Wedding on a Thursday

yourdeadwright · 28-01-2021 11:24am #1

Hey guys
Just wondering what are your thoughts on getting invited to a wedding on a Thursday ,
We have decided to cancel our wedding this summer and rebooked it for next year , Just kind of stuck between doing it on a Friday or a Thursday next year ,,

The available Thursday suits us because its 1 month earlier than the Friday is available,

Now its not a massive inconvenience to us to wait a month for the Friday but i'm just wondering what do guest think of getting invites for a Thursday ,

StevenToast · 28-01-2021 11:27am

I was best man for a Thursday wedding....the groom is a tight c*nt so no one was surprised he went on a thursday...

No one likes getting invited to weddings...ESPECIALLY if they are on a thursday....

You expect everyone to take 2 days off work for your special little day?

djr15 · 28-01-2021 11:29am

could be a in a similar position myself, as we have a July wedding date for this year, a Friday.

if we push til next year it will most likely be a Thursday wedding given availability.

I would hope that close family and friends will all make the effort for a Thursday wedding.
And if you give people enough notice it shouldn’t be an issue. Could be the makings of a great weekend.

Best of luck.

yourdeadwright · 28-01-2021 11:29am

StevenToast wrote: »

I was best man for a Thursday wedding....the groom is a tight c*nt so no one was surprised he went on a thursday...

No one likes getting invited to weddings...ESPECIALLY if they are on a thursday....

You expect everyone to take 2 days off work for your special little day?

Ye I can totally understand that point of view and something iv been thinking about , but sometimes its not a case of being tight its the availability of the venue ,

woodchuck · 28-01-2021 11:29am

Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't be a fan. Mainly because it involves taking 2 days of annual leave!

But these aren't normal circumstances. I think guests will be understanding, with so many people postponing and limited dates available. But do be prepared for some people to decline due to a lack of annual leave. Especially as people will have a backlog of weddings to attend next year and simply won't be able to accommodate them all.

If the Friday is available, that would be the preferable option from a guest perspective tbh.

Hannibal_Smith · 28-01-2021 11:32am

If its not going to impact on you drastically, I'd wait and do it on the Friday. I'd love a wedding invite for a Friday, knowing I'd the weekend off after.

lazygal · 28-01-2021 11:39am

We had a Friday wedding and even at that we deliberately had a later ceremony so people would only need to take a half day off work if they were so inclined.

I have been to Wednesday and Thursday weddings and people (us included) will leave early so as to not miss a second day of work.

JPup · 28-01-2021 11:46am

I've been to one Thursday wedding and it went really well. A lot of people made a long weekend of it and the weather was great which helped.

The tricky bit this year is what the Covid restrictions will be. Will people be allowed make a long weekend of it? If they are, then people will be delighted to have a three day party! There will be some pent up demand for a session when this is all over!

djr15 · 28-01-2021 11:48am

JPup wrote: »

I've been to one Thursday wedding and it went really well. A lot of people made a long weekend of it and the weather was great which helped.

The tricky bit this year is what the Covid restrictions will be. Will people be allowed make a long weekend of it? If they are, then people will be delighted to have a three day party! There will be some pent up demand for a session when this is all over!

I think the OP is talking about next year.

Kevhog1988 · 28-01-2021 11:50am

Wouldnt be too happy about it. It means taking 2 days annual leave which is a right pain in the hole. Comes across as tight in my eyes.

lawrencesummers · 28-01-2021 11:54am

I hate it.

Friday is the best best, one days holidays and two days to recover or continue the party.

Thursday is a pain because some people simply have to work, and many people going will get up for work the following day and that dents the party.

I’m invited to a thursday wedding soon, and with work it looks like I’m going to have to skip the church and be available on the Friday so and early night for me.

JPup · 28-01-2021 12:01pm

djr15 wrote: »

I think the OP is talking about next year.

Sorry you're right. In that case definitely go for it.

Not all your guests will want to stay for two days obviously, but a lot will and your close family and friends will make a great long weekend of it.

Teach30 · 28-01-2021 12:23pm

Depends on people’s jobs and taking a day off. I wouldnt do it myself as v hard for teachers to take a day during term time but if it was during summer grand.

bee06 · 28-01-2021 1:09pm

Went to a Thursday wedding a few years ago. We actually were invited to weddings on the Thursday, Friday and Saturday that week (we skipped Friday). It was a great wedding and didn’t have a problem taking two days off because they were good friends.

