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11 year old wants iPhone 11

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24

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    #32
    jrosen
    Registered Users Posts: 1,629 ✭✭✭jrosen


    "everyone else has one" I love it when kids use this and generally I always take it with a pinch of but kids with phones are common enough.

    Its a hard one, your ex is completely within his rights to allow her buy the phone just as your totally within your rights to say no. I would urge you to try and come to an agreement. Find some middle ground.

    If your daughter is being bullied then you need to speak to her teacher. Students are generally not allowed phones in school either so you should see what the situation is in your daughters class. She could also be chancing her arm and pretending she is getting teased simply to get herself a new phone. They can be very inventive when they want to be.


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    #33
    Randy Archer
    Registered Users Posts: 859 ✭✭✭Randy Archer


    hero25 wrote: »
    A lot of helpful responses there for poor Snickers!! I think we all agree that an 11 year old doesn't need a Smartphone and in an ideal world, none of our 11 year olds would have one, however its a fact of life that most 11 year olds now do have one: http://www.irishhealth.com/article.html?id=26801
    Having been through similar to what Snickers is now facing, my experience is from the child's perspective it "has to be" an iPhone (especially girls!!) .... who'd be caught dead with an Android! and obviously the newer the model the better!
    Do any of you not remember looking for a Chopper bike or a Calculator watch etc? or even a colour TV !!!
    I think a lot of the responders may not appreciate having pre-teens and the difficulties they can face.
    Having said that I don't agree with they needing an iphone11, it may be possible to negotiate them down to an iphone8? But a phone, sooner or later, is inevitable.
    Advising them, at 11, to take a stance for themselves and be big enough to stand on their own 2 feet ..... well, of course have that conversation.... but it will be a few more years before they're mature enough to be able to fully grasp those principles.
    Best of luck!

    Actually we do remember stuff like that

    Eg football boots : all the cool kids getting Adidas Predator (the originals) while I get stuck with Umbro (the cheaper kind, Umbro is a great boot btw) or the cheaper Diarrora - but, I just took it like a man (and even then, when I started earning money doing odd jobs at 12, I’d vomit at the idea of spending on something that was just a brand - although Adidas gear is top quality ,and more than a brand lol )

    Of course, da Younger brother , oh no, want he wanted ,he got

    Oh, those chats with mammy ,before Christmas ... when you don’t believe in Santa , age 10, asked to sacrifice the chance to get a game boy ,because the brother, again, (you see a pattern) wanted the game gear and some other stuff ....

    😂

    Most of us went through the horrors of potential school shunnings, eg cool Adidas 3 stripe tracksuit bottoms vs Penny’s /Dunne’s Stores 4 stripe - (actually I’d dodged that by just going unbranded )

    Likewise ,stuck on a hand me down bmx (When they weren’t as cool ) for 3 years before I had my own money to get the mountain bike I wanted (Again, mammy had to deal with the brother’s demands) . I got laughed at , but I didn’t care, (I was weird like that, never cared what sheep think) (to be honest, the bike was in good Knick and kinda still cool )


    Seriously most of us have been there ! Especially kids from the 1980s ! We know what it’s like. Try being the eldest or the in between sibling who get “neglected” because another sibling is more demanding and wants everything

    700 quid for a phone, an item that can break within days, is no joke. Least with a cool chopper it can last for years and it actually gets you out in the air etc .

    Someone wisely suggested going to the Principal if there’s bullying over this .

    Calculator watch, god I remember those, and the watch that could change tv channels ..Even then i use to think those people were dorks

    Nothing wrong with Android either (I know what you said and it’s context ) but meh, girls ....and their notions ....


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    #34
    Doctors room ghost
    Registered Users Posts: 4,805 ✭✭✭Doctors room ghost


    She’d be far better spend a fraction of the 700 on joining the local boxing club and after a few months there she will have no bother with bullies and she will be physically fit aswell.
    Win win.


