Why are most families houses and lives in a mess???

Lillyfae · 25-09-2019 4:04pm

iamwhoiam wrote: »

Grandchildren just left from here . House was upended with a fort made of cushions in one room and playmobil in another and crumbs all over the kitchen floor . They left and it was tidied in 7 minutes , all back to its former glory . Can’t wait for it to be upended again very soon

That's the thing, she loves having pretend picnics with the dog so there are mostly blankets, cushions, various things from her kitchen and teddies all over the floor when she's up- I'm not tidying around her when she's playing but when she's done we clear up and it only takes 5 minutes. It's just not like that all day every day.

Raconteuse · 25-09-2019 4:11pm

whisky_galore wrote: »

Nothing worse than a house that looks like a bomb slammed into a branch of Smyths Toys, half sucked sweets and dirty clothes thrown into the mix.

There are actually many many things worse than it.

Hector Savage · 25-09-2019 4:15pm

Gregor Samsa wrote: »

My house is a fücking mess. 3 kids. Two six year olds will just make absolute ****e of your house. Given my experience with their older sister, I’m hoping that by the time they’re 10 things will settle down a bit. I’m in the kitchen at the moment. There’s 4 bikes and two dismantled bunk beds sitting here, surrounded by school bags, doll buggies, runners swimming gear and a musical keyboard. I can barely see any of the surface of the dining room table. The living room is full of toys. There’s an entire bedroom upstairs I can’t get into because of stuff.

It’s called life. It’s a quarter to one in the morning, and I’m just finished making the lunches. I’m up at 7 tomorrow - I mean today All day was in work. Once I got home, between bringing them to football, doing the shopping, helping with their homework, cooking dinner and having a bit of time to play with them before getting them to bed, there’s been no time to sit down. once they went to bed, I did washing and some tidying. posted once or twice on Boards just as a distraction between chores. My wife was at a meeting all day in Dublin, and once she got back back she had to visit her sick mother in hospital 40km away, so that was her evening gone. I spent all last week abroad for work, while she spent most of it in both Limerick and Cork hospitals with her mother.

So yeah, the fücking house is a mess. If any cünt wants to judge me for it, they can fück right off.

Why haven't you killed yourself yet ?

Gregor Samsa · 25-09-2019 4:33pm

Hector Savage wrote: »

Why haven't you killed yourself yet ?

Huh? Why do you suppose I'd kill myself? Because I have to make lunches for thee small children at night? Because I'm holding the fort while my wife cares for her sick mother?

If stuff like that makes you think of throwing in the towel, you're in for a rough ride when you grow up.

ceadaoin. · 25-09-2019 4:37pm

My house isnt a mess despite having a child, but only because we have lots of storage and there is a playroom where all the toys and crap can go. There is a place for everything. Built in and sufficient storage areas is something most irish homes lack IMO.

when they are babies and toddlers it's impossible to keep the living areas free of any trace of them though. And why should there be no trace of them when they are family members living in the home?

Hector Savage · 25-09-2019 4:50pm

Gregor Samsa wrote: »

Huh? Why do you suppose I'd kill myself? Because I have to make lunches for thee small children at night? Because I'm holding the fort while my wife cares for her sick mother?

If stuff like that makes you think of throwing in the towel, you're in for a rough ride when you grow up.

Relax pal, it's a joke, I have 2 myself and it's stressful - thats the joke, I can relate!

Gregor Samsa · 25-09-2019 5:25pm

Hector Savage wrote: »

Relax pal, it's a joke, I have 2 myself and it's stressful - thats the joke, I can relate!

Ah, I'm only buzzin' off yer mallet.

The reason I haven't killed myself is that I can't find the rope in all the mess.

Hector Savage · 25-09-2019 5:33pm

Gregor Samsa wrote: »

Ah, I'm only buzzin' off yer mallet.

The reason I haven't killed myself is that I can't find the rope in all the mess.

Its gotten to the stage I only clean up the living room floor once a week as the 3 year old just upends boxes of his toy cars the very next morning ..

JupiterKid · 25-09-2019 6:30pm

Well, I don’t have children or pets so my apartment is quite easy to keep tidy and clean - hoover the floors twice a week, wash up dishes and pots daily, laundry every few days, clean kitchen, bathroom as I go etc.

But children make a house messy - especially young children. That’s just a fact of life. A house or apartment that is in a sterile showhouse pristine condition is not a home. It’s not properly lived in, it’s not a home.

What’s the poing of frantically cleaning up after children and pets 24/7? That is not a life. I like my place to be neat and tidy and importantly, hygienically clean but it’s far from perfect. My bookshelves are overflowing and I have a clutter of paperwork on my dining table. But it’s cozy and lived in and it’s my home.