I think given you already had to postpone due to Covid anyone worth knowing will understand that it’s really difficult to get a replacement date and should understand.

mikhail · 28-01-2021 1:26pm

woodchuck wrote: »

Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't be a fan. Mainly because it involves taking 2 days of annual leave!

But these aren't normal circumstances. I think guests will be understanding, with so many people postponing and limited dates available...

Explain all you like, some people will hate you for the decision. Hell, I've heard people bitch about foreign weddings where the bride is foreign and it's in her country. Some people just look for stuff to complain about.

yourdeadwright · 28-01-2021 1:29pm

mikhail wrote: »

Explain all you like, some people will hate you for the decision. Hell, I've heard people bitch about foreign weddings where the bride is foreign and it's in her country. Some people just look for stuff to complain about.

Jesus hate is a bit much ,
Not sure about you but I wouldn't be friends or inviting anyone to my wedding who would hate you over a decision of what day

woodchuck · 28-01-2021 1:35pm

mikhail wrote: »

Explain all you like, some people will hate you for the decision. Hell, I've heard people bitch about foreign weddings where the bride is foreign and it's in her country. Some people just look for stuff to complain about.

Hate you for the decision? That's a bit much! People can always decline the invitation if it doesn't suit them.

We were originally booked to get married on a Saturday and we picked that date because we knew it would be the most convenient for our guests. But we postponed due to the pandemic and we've rescheduled for a Sunday, due to availability of suppliers. We think a Sunday is better than a Thursday; our logic is that with a Sunday you only need to take 1 day off, if any (it's a local venue for most and needs to end by 11.30pm anyway under the restrictions).

If we need to postpone again, we'll be lucky to get a Sunday. We'll settle for a Thursday if we have to. It's not like we'd be intentionally trying to inconvenience our guests though. With so many people postponing, along with couples who were already originally booked in for next year, popular days are just gone. My close friends understand and are sympathetic about our situation... there's certainly no hate there.

Cerveza · 28-01-2021 1:38pm

Very unfair on asking guests to be taking two days off work just because it suits some. Move it to Saturday or at least Friday.

lazygal · 28-01-2021 1:49pm

Cerveza wrote: »

Very unfair on asking guests to be taking two days off work just because it suits some. Move it to Saturday or at least Friday.

It is an invitation not an obligation.

eviltwin · 28-01-2021 2:07pm

I’m of the opinion a couple should do whatever they want. It’s their day. But you have to bear in mind that some things such as day of the week, location, no kids etc won’t suit everyone and people may not go. Once your ok with that go for it.

micks_address · 28-01-2021 2:10pm

Just goes to show most people are interested in the major piss up that comes with the wedding as opposed to the actual wedding

you could go to a Thursday wedding and not be dying drunk Friday and still go to work

woodchuck · 28-01-2021 2:14pm

micks_address wrote: »

Just goes to show most people are interested in the major piss up that comes with the wedding as opposed to the actual wedding you could go to a Thursday wedding and not be dying drunk Friday and still go to work

I think it down to the location/distance too though. If it's a few hours drive away, even if you haven't been drinking, you wouldn't want to be driving back late at night on the Thursday, so you can start work early on the Friday. You'd be wrecked!

elefant · 28-01-2021 2:14pm

micks_address wrote: »

Just goes to show most people are interested in the major piss up that comes with the wedding as opposed to the actual wedding

I doubt many people are under illusions otherwise.
It's a big party, that's the fun of it. Nobody, other the couple and maybe a handful of others, are particularly excited about the ceremony.

SusieBlue · 28-01-2021 2:22pm

These aren’t normal circumstances or times and that needs to be acknowledged.
I know several people who have had to postpone their weddings till next year, the majority of which are now occurring on a week day because the weekends are simply booked out. I also know a few people who got engaged over Christmas who were shocked to find out that there are many venues not taking any more new bookings until they honour all their existing postponed ones.
There is no availability unless they wait until 2023 and beyond and if you’ve already been waiting since last year, that’s a long time.

Think about it, all the weddings for 2020 and most of the first half of 2021 will now need to fit into 2022.
There are only so many Fridays and Saturdays, and the venues will have to honour existing bookings while fitting in the rescheduled ones around them.
That means a lot of people are going to end up having weekday weddings.

