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Have you ever had depression?
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RandomUserName! wrote: »I voted I dont know - I probably did but compared to some other people in this thread I probably got off pretty lightly.
+1 on the love for this thread and the honesty. It helps a huge amount to have some place to vent. I think its great that celebrities like Cameron Diaz and Jim Carrey are so open about suffering with it in the past, it makes you realize that literally anyone can have it. No matter how perfect you think peoples lives are and how happy they may seem from the outside, most of the time you can never really know whats going on in their heads. Owen Wilson's suicide attempt came as a shock considering how he always came off so happy.
It's definitely made me stop thinking "God, they have the perfect life, wish I could be more like them" about certain people, because you really just never know.
That is so so true. In my Leaving Cert, I got 8 A1s, becoming a somewhat minor celebrity in my town. Everyone would tell me how lucky I was, how I could do anything I wanted, how they wished they could've done half aswell as me, could I donate them some points etc. etc. It was like that everytime I went anywhere for months afterwards. Now don't get me wrong, I am grateful for those results and I'm by no means blowing my own trumpet here, but I just want to emphasis the point that RandomUserName! made above. I know that people thought I had it all but in reality it was far from it. I had an eating disorder and was self-harming in the years prior to the Leaving Cert, and since then I've had another eating disorder and severe depression. There's often alot more going on in a person's life than meets the eye.
But yes, this thread is great and kudos to everyone who's posted so far
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That is so so true. In my Leaving Cert, I got 8 A1s, becoming a somewhat minor celebrity in my town. Everyone would tell me how lucky I was, how I could do anything I wanted, how they wished they could've done half aswell as me, could I donate them some points etc. etc. It was like that everytime I went anywhere for months afterwards. Now don't get me wrong, I am grateful for those results and I'm by no means blowing my own trumpet here, but I just want to emphasis the point that RandomUserName! made above. I know that people thought I had it all but in reality it was far from it. I had an eating disorder and was self-harming in the years prior to the Leaving Cert, and since then I've had another eating disorder and severe depression. There's often alot more going on in a person's life than meets the eye.
But yes, this thread is great and kudos to everyone who's posted so far
Yeah, thats what I meant actually. I got 600 too and people thinking I "had it all" was so ridiculous to me, things like that mean absolutely nothing when it comes to depression. I also had a few eating disorder tendencies, they tend to correlate quite a bit with overachieving. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2004/06/040614074620.htm0 -
I had mild depression for about 4-5 years but have been at the severe end of the scales for the last 5-6 months. I'm on St. John's Wort at the moment which I want to try before any prescribed anti-depressants. I can ramble on for ages but the conclusion is the same: Depression is ****. You wonder is there ever any end to it - it's often hard to envisage a future without feeling like this.In the last 4 years I've suffered from TWO (you think one'd be enough) eating disorders, periods of self-harm and mild to severe depression.
There's a million other things I could say here but none of it is coming out coherently
That's my experience anyway!
Thanks for sharing....Lots of people reading this can't even bring themselves to open up about depression so fair play to you.Could be the start of something.Sounds like your going through it at the moment.
Depression like a fecking computer virus it convinces you that you will never get rid of or get over ,it robs you of hope , but you can get over it, i promise.....The darkest hour is often just before the dawn
Have you gone down the professional route ie. counseling ect.Deifinitly helped for me..When i started my brain felt like a big ball of string ,all knoted.Memories, emotions, fears ,urges all caught up together.But slowly things improved.Things put in there right place.
Don't get me wrong I'm not all rainbows and sunshine and i still have bad days...but mostly good days and when i do have bad day(or a bad week) i know it will pass and things will look brighter again....
Don't be afraid to look for help....as the shampoo add says...because your worth it (even when the virus is trying to convince you your not)0 -
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Thanks for sharing....Lots of people reading this can't even bring themselves to open up about depression so fair play to you.Could be the start of something.Sounds like your going through it at the moment.
Depression like a fecking computer virus it convinces you that you will never get rid of or get over ,it robs you of hope , but you can get over it, i promise.....The darkest hour is often just before the dawn
Have you gone down the professional route ie. counseling ect.Deifinitly helped for me..When i started my brain felt like a big ball of string ,all knoted.Memories, emotions, fears ,urges all caught up together.But slowly things improved.Things put in there right place.
Don't get me wrong I'm not all rainbows and sunshine and i still have bad days...but mostly good days and when i do have bad day(or a bad week) i know it will pass and things will look brighter again....
