Wedding on a Thursday

Cerveza

Thursday because it’s cheaper for them to have it.

Elwood_Blues

Had our wedding on a Thursday. We only had 80 guests at it and was a civil ceremony so everything was done at the venue. Was a great day.
No one had any issue with the Thursday (or at least they didn't say to our faces)
If people don't mind they'll go and if they do they won't. It's your day so sod the rest.

yourdeadwright

Cerveza wrote: »

Thursday because it’s cheaper for them to have it.

It's nothing to do with costs , its availability for the venue ,
The extra months wait just makes some other things in our life a little more awkward and complicated hence the thoughts on doing it on a Thursday about a month prior

eviltwin

Cerveza wrote: »

Thursday because it’s cheaper for them to have it.

It’s a pandemic. People want to get their ducks in a row, most engaged couples I know are thinking beyond the party to having a wedding while they or close family are well enough to attend. Stuff that wouldn’t have to be on their minds only for a pandemic. Cut them some slack. Personally, if I was single, I’d be getting a wedding ASAP regardless of the day or time, I’d want to have my legal affairs in order just in case. If someone gets upset or put out or, god forbid, inconvenienced, they can stay home and bitch about it from their sofa.

witchgirl26

Normally not a fan of Thursday weddings for all the reasons people have mentioned but if it's a rescheduled coz of Covid-19 wedding then I'm actually fine with it. The couple is most likely dealing with a huge amount of stress and have chosen their venue and through no fault of their own can no longer have either the date they picked or the day of their choosing.

A friend of mine is getting married on a Thursday next year. Not rescheduled - they picked that day. Not going to lie, it has annoyed me a little as it does mean taking 2 days leave & sorting out someone to collect our child from creche on the Thursday and either mind him on the Friday or drop him to creche. While I can understand that people are on a budget etc it doesn't make it less annoying for some of the guests.

Spanish Eyes

Thank God that weddings are not the be all and end all of other people's lives right now.

I guarantee that many guests would love to bail out, and some/many do, and many more will too. Anyway minimal guests is the rule for a long time to come anyway.

qwerty13

witchgirl26 wrote: »

Normally not a fan of Thursday weddings for all the reasons people have mentioned but if it's a rescheduled coz of Covid-19 wedding then I'm actually fine with it. The couple is most likely dealing with a huge amount of stress and have chosen their venue and through no fault of their own can no longer have either the date they picked or the day of their choosing.

A friend of mine is getting married on a Thursday next year. Not rescheduled - they picked that day. Not going to lie, it has annoyed me a little as it does mean taking 2 days leave & sorting out someone to collect our child from creche on the Thursday and either mind him on the Friday or drop him to creche. While I can understand that people are on a budget etc it doesn't make it less annoying for some of the guests.

Agree completely.

I used not to think anything of Thu weddings, until I had a lot to go to over 2 years. So 2 days leave for each one. And I now work for an American company where they don’t give great hols. So 10% of my leave per wedding unless it’s on a Friday or weekend - that’s what made me stop accepting invites on a weekday other than Friday. My holiday days are precious, and I’m not taking 2 days each for a few weddings per year.

So I decline any invite that isn’t a Friday or Saturday, unless for very very close family or friends.

Spanish Eyes

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

Thank God that weddings are not the be all and end all of other people's lives right now.

I guarantee that many guests would love to bail out, and some/many do, and many more will too. Anyway minimal guests is the rule for a long time to come anyway.

The day a couple gets married is very important and meaningful for them regardless or Covid.
There have always been people who would choose not to go. That's normal. It isn't an obligation and you have a choice. Restrictions of some level will be in place this year but next year the landscape will be very different I think.

PhilOssophy

I don't envy you OP.
Some people will complain about your wedding even if it is 5 minutes away.
If I was you, I'd make the call based on
1. If a lot of people have to travel a big distance to the wedding (therefore need to take 2 days leave)
2. The age group of your audience (people with children, etc will probably leave before midnight to let babysitters, etc off duty if they have relied on family members who might not be available the next day - better chance they'll be able to mind them on Saturday/Sunday morning!)
3. If you are just having family and a very small few close friends (family are likely to be more accommodating!)

On the whole, I'd personally wait until a Friday/Saturday was available if people in general have to travel any sort of long distance. If you are OK with a number of polite "sorry, Thursday doesn't suit" responses (a friend of mine had that) then work away for Thursday.

But people are unlikely to be keen to give up nearly 10% of their annual leave for your day.

eviltwin

Deleted User wrote: »

The day a couple gets married is very important and meaningful for them regardless or Covid.
There have always been people who would choose not to go. That's normal. It isn't an obligation and you have a choice. Restrictions of some level will be in place this year but next year the landscape will be very different I think.

But it doesn’t really matter to anyone else. More so now. I’m sure most people aren’t as invested in the arrangements of a wedding a year away as some couples think they are. Most people can’t really see beyond the next few weeks/months

eviltwin

eviltwin wrote: »

But it doesn’t really matter to anyone else. More so now. I’m sure most people aren’t as invested in the arrangements of a wedding a year away as some couples think they are. Most people can’t really see beyond the next few weeks/months

The people who ot matters the most to are the couple getting married. That other poster wrote that "it wasn't the be all and end all".
Of course those invited are not invested, especially during these times.