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    #35
    Randy Archer
    Registered Users Posts: 859 ✭✭✭Randy Archer


    Doctors room ghost wrote: »
    She’d be far better spend a fraction of the 700 on joining the local boxing club and after a few months there she will have no bother with bullies and she will be physically fit aswell.
    Win win.

    Well said . She might even earn money being hired as the school body guard for the popular girl in the school ��


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    #36
    1hnr79jr65
    Registered Users Posts: 916 ✭✭✭1hnr79jr65


    I would totally be against giving an 11 year old a smart phone, let alone an iphone 11. Cost aside, if your child is being bullied for not having and iphone 11, imagine what will happen whey they do eventually get it. Still being bullied and because your child is targeted by bullies, now an easy mark for theft of same iphone.

    There needs to be a limit on these things and understand its a tough spot with the ex, i would suggest putting that money into something more useful which cant be take out of the house easily, will benefit your child in their development/enjoyment and as another user suggested some self defense classes.

    These classes are not just to kicking the crap out of a bully but instill some discipline and more importantly, confidence in your child, this would stand to them in life.


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    #37
    snickers
    Registered Users Posts: 159 ✭✭snickers


    BorneTobyWilde wrote: »
    The new iphone SE would be a compromise. That's newer than the iphone 11 and is packed with everything the 11 has. Plus it's a decent price.

    I have been told the se is to small .


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    #38
    c.p.w.g.w
    Registered Users Posts: 4,994 ✭✭✭c.p.w.g.w


    Doctors room ghost wrote: »
    She’d be far better spend a fraction of the 700 on joining the local boxing club and after a few months there she will have no bother with bullies and she will be physically fit aswell.
    Win win.

    That will probably get her expelled...schools only care about physical bullying from my experience


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    #39
    jaxxx
    Registered Users Posts: 3,230 ✭✭✭jaxxx


    The fact that people have to stop and think about this is actually insane. Some serious supposed "adults" need an even more serious reality check to even consider buying such a phone for their kid, let alone going out and actually buying one. Can get perfectly good smartphones that do exactly the same thing as any iPhone for way less than even a quarter of that price! Jesus. Even then, I'm personally of the opinion that smartphones shouldn't be allowed for anyone before turning 18.

    Not a go at you op btw, just in general.


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    #40
    cruizer101
    Registered Users Posts: 3,205 ✭✭✭cruizer101


    Randy Archer wrote: »
    Seriously most of us have been there ! Especially kids from the 1980s ! We know what it’s like. Try being the eldest or the in between sibling who get “neglected” because another sibling is more demanding and wants everything

    700 quid for a phone, an item that can break within days, is no joke. Least with a cool chopper it can last for years and it actually gets you out in the air etc .

    I don't know I was youngest and it was more a case of getting hand me downs that being spoiled.
    Don't think it is specific to any generation, there is always stuff that the better off kids got that the majority of the rest didn't.

    I think the big difference is as you say a decent bike would last you years and the worst you could do was buckle a wheel, similarly football boots aren't going to break if you drop them. A games console wouldn't be outside a house. Even the likes of a gameboy which might be most comparable was nowhere near as relatively expensive and was far more durable.

    There is no way all her class have them either, 'all my friends have one' line has been used for generations.

    I think it is madness for a kid to have anything worth that much, I've owned cars worth less.


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    #41
    c.p.w.g.w
    Registered Users Posts: 4,994 ✭✭✭c.p.w.g.w


    jaxxx wrote: »
    The fact that people have to stop and think about this is actually insane. Some serious supposed "adults" need an even more serious reality check to even consider buying such a phone for their kid, let alone going out and actually buying one. Can get perfectly good smartphones that do exactly the same thing as any iPhone for way less than even a quarter of that price! Jesus. Even then, I'm personally of the opinion that smartphones shouldn't be allowed for anyone before turning 18.

    Not a go at you op btw, just in general.

