What would you have done?

popa smurf · 29-11-2020 3:19pm #1

Was out early this morning had to drive young lad to work and I was passing through our local town and I spotted this young one, she was legless on her own and looked very disoriented, my first thought was to stop and try to get her home safely as I have a young daughter myself. But than I said fucck better keep going and not get involved just wondering what would you have done.

vriesmays · 29-11-2020 3:20pm

The exact same.

9db3xj7z41fs5u · 29-11-2020 3:25pm

popa smurf wrote: »

Was out early this morning had to drive young lad to work and I was passing through our local town and I spotted this young one, she was legless on her own and looked very disoriented, my first thought was to stop and try to get her home safely as I have a young daughter myself. But than I said fucck better keep going and not get involved just wondering what would you have done.

I would have done the same.

The other option would have been to call the Gardaí, but I doubt they would come

popa smurf · 29-11-2020 4:47pm

Thanks guys just thinking about it today and how vonrible she was on a cold dark morning and was there anything I should have done.

Kraftwerk · 29-11-2020 5:48pm

I'd have stopped to see if she was OK or needed a lift and called the Gards if she was completely out of it or lost.

dobman88 · 29-11-2020 5:55pm

It's a desperate sad sign of the times when the majority of replies so far say they would have carried on their way and I'm disappointed in myself to say I'd have done the same. Too risky these days of being accused of something and having yourself destroyed.

I would have just rung the Gards and said someone is in a bad way and I cant hang around for them to arrive but I wouldn't have gone near her.

Gardesana Pecher · 29-11-2020 6:00pm

Absolutely would just carry on..even the act of stopping and asking how she is could be taken out of context by her, especially in her state or by passersby.

Samuel T. Cogley · 29-11-2020 6:02pm

I would have rang the local station, so in essence I would have done the same as you.

Kraftwerk · 29-11-2020 6:12pm

What are people afraid of happening if they asked her if she was OK? If she takes it the wrong way or is uncomfortable she'll ignore you or say she's grand or something. She's not going to start blowing a rape whistle at the side of the road because someone asked if she was ok.

More than likely she'd either say she's OK, take the lift or ask to use your phone to call someone to pick her up.

A worse thing would be to carry on, do nothing and hear something happened to her. That'd worry me more than accidentally looking like a perv.

Tig98 · 29-11-2020 6:14pm

No good deed goes unpunished as they say. Very easy for onlookers to misjudge the situation, and hard to shake off aspersions after theyve been cast. I'd have done the same...

Tell me how · 29-11-2020 6:49pm

I would have put my phone on audio record and asked he was she ok or did she need assistance.
If the answers concerned me, I'd have then called the Gardai.

If someone I cared about was in such a situation, I'd like to think someone would be good willed enough to help them.

Kylta · 29-11-2020 11:21pm

I think I would've drove on. Or called the guards.
Its terrible to think that the way society is gone, that you can't do a good deed without the chance off of getting into bother. Then again, my colleague's saying is No good deed goes unpunished.

Kraftwerk · 29-11-2020 11:32pm

Kylta wrote: »

I think I would've drove on. Or called the guards.
Its terrible to think that the way society is gone, that you can't do a good deed without the chance off of getting into bother. Then again, my colleague's saying is No good deed goes unpunished.

Is that the way society has gone? Is there a load of incidents where people have been accused of stuff for trying to help people that I've missed?

Tzardine · 29-11-2020 11:37pm

Absolutely would have driven on too. Unless she was in clear, life threatening danger i would have not stopped. .

Remember what happened to poor Rodney Trotter when he tried to help that drunk woman.

Interesting question, would you have even given a second though if it was a male?

RedXIV · 29-11-2020 11:45pm

If she was actually disorientated, and completely alone, I'd have stopped. Tipsy and making tracks home is different, that's character building

but if I thought she was going to hurt herself getting home or she looking like she was in very bad shape, I'd stop to see if I could help. I know it's generally a risk but I until I get burnt on it, I'll probably stay the same way.