Sunny Dayz

I think people are going to have to get used to the fact that there will be more weekday weddings in the next few years. Many people who were booked to get married last year or this year have possibly pushed the date out to 2022. There's only so many celebrants and venues available for weddings. Saturday's will go first closely followed by Fridays and there's only 7 days in a week (not sure if you can marry on a Sunday?).

For me if it's a family member or good friend I would go whatever day of the week it was. For a cousin or anyone else not as close, it would probably depend on if it was a local wedding.

My bro in law had his wedding on a Wednesday in the summer (a few years ago). We all booked the week off work, booked houses in the area and made a week of it and it was brilliant, they actually had a really good attendance at their wedding because so many of the guests were local, and those who weren't local chose to make a little break out of it.

woodchuck

Sunny Dayz wrote: »

I think people are going to have to get used to the fact that there will be more weekday weddings in the next few years. Many people who were booked to get married last year or this year have possibly pushed the date out to 2022. There's only so many celebrants and venues available for weddings. Saturday's will go first closely followed by Fridays and there's only 7 days in a week (not sure if you can marry on a Sunday?).

I agree. I think the knock-on effect is that weddings will generally end up being smaller for the next couple of years at least, as people will need to prioritise which weddings they are able to attend, particularly from an annual leave perspective.

Smaller weddings could be the way of the future long-term too. I've never been a fan of big weddings myself anyway. I don't see the need to go to the wedding of a work colleague or a cousin/friend I never see anymore. I think weddings could end up being a much more enjoyable affair if everyone has fewer weddings to attend overall and it's for someone they're genuinely close to. It could really be something to look forward to instead of "Uh, we've another wedding this weekend... number 6 this year is it? Who is it this time again?".

eviltwin

I’m quite precious about my annual leave but if it’s a weekday wedding for a friend and will be somewhat of a friends reunion I’d see that as a good use of my time.

yourdeadwright

Just for some context it won't be huge wedding about 105 invited of course we expect some not to be able to go anyway ,

We are from Dublin and the whole wedding is in the City centre ,

I'm not stupid I do realise Friday would be the "better option" for guest,
Waiting a month doesn't seem like a long time and it really isn't but its just causes us some complications with other important things going on in our life, It's not a case of trying to save money or anything like that,

Cheers for all the input

witchgirl26

yourdeadwright wrote: »

Just for some context it won't be huge wedding about 105 invited of course we expect some not to be bale to go anyway ,

We are from Dublin and the whole wedding is in the City centre ,

I'm not stupid I do realise Friday would be the "better option" for guest,
Waiting a month doesn't seem like a long time and it really isn't but its just causes us some complications with other important things going on in our life, It's not a case of trying to save money or anything like that,

Cheers for all the input

OP I think most people would understand for a rescheduled wedding that it might not be possible to get a date or day that suits everyone. You need to do what suits you in that sense so if it means not waiting an extra month, then don't. If people don't want to take the extra day off & it's not too far away, sure they can always go home on the Thursday night.

heretothere

I got married on a Thursday, not in pandemic times. We planned the wedding in 7 months. I have a thing about even dates. There were only 2 dates in 2018 I liked the aesthetic look of one was a Saturday in August and we couldn't get the church, venue, or suppliers we wanted. So went with the Thursday. It was either that or leave it until 2020 until there was another date I liked the look of, thankfully didn't do that!!!

Anyway, I knew people would possibly not be able to come but I was fine with that. In the end vast majority of people invited came. It was mostly family and very close friends.

A woman I worked with at the time said 'oh you choose the cheap date' actually it wasn't any cheaper but that is the impression some people will get. But forget her

Also I have been to Saturday weddings, in Ireland but so far down the back end of no where I still had to take two days off work.

Basically I think choose the date that suits you. As someone said it's an invite not an obligation, I declined a wedding for a work colleague, on a Saturday, I didn't really want to go so I didn't!

cannotlogin

Thursday weddings are definitely going to be a thing in 2022. I have 2 invites already. Doesn't bother me in the slightest, a lot of people will have extra annual leave built up anyway and it's not really worth taking until restrictions are lifted.

SillyMangoX

Uh oh. Seeing the responses on this is going to be fun for my Tuesday wedding..

I honestly would understand if people can’t get the time off work though. I know the people I care about most will be there no matter what day of the week it is so if some of my further out family or friends can’t make it I wouldn’t hold it against them! Although mine is around mid-term time which also helps!

lazygal

Just as an aside, people close to you might not be able to go for their own reasons. Sometimes it is not possible to attend. I missed a very close friend's wedding as I was 38 weeks pregnant and under strict instructions to stay close to the hospital due to complications. You can be close friends and family and still be constrained by circumstances.

suilegorma

Another perspective, I was once at a Thursday wedding where I was very short on holidays. I was able to take a half day on the Thursday & work remotely (albeit very bleary eyed!) on the Friday. This might be more of an option for people in future depending on your guests. I have heard of plenty of teachers who can't attend weekday (including Friday) wedding ceremonies and arrive for the party so I am sure people will do what they can if it's important to them to be there in some way or politely decline.

