Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

LegacyUser · 15-07-2010 9:51pm

Hi all,

I too have been reading this thread with great interest. Reading everyones experiences is actually quite uplifting. I know that I am not alone.

Like most people, as a child i endured years and years of chronic bullying. I was able to hide it from my parents but by the time they found out the damage had been done. 14 years later (im now 24) all those insecurities are weighing me down. It's not a case of BDD, where I perceive I have physical "flaws". I know that I have.

This episode started last May (ive had 2 major episodes; 2004 and 2007 and i came very close to being hospitalized on both occasions). I was working till last July but then was let go. Since then I have tried my best to stay indoors. I go out enough not to get people suspicious, I go to family outings, meet my friends etc but i count down the minutes till im in bed fast asleep. I look forward to going to bed, it literally is complete peace of mind. The thoughts of having to commit to going somewhere gives me a panic attack. I know that I should be seeing a professional and I was extreeemely lucky that I had the most wonderful psychiatrist looking after me in 2007, and i know that I could go back and he would be like a father and comfort me and cheer me up. However how do you go about saying that you "don't like what you look like".

Ok now i really am ranting. It's nearly 10, hopefully be asleep by quarter past

One more thing. The expression "you have your health", well it's not much good if you don't have good mental health. Sigh.

C_Dawg · 15-07-2010 10:46pm

shadow12345 wrote: »

One more thing. The expression "you have your health", well it's not much good if you don't have good mental health. Sigh.

Well said.

Hang on in there, things have to get better

Pat D. Almighty · 15-07-2010 11:20pm

Started taking anti-depressants today for the first time. Not sure if I like them. Felt like a cross between the high of ecstasy and the paranoia of smoking weed. Is that an initial thing or is it like that every time?

ashblag · 15-07-2010 11:22pm

Just sitting here listening to the lashing rain outside. I'm finding it oddly theraputic and calming!!!!!

ashblag · 15-07-2010 11:26pm

Pat D. Almighty wrote: »

Started taking anti-depressants today for the first time. Not sure if I like them. Felt like a cross between the high of ecstasy and the paranoia of smoking weed. Is that an initial thing or is it like that every time?

It's all different for different people. I should think it's just an initial thing my friend. Give it time they take a while to even out. Any real worries about them go back to your doctor,

RubyXI · 16-07-2010 10:53am

Oh god. I've a driving lesson this weekend. I'm finding it very tough anxiety wise and it doesn't help tat i'm crap at it. I'm dreading it but i dpn't want to quit coz i have to learn something.

mickman · 16-07-2010 11:06am

Pat D. Almighty wrote: »

Started taking anti-depressants today for the first time. Not sure if I like them. Felt like a cross between the high of ecstasy and the paranoia of smoking weed. Is that an initial thing or is it like that every time?

no offense but maybe the fact that you have tried both ecstasy and weed (both mind altering substances) is part of the reason you find yourself having to take these anti depressants now

Pat D. Almighty · 16-07-2010 2:53pm

mickman wrote: »

no offense but maybe the fact that you have tried both ecstasy and weed (both mind altering substances) is part of the reason you find yourself having to take these anti depressants now

Even if it was the reason, do you think that saying something like that is gonna help someone who has depression???? Get off your high horse you self-righteous ****.
Only ever did pills maybe 5 times in my quarter of a century on this planet. I've had depression long before I ever experimented with drugs/alcohol.

mickman · 16-07-2010 3:01pm

Pat D. Almighty wrote: »

Even if it was the reason, do you think that saying something like that is gonna help someone who has depression???? Get off your high horse you self-righteous ****.
Only ever did pills maybe 5 times in my quarter of a century on this planet. I've had depression long before I ever experimented with drugs/alcohol.

havent u ever read the potential side effects of "pills" as you call them. one tablet of ecstasy can damage your mental health for life

Bebs · 16-07-2010 3:07pm

mickman wrote: »

havent u ever read the potential side effects of "pills" as you call them. one tablet of ecstasy can damage your mental health for life

What's your point? Are you saying that he's responsible for his mental health problems?

mickman · 16-07-2010 3:08pm

Bebs wrote: »

What's your point? Are you saying that he's responsible for his mental health problems?

potentially yes, ecstasy and other "pills" can cause mental health problems

Bebs · 16-07-2010 3:10pm

mickman wrote: »

potentially yes, ecstasy and other "pills" can cause mental health problems

Ok, so what did you hope to achieve by voicing such an opinion?

