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End a relationship if the guy said marriage is not for him but still wants commitment

  • 29-06-2020 7:56pm
    #1
    Minime2.5
    Registered Users Posts: 1,109 ✭✭✭


    Is it possible to be in a long term committed relationship without ever getting married ? For me personally as a man I am not scared of commitment however I don't want to get married ever . Relationships end and the law so overwhelmingly favours women in all aspects when it comes to getting a divorce


Comments

  • #2
    meeeeh
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,624 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    I don't know if it's possible to be in a relationship with a man who calls women females. Unless you meant female dogs then I can tell you mine says she is not interested.


  • #3
    Minime2.5
    Registered Users Posts: 1,109 ✭✭✭Minime2.5


    meeeeh wrote: »
    I don't know if it's possible to be in a relationship with a man who calls women females. Unless you meant female dogs then I can tell you mine says she is not interested.

    Happy now ?


  • #4
    pwurple
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,449 ✭✭✭✭pwurple


    Minime2.5 wrote: »
    Relationships end and the law so overwhelmingly favours women in all aspects when it comes to getting a divorce

    I think you have your base understanding all wrong.

    Marriage protects mens rights as well as womens. It protects your right to guardianship, it protects your next of kin rights, inheritance.

    As for divorce, what you might mean is that it overwhelmingly favours the lower earner if it's not equal. A lot of the time, that's the man, if the woman has had her career hacked to pieces by maternity leave and taking up childcare, but I can certainly tell you in my own experience, when the woman is the higher earner, she invariably loses her house, has to pay a maintenance, and if there are children they need to come to an agreement. Divorce is splitting up pooled assets and both parties usually get walloped, unless they are relatively equal in terms of holdings (or they have no assets each).


  • #5
    meeeeh
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,624 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    Minime2.5 wrote: »
    Happy now ?

    That's better. As for your question it depends if you want kids or not. For your benefit I would advise marriage if you intend to have kids.

    Personally there are countries in which I would happily cohabit for life. Ireland is not of them and it has nothing to do with the assets someone brings into relationship.


  • #6
    smacl
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,777 Mod ✭✭✭✭smacl


    Minime2.5 wrote: »
    Is it possible to be in a long term committed relationship without ever getting married ? For me personally as a man I am not scared of commitment however I don't want to get married ever. Relationships end and the law so overwhelmingly favours women in all aspects when it comes to getting a divorce

    No offence but you seem to be looking to get into the relationship in terms of how you're going to get back out of it again. Myself and my then girlfriend, now wife, were going out for seventeen years, had kids and bought a house together before eventually getting married on the advice of our solicitor. Neither of us particularly wanted to but were advised to do so insofar as in the event of either us dying, it would leave the kids with inheritance problems. We're about fifteen years married now and it hasn't made much difference to things.

    My advice, yes you can get into a long term relationship without getting married until such time as you feel you both want or need to get married. Personally, I never wanted to get married either and nor did my wife. So it goes.


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  • #7
    Dotsie~tmp
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,427 ✭✭✭Dotsie~tmp


    It’s your life your choice. Weigh up the pros and cons.

    Con: gold diggin hos be out fo yo stash
    Pro: get pissed at the wedding.


  • #8
    sallyanne12
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 259 ✭✭sallyanne12


    Minime2.5 wrote: »
    Is it possible to be in a long term committed relationship without ever getting married ? For me personally as a man I am not scared of commitment however I don't want to get married ever . Relationships end and the law so overwhelmingly favours women in all aspects when it comes to getting a divorce
    I respect your point of view and think women will admire your honesty. So many men just avoid it and never say how they feel or why they don’t want it. But your reason makes perfect sense! It’s so naive to think the person you love right now is gonna be the person you love in 30 years... why else do we all have exes?
    Also can’t understand people who marry and then remarry once their marriage fails. Kind of loses its meaning after the first fail...


  • #9
    Esse85
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,245 ✭✭✭Esse85


    I know some people, myself included that have no problem with marriage, it's the whole "wedding" I'd not be in favour of.

    It's important to identify and draw a distinction between the two.
    In fairness OP, you seem clear it's marriage.


  • #10
    sallyanne12
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 259 ✭✭sallyanne12


    smacl wrote: »
    Neither of us particularly wanted to but were advised to do so insofar as in the event of either us dying, it would leave the kids with inheritance problems.

    What inheritance problems? They are still your kids so should inherit everything?


  • #11
    Wanderer78
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,903 ✭✭✭✭Wanderer78


    Esse85 wrote:
    I know some people, myself included that have no problem with marriage, it's the whole "wedding" I'd not be in favour of.


    I'd be similar, being an aspie, I'd run a mile from a wedding, marriage itself would be nice though, it would be nice to show someone you care for and love them


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  • #12
    sullivlo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,994 ✭✭✭sullivlo


    Mod

    Thread locked as it contravenes the charter.


This discussion has been closed.
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