Stupidest thing you've overheard?

Frank Grimes · 08-11-2015 10:26pm

bodhrandude wrote: »

Someone already mentioned this. Post #137 Dard23 :pac:

I'm not making it up or copying from another post (I actually didn't read the post you're referring to). I have little doubt it wasn't/isn't a unique conversation either, so others have most certainly heard versions of what I heard.

The Sidewards Man · 08-11-2015 10:27pm

Mods are on big wages.

Omackeral · 08-11-2015 10:43pm

Myself and a girl I was going out with a few years back were planning on taking a city break in and around Easter a good while back. She worked Mon-Fri and I work shift work so I gave her my work diary and told her to pick out any weekend that suited her and I was off. She's flicking through and next thing she says to me is ''Oh look, Good Friday falls on a Wednesday this year''.

cantdecide · 08-11-2015 10:44pm

I work doing admin work where customer's fill out applications involving making declarations about their health and their fitness to drive.

When we were training, we were being talked through the forms and came to eyesight questions. One is 'Any issues affecting your peripheral vision?' and the next is 'Total loss loss of sight in one eye?'. A girl in the training class blurted out 'Shouldn't there be a question about total loss of sight in both eyes too?'.

She kind of twigged what she was saying just about at the end of the sentence. It was awkward for all concerned.

petrolcan · 08-11-2015 10:46pm

Walking through Derry with my OH, the first time she'd been to Ireland.

Pass an AA tourist sign that said 'Famine 150'

I suggest that it might be worth a look and she replies "I know all about Ethiopia"

Badly Drunk Boy · 08-11-2015 10:49pm

Tasden wrote: »

Wow I wasn't aware of that. Thought it was all just symbolic for everybody. Learn something new every day

Yep, that's why coeliacs can take the communion. There is no longer any gluten in the wafer. (Bad news for vegetarians.) And the priest can't be done for drunken driving because it's the blood of Christ he's been drinking, not wine.

WoollyWoman · 08-11-2015 10:56pm

Not exactly stupid but I was in Heatons recently and there was an old woman behind me in the queue who was picking out a chocolate bar and said to her friend in a serious way, "You may get one of those Cadbury Fruit and Nuts because they're going to be taking the nuts out of them soon".
It made me laugh the way she said it :-)

Youngblood.III · 08-11-2015 10:59pm

A girl....I can't believe Titanic is real

BrokenArrows · 08-11-2015 10:59pm

Landed in Heathrow tonight and as I was walking towards the passport control where they have signs for EU Passports or All Other Passports. I overheard two english lads. One said "what's an EU passport?" The other said he didn't know.
Two guys in their mid 30's. Wtf.

Berns · 08-11-2015 11:00pm

Was on local train up to Belfast one day, am up North like, overheard some guy tellin his mate the republic has nukes ðŸ˜‹think submarines was mentioned too but dunno if meant nuke subs ðŸ˜ž hadda get off for my stop before heard more.

Quazzie · 08-11-2015 11:03pm

razor8 wrote: »

Remember years ago a girl brings her friend over to a country lad at a teenage disco and asks "will you shift my friend?" His reply "no problem, where do you want me to put her"

He still gets reminded of it!

I was the opposite. I'm from the country and when I was 13, after an accident I ended up in Crumlin in ICU. I recovered after a week and was eventually transferred out to the main wards. On the first day a girl came up to me and said "We've been looking at you in the ICU, would ya meet my friend Tracey?"

"Sure" says I, a bit baffled as to why I was being asked so formally. She was even more baffled though when after coming in to see me, after 20 minutes I still hadn't tried to kiss her.

It was a few months later before I realised that "meet" in Dublin means more than just meeting someone

collywobble7 · 08-11-2015 11:07pm

My mates girlfriend once asked why we called one of the lads P. M. We explained they were his initials... Oh she said, what are mine?

arayess · 08-11-2015 11:16pm

tayto lover wrote: »

Two girls taking aloud in the bus depot in Dundalk.

1." I see you got your new boots."
2. "Yeah, I tried 4 shops looking for them."
1. "Where did you get them?"
2. "In the last one."