I doubt the people the OP is attacking really care of what he thinks of their homes. Life is way too short to be worrying about what others may think of the state of one’s home.

NSAman · 25-09-2019 6:47pm

Earthsnotflat wrote: »

What I mean is that it is not that simple for everybody or all the time to achieve this connection between want and do. What I am opposed to is the very simplistic way of dividing people between those who want clean house and have it and those messy kind that live in chaos because they choose to. If you feel better in comparison just have in mind the outcome you see is neither all to your credit if it's good or someone else's fault if it looks bad to you. You never know what tomorrow will be like, maybe you too will be in place of someone living in mess not of you choosing and unable to keep up on top all the time. Who chooses to live in chaos on purpose? I think that's the whole point, if some manage their mess better then others thats very well, but don't feel superior by thinking that other just must like this mess , they probably not

Its not feeling superior. Its time and priority management. I choose to live in a clean environment that takes time to do. Others not so much, thats fine too.

Everyone has their own way of living and while I choose the OCD way, which means many hours a week cleaning, that is my choice.

I had to laugh a few years ago, I have an apartment in Dublin which again is maintained and immaculate. My neighbours (two nurses) called at the door asking for help with their heating. I showed them how the heating controls worked and they thanked me and invited me in for coffee.

They also asked me who my cleaning lady was. I said I dont have one, I do it myself.

When I went in for coffee I could see why they asked about the cleaner. There Ladies were MESSY, wanted to live in a clean environment but were not willing to do the work necessary.

I can understand parents with kids having an untidy house perfectly, kids take time and NEED to play they have to have time and never would I say a parent is lazy.

Two ladies who wanted someone else to clean up after them though, yet were able to go out socialising for hours on end... thats called lazy.

kyote00 · 25-09-2019 7:58pm

I nominate you.

If you could call around between 3-5 each day to tidy up - that would be great.

Gunnar Shrilling Saint wrote: »

Seriously, one of the parents needs to stay home and organise their lives.

bottlebrush · 25-09-2019 8:06pm

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

but in a tidy house you would never have the joy of stepping on Thomas the tank engine barefoot, hungover causing one to fall over a coffee table at 7am on a Sunday morning

And don't forget the pieces of leggo

anewme · 25-09-2019 8:12pm

NSAman wrote: »

Earthsnotflat wrote: »

What I mean is that it is not that simple for everybody or all the time to achieve this connection between want and do. What I am opposed to is the very simplistic way of dividing people between those who want clean house and have it and those messy kind that live in chaos because they choose to. If you feel better in comparison just have in mind the outcome you see is neither all to your credit if it's good or someone else's fault if it looks bad to you. You never know what tomorrow will be like, maybe you too will be in place of someone living in mess not of you choosing and unable to keep up on top all the time. Who chooses to live in chaos on purpose? I think that's the whole point, if some manage their mess better then others thats very well, but don't feel superior by thinking that other just must like this mess , they probably not

Its not feeling superior. Its time and priority management. I choose to live in a clean environment that takes time to do. Others not so much, thats fine too.

Everyone has their own way of living and while I choose the OCD way, which means many hours a week cleaning, that is my choice.

I had to laugh a few years ago, I have an apartment in Dublin which again is maintained and immaculate. My neighbours (two nurses) called at the door asking for help with their heating. I showed them how the heating controls worked and they thanked me and invited me in for coffee.

They also asked me who my cleaning lady was. I said I dont have one, I do it myself.

When I went in for coffee I could see why they asked about the cleaner. There Ladies were MESSY, wanted to live in a clean environment but were not willing to do the work necessary.

I can understand parents with kids having an untidy house perfectly, kids take time and NEED to play they have to have time and never would I say a parent is lazy.

Two ladies who wanted someone else to clean up after them though, yet were able to go out socialising for hours on end... thats called lazy.

Very unfair.

Lazy is not the term I'd use to describe people who work as Nurses. They do a difficult and challenging job, which I'd be no way able for.

If they want to socialise out of hours, more power to them. If they want to have a cleaner to allow them more down time, then again that's their choice.

Because cleaning is not their priority for their time off, that's their perrogative.

Rezident · 25-09-2019 8:15pm

Gunnar Shrilling Saint wrote: »

I’ve had the pleasure of being invited to several homes of young families recently and by young I mean new parents in their late 30’s and 40’s...

I’m aghast at how much crap people accumulate in their homes! Ikea boxes full of kids toys shoved in corners. My experience is limited to Dublin where all the “young” families with their delusions of grandeur want to live in the south east part of Dublin in houses they can barely afford all the while their lives are in chaos with plastic toys strewn everywhere, both working, 2 cars, hand-balling kids, 9 - 5, dinner Seriously, one of the parents needs to stay home and organise their lives.

