the checkout girl scanned the items so slowly, one by one ,chatting between each item , it took forever. They were chatting about the upcoming Communion , what the kids were going to wear, fake tans, what food the caterers were making etc.

The payment process took even longer as customer had all her bloody vouchers in a side pocket of her bag, the communion chat continuing all the time as she rummaged. . THEN the packing up of all the shopping had to be done by BOTH of them , as slowly as possible to keep the chat going.

Not once did cashier look up at me or the queue. It was a crazy busy Saturday morning so all cashiers were flat out . This took the biscuit though ! If you want to chat to your friends PHONE them ! I made a complaint to Dunnes that time .

NabyLadistheman · 28-08-2019 8:35am

OP your Aulwan is the worst

Stevieluvsye · 28-08-2019 8:51am

Gerry G wrote: »

Why is it that they can never have their money or their card ready by the time their mountain of shopping has been scanned? Why do they have to go rooting in their oversized bag every feckin time. Then when all is said and done they decide to produce the vouchers and have a chat with the bored checkout assistant. All the while, everyone else behind them are just waiting to pay for their stuff, get the hell out of dodge and get on with their day? Feckin aul wuns

So it's not just me.

So how this scenario ALWAYS plays out in my local Tesco

Oul dear in front of me, let's say in her 60's, puts her basket of shopping down, bleeped through, then will ask the foreign lad on the till for the most obscure pack of cigarettes known to man. After lad pointing at every single pack she decides on the most obvious pack

Then we move on to Euro millions

Then to Irish lotto

Then to check previous tickets for winners

Then we move on to scratch cards

Then we move on to packing up shopping

I HAVEN'T GOT THE TIME OR PATIENTS FOR THIS YOU SELFISH FCUKER. DO ALL THIS BEFORE 4.30

Edgware · 28-08-2019 8:51am

screamer wrote: »

I think young wans are incredibly rude. They don’t even look up from their phones to speak to the cashier.
Personally with small kids with me I am Uber organized, no wallet, card in back pocket and left up beside the machine as I go past so they know I’m paying with card. I pack the conveyor belt putting similar stuff together for easier bag packing afterwards and I’m through as quick as the cashier can scan. Yes I shop in aldi and lidl but I also talk to the cashiers which is rare and they’re people too probably bored off their tree. I feel sorry for auld wans maybe they have no one left to talk to. But, as you were........

Oh if everyone was as perfect as you it would be a lovely world

SirChenjin · 28-08-2019 9:20am

HeidiHeidi wrote: »

Paralysed with mortification, I hope.

Not at all.

I don't know why the cashier didn't go ahead and scan the stuff and he could have packed so that there would only be one thing to go through when she eventually returned.

But no, complete halt and not a word of apology.

anewme · 28-08-2019 9:37am

Stevieluvsye wrote: »

So it's not just me.

So how this scenario ALWAYS plays out in my local Tesco

Oul dear in front of me, let's say in her 60's, puts her basket of shopping down, bleeped through, then will ask the foreign lad on the till for the most obscure pack of cigarettes known to man. After lad pointing at every single pack she decides on the most obvious pack

Then we move on to Euro millions

Then to Irish lotto

Then to check previous tickets for winners

Then we move on to scratch cards

Then we move on to packing up shopping

I HAVEN'T GOT THE TIME OR PATIENTS FOR THIS YOU SELFISH FCUKER. DO ALL THIS BEFORE 4.30

Ah Doctor., you need to be a bit more patient.

a patient is for life, not just for Tesco.

Infernal Racket · 28-08-2019 10:46am

anewme wrote: »

Some people will do anything to get another women bashing thread in.

Remember, for many old people living alone, a chat with the checkout operator may be the only contact they have that day.

My Mum goes to Lidl on Wednesdays to get out of the house and have a rummage through the middle aisle. She comes home with some random rubbish, which she shows me on a Saturdsy.

As for the aul wans (and aul fellas), leave em off enjoy their shopping and more power to them.

Growing old is a privilege denied to many.

They can stand at the door or in the aisles and chat away all day if they wish, just don't do it at the damn checkout holding up everyone else.

Graces7 · 28-08-2019 10:57am

Feisar wrote: »

Try the post office when it's pension day. Feckin' joke. Staff seem to be as bad, encouraging it. I got to the counter and this lad starts on about the day. I'm her to pay my speeding fine and feck off. I'll sure as hell be polite but I'm not here for idle chit chat especially when I can hear creaking hips behind me.

If you go into a Post Office on pension day morning you deserve all you get, frankly! Everyone knows what it is like... walk on by and come back later

fryup · 28-08-2019 11:04am

Deleted User wrote: »

Not once did cashier look up at me or the queue. It was a crazy busy Saturday morning so all cashiers were flat out . This took the biscuit though ! If you want to chat to your friends PHONE them ! I made a complaint to Dunnes that time .

i don't blame ya, but that young one may have got the sack because of it...how do you feel about that?