Don't be afraid to look for help....as the shampoo add says...because your worth it (even when the virus is trying to convince you your not)
Thank you for the kind words, I'm always looking out for inspiring stories to encourage me to get through this. I've been attending a counseller for 2 months now. She's amazing and I'm finding it really helpful. Things are still pretty bad atm but I'm learning an awful lot of things that will help me through life in the future. I understand now that I never learned to deal with pain, hurt and discomfort in my life so I turned to coping mechanisms such as eating disorders and self harming. I'm also a bit of a perfectionist but I'm learning how to chill out a bit more and accept that everyone makes mistakes. Life it'd be boring if we were all perfect. 0 -
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Thank you for the kind words, I'm always looking out for inspiring stories to encourage me to get through this. I've been attending a counseller for 2 months now. She's amazing and I'm finding it really helpful. Things are still pretty bad atm but I'm learning an awful lot of things that will help me through life in the future. I understand now that I never learned to deal with pain, hurt and discomfort in my life so I turned to coping mechanisms such as eating disorders and self harming. I'm also a bit of a perfectionist but I'm learning how to chill out a bit more and accept that everyone makes mistakes. Life it'd be boring if we were all perfect.
I like the saying "progress not perfection"...ye your right if we were all perfect it would be a boring world.... Again fair play for sharing and give the counselor time....the ball of string can be a fecker to try and loosen at times......but it will tease apart in time.0 -
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I think just talking and being someone's friend can make so much difference to someone. I think everyone being so supportive here helps more than just the people who reply. My friends are why I would never(hopefully) do anything too serious. I don't want my awesome friends to go through anymore crap in their lives.
'Happiness is offering what you have to the world and knowing it is enough' We are all human and can be no more
Haha this was so made more sense in my head0 -
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Aaarrgh, I had a really long post written out, but then my internet disconnected
Here we go again...
Anyway, I was diagnosed with depression just over a month ago (as some of you might already know, seeing as I seem to mention it a lot on here
). I'd been feeling really bad for a good while so I decided to go to the doctor at college. She referred me on to the psychiatrist and he put me on medication after a few visits. The medication has really helped, but it isn't a magic solution. Before I started taking them I thought "oh wow, now it's all going to go back to normal!", but it doesn't. Not straight away anyway. Sometimes I do feel on top of the world, but other times it's just as if I never took them at all. I've only been on them about a month though, so that could be it.
If anyone does feel really down, you should talk to someone about it. I didn't when I was doing my leaving cert, and that time was probably one of the hardest of my life. Talking really does help. Tell your friends and family, I know it's hard, but you could be surprised at the support you get. I know I was, especially because I was petrified of telling my parents due to some stuff that had happened in the past, they've been great though Talk to people in college/school too, there's no point in struggling on by yourself if you feel like crap. There's so many supports there to help you, things that you mightn't even realise. I didn't know of even half the stuff that was available beforehand.
I know how daunting it is to try and tell people what's going through your head when you can't even make any sense of it yourself. It seems like nobody will ever understand what's happening. I still feel like that, but hopefully it'll get better it's weird how much has changed since I posted last on this thread!
*hugs* to everyone who's written stuff in this thread, and everyone reading it. It's good to get people talking about mental health issues.0 -
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The fact that he's talking about how down he's feeling might show that he's finally accepting it. It can be easier to try and go on and forget about how bad you feel than actually thinking about it.
Just make sure you're there for him, he needs a good friend now, and by the sounds of it you are one 0 -
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Extrasupervery wrote: »Be there. Just be there. No one knows what to say, but your presence and the fact that you give a shít means more than he could let you know. Make sure he isn't on his own for too long either...these things intensify tenfold in isolation.
^This exactly.
As someone who suffers from depression, I know that I'm never as down when I'm with other people than when I'm on my own. There's nothing you can say to make it better - just being there is enough. Knowing that someone cares is an amazing feeling.
You sound like a great friend - kudos to you! 0 -
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Hi, I'm looking for some advice in relation to one of my friends.
She's, I suppose, what people would consider an "emo", just because of what she wears and the music she listens to. Anyway, I don't know if she has an eating disorder. In school, all she eats is a few sweets and diet coke. Another friend of mine was talking to her brother, and said she won't eat much at home either.
I don't know if she really does have an eating disorder, or just wants attention. I think a lot of people see her not-eating as being attention seeking, because she is an emo. I know its wrong, but sometimes I get really irritated with her for not eating, because its just so frustrating, especially as she's lost a lot of weight. None of us know what to do with her.
I was just wondering if anyway could tell me what I should do? I'm really confused and its kinda getting me down now that I can't do anything for her.