It isn’t anyone’s fault that the pandemic has caused this. Pre covid, when planning for the future was actually a possibility and there was a lot more availability and choice, it’s understandable that choosing a weekday might be unfair or inconvenient on guests.

But now, there is little to no choice really and planning that far into the future is near impossible. So I say do as you please, and forget about anyone who has an issue with it.
It’s your wedding, anyone who really matters will understand the scheduling issues and be there if they can.

lazygal · 28-01-2021 2:23pm

micks_address wrote: »

Just goes to show most people are interested in the major piss up that comes with the wedding as opposed to the actual wedding you could go to a Thursday wedding and not be dying drunk Friday and still go to work

Most people don't want to have to use up annual leave to attend a party.

A wedding is of minor importance to anyone who isn't the couple getting married.

micks_address · 28-01-2021 2:31pm

lazygal wrote: »

Most people don't want to have to use up annual leave to attend a party.

A wedding is of minor importance to anyone who isn't the couple getting married.

As others have said its an invite not a legal obligation to attend..

lazygal · 28-01-2021 2:48pm

micks_address wrote: »

As others have said its an invite not a legal obligation to attend..

I know, I said it

HildaOgdenx · 28-01-2021 2:49pm

OP, I think you would probably get a greater take up on the Friday.

As has been said, Thursday might involve two days of A/L, depending on travel involved etc, whereas Friday, people might decide to make a weekend out of it.

All the best, whatever you decide.

Cerveza · 28-01-2021 2:53pm

lazygal wrote: »

It is an invitation not an obligation.

That’s a perfect internet response.

lawrencesummers · 28-01-2021 4:20pm

Sure it’s the couples day out and all that, but guests make sacrifices to be there as well, When your older and have kids and financial pressures going to a wedding is possibly the only night all year you get dressed up and have a night away with your other half.

It can be something you look forward to for a long time.

Having it on a Thursday just isn’t the same as a weekend.

Spanish Eyes · 28-01-2021 4:25pm

Leave it till the Friday a month later. I don't see why you are so eager for Thursday four weeks earlier.

There is enough stress involved in weddings, make it easy on yourselves. Sorted!

Cerveza · 28-01-2021 4:29pm

Thursday because it’s cheaper for them to have it.

Elwood_Blues · 28-01-2021 4:37pm

Had our wedding on a Thursday. We only had 80 guests at it and was a civil ceremony so everything was done at the venue. Was a great day.
No one had any issue with the Thursday (or at least they didn't say to our faces)
If people don't mind they'll go and if they do they won't. It's your day so sod the rest.

yourdeadwright · 28-01-2021 4:54pm

Cerveza wrote: »

Thursday because it’s cheaper for them to have it.

It's nothing to do with costs , its availability for the venue ,
The extra months wait just makes some other things in our life a little more awkward and complicated hence the thoughts on doing it on a Thursday about a month prior

eviltwin · 28-01-2021 4:59pm

Cerveza wrote: »

Thursday because it’s cheaper for them to have it.

It’s a pandemic. People want to get their ducks in a row, most engaged couples I know are thinking beyond the party to having a wedding while they or close family are well enough to attend. Stuff that wouldn’t have to be on their minds only for a pandemic. Cut them some slack. Personally, if I was single, I’d be getting a wedding ASAP regardless of the day or time, I’d want to have my legal affairs in order just in case. If someone gets upset or put out or, god forbid, inconvenienced, they can stay home and bitch about it from their sofa.

witchgirl26 · 28-01-2021 6:55pm

Normally not a fan of Thursday weddings for all the reasons people have mentioned but if it's a rescheduled coz of Covid-19 wedding then I'm actually fine with it. The couple is most likely dealing with a huge amount of stress and have chosen their venue and through no fault of their own can no longer have either the date they picked or the day of their choosing.

A friend of mine is getting married on a Thursday next year. Not rescheduled - they picked that day. Not going to lie, it has annoyed me a little as it does mean taking 2 days leave & sorting out someone to collect our child from creche on the Thursday and either mind him on the Friday or drop him to creche. While I can understand that people are on a budget etc it doesn't make it less annoying for some of the guests.

Spanish Eyes · 29-01-2021 12:20am

Thank God that weddings are not the be all and end all of other people's lives right now.