mickman · 16-07-2010 3:12pm

Bebs wrote: »

Ok, so what did you hope to achieve by voicing such an opinion?

nothing but i dont think the poster should be comparing his taking of anti depressants to a mixture of the feelings he had when he was taking multiple kinds of mind altering drugs. its not a good thing to be posting in this forum for people who may have to take these meds and not want to experience what it feels like to be on "ecstacy" and "weed"

Bebs · 16-07-2010 3:15pm

mickman wrote: »

nothing but i dont think the poster should be comparing his taking of anti depressants to a mixture of the feelings he had when he was taking multiple kinds of mind altering drugs. its not a good thing to be posting in this forum for people who may have to take these meds and not want to experience what it feels like to be on "ecstacy" and "weed"

Aren't anti-depressants also mind altering drugs? Do you think it'd bother people to know that there were similarities between the experiences or does it just bother you?

mickman · 16-07-2010 3:20pm

of course it would bother people. a lot of people are nervous about starting antid's and dont want to think they will experience the feelings of weed and ecstasy (where they see adds all over the internet about the frightening effects of both drugs)

and lets face it , anti d's are a little safer then ecstasy

i have never taken either so it dosent bother me one way or the other. but if you read the posts on this forum there are a lot of nervous people on it and they dont want to listen to this guy spouting the simillarites between anti d's and ecstasy

i-digress · 16-07-2010 3:21pm

mickman wrote: »

nothing but i dont think the poster should be comparing his taking of anti depressants to a mixture of the feelings he had when he was taking multiple kinds of mind altering drugs. its not a good thing to be posting in this forum for people who may have to take these meds and not want to experience what it feels like to be on "ecstacy" and "weed"

We're all grown ups here though. And this thread is meant to be here for people to talk about their experiences of coping with an illness with a huge social stigma. It's meant to be open and welcoming. And I think the poster was trying to find out whether his reaction to his meds are normal or not, using the nearest comparison to the sensation that he could think of.

He wasn't saying they were the same, he was asking was his reaction normal. Looking for support, like we all are.

mickman · 16-07-2010 3:23pm

i-digress wrote: »

We're all grown ups here though. And this thread is meant to be here for people to talk about their experiences of coping with an illness with a huge social stigma. It's meant to be open and welcoming. And I think the poster was trying to find out whether his reaction to his meds are normal or not, using the nearest comparison to the sensation that he could think of.

He wasn't saying they were the same, he was asking was his reaction normal. Looking for support, like we all are.

grand. everyone is entitled to their opinion but i dont agree with it.

Bebs · 16-07-2010 3:25pm

Perhaps I have more faith in people but I'd like to believe that they're well capable of making up their own minds when it comes to judging claims about medication.

Anyway, blaming this gentleman's mental illness on his drug use which neither you nor I know much of anything about is a bit different from protecting the innocent forum goers from spurious claims about medication.

i-digress · 16-07-2010 3:32pm

Pat D., I'm on effexor and although I find that I'm a little numb, I don't usually have the effects that you describe. If it's really getting to you maybe go back to your doctor, it might be that that particular one doesn't agree with you.

holden1 · 16-07-2010 3:50pm

I can't find any work at all, my wife of 18 years does not understand this as she is a civil servant and has thrown me out of the house, I had no prsi stamps left so was not getting a dole payment, as my wife earns a lot. I loved her so much. now the tax payer is paying my dole and my rent.
I bet there is a lot of men out there like this and that there will be a lot more. I allways belived in feminism but how many men with good jobs end their marriage over money. I loved her so much I can't take this anymore I have now starting drinking I can't stop crying and really just whant to die.

men are people too:(

mickman · 16-07-2010 3:53pm

holden1 wrote: »

I can't find any work at all, my wife of 18 years does not understand this as she is a civil servant and has thrown me out of the house, I had no prsi stamps left so was not getting a dole payment, as my wife earns a lot. I loved her so much. now the tax payer is paying my dole and my rent.
I bet there is a lot of men out there like this and that there will be a lot more. I allways belived in feminism but how many men with good jobs end their marriage over money. I loved her so much I can't take this anymore I have now starting drinking I can't stop crying and really just whant to die.

men are people too:(

how did she manage to throw you out of the house? stop drinking and get back into the house, its half yours as well as hers. if she wants a divorce let her do it and take half of what she has. stop letting her walk all over you

Bebs · 16-07-2010 4:14pm

Exactly. Go see a solicitor or free legal aid centre. Get to know what you're entitled to and what she can and can't do.

holden1 · 16-07-2010 4:34pm

Bebs wrote: »

Exactly. Go see a solicitor or free legal aid centre. Get to know what you're entitled to and what she can and can't do.

and to mickman too thanks youre prob right

Bebs · 16-07-2010 5:02pm

You're better off knowing your rights and getting as much information as possible. If nothing else it keeps you motivated and has you working towards something.