28-08-2019 11:20am

fryup wrote: »

i don't blame ya, but that young one may have got the sack because of it...how do you feel about that?

She didn't , she's still there ðŸ™‚, it's my local Dunnes .

.....and by the way she's not paid to slow down the scanning process in order to chat to her friends with a queue of 6 people waiting , no eye contact , no 'sorry to keep you waiting ' (which Lidl always do ). She's paid to work and give good customer service .

fryup · 28-08-2019 11:29am

^^^^^^^^^^

i know, i understand you're frustration ..its a bugbear of mine as well

Graces7 · 28-08-2019 11:33am

Deleted User wrote: »

She didn't , she's still there &#55357;&#56898;, it's my local Dunnes .

.....and by the way she's not paid to slow down the scanning process in order to chat to her friends with a queue of 6 people waiting , no eye contact , no 'sorry to keep you waiting ' (which Lidl always do ). She's paid to work and give good customer service .

Nor is she or a customer a machine. She was giving excellent service...

MetzgerMeister · 28-08-2019 12:58pm

What also annoys me intensely is when they're going around with their trolley and abandon it at the middle top of the aisle and then go looking down the aisle while the trolley is in the way of everyone else. Then you have the instances where a worker has their stock trolley in the middle of the aisle (that's fine) but then an abandoned shopping trolley at either side of it.

dxhound2005 · 28-08-2019 1:39pm

MetzgerMeister wrote: »

What also annoys me intensely is when they're going around with their trolley and abandon it at the middle top of the aisle and then go looking down the aisle while the trolley is in the way of everyone else. Then you have the instances where a worker has their stock trolley in the middle of the aisle (that's fine) but then an abandoned shopping trolley at either side of it.

Take the opportunity to drop one or two small items into the trolley, when they are not looking. Much jollification at the checkout later. I don't think it breaks any law.

Odelay · 28-08-2019 1:48pm

MetzgerMeister wrote: »

What also annoys me intensely is when they're going around with their trolley and abandon it at the middle top of the aisle and then go looking down the aisle while the trolley is in the way of everyone else. Then you have the instances where a worker has their stock trolley in the middle of the aisle (that's fine) but then an abandoned shopping trolley at either side of it.

Drop boxes of condoms and fanny pads in them.

facehugger99 · 28-08-2019 1:57pm

It's the sheer self-centered ignorance of most of them that I can't get my head around. I can understand someone forgetting something and having to go back for it but to not even acknowledge that you are delaying a line of other people with a mumbled apology or something is just rude.

Most of the aul-biddy time-thieves don't give a **** about anyone else other than themselves.

28-08-2019 2:11pm

facehugger99 wrote: »

It's the sheer self-centered ignorance of most of them that I can't get my head around. I can understand someone forgetting something and having to go back for it but to not even acknowledge that you are delaying a line of other people with a mumbled apology or something is just rude.

Most of the aul-biddy time-thieves don't give a **** about anyone else other than themselves.

There's a word for that sort of behaviour: "obstinate". Bringing two items to the queue, not doing the mental arithmetic & then looking surprised when asked for money is galling. Particularly when the coppers are pain-stakingly placed on the counter. I've witnessed this ritual many times.

thunderdog · 28-08-2019 2:17pm

Had one last night. Paid for her shopping, no major issues so far but she then proceeded to check through her bill (full shop) while waiting directly at the till. I asked her to move as I was next in line and I couldn’t pack my shopping away. She looked at me disgruntled and moved about 5 or 6 inches, still at the till.

Myself and the checkout girl looked at each other in disbelief as she had to scan my items and hand them directly to me to put in my trolley as we had to wait for this aul wan to check through her bill!

I have no problem people checking their bill but move out of the way so the next person can get in! We have places to be

anewme · 28-08-2019 2:57pm

I love when I get a narky impatient ****e behind me. I'm not slow, but some people are just impatient tools, huffing and puffing as if they are heading to a G7 Conference or something.

If you are that important, you'll have hired help to do your shopping for you, otherwise, you are just Johnny Ordinary same as the rest of us.

When I know there is a nark like that, I invariably slow down and start foostering around and if they dare say anything to me or huff and puff, I ate the head off them! They often get a shock at being told they can fcking wait. Can be good stress relief. Treat as you are treated is my motto.

Deebles McBeebles · 28-08-2019 3:08pm

anewme wrote: »

Johnny Ordinary

Johnny Ordinary Rings would be a terrible crisp idea.

dubstepper · 28-08-2019 3:35pm

anewme wrote: »

As for the aul wans (and aul fellas), leave em off enjoy their shopping and more power to them.

Growing old is a privilege denied to many.

In fairness you can feel your youth slipping away while some aul one searches for the 2 euro off Fairy liquid voucher buried in her purse (which in turn is buried in her bag).

iamwhoiam · 28-08-2019 3:39pm

I am an auld wan , I have my card and vouchers ready and my shopping organised on the belt . They come down in order as I organised them and into bags I have open and ready . We are not all thick

Aul wuns at the Checkout Till

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