Btw, would just like to say well done to everyone here who has spoken freely about their depression. I think you're all really brave and really admire your courage 0 -
ye, I have suffered from depression in the past, not taken meds for it as there is usually a reason why I am depressed so I deal with it, my partner Susan was suffering from severe depression for years, this was caused by Seroxat (Paxil), since she stopped taking that sh!t 5 years ago, she has been on top form 0
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+1. It's always so reassuring to know that there's someone out there who actually does care about you. Having a good friend can make a whole lot of difference to someone while they're going through this. I never really spoke to my friends about depression when it was really getting me down, and I really wish I had. It could have made a big difference.^This exactly.
As someone who suffers from depression, I know that I'm never as down when I'm with other people than when I'm on my own. There's nothing you can say to make it better - just being there is enough. Knowing that someone cares is an amazing feeling.
You sound like a great friend - kudos to you!Hi, I'm looking for some advice in relation to one of my friends.
She's, I suppose, what people would consider an "emo", just because of what she wears and the music she listens to. Anyway, I don't know if she has an eating disorder. In school, all she eats is a few sweets and diet coke. Another friend of mine was talking to her brother, and said she won't eat much at home either.
I don't know if she really does have an eating disorder, or just wants attention. I think a lot of people see her not-eating as being attention seeking, because she is an emo. I know its wrong, but sometimes I get really irritated with her for not eating, because its just so frustrating, especially as she's lost a lot of weight. None of us know what to do with her.
I was just wondering if anyway could tell me what I should do? I'm really confused and its kinda getting me down now that I can't do anything for her.
Btw, would just like to say well done to everyone here who has spoken freely about their depression. I think you're all really brave and really admire your courage
I honestly don't know what advice to give here, other than suggest you start a thread in the Personal Issues forum. That forum has a lot of traffic and you're sure to get some good advice and helpful replies there.0 -
Hi, I'm looking for some advice in relation to one of my friends.
She's, I suppose, what people would consider an "emo", just because of what she wears and the music she listens to. Anyway, I don't know if she has an eating disorder. In school, all she eats is a few sweets and diet coke. Another friend of mine was talking to her brother, and said she won't eat much at home either.
I don't know if she really does have an eating disorder, or just wants attention. I think a lot of people see her not-eating as being attention seeking, because she is an emo. I know its wrong, but sometimes I get really irritated with her for not eating, because its just so frustrating, especially as she's lost a lot of weight. None of us know what to do with her.
I was just wondering if anyway could tell me what I should do? I'm really confused and its kinda getting me down now that I can't do anything for her.
Btw, would just like to say well done to everyone here who has spoken freely about their depression. I think you're all really brave and really admire your courage
Well. Eating disorders are a toughie and I speak from experience (again, ugh). The hardest part about eating disorders is that the sufferer cannot get better until they WANT to and even then it's a long battle.
You need to be very careful that you don't nag her. When I was anorexic I had teachers calling me to their office, friends telling me to eat, all this stuff for months before I even admitted to myself that I was sick. All of the "nagging" (even though I know it was out of concern) just annoyed me.
Try talking to her - just asking her how she is. How is she feeling at the moment? Is their anything wrong at home/school/with friends/relationships etc.? Eating disorders are only superficially about weight after all, it's the thoughts and feelings that are the real problem.
I know it's hard. I've been on both sides of the fence (sufferer and concerned friend) and the feeling of helplessness can be pretty tough. But seriously, just be there for her and DON'T talk to her about food or weight - it won't help. Most of all, look after yourself too - if you really feel you can't handle this, talk to someone close to you for support.
Best of luck! 0 -
<snip>:there are better people to give advice on this then me.Hi, I'm looking for some advice in relation to one of my friends.
She's, I suppose, what people would consider an "emo", just because of what she wears and the music she listens to. Anyway, I don't know if she has an eating disorder. In school, all she eats is a few sweets and diet coke. Another friend of mine was talking to her brother, and said she won't eat much at home either.
I don't know if she really does have an eating disorder, or just wants attention. I think a lot of people see her not-eating as being attention seeking, because she is an emo. I know its wrong, but sometimes I get really irritated with her for not eating, because its just so frustrating, especially as she's lost a lot of weight. None of us know what to do with her.
I was just wondering if anyway could tell me what I should do? I'm really confused and its kinda getting me down now that I can't do anything for her.
Btw, would just like to say well done to everyone here who has spoken freely about their depression. I think you're all really brave and really admire your courage
as for the emo thing,Some of the happiest people I've ever met dressed like emo's and some of the saddest didn't.I wouldn't rate that much at all.Just my opinion btw,you know the girl,act how you think would suit her best,everyone's different in these situations
there are people here who know first hand a lot more about this stuff,take their advice0 -
Hi, I'm looking for some advice in relation to one of my friends.
