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07-10-2019, 20:58   #1
freshpopcorn
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Would you ask somebody ''How were they feeling/How was their mental health''?

I think I often heard it in campaigns.
I have never really done it. People have sort of opened up to me when they were drunk before but it was sort of discussed briefly and the next day they clearly didn't want to talk about it again.
If I did think there was an issue I believe I'd try.

Would you ask somebody ''How were they feeling/How was their mental health''?
If you did how did it go?
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07-10-2019, 21:01   #2
Hobosan
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Everyone in Ireland is grand.
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07-10-2019, 21:02   #3
Lesalare
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I think it's an amazing thing to ask someone/a friend.

I have struggled with a lot of things over the years and if I had a friend who asked me that, I would be very grateful.
You're only going to really ask someone that that you feel is in need/have a gut feeling about it. If they aren't great place they will really be grateful. If they are fine, they probably won't care that you asked them.

More people should have your attitude. Everyone puts up all those 'Are you OK' things on FB on whatever day of the year 'Are you Ok' day falls (!?!), but they rarely actually ask anyone the question.
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07-10-2019, 21:04   #4
cazzer22
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I have asked close friends and tbh we speak about it on an almost daily basis now. I opened up about my struggles and now my friends are more open. Such an important conversation to have.
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07-10-2019, 21:08   #5
Srameen
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I have done so when I knew the person was having, or had had, some difficulties. It's no way awkward and always seems to allow the person to relax and talk things through.
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07-10-2019, 21:09   #6
twignme
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It’s not about asking the question. It’s about whether you will listen to the answer.
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07-10-2019, 21:11   #7
Salary Negotiator
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If I know a friend struggles with their mental health then I’ll ask from time to time, I like to think that if I ask often enough if they ever aren’t ok they know they can talk to me.
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07-10-2019, 21:29   #8
Persepoly
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Yes. If I know any of my friends are going through a tough time I check in regularly. Even when they are are well I still ask. A simple "how are you really" or "is everything ok"? can make all the difference.

A few weeks ago someone asked me how I was. It was most unexpected for reasons I wont go in to but so real and open that part of me wanted to share. Anyways it meant alot. Sometimes the person may not want or be able to tell you how they are but to be asked is enough.

I remember things like that the most.
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07-10-2019, 22:18   #9
fussyonion
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I do always ask if I think someone's not right but nobody ever asks me and tbh, I wish they would now and again.
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07-10-2019, 22:23   #10
Lesalare
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fussyonion View Post
I do always ask if I think someone's not right but nobody ever asks me and tbh, I wish they would now and again.

Sorry to hear that. That made me
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07-10-2019, 22:25   #11
LirW
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I do, a lot. Because I genuinely care. I'm very sensitive to changes in people and Is say I'm pretty good at noticing when something is "off".
I want to be there and listen to my friends and family because we all go through rough patches and when I was facing one years ago after the suicide of a close friend nobody was there for me. I don't wish this on anyone so I try being the person I so desperately needed back then.

First and foremost I'm there for my husband, I care so much about his mental wellbeing and when he needs me to be there I am. And if it costs a night of sleep because we talk, happiness and support is a lot more important than that.
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07-10-2019, 22:28   #12
Leg End Reject
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fussyonion View Post
I do always ask if I think someone's not right but nobody ever asks me and tbh, I wish they would now and again.
Me neither, but I internalise things and it appears that all is fine.
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07-10-2019, 22:29   #13
gazz
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No
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07-10-2019, 22:33   #14
cannotlogin
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Yes because I hope someone would do it for me if the situation was reversed.

I have lost count of the number of male friends who have raised something with a few drinks on board, only to refuse to discuss it again when sober but I'd like to think they know I'm there for them if needed.

I know it's a sweeping generalisation, but I think women tend to share their feelings more & suffer from depression much less as a result. It's never a sign of weakness to talk, purely a sign of strength- we all need people to lean on from time to time & owe it to ourselves to do so when times are tough.

Last edited by cannotlogin; 07-10-2019 at 22:43.
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07-10-2019, 22:33   #15
Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo
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I do like being open with friends.

Nearly any issue becomes smaller once it's said out loud.
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