I got up and rushed out before bursting into a mad bout of laughing.

you might think that is stupid......
but

my mate's wife went to london to buy her wedding dress ...spent weekend shopping, browsing and trying on dresses in a multitude of shops.
she bought the very first dress she tried on.

desbrook · 08-11-2015 11:23pm

Two wans walking from home from Xmas mass back in the 90's :

Girl A : Michael Collins is de telly tonight !

Girl B : Who's he fighten ?

Girl A : De Brits of courst !

Took a while for girl B to see how Michael Collins pro Treaty leader during the Civil War WASN'T Steve Collins Irish boxer !

Wanderer78 · 08-11-2015 11:24pm

some people really shouldnt be left out of the womb

Aenaes · 08-11-2015 11:29pm

Wanderer78 wrote: »

some people really shouldnt be left out of the womb

Not sure if remark or stupid thing you've heard.

mynameis905 · 08-11-2015 11:39pm

gramar wrote: »

I was in the back row on a flight last week. Opposite were two girls and one empty seat. A couple of rows ahead there were 3 empty seats together.
One suggested moving there as there were 3 free seats. The other agreed and up they both got and moved.

People can get very weird about seating on planes. I went on holiday a few years ago with the girl I was seeing at the time. I forget the exact seat numbers but our assigned seats were something like 52A & 52B, one window seat and one middle row seat. We made a slight mistake and sat down in 53A & B.

Just before take off the couple in front of us realised that they were one row further ahead than their assigned seats and after lots of head-shaking, tutting and 'Mary I think these chancers are after taking our seats' insisted that we change seats with them while the air hostesses were right in the middle of the safety instructions. I had to bite my tongue to stop myself asking them what difference it made. Fúcking idiots started clapping after we landed too.

09-11-2015 12:16am

mynameis905 wrote: »

People can get very weird about seating on planes. I went on holiday a few years ago with the girl I was seeing at the time. I forget the exact seat numbers but our assigned seats were something like 52A & 52B, one window seat and one middle row seat. We made a slight mistake and sat down in 53A & B.

Just before take off the couple in front of us realised that they were one row further ahead than their assigned seats and after lots of head-shaking, tutting and 'Mary I think these chancers are after taking our seats' insisted that we change seats with them while the air hostesses were right in the middle of the safety instructions. I had to bite my tongue to stop myself asking them what difference it made. Fúcking idiots started clapping after we landed too.

The staff on the planes do get fussy about people sitting in the right seats
Maybe it's in case they die or something

discus · 09-11-2015 12:22am

bluewolf wrote: »

The staff on the planes do get fussy about people sitting in the right seats
Maybe it's in case they die or something

No that's what a lot of people think, but no air accident that kills a good portion of the passengers to an unidentifiable degree will have them remaining seated in their chairs

bridgettedon · 09-11-2015 12:22am

This happened when I was a child. I was playing soccer with a few friends. We set up the goals and I was a goalie. One friend kicked the ball outside the goalposts and insisted she had scored. She wouldn't believe that she was wrong. What the fcuk did she think the posts were for?

09-11-2015 12:23am

discus wrote: »

No that's what a lot of people think, but no air accident that kills a good portion of the passengers to an unidentifiable degree will have them remaining seated in their chairs

Oh yeah
duh me

I duno then but they do get fussy...

rustyf81 · 09-11-2015 12:32am

In the post office and I had two women in the queue behind me.one woman telling the other that she got a text to say her niece had a little girl.
Woman 1: ahhh, I'm delighted for Mary and Tom. Beauuuriful new baby girl. What did they call her?
Woman 2: hang on a sec, its on my phone....baby girl, Iv-on-eee, born today at 4 . Everyone well.
Woman1. Iv-on-eee....gorgeous. How do you spell that?
woman 2: Y-v-o-n-n-e

La Fenetre · 09-11-2015 12:38am

mynameis905 wrote: »

People can get very weird about seating on planes. I went on holiday a few years ago with the girl I was seeing at the time. I forget the exact seat numbers but our assigned seats were something like 52A & 52B, one window seat and one middle row seat. We made a slight mistake and sat down in 53A & B.