She's, I suppose, what people would consider an "emo", just because of what she wears and the music she listens to. Anyway, I don't know if she has an eating disorder. In school, all she eats is a few sweets and diet coke. Another friend of mine was talking to her brother, and said she won't eat much at home either.
I don't know if she really does have an eating disorder, or just wants attention. I think a lot of people see her not-eating as being attention seeking, because she is an emo. I know its wrong, but sometimes I get really irritated with her for not eating, because its just so frustrating, especially as she's lost a lot of weight. None of us know what to do with her.
I was just wondering if anyway could tell me what I should do? I'm really confused and its kinda getting me down now that I can't do anything for her.
Btw, would just like to say well done to everyone here who has spoken freely about their depression. I think you're all really brave and really admire your courage
Your friend is pretty lucky that she has someone like you who genuinely wants to help her. Ya know, sometimes that fact alone means more than anything else. I've suffered from pretty bad depression myself, and tbh, it really showed me who my real friends were. Knowing that I did have friends who truly cared, that honestly meant the world to me and while there wasn't really anything they could say or do to make things better for me, them just being there, well, it was everything.
The fact that she likes a certain genre of music or dresses 'emo' shouldn't be something that people take into account when considering her mental state of mind. That drives me mad! So many times people have said to me, "Maybe you'd be a happier person if you listened to more uplifting music". Yes, I'm sure my diagnosed illness is all in relation to the fact that I like a bit of Death Cab for Cutie! :rolleyes: I like sad songs, sure, but I don't like sadness, or being a sad person.
Even if she has stopped eating to gain attention, imo, that's still dangerous. I would still think of her as someone who needs help. It's normal to feel irritated at her for not eating but I'd advise not showing that.
Tbh, it's pretty difficult for me to tell you what to do. I've been in your position, had a friend with an eating disorder and we (myself and other friends) found it really difficult. We wanted her to eat because we care about her and didn't want to see her sick, but at the same time, forcing food on her just wasn't right either.
I guess you could try have a chat with her. An, "I'm worried about you, I would really like to help you, I'm not going to push you to do anything you don't wanna do" type thing. See how she reacts. Give her a while. If things stay the same or get worse, it would probably be in her best interest if you told her parents or something. I know that'd feel like you're betraying her but sometimes a persons well-being has to come before everything else.
Best of luck, hope things look up.0 -
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Thanks for all our advice everyone. I know I have to do something about her, because she has a history of self-harm and she's moving schools in a month and there no one may care about her eating patterns!
I think I'll just talk to her in private, make sure everythings alright and let her know that I'm there for her if something is wrong. I know myself, I would hate if people were nagging me all the time!
Oh and btw, sorry if i seemed a bit judgemental in relation to the "emo" thing. Personally, I hate that nametag and the belief that they're all depressed people. She is, in fact, one of the happiest people I know! Though, with her not eating, I'm afraid it just may be an act.
Anyway, thanks again!
You're a really good friend
Oh, and btw, if it seemed like I was jumping down your neck about the emo bit, I'm really sorry! Didn't mean it like that at all, that whole thing just drives me mad!0 -
Ginja Ninja wrote: »I think I can say on behalf of all of us:
You're an awesome friend/person dude[ette?]
Thanks, its just I understand what it feels like to think no one cares about you.You're a really good friend
Oh, and btw, if it seemed like I was jumping down your neck about the emo bit, I'm really sorry! Didn't mean it like that at all, that whole thing just drives me mad!
No, don't be,I completely agree with you re the whole "emo" issue! 0 -
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One of my best friends has recently been diagnosed with mild depression. After a couple of weeks he finally confided in me and hasn't even told any of the lads who he is VERY close with as he goes to boarding school (I'm a girl btw). I was honestly shocked as I know him incredibly well and he is honestly one of the the happiest, craziest most outgoing and easy going people I know! He also told me about some "black patches" which I won't go into but suffice to say I was shocked and would have never in a million years guessed.. He knows I'm 100% there for him for anything at all, and we do chat everyday. My question is apart from this is there anything else, any other support which I can give? I'm not quite sure why he hasn't told any of the lads, maybe it's because I know a side to him no one else has seen as we're so close. Should I encourage him to talk to them about it? Or just leave it? I'm probably going to be leaving the country soon and I just really want to make sure he's got the support system which I feel he needs. Sorry about the long post.. Any help/recommendations are welcome and also I must say a huge well done to everyone on here who has been so honest about their own situations. From what I've seen from my friend, I know it's sometimes very difficult to
open up about these things 0
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