But I'd actually find that if it was a guy, they'd need to be visibly in trouble. double standards I know but that's the way I am

SmartinMartin · 29-11-2020 11:55pm

I really hope my daughter is never in this situation, but if she is I really hope she meets someone more caring than you shower of useless fu¢ks. Yes, I would have stopped to see if that girl needed help.

jmlad2020 · 29-11-2020 11:56pm

It's a hard one as she was highly vulnerable. But the
poor girl and many other young people are walking up and down Ireland's streets on early Sunday mornings "out of it" as well. Indoor gatherings / house parties are still going on where there is plenty of drink and drugs being consumed I can assure you.

But if there were a group of males following her or a highly suspicious scene going on I would be expecting some degree of intervention from myself or anyone else i.e call the Guards etc.

I would have likely ignored the situation as well, knowing what I know of young wans who are out of it. plus I'd be expecting a "**** off ya prick"too.

rapul · 29-11-2020 11:57pm

SmartinMartin wrote: »

I really hope my daughter is never in this situation, but if she is I really hope she meets someone more caring than you shower of useless fu¢ks. Yes, I would have stopped to see if that girl needed help.

Unfortunately it's not so black and white, a random drunk woman or girl, call the cops is the best option but if you get involved no matter how good intentioned it might not play out so well.
Harsh times

Antares35 · 29-11-2020 11:58pm

SmartinMartin wrote: »

I really hope my daughter is never in this situation, but if she is I really hope she meets someone more caring than you shower of useless fu¢ks. Yes, I would have stopped to see if that girl needed help.

I have a daughter too and also hope she never ends up like this, as I'm sure most parents do. If I had a son, I'd advise him not to get involved either, in order to protect himself from false allegations.

29-11-2020 11:59pm

As I have done in the past, I'd stop and make sure they're OK. I couldn't in good conscience just carry on.

Kylta · 30-11-2020 12:03am

Kraftwerk wrote: »

Is that the way society has gone? Is there a load of incidents where people have been accused of stuff for trying to help people that I've missed?

There was an incident in my area a while back, there was this woman in her 20s. Anyway she crying and babbling and well jarred, (it seems she was arguing with her fella). Anyway this guy(who's actually gay). Decided to see if this girl is alright. But along comes this girls fella who sees her talking to the good Samaritan. When the boyfriend starts to mouth off, the girl starts screaming she's being molested by the good Samaritan.
Now this issue could've been a lot worse, because the girlfriend wanted the guards, the boyfriend wanted to fight the good Samaritan. But unknownst to the three participants in the arguement, their were other people watching this action taking place. They intervened and not only put the boyfriend straight, but also called the guards. Now the witnesses saved the good Samaritan. But what if they weren't there. Who would the police have believe?

30-11-2020 12:05am

Kylta wrote: »

Who would the police have believe?

Unless the incident took place in a field in the back of the beyonds they'd check the CCTV.

Silentcorner · 30-11-2020 12:07am

It is awful that we find ourselves in this age where this question is even considered, I'm sure most of us have helped out women for various reasons on the very basis that someone would do the same for our sisters or partners etc.

But let us not forget -

Syl Roche, and elderly man well known in Dublin, posed for a photograph having being asked by a woman he didn't know, she would go on to falsely accuse him of sexual assault (without consequences), the garda file was approved by the DPP and it made into a court and the national news cycle despite the existence of video footage that exonerated him.

A number of perfectly innocent male teachers arrived at work in Carlow last Tuesday morning as per usual, by the end of the day they were being shamed nationally and internationally by politicians, "journalists" and angry feminists as perverts and paedos.

Every man has to ask himself how much risk is he willing to expose himself to in this day and age, I have seen it first hand, I have seen an innocent man who gave up his free time to coach young women be falsely accused of sexual assault.

You made the right call OP, chivalry is thing of the past.

The chan chan man · 30-11-2020 12:08am

“Jasus you’ll never guess, I just saw Tommy down the village trying to get this legless young wan into his van... i always knew there was something about that fella...”

Yep, I’d drive on too.

jmlad2020 · 30-11-2020 12:10am

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Unless the incident took place in a field in the back of the beyonds they'd check the CCTV.

Sounds like it happened away from CCTV pal. Not everywhere is covered by CCTV..

The guards would likely believe the girl, who turned out to be absolute scum. There are too many incidents where lads get blamed for things like this, best to avoid unfortunately.

Kylta · 30-11-2020 12:11am

Deleted User wrote: »

Unless the incident took place in a field in the back of the beyonds they'd check the CCTV.