It's rough but it's not the end of the world.

Pat D. Almighty · 16-07-2010 6:15pm

mickman wrote: »

grand. everyone is entitled to their opinion but i dont agree with it.

what do you not agree with exactly?

RubyXI · 16-07-2010 6:43pm

Ah lads lets not be turning on eachother. We're here to help eachother through this.

Bebs · 16-07-2010 7:17pm

Pat D. Almighty wrote: »

what do you not agree with exactly?

From what I gather he believes that you shouldn't be comparing illegal mind altering drugs with the legal kind as it will make people feel insecure about their own medication. So I think he disagrees with you making such a statement.

Pat D. Almighty · 16-07-2010 7:31pm

Bebs wrote: »

From what I gather he believes that you shouldn't be comparing illegal mind altering drugs with the legal kind as it will make people feel insecure about their own medication. So I think he disagrees with you making such a statement.

Well that's a bit silly...... in my opinion of course

LegacyUser · 17-07-2010 2:52am

So how's the mental health today?

Ive found a new way to combat my leaving the house fear. Sunglasses. It's like wearing a disguise, when im not making eye contact I feel like a different person!

Does anyone know of any support groups that we can attend? I know that OCD ireland run a few but any time ive emailed them they havent been very supportive.
Also im not sure if we're allowed suggest publications but i'm reading a book now that I find quite good and i'd recommend it to people. Even if it doesnt work for you, you can at least be proud of yourself for giving it a go

it's called "Shoot the damn dog"- Sally Brampton.

I walked 5 miles in the hope that it would have me fast asleep by 11. Clearly that didn't work. Maybe ill count some sheep.....

C_Dawg · 17-07-2010 12:39pm

Check out the aware.ie They do support groups all over the country.

There is Grow too - it's based along the AA style 12 steps. I tried it once but it wasn't my cuppa tea at all.

superbad50 · 17-07-2010 2:39pm

hi guys. i too have been suffering from anxiety/depression for several years. I am currently on Lustral. I have managed to wind myself down to 50mg under the doctor's orders. of late I can feel myself getting worse. Having recently been made redundant I am having negative thoughts of , if I get a new job will I be able to do the job with my stress levels being so bad. I feel a nervous wreck. small events such as going the shop makes me go all fussy and nervous. My quality of life has really been affected. I am trying so hard but the only thing that comes into my head are negative thoughts. A lot of the time I feel like it is an effort to talk, my chest feels so tight.

doesnt help the matter that i have a mortgage, bills,etc. confidence and self esteem have been shattered and isnt quite there at the minute, ie to find employment, even if i wanted to

mickman · 17-07-2010 7:54pm

Pat D. Almighty wrote: »

Well that's a bit silly...... in my opinion of course

whats silly about it. i dont come on these forums to hear about your past of taking illegal drugs. you say you took them ONLY five times while you have been on this earth. do you want a medal for that?

maybe its time you started to respect your body, respect the law, respect something / anything, aspire to something / set some goals for yourself and maybe, just maybe you wont be so depressed

Bebs · 17-07-2010 8:55pm

mickman wrote: »

whats silly about it. i dont come on these forums to hear about your past of taking illegal drugs. you say you took them ONLY five times while you have been on this earth. do you want a medal for that?

maybe its time you started to respect your body, respect the law, respect something / anything, aspire to something / set some goals for yourself and maybe, just maybe you wont be so depressed

This thread is about anxiety and depression. If you have a problem with this gentleman can you please keep it to personal messages? Seeing you condemning someone who posted honestly will probably turn more people away from this thread than anything that has been said here about illegal drugs.

Odysseus · 17-07-2010 11:38pm

It would seem to me that if a person was depressed or anxious and had a history of drug they would be put off posting here. Drug users are treated very badly in this country, I posted a recent thread in the health sciences forum about it. Form an outsider looking it, I would say this thread needs to be non-judgemental.

Edit: Just to state some you know I'm a therapist and I also do a lot of work with drug users, in my opinion lads you have been doing a great job supporting each other, it would be a shame to see that going down the tubes.