    The only justification i can see for the high end smartphones is the camera...But in reality not many folks actually use the camera enough to justify to price


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    #42
    One eyed Jack
    Registered Users Posts: 23,695 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    c.p.w.g.w wrote: »
    The only justification i can see for the high end smartphones is the camera...But in reality not many folks actually use the camera enough to justify to price


    They don’t call teenagers nowadays the “Snapchat generation” for nothing :pac:

    I can see too where an earlier poster was coming from suggesting an iPhone SE 2, and I’m not going to get into tech specs and all the rest of it, phone has already been ruled out as too small (personally I’d have to agree), but the battery life doesn’t seem great on them either.

    A second hand iPhone 7 Plus (I have one myself) would have the same OS (13.4) as an iPhone 11 and dual camera setup, might be worth suggesting that instead.

    Though that’s probably not going to be good enough to convince the OP’s daughter when what she wants is an iPhone 11.


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    #43
    mvl
    Registered Users Posts: 1,229 ✭✭✭mvl


    cruizer101 wrote: »
    I think it is madness for a kid to have anything worth that much, I've owned cars worth less.

    To be clear, this is not a girl thing, its a reflection of the priorities of "average class income or lower" parents who allow it. I am quite biased on this subject too, tbh.

    - May even be an issue with the primary school allowing this culture too. So I would defo talk to the school Principal about it.


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    #44
    One eyed Jack
    Registered Users Posts: 23,695 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    mvl wrote: »
    To be clear, this is not a girl thing, its a reflection of the priorities of "average class or lower" parents who allow it. I am quite biased on this subject too, tbh.

    - May even be an issue with the primary school allowing this culture too. So I would defo talk to the school Principal about it.


    I don’t think so, but to be fair to you at least you admit you’re biased on the subject.


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    #45
    jaxxx
    Registered Users Posts: 3,230 ✭✭✭jaxxx


    One eyed Jack wrote: »
    They don’t call teenagers nowadays the “Snapchat generation” for nothing :pac:

    I can see too where an earlier poster was coming from suggesting an iPhone SE 2, and I’m not going to get into tech specs and all the rest of it, phone has already been ruled out as too small (personally I’d have to agree), but the battery life doesn’t seem great on them either.

    A second hand iPhone 7 Plus (I have one myself) would have the same OS (13.4) as an iPhone 11 and dual camera setup, might be worth suggesting that instead.

    Though that’s probably not going to be good enough to convince the OP’s daughter when what she wants is an iPhone 11.


    Bloody well should be. If a kid wants a phone, give 'em a bog standard phone that can be used for calling and texting, or a smartphone for max €150. If you're the one paying for it, then it's you that makes the demands not the kid. Kid doesn't like it? Kid gets no phone. Simples. Kid p1ssed off with you? Good, it's not your job to be their friend, it''s your job to be their parent! If they want an iPhone so bad, tell them they can bloody well save up for one themselves whilst making do with the one you give them. WTF is wrong with society in this day and age where parents don't actually parent their kids!


    Again, not a dig at op. General rant.


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    #46
    mvl
    Registered Users Posts: 1,229 ✭✭✭mvl


    One eyed Jack wrote: »
    I don’t think so, but to be fair to you at least you admit you’re biased on the subject.

    I've re-edited adding income in my text, to be clearer. but do know ppl on low income who seem to want to be investing heavily in these short lived phones - can't help but judge :)


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    #47
    colm_mcm
    Registered Users Posts: 73,390 ✭✭✭✭colm_mcm


    snickers wrote: »
    I have been told the se is to small .
    The 2020 SE is the same size as a 7/8

    SE is still €500 of a phone though.


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    #48
    snickers
    Registered Users Posts: 159 ✭✭snickers


    Thanks for all your reply’s I suggested taking her current phone and the iPhone 5se that I was willing to give her plus an iPod that she has and bring them to cex or somewhere similar and trade them against an iPhone 7or8 but no it seems it has to be an 11 .