Actually that's a fair point, but cc/tv has to be working, andfrom what angle you actually look at the camera footage, a lot of cc/tv can be inconclusive at times.

SmartinMartin · 30-11-2020 12:20am

rapul wrote: »

Unfortunately it's not so black and white, a random drunk woman or girl, call the cops is the best option but if you get involved no matter how good intentioned it might not play out so well.
Harsh times

Antares35 wrote: »

I have a daughter too and also hope she never ends up like this, as I'm sure most parents do. If I had a son, I'd advise him not to get involved either, in order to protect himself from false allegations.

Bull****. It is that black and white. If her condition is such that it alarms you enough to think you should stop, you should fu¢kin well stop. Dealing with what happens next is up to you, when it happens, but this opt-out crap I'm seeing on here is just awful.

pinktoe · 30-11-2020 12:20am

Most cars have dash cams at this stage. Pull in behind her and ask if you can call someone for her. Let her wait in your car alone while someone picks her. You wait at front of the car on camera.

Better than hearing her getting attacked or killed by another motorist.

If an allegation is made against you take legal action

rapul · 30-11-2020 12:21am

SmartinMartin wrote: »

Bull****. It is that black and white. If her condition is such that it alarms you enough to think you should stop, you should fu¢kin well stop. Dealing with what happens next is up to you, when it happens, but this opt-out crap I'm seeing on here is just awful.

I call bull**** on your post and calm down there, we are all entitled to our own opinions

SmartinMartin · 30-11-2020 12:27am

Call all you like, it just might cover your cowardly attitude.

rapul · 30-11-2020 12:33am

SmartinMartin wrote: »

SNIP

Yup, speak for yourself

Silentcorner · 30-11-2020 12:33am

SmartinMartin wrote: »

Bull****. It is that black and white. If her condition is such that it alarms you enough to think you should stop, you should fu¢kin well stop. Dealing with what happens next is up to you, when it happens, but this opt-out crap I'm seeing on here is just awful.

5 years ago this wouldn't even have been made a thread...helping a women in need of help is an automatic response most decent men wouldn't even question, it is how most of us were reared.

But a lot has changed in those years and it is not worth the risk for most of us...in fact I'd go so far to advise any man it is irresponsible for any man to help a drunk woman...there was an ad campaign on television not so long ago reinforcing that very thing!!!

SmartinMartin · 30-11-2020 12:34am

I don't want anything from you, but if my post makes you think about your civic duty hopefully it just might help someone you come across in the future.

lalababa · 30-11-2020 12:38am

I'd suggest that one would have a cinematic quality camera with a sound man in tow handy in the car for just such a situation ðŸ™„. Just in case you decide to give her a seeing too infront if the young lad, don't you know.

SmartinMartin · 30-11-2020 12:38am

Silentcorner wrote: »

5 years ago this wouldn't even have been made a thread...helping a women in need of help is an automatic response most decent men wouldn't even question, it is how most of us were reared.

But a lot has changed in those years and it is not worth the risk for most of us...in fact I'd go so far to advise any man it is irresponsible for any man to help a drunk woman...there was an ad campaign on television not so long ago reinforcing that very thing!!!

I know what you're saying, but if people just fall in with this train of thought what is going to happen to society? Fu¢k that, keep a sense of decency, look out for others, try and help where you can.

dobman88 · 30-11-2020 12:39am

Silentcorner wrote: »

there was an ad campaign on television not so long ago reinforcing that very thing!!!

It's still on, I saw it last week. Guy picks a drunk girl up from the kerb and the slogan was something like if you see it, report it. No context that he was trying to assault her, just looks like hes trying to help. Why would I stop and try to help and open myself up to that can of worms. As I said previously, it's a desperate sad state of affairs but its the harsh reality of modern times.

30-11-2020 12:42am

Maybe if fathers were half the men they were just a few decades ago, young women wouldn’t be out on their own, drunk and in need of help from strangers.

If you want to point fingers, point them where you should. That’s not a bunch of fellas well wide to the fact that a drunk young one today could well ruin your life as a consequence of your act of chivalry.

Fathers mind your daughters. Leave the rest of us to get on with a clear conscience and an uncomplicated life.

jmlad2020 · 30-11-2020 12:43am

SmartinMartin wrote: »

I know what you're saying, but if people just fall in with this train of thought what is going to happen to society? Fu¢k that, keep a sense of decency, look out for others, try and help where you can.

