Childfree chit chat

wench · 05-07-2021 2:36pm

pinkypinky wrote: »

Had lovely morning with niece (just under 3, new sibling born recently). It went great, then I gave her back. Now I need a nap. Love being an aunt.

I've one nephew who I adore, but giving him back is an integral part of the process!

Also Starring LeVar Burton · 20-07-2021 5:25pm

Oh great looks like this Forum is up and running again ; dropped in here the other day and wasn't able to post anywhere.

21-07-2021 7:51am

Same, good to see it up and running again

Faith · 21-07-2021 6:31pm

https://boards.ie/discussion/comment/117638476#Comment_117638476

I think of you try and access it under “society and culture”, you can’t, but if you get it through “new forums” or whatever, you can.

Faith · 21-07-2021 6:38pm

Since we’ve been down, a longtime child-free friend has announced she’s planning for a child soon 🤦‍♀️.

I think she’d be a great mum and if it’s what she really wants, then I’m so happy for her, but I can’t help thinking it’s just happened because someone put the frighteners up her about her age and declining fertility (she’s nearly 40). Either way, I had to do the usual “oh that’s so exciting!” Response while mentally beginning the grieving process for the friendship as it has been.

BuboBubo · 21-07-2021 6:42pm

I don't bother with gifts for my nieces/nephews or Mr Bubos lot either. There's 24 of them between us, ffs!

They have homes filled with plastic sh1te, don't need us adding to it.

Loving the weather, but hard to sleep when doing night shift. Roll on the weekend.

21-07-2021 9:17pm

@Faith, I get it totally!

my friend, same age as me, mid 40s never wanted kids either, not anti kids, but just wasn't for her. Now her girlfriend is all out for one, so they are going down the donor sperm route.

I am happy for them, but so sad that I am losing a child free buddy!

The Cool · 24-10-2021 5:13pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117643274#Comment_117643274

This struck a nerve with me BuboBubo, I've had an annoyance about this lately!

I have one nephew and my OH has one niece. We dote on them both of course and we generally treat them both the same in terms of presents etc: when they were pregnant, we bought both sets of parents-to-be their travel system (nothing flashy but still a grand chunk of cash even for a cheap one), for birthdays and christmas so far they've gotten a wee outfit out of Next, as they get older they'll be getting books. The usual. Grand.

However I'm now noticing my inlaws (parents of our niece) getting BIG expectations about presents, spending etc. Somehow the fact that we are a little older, both have good jobs, and my OH is godfather means they think we're going to spend €80+ for each occasion. We've learned not to ask the parents if there's anything on the wishlist to buy the child, as it'll be something twice the cost of what we had planned, which to me is quite cheeky! The issue being, and what we always keep in mind, that between us, we have two niblings - for NOW. What about in another 5 years or so when there's a few more? It's all grand when there's only one grandchild in the extended family, but I've no intention of setting a precedent now and being expected to keep it up when there's loads of kids running about.

There is also a part of me that is aware, scabby as it may sound, that if we don't have kids of our own, this is all one-way buying. So if it's not appreciated or returned then why bother? I'd rather spend it on my own christmas presents to myself!

Igotadose · 16-12-2021 10:08am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118067050#Comment_118067050

Pretty much what is reported regularly on reddit.com/r/childfree. The bred have no compunctions preventing them from demanding of the childfree. Parents think different than childfree.

14-09-2022 10:57pm

Three years ago today we added my Newfie Frasier to my family, he is our first own dog as a couple. The only family member who has been here longer than him now is our tomcat Corey!

One of the things I hate about small kids is the mess they make. They drool and they wee and they puke on everything. They spill things and they knock things over and break them. They wail when they want things even if those things are impossible.

While typing this I have been growling "shut up Corey!" who is waaahing at the door wanting to go outside but it's too late. I spent ten minutes cleaning up a glass of Coke that was knocked off the coffee table by the Newfie's huge tail, while the Labrador helped by lapping it up. So the floor is sticky and I don't care. But honestly I'm still not sure how different my life is to that of a parent with small kids...

Except I can call Corey every name under the sun and tell him I'm going to put him in a bag and throw him in the river and no one is traumatised, also no one is going to repeat that to the neighbours tomorrow. My Newfie has been sleeping in the back garden for a few hours and I hear that's frowned upon too. And since I am sick right now, I can get up tomorrow morning and feed the animals, let them out for the toilet and then go back to bed. There is a very good chance that the dogs will eat the mats downstairs while I'm in bed but hey.

Actually tell me again how my life is that different to a parent? 🤣

Faith · 15-09-2022 12:57pm

We got a puppy 3/4 months ago. Holy shiit it confirmed my decision not to have kids! I adore her, but the constant demands are exhausting. She wakes up every morning at 7 on the dot and barks until we get up, so no more lie ins for us at weekends. She has to be fed and entertained constantly or she'll start eating things she shouldn't or digging up the garden, we put into her crate for enforced naps several times a day, she destroys the house if left unattended for too long (RIP skirting boards), we can't go out freely any more because we have to plan around her, the place is covered in mud, sand, slobber and toys... I'm only surviving because I know it'll all settle down a lot soon!

In all seriousness, it has also highlighted how stressful I find all of these things and I really believe I've made the best decision for my own mental health and wellbeing in deciding not to have kids.

Dial Hard · 11-07-2023 10:37pm

Have just spent two nights in my brother's holiday home with my SIL and two youngest niblings. I honestly don't know how she's not in the nut-house. They fight her on *everything*. Constant battles of wits/whinging/time-outs. Youngest skinned his elbow earlier and you'd swear he needed an amputation the way he was going on. But only in front of her. Any time she left the room he was completely sanguine. Then would start up with the fakest fake cry I have ever heard in my life as soon as she came back in. I genuinely can't understand how parents are fooled by that kind of carry-on.

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