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    #49
    c.p.w.g.w
    Registered Users Posts: 4,994 ✭✭✭c.p.w.g.w


    One eyed Jack wrote: »
    They don’t call teenagers nowadays the “Snapchat generation” for nothing :pac:

    But you don't need a monster camera for that sort of carry on...My missus has a top end samsung...nearly all the photos on our walls are from her phone, from holidays, family days & out with friends. and there are really good quality, so much so that my Dad didn't believe us, he used to be a wedding photographer back in the day, so not a layman


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    #50
    colm_mcm
    Registered Users Posts: 73,390 ✭✭✭✭colm_mcm


    snickers wrote: »
    Thanks for all your reply’s I suggested taking her current phone and the iPhone 5se that I was willing to give her plus an iPod that she has and bring them to cex or somewhere similar and trade them against an iPhone 7or8 but no it seems it has to be an 11 .

    I think you know that this is ridiculous. There are people on €150k who don't have an iPhone 11.

    I'm getting an upgrade to one from work and I'm concerned it will be too big to lug around.


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    #51
    One eyed Jack
    Registered Users Posts: 23,695 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    jaxxx wrote: »
    Again, not a dig at op. General rant.


    I get where you’re coming from, absolutely agree with everything you said, but the issue here is that the child has the money to buy an iPhone 11 out of her own money. Whether it’s money she saved (which would demonstrate responsibility) or whether it was a lump sum she got like communion or confirmation money, we don’t know.

    If it was my own child I wouldn’t have a problem with them spending their savings on an iPhone 11, but the OP has their reservations about their own child, for their own good reasons, and that’s why I suggested they stick to their guns.


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    #52
    c.p.w.g.w
    Registered Users Posts: 4,994 ✭✭✭c.p.w.g.w


    snickers wrote: »
    Thanks for all your reply’s I suggested taking her current phone and the iPhone 5se that I was willing to give her plus an iPod that she has and bring them to cex or somewhere similar and trade them against an iPhone 7or8 but no it seems it has to be an 11 .

    I'm going to get slaughtered but here we go...You might consider getting some sort tracking app so you can view what she is viewing online and what her online interactions are...We are seeing many cases where young children being defrauded and groomed via messaging apps...or even worse

    https://www.theguardian.com/society/2019/dec/30/thousands-of-children-under-14-have-been-investigated-by-police-for-sexting

    Don't know exactly on the laws here work, but that could potentially be production of child porn...

    Anytime i mention this, i am called an alarmist, but just take a look at the poor Ana Kriegel case and the stuff those lads had on their phones was horrific...all very accessible these days on mobile devices...

    And before the folks come in and give out about her privacy...she is a child of 11...if she wants grown up things she needs to be supervised


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    #53
    minikin
    Registered Users Posts: 2,980 ✭✭✭minikin


    snickers wrote: »
    Thanks for all your reply’s I suggested taking her current phone and the iPhone 5se that I was willing to give her plus an iPod that she has and bring them to cex or somewhere similar and trade them against an iPhone 7or8 but no it seems it has to be an 11 .

    Are you being made to feel like you'll be the bad cop if you don't relent?


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    #54
    snickers
    Registered Users Posts: 159 ✭✭snickers


    minikin wrote: »
    Are you being made to feel like you'll be the bad cop if you don't relent?
    Yes .


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    #55
    Hyzepher
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 4,659 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hyzepher


    Iw ould actually go and talk with the other parents - especially those of her close friends. Kids are smart these days and it's most likley a plan by all of them to get what they want. If your kids class all have iphone 11s then it's the most affluant class in Europe. It's more likely that one kid has one and everyone else has talked up the fact that they are getting one as well. I would be suprised, if you took the time to check that , if any of them have the 11 at all


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    #56
    theteal
    Registered Users Posts: 7,593 ✭✭✭theteal


    Sorry OP, I feel for you and the position you're in but this is madness. It'll be a categoric no from me should something like this pop up when they come of age (not that I think 11 is of age by any stretch).

    How's the relationship with the ex? Are you really being asked for opinion/input here or is it just a case of a heads up before the deed is done?


