Dental plan!

wonton · 14-07-2011 12:50am

(Homer driving around looking for lisa, stops the car and holds out a picture of lisa and is asking passer bys)

Burns: Shouldn't you be at work right now?

Homer: Uh yes sir, Mr. Burns, sir.

Burns: Well then, get back to wherever it is you work, whoever you are.

Say Your Number · 14-07-2011 2:14am

Not a quarter, Arrgh He'll be dancin' for hours

folan · 14-07-2011 7:46am

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22N-TCZHeIY

secrecy_ie · 14-07-2011 9:59am

But reckless spending and interracial homoeroticism were just volume one of the Encyclopedia Self-Destructica.

dan1895 · 14-07-2011 3:29pm

"You can run, but you can't glide"

SlipperyPeople · 15-07-2011 2:35pm

Castro's aide: But Presidente! America tried to kill you!
Fidel Castro: Ah, they're not so bad. They even named a street after me in San Francisco.
Castro's aide: *whispers*
Fidel Castro: It's full of WHAT?!!!

secrecy_ie · 15-07-2011 5:45pm

Krusty: Now, in the spirit of the season, start shopping! And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a sick kid. For legal purposes, sick kids may include hookers with a cold.

allym · 16-07-2011 9:29pm

Mr. Burns: Well, I guess it's impossible for one man to control all the media. Unless, of course, you're Rupert Murdoch. *Looks at camera* He is one beautiful man.

Witcher · 16-07-2011 9:38pm

Jimbo:Hey, Simpson, I hear your sister dumped Christianity.

Bart:Who cares?

Dolph:I'll tell you someone who cares. He's got long hair, works as a carpenter, has a lot of crazy ideas about love and brotherhood.

Jimbo:His name's Gunnar and he's dating my mom. Sometimes he buys us beer.

dagdha · 17-07-2011 6:32pm

When I grow up I want to be a principal or a caterpiller.

krudler · 17-07-2011 6:41pm

Monorail episode

"I just hope you have a damn good conductor"
*cuts to Homer trying to jimmy open the train door*
"nnng, I left my keys in there, get a rock"

Teddy_Picker · 17-07-2011 8:39pm

Also from Monorail episode:

Marge: We're too late!
Cobb: I shouldn't have stopped for that haircut. Sorry.

BOHtox · 17-07-2011 9:54pm

talla10 · 17-07-2011 11:33pm

Bart; If it makes you feel better i belive after you die you can come back as anything you want. I'm gonna be a butterfly

Lisa; How Come?

Bart; Because nobody ever suspects the butterfly!!

Bart imagines school burnt down with Skinner being dragged away by cops.

Skinner; It wasent me!!It was the butterfly i tell you!!!The butterfly!!

Wiggum; He's crazy boys!

jd007 · 19-07-2011 7:05pm

Homer: I lost my map

Smithers: You haven't been issued a map yet.

talla10 · 20-07-2011 7:14pm

Max Power the name you love to touch!!But you musnt touch! His name sounds good in your ear but when you hear it you musnt fear!!Cause his name can be said by anyone..

Stinicker · 20-07-2011 7:16pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=714-Ioa4XQw

Superbus · 20-07-2011 7:43pm

Lenny: Even Bart was throwin' dough around. He paid me and Carl $1000 to kiss each other.
Carl: Hey, did we ever get that money?

(long pause)

Feeona · 20-07-2011 7:55pm

Hey, that's not the wallet inspector!

That crusty old dean.

krudler · 20-07-2011 8:44pm

Homer: "Quiet down you two! this is thanksgiving so glue nice or I'll take your glue and then nobody will have any glue to glue with!"
Lisa "Dad this isnt about glue, its about territoriality, he only wants the glue because I'm using it"
Bary "Oh yeah, prove it!"
*hands Bart glue"
Bart: "hey man I dont want your stupid glue"

Teddy_Picker · 21-07-2011 8:50pm

It's the theme..from a summer place...from a summer plaaace..it's the theme..from a summer place....oh it's the theme...

Aldebaran · 21-07-2011 8:58pm

'We'll take the Spruce Moose. Hop in!'

'But sir...'

'I said, HOP IN.'

KnifeWRENCH · 21-07-2011 9:03pm

*Charlie is sucked up by a tube in Mr. Burns' office*

Mr Burns: "Smithers, where does that tube go?"
Smithers: "I'm not sure, sir; it was here when we first moved in."

*Charlie lands in foreign country and is surrounded by men*

Men: "DANCE! DANCE! DANCE! DANCE!"

HUNK · 21-07-2011 9:27pm

Lurleen: Homer, I want you to be my manager.
Homer: Really?! Well, I should warn you, I'm not great with figures.
Lurleen: That's okay.
Homer: I make a lot of stupid decisions.
Lurleen: Nobody's perfect.
Homer: I did bad in school.
Lurleen: I didn't even go.
Homer: My personal hygeine has been described as...
Lurleen: Look, Homer I'm sure you'll make a great manager.

Vicxas · 21-07-2011 9:29pm

Homer: "Hello, my name is MR Burns, I believe you have a package for me".

Agent: "Ok Mr Burns, and whats your first name?"

Homer: "I Dont know"

efb · 21-07-2011 9:31pm

wob wob wob wob wob wob wob wob wob

im invisible · 22-07-2011 4:31am

crowd at ice hocky game:

kill bart, kill bart, kill.. bart kill, bart kill, bart kill

AlmightyCushion · 22-07-2011 4:39am

What trillion dollar bill?

Töpher · 22-07-2011 6:24am

Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins.

Homer Simpson, smiling politely.

Lapin · 22-07-2011 6:37am

If you dip your chocolate Hob Nob into your mug of tea at a 38 degree angle, it is less likely to break in half and sink into your beverage than dipping it straight down.

Mathamaticians have discovered that this is due to blah blah blah fúcking blah.

But in fairness, its true.

I tried it.

Doesn't work for plain Hob Nobs though.
Don't ask me why.

Dental plan!

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