Afaik church weddings are not that common on a Sunday but can happen, I was at one and it took place later in the day. Also registrar offices won't be open but maybe it's something to be considered by government, I always thought it was strange that it was a M-F only service, maybe the fee could be higher to cover any additional cost or maybe weekend only solemnisers could be hired, I am sure this type of work schedule would suit someone (also think the same re driving testers!)....then there are private solemnisers. And of course you could go down the route of private ceremony and the separate wedding party, we did a blessing at the start of our actual party and did the legal bit in a registry office after.

Best of luck with your decision...I is an exciting time in these strange times.

Wheretonext

Go with what suits you and your partner, you guys are paying for it and not the people who call it a cheap date or give out about taking an extra day of annual leave. Very few friends will turn down an invite just because it involves taking an extra day of annual leave and if they do then there would be a mutual understanding/support that that's ok. As many have said it's an invite not a contractual obligation to show up. I can understand if you have a lot of shift workers or teachers in your friend group it would make it more difficult.

Myself and my OH have been to Wednesday, Thursday, Friday & Saturday weddings and have enjoyed them all and we'll be going to our first Sunday wedding in December. The only time we turned down an invite was when someone invited us the week before their wedding and we had plans.

Best of luck and enjoy the planning it must be great to have something other than Covid going on to distract yourself.

Addle

Not everyone works Monday to Friday.
No one has to stay the night or attend for 2 days.
I do work Monday-Friday, so would prefer not to take days off mid week, but once you’re at the wedding, you forget what day of the week it is and still have the weekend to yourself.
There’ll be a lot more week day weddings in the next couple of years to deal with all the postponed parties.

appledrop

If you have the option of Friday then go with that.

It just usually suits more people especially if people have to get children minded etc and take annual leave.

I actually prefer Fri even more than Saturday because you still have Sunday then to do your own thing at home.

Pink11

SillyMangoX wrote: »

Uh oh. Seeing the responses on this is going to be fun for my Tuesday wedding..

I honestly would understand if people can’t get the time off work though. I know the people I care about most will be there no matter what day of the week it is so if some of my further out family or friends can’t make it I wouldn’t hold it against them! Although mine is around mid-term time which also helps!

I'm also joining the Tuesday club. Not because I want to or to save money - we literally had no option to even get a Thursday. We're a re-schedule.

We feel if it offends people so much they should decline and we would totally understand. We've told our family and friends and unless they are liars pretty much everyone has said 'we don't care what day it is, we'll be there and we understand ye had little choice!'

I do think you'd want to be fairly mean to begrudge us given the circumstances!

SillyMangoX

Pink11 wrote: »

I'm also joining the Tuesday club. Not because I want to or to save money - we literally had no option to even get a Thursday. We're a re-schedule.

We feel if it offends people so much they should decline and we would totally understand. We've told our family and friends and unless they are liars pretty much everyone has said 'we don't care what day it is, we'll be there and we understand ye had little choice!'

I do think you'd want to be fairly mean to begrudge us given the circumstances!

In our case, also not a money saving thing, but we always had a dream of getting married on Halloween. It just happens to fall on a Tuesday in 2023!
At the end of the day, it’s our wedding, we want it to be for us. While we of course want all our guests to have an absolutely magical experience, I would totally understand it not being everyone’s cup of tea.

Pink11

SillyMangoX wrote: »

In our case, also not a money saving thing, but we always had a dream of getting married on Halloween. It just happens to fall on a Tuesday in 2023!
At the end of the day, it’s our wedding, we want it to be for us. While we of course want all our guests to have an absolutely magical experience, I would totally understand it not being everyone’s cup of tea.

I think that's really cool honestly, go for it!

We also got our price list. It's 10p.p more expensive than our August, Saturday 2021 date so it's actually more expensive!

Neyite

The next couple of years will be different, and like most areas of life, weddings will also change a bit from the traditional format due to a rethink after covid. No harm.


Lots of couples who booked a venue and paid a deposit are in the unhappy position of losing a substantial amount of money if they don't accept alternative dates offered by the venue. The principle of not letting the venue have 'free money would make me ensure that I got the service I put the deposit on whatever crap dates they offered.



We never had a traditional venue that don't often do weddings anyway so ours was easy and free to reschedule. It still remains to be seen whether our 2021 plan can go ahead or not but I'm not going to worry about that until the end of April when hopefully things might be clearer vaccine-wise.

lazygal

In some ways I'd love a covid wedding. You'll only have to invite people you want there. Declines won't be a big deal because we know we all have slightly mad lives right now. I'd do so many things differently compared to the wedding we had 10 years ago. I know a few couples who just went to the registry office with two witnesses and now aren't going to bother with a big party because there's no point after being married for months (their words).

Summer2020

I was at a Thursday wedding before. What I ended up doing was taking it easy on the drink and leaving at 00:30 so as not to take the Friday as leave. You could well find a lot leaving early to do the same.