Just before take off the couple in front of us realised that they were one row further ahead than their assigned seats and after lots of head-shaking, tutting and 'Mary I think these chancers are after taking our seats' insisted that we change seats with them while the air hostesses were right in the middle of the safety instructions. I had to bite my tongue to stop myself asking them what difference it made. Fúcking idiots started clapping after we landed too.

I usually just quietly inform the staff and they soon turf them out of it.
On the very rare occasion I find myself accidentally sitting in someone else's seat I just move.
Why do some people sit in someone else's seat knowingly ?
That leaves other people then having to take someone else's seat and so on ?
I've often wondered why not just get up and sit in your own seat ?

Senna · 09-11-2015 1:01am

I could write a whole book just from what my wife's say.
My favourite is the time she went to get her car washed. Sent her sister in to buy the ticket for the drive through wash, was just about to enter the code and says "I can't use this my cars black not silver".
The ticket said "Silver Wash"

Valentina · 09-11-2015 3:43am

Putting bets on horses and a friend asked if 'each way' meant that the horse goes up the finish line then turns around and comes back

pebbles21 · 09-11-2015 4:46am

New guy in work from India was asked did he want to go for a drink one Friday evening

"No thank you...I'm not thirsty" Was his answer!

Samaris · 09-11-2015 5:11am

Not overheard myself, and may indeed be an urban legend, but in much the same way as the Titanic one, there was a yarn going about of two girls coming out of the cinema when Passion of the Christ was being shown, one of them looking thoroughly distressed and exclaiming "I didn't know he died in the end!"

I am weirdly blank on things I've overheard myself, and I know I've heard some glorious ones, so I guess I'll have to leave it at that until my brain kicks in again.

09-11-2015 5:13am

why is it stupid that 2 girls moved to free seats when a wierdo was staring at them from across the aisle.

Clampdown · 09-11-2015 5:53am

My mother complained to my sister to stop changing the Google logo because she likes the normal one, on one of those days when they change it to a Google doodle graphic for Mozart's bday etc.

In the US, when I worked in the SPCA and went to college part time I told a girl in my class where I worked (up until this point it had served as an excellent icebreaker)

She said it must be really fun and I was like 'Not really, you clean up poop all day, it's really loud all the time with the barking and if the animals dont get adopted after a while you have to put them to sleep which is pretty sad.'

'Yeah, but if they can't get adopted I guess it's the best thing you can do because they must get crazy being locked in cages all the time.'

'That's true, when we have to do that, it is usually for the best.'

'So... How do you wake them up?'

She thought putting them to sleep meant we just put them into a state similar to hibernation until someone comes in and decides to adopt them and we wake them up then. After I explained it to her, she looked at me in horror, 'You kill puppies!'

Next semester I just said I worked at the post office.

mynameis905 · 09-11-2015 7:08am

La Fenetre wrote: »

I usually just quietly inform the staff and they soon turf them out of it.
On the very rare occasion I find myself accidentally sitting in someone else's seat I just move.
Why do some people sit in someone else's seat knowingly ?
That leaves other people then having to take someone else's seat and so on ?
I've often wondered why not just get up and sit in your own seat ?

Same two seats just one row ahead.

Kev W · 09-11-2015 7:26am

discus wrote: »

No that's what a lot of people think, but no air accident that kills a good portion of the passengers to an unidentifiable degree will have them remaining seated in their chairs

You can die on a plane without taking the whole plane with you!

Badly Drunk Boy · 09-11-2015 8:35am

bluewolf wrote: »

The staff on the planes do get fussy about people sitting in the right seats
Maybe it's in case they die or something

At that stage it's a bit too late to be worrying about your seating! :pac:

But seriously, I've been asked to move seat a couple of times by cabin crew, mainly due to my long legs not fitting in properly, so they'd suggest to me to move for my comfort but mainly so I don't trip up people with my legs sprawling out into the aisles.

brian_7070 · 13-11-2015 10:44am

Back in the pre internet days when you had to check the football results on teletext a friend of mine asked a us "what does the HT stand for High Tackle is it?"

BizzyC · 13-11-2015 12:06pm

One night at dinner with some co-workers I was telling a funny story I had read online which goes basically:
Professor at uni talking about the amount of data contained in sperm (1 sperm holds 1,000s of GB's)
A girl in the class declares "I must be a genius!" and people laugh at her before she realises what she's said and gets embarrassed.