I guarantee that many guests would love to bail out, and some/many do, and many more will too. Anyway minimal guests is the rule for a long time to come anyway.

qwerty13 · 29-01-2021 4:24am

witchgirl26 wrote: »

Normally not a fan of Thursday weddings for all the reasons people have mentioned but if it's a rescheduled coz of Covid-19 wedding then I'm actually fine with it. The couple is most likely dealing with a huge amount of stress and have chosen their venue and through no fault of their own can no longer have either the date they picked or the day of their choosing.

A friend of mine is getting married on a Thursday next year. Not rescheduled - they picked that day. Not going to lie, it has annoyed me a little as it does mean taking 2 days leave & sorting out someone to collect our child from creche on the Thursday and either mind him on the Friday or drop him to creche. While I can understand that people are on a budget etc it doesn't make it less annoying for some of the guests.

Agree completely.

I used not to think anything of Thu weddings, until I had a lot to go to over 2 years. So 2 days leave for each one. And I now work for an American company where they don’t give great hols. So 10% of my leave per wedding unless it’s on a Friday or weekend - that’s what made me stop accepting invites on a weekday other than Friday. My holiday days are precious, and I’m not taking 2 days each for a few weddings per year.

So I decline any invite that isn’t a Friday or Saturday, unless for very very close family or friends.

29-01-2021 12:50pm

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

Thank God that weddings are not the be all and end all of other people's lives right now.

I guarantee that many guests would love to bail out, and some/many do, and many more will too. Anyway minimal guests is the rule for a long time to come anyway.

The day a couple gets married is very important and meaningful for them regardless or Covid.
There have always been people who would choose not to go. That's normal. It isn't an obligation and you have a choice. Restrictions of some level will be in place this year but next year the landscape will be very different I think.

PhilOssophy · 29-01-2021 1:01pm

I don't envy you OP.
Some people will complain about your wedding even if it is 5 minutes away.
If I was you, I'd make the call based on
1. If a lot of people have to travel a big distance to the wedding (therefore need to take 2 days leave)
2. The age group of your audience (people with children, etc will probably leave before midnight to let babysitters, etc off duty if they have relied on family members who might not be available the next day - better chance they'll be able to mind them on Saturday/Sunday morning!)
3. If you are just having family and a very small few close friends (family are likely to be more accommodating!)

On the whole, I'd personally wait until a Friday/Saturday was available if people in general have to travel any sort of long distance. If you are OK with a number of polite "sorry, Thursday doesn't suit" responses (a friend of mine had that) then work away for Thursday.

But people are unlikely to be keen to give up nearly 10% of their annual leave for your day.

eviltwin · 29-01-2021 1:15pm

Deleted User wrote: »

The day a couple gets married is very important and meaningful for them regardless or Covid.
There have always been people who would choose not to go. That's normal. It isn't an obligation and you have a choice. Restrictions of some level will be in place this year but next year the landscape will be very different I think.

But it doesn’t really matter to anyone else. More so now. I’m sure most people aren’t as invested in the arrangements of a wedding a year away as some couples think they are. Most people can’t really see beyond the next few weeks/months

29-01-2021 1:32pm

eviltwin wrote: »

But it doesn’t really matter to anyone else. More so now. I’m sure most people aren’t as invested in the arrangements of a wedding a year away as some couples think they are. Most people can’t really see beyond the next few weeks/months

The people who ot matters the most to are the couple getting married. That other poster wrote that "it wasn't the be all and end all".
Of course those invited are not invested, especially during these times.

Sunny Dayz · 29-01-2021 1:56pm

I think people are going to have to get used to the fact that there will be more weekday weddings in the next few years. Many people who were booked to get married last year or this year have possibly pushed the date out to 2022. There's only so many celebrants and venues available for weddings. Saturday's will go first closely followed by Fridays and there's only 7 days in a week (not sure if you can marry on a Sunday?).

For me if it's a family member or good friend I would go whatever day of the week it was. For a cousin or anyone else not as close, it would probably depend on if it was a local wedding.

