My wife has dense, matted pubic hair

It's a very sensitive topic. Fair play for asking for advice.

What I would say is maybe after you've had sex, mention to her that you feel a bit irritated down there?

Discussing it will obviously have to be done very gently and with due consideration for feelings so you know best yourself what the potential conversation will entail.

Sounds like you have such consideration for your partner, hope it works out well.

I wasn't being sarcastic at all! Sorry if I came off that way. It genuinely seems to me like you are really interested and caring.

Gruffalox wrote: »

Going to go out on a limb here, as usual but how "dense" and how "matted"?
Matted to be honest suggests unwashed. That is really, really not good.
But how dense can pubic hair be? I am not sure if some people grow huge dense bushes but maybe? Pubes are kind of self limiting in their length and density but maybe some people have monster muffs...I don't know.
I read a thread on boards a few years ago and I was truly amazed at the actual fierce repulsion young males feel about women's body hair. We have been happily riding each other since the morning after day zero and 99.9% of that time we have had loads of body hair. Then porn does a number on us and males (and females) are suddenly conditioned to feel like vomiting at the very sight of pubes. Weird.
Being a child of the 70s I feel no shame about a neat bush of golden virginia springing in my knickers. But I realise it is not common. I said to my gynaecologist recently "Brace now, I do not shave" and she, a lady who has seen more than 10,000 fannies, said "Much better off not to, dear." It is more hygenic, a cushion for sex and she described the terrible rashes, ingrown hairs, raw pimples etc that she sees day in day out. So that's a thing. Who'd have thunk it!
Anyway. Conditioner might help, softening creams if the hair is really wiry, you producing a little snippers and doing a nice trim that is pleasing to you while she relaxes watching a film, shared showers before sex, and you asking yourself if this is a conditioning in your mind about pussies?
But if it is truly matted and gruesome then no one could fault you for abandoning the fanny. I can understand.

***Note***
Whatever about going full bush, a gynaecologist would most definitely not recommend putting conditioner anywhere near your pubic hair, you are pretty much guaranteed to get an imbalance down there if perfumed tincture is applied to the genital region. Also in the summertime having pubic hair is likely to actually cause more sweat and can end up being less hygienic than removing hair.

Also if you are somebody who wants to tidy up downstairs, showering and applying a non-perfumed moisturising lotion before and after waxing or very carefully shaving is a good way to avoid spots or blemishes as the hot water will get the oils out of your pores. Whether spots are an issue will also depend very much on the overall condition of your skin, which should be reasonably smooth before removing hair... If there are one or more spots, wait for them to heal completely before hair removal. If you get into a good system of washing (with water only, no shower gels), moisturising and removing hair, your skin may actually be of a better quality than if you let your pubic hair grow longer.

Obviously it's a personal preference if you shave or not. When people don't shave who previously have, it could indicate that they haven't had time or are up the walls with other things. Maybe she feels unattractive and just doesn't care about sex right now. Personally I get scareoused and want more sex during stressful times, but I know people who get so driven to distraction that they can't even get an erection if they're preoccupied. I would not agree whatsoever that the OP's partner is not attracted to him anymore based on her not removing hair. It's a pandemic, they have children, she could be stressed out, like virtually everyone is. More likely reason is that she hasn't had the time to look after herself. Anyone who asserts that without any further evidence is only trying to be hurtful and I would ignore them because they are probably jealous of your obviously loving relationship or just d!ckheads. There isn't enough background to suggest that from your story.

Another suggestion for the OP could be treat her to a "day off" from any responsibilities, where you do your best to take on any stuff she does routinely and let her relax and look after herself that day... Maybe buy her a nice spa pack online. Is that a thing? I think that exists.

It's considerate of you to have noticed that there's something going on, I've known many people to miss signs like this and damage their relationships due to unwanted advances being made. Ultimately, making each other feel sexy is kind of the point of a sexual relationship, so you might just need to help her find her sexual energies again.

Best of luck with it

That article is well and good but I'm pretty sure people can choose to do what they want with their own vaginas.



Having hair isn't necessarily the best choice for everyone, because plainly it takes as much maintenance to ensure that pubic hair is kept clean and won't "collect bacteria" (to the extent that you end up with an infection) as it does to keep your skin in good condition, wax or shave and keep your vaginal area hygienic.

People are going to choose whether or not it suits them to shave or wax because thankfully, there's no obligation on anyone to do it or not. While it's good do research into the health aspect of it, you'll find supporting arguments for and against accordingly as the commercial entities that benefit from bush maintenance/razor and waxing companies see fit. My partner and I maintain our pubic areas regularly because we prefer not to have hair chafing or ending up in our mouths and around the house, as well as for the hygiene reasons I detailed above.

If it gets neglected for a while, it's not a big deal but we may be less inclined to have sex (not a conscious decision) depending on the weather (too hot/humid) and other factors like our own self-confidence. The latter is something that can be worked on and overcome; we prop each other up and flirt with each other all the time, pubes don't bother me in the slightest when the maintenance falls by the wayside for a while and they know I feel this way, I know it doesn't really bother them too much either when I'm caught for time and don't get around to it for a while. I'd have enthusiastic and enjoyable sex with them even if they were covered in wasps.

That gives me an idea actually.