** Walks past and ignores homeless people on a daily basis and claims the moral highground **

Kraftwerk · 30-11-2020 12:43am

Silentcorner wrote: »

It is awful that we find ourselves in this age where this question is even considered, I'm sure most of us have helped out women for various reasons on the very basis that someone would do the same for our sisters or partners etc.

But let us not forget -

Syl Roche, and elderly man well known in Dublin, posed for a photograph having being asked by a woman he didn't know, she would go on to falsely accuse him of sexual assault (without consequences), the garda file was approved by the DPP and it made into a court and the national news cycle despite the existence of video footage that exonerated him.

A number of perfectly innocent male teachers arrived at work in Carlow last Tuesday morning as per usual, by the end of the day they were being shamed nationally and internationally by politicians, "journalists" and angry feminists as perverts and paedos.

Every man has to ask himself how much risk is he willing to expose himself to in this day and age, I have seen it first hand, I have seen an innocent man who gave up his free time to coach young women be falsely accused of sexual assault.

You made the right call OP, chivalry is thing of the past.

So how do those people avoid those situations or manage to live their lives? Refuse to take a photo with anyone ever again? Quit your job as a teacher for fear of getting accused of something? Never approach a woman in a romantic way? Never help another person ever again?

For every man that was unfortunate enough to get accused of something there's thousands who manage to do these things without issue.

There's some sort of mass hysteria over this stuff where people seem afraid to do anything.

SmartinMartin · 30-11-2020 12:47am

jmlad2020 wrote: »

** Walks past and ignores homeless people on a daily basis and claims the moral highground **

So you know me personally, do you.
What an idiotic post.

MrMusician18 · 30-11-2020 12:57am

Had a similar situation happen to me only it was a young male and he was stumbling along the canal. It was freshers week and this chap had clearly enjoyed a few too many. He'd a fallen over and hurt himself.

I was worried he go into the water, so after sitting him down, I called the guards to come pick him up.

He will probably never thank me for it, but I believe I did him a good turn that night.

Silentcorner · 30-11-2020 12:59am

Kraftwerk wrote: »

So how do those people avoid those situations or manage to live their lives? Refuse to take a photo with anyone ever again? Quit your job as a teacher for fear of getting accused of something? Never approach a woman in a romantic way? Never help another person ever again?

For every man that was unfortunate enough to get accused of something there's thousands who manage to do these things without issue.

There's some sort of mass hysteria over this stuff where people seem afraid to do anything.

I don't have the answers...I'm just pointing out two well documented recent incidents of how innocent men have had their reputations and I'd imagine their own metal well being damaged by today's toxic environment that men need to be conscious of...and one incident I have seen first hand!!!

I think we are doing great damage to a generation of young people who will suffer the consequences in years to come, but today, as I said, every man has to ask himself how much risk he is willing to expose himself to...it is up to him as an individual.

But going anywhere near a strange drunk woman on a street is playing with fire.

Call it an unintended consequence of telling a generation of young women that men are inherently toxic!!

Antares35 · 30-11-2020 1:15am

SmartinMartin wrote: »

Bull****. It is that black and white. If her condition is such that it alarms you enough to think you should stop, you should fu¢kin well stop. Dealing with what happens next is up to you, when it happens, but this opt-out crap I'm seeing on here is just awful.

You're very angry. We are all entitled to our opinions and to make a judgement call as we see fit should we find ourselves in a similar situation.

Regarding the CCTV point being made, it may well exonerate an innocent party, but why should a "good Samaritan" be under a shroud of suspicion until CCTV is viewed and verified etc.? He will essentially be guilty until the CCTV proves he is innocent.

We do live in sad times, that much I agree with and it would be lovely if we could all just casually do our best for each other without having to weigh up the potential consequences. But, we don't live in such times. We have to weigh things up. Sure how often do you see a couple having a fight and roaring at each other and when anyone intervenes the woman usually turn on the person intervening to protect the guy who was pulverising her a minute before?

SmartinMartin · 30-11-2020 1:25am

I'm delighted that anger or happiness or any other feeling can now be determined over t'internet, fair play to you.
I'm amazed that you didn't detect my feeling of disgust at the cowardly attitudes displayed on this thread so far.