Then you would probably think our home was a 'mess' because we focus on loving our children and not being shallow, superficial phonies. Substance > optics for me.

Cyrus · 25-09-2019 8:30pm

Rezident wrote: »

Then you would probably think our home was a 'mess' because we focus on loving our children and not being shallow, superficial phonies. Substance > optics for me.

You can love your children and not have a messy house believe it or not

rosmoke · 25-09-2019 8:47pm

It's always easier to find excuses or to lower those clean and tidy standards.
Been told my wife suffers from OCD by people so filthy that you couldn't imagine, it's just standards at the end of the day.
Honestly feel bad for kids as they receive a bad education or don't receive any at all with absent parents.

coffee_cake · 25-09-2019 8:48pm

listen i just vacuumed ok

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 25-09-2019 8:55pm

As long as the houses are clean and sanitary, who cares about a bit of mess? It’s just so unimportant. My granny spent her life being a neat freak. Such a waste of time and energy. My sister tidies up around you and snatches the cup out of your hand the second you’ve finished your drink. Visiting her house is not relaxing. What will happen if the cups and plates sit there for a while?

lulu1 · 25-09-2019 9:10pm

The last of my 3 has just went to collage and i long for the weekends when the 3 are home together and the bags shoes and god knows what else laying everywhere

This is what you call a home I dont want a show house

HappyAsLarE · 25-09-2019 9:12pm

Our gaff would be pretty close to show house level of tidyness with essentially zero clutter on view. Both me and the missus have serious OCD. We are the only people that could live with the other.

buried · 25-09-2019 9:17pm

OP is Aonghus von Bismarck lite

anewme · 25-09-2019 9:18pm

It wont be in anyone's obituary or on their headstone.

" Tickers kept an immaculately tidy house"

Once your home is hygienic, the rest is life- a few toys scattered round , a dog on the couch?

Dont sweat the small stuff.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 25-09-2019 9:19pm

Lillyfae wrote: »

My nearly 3 year old has 2 small boxes of toys, all her colouring stuff and a play kitchen downstairs, plus books on shelves that she can reach both downstairs and in her room. We have a small open plan house so we can't fit any more or it will be chaos, and that doesn't make anyone happy. We cull regularly. She knows that she has to tidy everything up before she goes to bed in the afternoon and at night.

We don't buy her new toys unless it's Christmas or her birthday. She's welcome to walk around a shop with something in her hand but she knows that it doesn't belong to her and she has to put it back where she got it before we leave. Last year on her birthday invitation, I specified to people that if they had age appropriate books/ toys at home already to feel free to regift- after her first birthday we learned our lesson, so much stuff that was immediately dumped or brought to the charity shop, it's so pointless and wasteful.

We have a cleaner 2 hours per week for dusting, hoovering, mopping, cleaning the bathroom- the rest we just keep on top of and it's completely doable but we're lucky, we both work in flexible jobs (me 4 days and him 4.5 days) so she's in the creche 2.5 days and with nana 1 day. The creche and nana's house are exploding with toys AND she has a dog so has more than enough to keep her occupied without filling the house with rubbish. This would make none of us happy, I like cleanliness and order. My boyfriend would be worse than either me or my daughter in terms of clutter :pac:.

Having said all that, I don't judge people who have messy houses but by that token don't think that it has to be that way- my favourite is that Facebook status that stay at home moms always seem to use about their houses being messy because their children are happy, loved and played with. My daughter is too, we just teach her that cleaning up is the end part of the playing.

You are judging here. The “I don’t judge people” disclaimer doesn’t negate what follows.

Leg End Reject · 25-09-2019 9:21pm

Anyone know where to look for a cleaner? The whole palaver would drive you to drink, but I can't stand mess either.

eviltwin · 25-09-2019 9:21pm

My house is messy, 3 adults, 1 child and numerous pets will do that. I'm fine with it. We all live busy lives and when we get home we'd rather be doing something besides housework. We catch up with it eventually. I don't know why it bothers the OP, it has no impact on his life.

anewme · 25-09-2019 9:22pm

Try your local fb page. It's actually v hard to get someone.

anewme · 25-09-2019 9:22pm

Try your local fb page. It's actually v hard to get someone.

buried · 25-09-2019 9:22pm

A tidy house is a sign of a person/people akin to the likes of Patrick Bateman or Cameron Frye.
Neither hoor you would really want to be.

Leg End Reject · 25-09-2019 9:24pm

anewme wrote: »

Try your local fb page. It's actually v hard to get someone.

I'm not on fb, but I'll get someone to look. Life is really too short.

coffee_cake · 25-09-2019 9:34pm

Leg End Reject wrote: »

I'm not on fb, but I'll get someone to look. Life is really too short.

i was thinking about that as well but the arranging and do you leave a key and i don't know

Why are most families houses and lives in a mess???

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