I had got to the point in the story about the amount of data in sperm, and before getting to the punchline a girl at the table declares "I must be a genius!"...couldn't have gone any better...

RiderOnTheStorm · 13-11-2015 1:11pm

My best-bud (a true son of P.R. of Cork) a few years ago told me that his dad often worked as a taxi driver, and had a great story about picking up a couple of Kerry fellas from the train station, and they wanted to go to watch the GAA in Pairc Ui Choimhe (Kerry was playing Cork). There was no chat along the way, and the 2 fellas were clearly watching the meter go up & up, with an occasional "ooohhh" when it rolled up a pound. When they got to the stadium, the fare read something like 7.80 .... my mates dad told the guys "that will be 8 quid so boys" ..... to which one replied "it says 7.80, so 7.80 is all you will get out of me!" .... and the other says "yeah, and 7.80 is all you will get out of me too!"

...my mates dad didnt correct them....

Joe prim · 13-11-2015 2:00pm

bridgettedon wrote: »

This happened when I was a child. I was playing soccer with a few friends. We set up the goals and I was a goalie. One friend kicked the ball outside the goalposts and insisted she had scored. She wouldn't believe that she was wrong. What the fcuk did she think the posts were for?

It was so a goal, so it was!

elekid · 13-11-2015 3:44pm

I heard one recently that wasn't that bad but made me smile at the time.

On the bus home from work there was a young woman sitting near me who was obviously on the phone to her father helping him troubleshoot an issue he was having with his TV or Bluray player. She kept talking about something called a Homdee which I couldn't understand. "Is the Homdee in, check the Homdee now" etc.

She eventually seemed to solve the problem for him and started talking him through reconnecting everything "Ok, now put the other end of the Homdee into the Homdee port, that's the one that says HMDI on it"

lazza14 · 13-11-2015 3:53pm

Skylinehead wrote: »

We had a Spanish lad on our team say that, proper tech guy as well. Still laughed :pac:

In fairness it's just the way it's pronounced there, the french say weefee too..

lazza14 · 13-11-2015 4:01pm

In 6th class in school, a question on our Geography homework was "Which hemisphere of the Earth has the most people?" ...

Most kids answered the north, but the teacher and a few others said No, its the southern hemisphere with China there and all ...

ermmmm ... "Sir, I think China might be in the northern hemisphere ....", "Oh really" he says, "well lets get the globe over to just see how much of it is in the northern hemisphere - Parker , get me the globe ! " .

"Parker" gets the globe .... epic fail.

Hyzepher · 13-11-2015 6:13pm

I was on the LUAS one day when it broke down just as it left one of the stations. After a few minutes two ladies decided to get off as the one behind was coming and they had waited long enough for this one to start again - after all they didn't want to be late so they got onto that one instead

cython · 13-11-2015 6:33pm

Does some of the rubbish being spouted by the protesters from the video over in the Garda baton thread count?

Aenaes · 13-11-2015 7:35pm

Guy: "I'm just back from the hospital, I'm like a zombie now. I told a woman up there too, she was from Africa. I'm like a zombie, I told her, no offence."

I'm wondering what he thinks zombies are..

Canard · 13-11-2015 9:30pm

A few years ago we were in Denny's with my dad. The waitress asked him (obviously with an American accent) if he wanted the "soup or salad" with his meal. He heard "super salad" and he was like "oh cool yeah ill take one of those

" and me and my sister couldn't stop laughing for a good 20 minutes after. It took him a good while to realize his mistake and he kept telling us to stop laughing and that "it wasnt that funny cmon :mad: " but oh my god it was priceless

lazza14 · 15-11-2015 1:15am

On the DART (years ago, during the Michael Jackson trial)

some girl (20s) : "I tink dat Michael Jackson is innocent, cos like he's bleedin' rich, if he likes men he could have any gay bloke he wanted, he wouldn't need to abuse kids" ....

I really wanted to say by that logic myself as a straight man would want to molest 8 year old girls !!! :S ... didn't bother, would have been lost on her

Stupidest thing you've overheard?

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