MrMusician18 · 30-11-2020 1:29am

This thread has got me thinking further. There was one night they're in April/May, in the midst of the most limiting phase of the first lockdown I was out for an evening run and passed a young woman clearly extremely worse for wear. She was in a party dress and was stumbling over and back across the footpath. My first thought I admit was disgust to see someone flouting the regulations, but then did think maybe I should give her some help. Like the OP, I thought better of it and literally jogged on. There was absolutely no way I was going to intervene. Coming back on my second lap, I noticed that male cyclist did stop to give her help and immediately thought he was brave or foolish.

Then there was another time at Christmas last year walking down Grafton St, I noticed a young homeless woman passed out, seemingly choking on her own vomit. I walked on, but I felt guilty that someone was so abandoned on a busy street and walked back. I called for an ambulance and the dispatcher asked me to touch her, to check for breathing and I couldn't do it, nor would any of the men or women that had gathered. She came around eventually though and told me and indeed everyone else to **** off.

Sometimes reluctance to help comes from not wanting to get involved, sometimes it's the bystander effect. And sometimes it for your own protection.

Kraftwerk · 30-11-2020 1:44am

Silentcorner wrote: »

I don't have the answers...I'm just pointing out two well documented recent incidents of how innocent men have had their reputations and I'd imagine their own metal well being damaged by today's toxic environment that men need to be conscious of...and one incident I have seen first hand!!!

I think we are doing great damage to a generation of young people who will suffer the consequences in years to come, but today, as I said, every man has to ask himself how much risk he is willing to expose himself to...it is up to him as an individual.

But going anywhere near a strange drunk woman on a street is playing with fire.

Call it an unintended consequence of telling a generation of young women that men are inherently toxic!!

The answer is you don't live in a bubble afraid to interact with other people. You carry on and live your life because the chances of this stuff actually happening to you are extremely slim. It's the "white van men are taking children" and "they're stealing all the dogs" thing. A couple of random incidents and all of a sudden everyone is in panic mode afraid to move.

I'm sure there's way more risk in plenty other things you do on a daily basis than the risk of getting publicly branded a pervert for asking a girl if she wants a lift on a ****ty morning.

Antares35 · 30-11-2020 1:51am

SmartinMartin wrote: »

I'm delighted that anger or happiness or any other feeling can now be determined over t'internet, fair play to you.
I'm amazed that you didn't detect my feeling of disgust at the cowardly attitudes displayed on this thread so far.

Use of profanities tends to give it away

Silentcorner · 30-11-2020 1:53am

Kraftwerk wrote: »

The answer is you don't live in a bubble afraid to interact with other people. You carry on and live your life because the chances of this stuff actually happening to you are extremely slim. It's the "white van men are taking children" and "they're stealing all the dogs" thing. A couple of random incidents and all of a sudden everyone is in panic mode afraid to move.

I'm sure there's way more risk in plenty other things you do on a daily basis than the risk of getting publicly branded a pervert for asking a girl if she wants a lift on a ****ty morning.

Which is why I mentioned the two recent and very public incidents...this is not a figment of anyone's imagination.

You'd want to be blind or willfully ignorant not to notice the noxious message being pumped into women that men are toxic beings that pose a risk...as pointed out already, they are running ads on tv to the same effect!!!

Men are not creating any hysteria, they are quiet rightly reacting to it!!!!

Approaching a drunk young women on a street is madness...are you going to lay a hand on her if she needs physical assistance?

danois · 30-11-2020 1:58am

I think if you are ever worried someone is in trouble you need to help. You also need to cover yourself as it’s so easy for something to get misconstrued or for someone to downright lie. I would always check on them and see can I help but I would also do it with my phone on record so as to cover myself. Yes it’s crap that you need to think to do that but it’s normal to worry about covering your own arse these days. It’s not a reason to ignore someone in need tho.

30-11-2020 2:05am

I get the feeling that the few gung-ho types in here would be the first to call the guards if it was their daughter and they were out looking for her and came across a middle-aged man with her.

SmartinMartin · 30-11-2020 2:06am

Antares35 wrote: »

Use of profanities tends to give it away

Unfortunately I didn't use enough to refer to you.
Jesus Christ people, get involved. Help where it's needed, protect the vulnerable.
If you are too self-centred or afraid to do it how are your children going to learn a sense of community, a sense of worth?.

What would you have done?

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