My bro in law had his wedding on a Wednesday in the summer (a few years ago). We all booked the week off work, booked houses in the area and made a week of it and it was brilliant, they actually had a really good attendance at their wedding because so many of the guests were local, and those who weren't local chose to make a little break out of it.

woodchuck · 29-01-2021 2:10pm

Sunny Dayz wrote: »

I think people are going to have to get used to the fact that there will be more weekday weddings in the next few years. Many people who were booked to get married last year or this year have possibly pushed the date out to 2022. There's only so many celebrants and venues available for weddings. Saturday's will go first closely followed by Fridays and there's only 7 days in a week (not sure if you can marry on a Sunday?).

I agree. I think the knock-on effect is that weddings will generally end up being smaller for the next couple of years at least, as people will need to prioritise which weddings they are able to attend, particularly from an annual leave perspective.

Smaller weddings could be the way of the future long-term too. I've never been a fan of big weddings myself anyway. I don't see the need to go to the wedding of a work colleague or a cousin/friend I never see anymore. I think weddings could end up being a much more enjoyable affair if everyone has fewer weddings to attend overall and it's for someone they're genuinely close to. It could really be something to look forward to instead of "Uh, we've another wedding this weekend... number 6 this year is it? Who is it this time again?".

eviltwin · 29-01-2021 2:18pm

I’m quite precious about my annual leave but if it’s a weekday wedding for a friend and will be somewhat of a friends reunion I’d see that as a good use of my time.

yourdeadwright · 29-01-2021 3:55pm

Just for some context it won't be huge wedding about 105 invited of course we expect some not to be able to go anyway ,

We are from Dublin and the whole wedding is in the City centre ,

I'm not stupid I do realise Friday would be the "better option" for guest,
Waiting a month doesn't seem like a long time and it really isn't but its just causes us some complications with other important things going on in our life, It's not a case of trying to save money or anything like that,

Cheers for all the input

witchgirl26 · 29-01-2021 5:52pm

yourdeadwright wrote: »

Just for some context it won't be huge wedding about 105 invited of course we expect some not to be bale to go anyway ,

We are from Dublin and the whole wedding is in the City centre ,

I'm not stupid I do realise Friday would be the "better option" for guest,
Waiting a month doesn't seem like a long time and it really isn't but its just causes us some complications with other important things going on in our life, It's not a case of trying to save money or anything like that,

Cheers for all the input

OP I think most people would understand for a rescheduled wedding that it might not be possible to get a date or day that suits everyone. You need to do what suits you in that sense so if it means not waiting an extra month, then don't. If people don't want to take the extra day off & it's not too far away, sure they can always go home on the Thursday night.

heretothere · 31-01-2021 1:18am

I got married on a Thursday, not in pandemic times. We planned the wedding in 7 months. I have a thing about even dates. There were only 2 dates in 2018 I liked the aesthetic look of one was a Saturday in August and we couldn't get the church, venue, or suppliers we wanted. So went with the Thursday. It was either that or leave it until 2020 until there was another date I liked the look of, thankfully didn't do that!!!

Anyway, I knew people would possibly not be able to come but I was fine with that. In the end vast majority of people invited came. It was mostly family and very close friends.

A woman I worked with at the time said 'oh you choose the cheap date' actually it wasn't any cheaper but that is the impression some people will get. But forget her

Also I have been to Saturday weddings, in Ireland but so far down the back end of no where I still had to take two days off work.

Basically I think choose the date that suits you. As someone said it's an invite not an obligation, I declined a wedding for a work colleague, on a Saturday, I didn't really want to go so I didn't!

cannotlogin · 31-01-2021 6:25pm

Thursday weddings are definitely going to be a thing in 2022. I have 2 invites already. Doesn't bother me in the slightest, a lot of people will have extra annual leave built up anyway and it's not really worth taking until restrictions are lifted.

SillyMangoX · 31-01-2021 9:53pm

Uh oh. Seeing the responses on this is going to be fun for my Tuesday wedding..

I honestly would understand if people can’t get the time off work though. I know the people I care about most will be there no matter what day of the week it is so if some of my further out family or friends can’t make it I wouldn’t hold it against them! Although mine is around mid-term time which also helps!

lazygal · 01-02-2021 7:58am

Just as an aside, people close to you might not be able to go for their own reasons. Sometimes it is not possible to attend. I missed a very close friend's wedding as I was 38 weeks pregnant and under strict instructions to stay close to the hospital due to complications. You can be close friends and family and still be constrained by circumstances.

Wedding on a Thursday

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