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    #57
    hero25
    Registered Users Posts: 124 ✭✭hero25


    Randy Archer wrote: »
    Actually we do remember stuff like that

    Eg football boots : all the cool kids getting Adidas Predator (the originals) while I get stuck with Umbro (the cheaper kind, Umbro is a great boot btw) or the cheaper Diarrora - but, I just took it like a man (and even then, when I started earning money doing odd jobs at 12, I’d vomit at the idea of spending on something that was just a brand - although Adidas gear is top quality ,and more than a brand lol )

    Of course, da Younger brother , oh no, want he wanted ,he got

    Oh, those chats with mammy ,before Christmas ... when you don’t believe in Santa , age 10, asked to sacrifice the chance to get a game boy ,because the brother, again, (you see a pattern) wanted the game gear and some other stuff ....

    😂

    Most of us went through the horrors of potential school shunnings, eg cool Adidas 3 stripe tracksuit bottoms vs Penny’s /Dunne’s Stores 4 stripe - (actually I’d dodged that by just going unbranded )

    Likewise ,stuck on a hand me down bmx (When they weren’t as cool ) for 3 years before I had my own money to get the mountain bike I wanted (Again, mammy had to deal with the brother’s demands) . I got laughed at , but I didn’t care, (I was weird like that, never cared what sheep think) (to be honest, the bike was in good Knick and kinda still cool )


    Seriously most of us have been there ! Especially kids from the 1980s ! We know what it’s like. Try being the eldest or the in between sibling who get “neglected” because another sibling is more demanding and wants everything

    700 quid for a phone, an item that can break within days, is no joke. Least with a cool chopper it can last for years and it actually gets you out in the air etc .

    Someone wisely suggested going to the Principal if there’s bullying over this .

    Calculator watch, god I remember those, and the watch that could change tv channels ..Even then i use to think those people were dorks

    Nothing wrong with Android either (I know what you said and it’s context ) but meh, girls ....and their notions ....

    :D:D:D Best laugh in ages!! Great post !! Thanks...


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    #58
    jrosen
    Registered Users Posts: 1,629 ✭✭✭jrosen


    snickers wrote: »
    Thanks for all your reply’s I suggested taking her current phone and the iPhone 5se that I was willing to give her plus an iPod that she has and bring them to cex or somewhere similar and trade them against an iPhone 7or8 but no it seems it has to be an 11 .

    Well then it would be a huge no from me as a parent. Cheeky miss.


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    #59
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 18,749 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    c.p.w.g.w wrote: »
    I'm going to get slaughtered but here we go...You might consider getting some sort tracking app so you can view what she is viewing online and what her online interactions are...We are seeing many cases where young children being defrauded and groomed via messaging apps...or even worse

    https://www.theguardian.com/society/2019/dec/30/thousands-of-children-under-14-have-been-investigated-by-police-for-sexting

    Don't know exactly on the laws here work, but that could potentially be production of child porn...

    Anytime i mention this, i am called an alarmist, but just take a look at the poor Ana Kriegel case and the stuff those lads had on their phones was horrific...all very accessible these days on mobile devices...

    And before the folks come in and give out about her privacy...she is a child of 11...if she wants grown up things she needs to be supervised

    Absolutely.
    No 11 year old needs a smart phone but if they do have one then the parent needs to take charge.
    I wouldn't even do it by secret, parent must have every password for phone & apps & social media sites. Parent should check the phone regularly, preferably when they take it from the child before they go to bed. Without the phone.


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    #60
    thegetawaycar
    Registered Users Posts: 280 ✭✭thegetawaycar


    If the kid is getting bullied, having them with a smart phone will make the potential to bully 100 times worse and literally 0 break from it through messaging apps and social media.

    I'd be very reluctant to allow a child access to a smartphone and potential to take/receive pictures and use social media completely unsupervised


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    #61
    Dr Devious
    Registered Users Posts: 338 ✭✭Dr Devious


    snickers wrote: »
    I wish it was a wind up but it’s the truth unfortunately .

    And yet you feel the need to post a thread here looking for advise!!

    I'd have thought it was fairly obvious what the answer is.


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