LegacyUser · 17-07-2010 11:56pm

Mick you're clearly being very supportive...good work! No wait, you're not. The guy didnt ask to be judged for what he has done in the past, although nice of you to suggest that he's suffering from depression from that. Nothing good to say then say nothing at all? And all that jazz?

Superbad sorry to hear that you've been having a few bad days. Congratulate yourself for being able to go to the shops, although for some it may seem like a pretty normal thing to do, for others it's not so easy. So well done

commend yourself for doing those "little" things and you'll encourage positive thinking.

When I had my episode in 2007 I lived on icepops and icecubes, something small, but it worked for me. They cheered me up in fact! (er, that's a bit random, but try one and see!!)

mickman · 18-07-2010 4:34pm

ok . i apologise

sam34 · 18-07-2010 9:41pm

mickman,

this thread is a supportive thread for those who have depression and anxiety.

it is not a place for criticisms/judgements/moral condemnations of someone's lifestyle choices.

if that doesnt suit your agenda, please dont post here again

George Orwell 1982 · 19-07-2010 1:59pm

God awful day today. I feel like I barely exist.

mickman · 19-07-2010 2:08pm

why so, whats up

George Orwell 1982 · 19-07-2010 2:17pm

Nothing in particular, just woke up tired and feeling very down and anxious. Thats just it - it would be better if there was some specific reason. Its a problem thats being going on so long at this stage that it doesn't even matter how it ever started in the first place. I'm just stuck suffering all the time and I feel its slowly killing me.

I'm getting professional help and doing everything I can to make my life work but I'm really struggling at the same time.

mickman · 19-07-2010 2:26pm

that happens the best of us man. we all get up feeling anxious from time to time.

you just need to try and say to yourself, "today is an anxious day, tomorrow wont be"

tikkaman · 19-07-2010 6:51pm

hi mate,

with regard to feeling crap, believe me i've noticed that when i feel tired

that my mood really is down, the worlds on my shoulders, my thinking's all over the place,

settle yourself down and concentrate on something good...

ATB.

tikkaman.

George Orwell 1982 · 19-07-2010 8:43pm

Cheers tikkaman, I didn't feel so bad today when I got out of work. Need to get a plan together for my mood in the mornings.

LegacyUser · 20-07-2010 10:49pm

Hey George,

Sorry that you're havin a **** day. I used to find that I woke up in complete panic too. It was awful so I know how you're feeling. The way I used to combat it was to set myself something to tend to. For me that involved concentrating on having a shower...cause there were days (upon days) where I somehow forgot to. I got a great feeling from the achievement of washing myself.

It's the small things that go a long way. Little steps

Also, i'm planning on going to my first aware meeting tomorrow in dublin...anyone else venturing to it?

bob50 · 20-07-2010 10:56pm

shadow12345 wrote: »

Hey George,

Sorry that you're havin a **** day. I used to find that I woke up in complete panic too. It was awful so I know how you're feeling. The way I used to combat it was to set myself something to tend to. For me that involved concentrating on having a shower...cause there were days (upon days) where I somehow forgot to. I got a great feeling from the achievement of washing myself.

It's the small things that go a long way. Little steps

Also, i'm planning on going to my first aware meeting tomorrow in dublin...anyone else venturing to it?

Yeah i went to them a lot in the last 2 years they are quite informative and useful also confidential you dont have to speak about yourself you dont want to just sit back and listen

LegacyUser · 20-07-2010 11:54pm

Really? Thanks for letting me know, wasnt sure what to expect! Ill be the silent one in the corner :O kinda lookin forward to it though, something to look forward to where I know people will understand!

Ill let ya know how it goes...

So how's everyones sleeping pattern these days?

C_Dawg · 21-07-2010 12:46am

Still up half the night and sleeping in til the afternoon - great times lol

cookiemixer · 22-07-2010 1:00am

I'm kinda of suprised to hear someone slate off support groups just because they don't like the emails they have gotten. I have a friend who has contacted them and was happy with the info they got from that and form the free public talk they went to last yr. Also they have used the support group and found it helpful. I don't think aware and grow are about OCD anyways

C_Dawg · 24-07-2010 9:41pm

Another Saturday night stuck in, anyone about?

RubyXI · 24-07-2010 10:40pm

C_Dawg wrote: »

Another Saturday night stuck in, anyone about?

Shur where else would we be

Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

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