Fading Good Looks

IK09 · 17-11-2018 2:37pm

The only difference I've noticed is you go from being called "gorgeous" to being called "handsome".

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 17-11-2018 2:41pm

Spleerbun wrote: »

In those kind of jobs you pretty much have to tolerate it from everyone, no option.

What I meant was were difficult interactions with women more likely to annoy you? It was a throwaway wonderment. I found that sometimes the difficult female customers annoyed me more simply because their voices would get more high-pitched than a man’s voice would. So I’d remember them for longer. But were there more difficult female customers than difficult males? Not in my own experience.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 17-11-2018 2:45pm

Duke Domino wrote: »

Just asked my wife,who was a manger in retail for years, who were the worst to demographic to deal with?

Without hesitation, "school moms".

Is your wife getting to a stage in her life where aging is beginning to haunt her, as per your below post?

Just curious!

Duke Domino wrote: »

The loss of power they experience as they age haunts them.

Zorya · 17-11-2018 2:52pm

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Is your wife getting to a stage in her life where aging is beginning to haunt her, as per your below post? Just curious!

Every 'haunted' woman over 40. -

:pac:

Spleerbun · 17-11-2018 2:54pm

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

What I meant was were difficult interactions with women more likely to annoy you? It was a throwaway wonderment. I found that sometimes the difficult female customers annoyed me more simply because their voices would get more high-pitched than a man’s voice would. So I’d remember them for longer. But were there more difficult female customers than difficult males? Not in my own experience.

Ah I get you. Well I wouldn't have thought so tbh, but then I never psycho analysed myself or my interactions with them! In general I guess I just found them more likely to feel they could bully you to get what they wanted, way less likely to let something go, just like a dog with a bone yanno. A bit nastier or something. Plenty of bad male customers too don't get me wrong. Luckily that's all long behind me anyway

RobbingBandit · 17-11-2018 3:01pm

Looks mean nothing without a touch of charm and humour

Translation thank **** for brazzers

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 17-11-2018 3:06pm

Spleerbun wrote: »

Ah I get you. Well I wouldn't have thought so tbh, but then I never psycho analysed myself or my interactions with them! In general I guess I just found them more likely to feel they could bully you to get what they wanted, way less likely to let something go, just like a dog with a bone yanno. A bit nastier or something. Plenty of bad male customers too don't get me wrong. Luckily that's all long behind me anyway

Well, I found that to survive secondary school and its concomitant mean girls, I had to acquire a slightly bitchy facade to get through it intact. :pac: I’m sure I’m not alone and maybe that stays with many of us throughout our lives.

Duke Domino wrote: »

No she is one of the lucky women who have authentic self esteem and love in their life, so she doesn't get bitter at younger women who get more attention.

Realz authentic self-esteem? Wow.

Sgt Hartman · 17-11-2018 3:07pm

I'm still fresh faced at 39, especially when I'm clean shaven although the hair is getting more and more grey strands, especially at the sides so lately I'm going for a zero back and sides like a marine.

WhiteMemento9 · 17-11-2018 3:18pm

wakka12 wrote: »

Depends on the person. I know 25 year olds how look absolutely haggard, male and female

Speaking of ageing well des bishop looked so good on rte last night. I never thought he was attractive before and he looks so different now but way better with a bit of ageing, definitely suits some people and others not so much

How much though is it aging well or looking after yourself? Yes, people will age better than others and a portion of it is genetics but a large amount of it comes down to how you treat yourself. I mean Des clearly spends quite a bit of time looking after his appearance, training in the gym and he has abstained from alcohol since his teens. My brother is a bit of a fitness fanatic and looks after his appearance. I always laugh inwardly when someone turns to him usually with envy and makes some comment like time has been kind to you, isn't it well for some. They seem to completely ignore the fact he eats incredibly healthy, trains 4/5 times a week etc. It is like people want to block out the hard work it takes to keep a decent appearance past a certain age and just want to blame it all on genetics.

Gimme A Pound · 17-11-2018 4:03pm

And I've good skin because I stay in the shade when it's hot, or wear a high SPF. My mother is the same. Her mother on the other hand was like a prune from long stays at her friend's holiday home in Tenerife.

Emme · 17-11-2018 4:07pm

Duke Domino wrote: »

The loss of power they experience as they age haunts them.

Loss of power indeed. No power to do anything when their elderly mother or father has been lying in agony on an A&E trolley for 24 hours or more. No power to speed up traffic when they have to be in 3 places at once. No power to get other family members to help with a difficult elderly relative. No power to speed up the health service to help deal with a depressed son or daughter who is on his or her third suicide attempt. No power to stop cancer spreading through the body of her beloved partner. No power to console a daughter whose child has been diagnosed with a terminal illness. No power to stop a child or grandchild worrying incessantly about exams. Those are the realities middle-aged women are dealing with along with increased pressures at work.

If middle-aged women are haunted by their supposed loss of power to attract men they have done very little with their lives indeed.

BeerWolf · 17-11-2018 4:07pm

34, got a lot of white hairs on the sides and thinning on top...

QQ

Another 10 years I'll just have to do what any balding fella does... shaved head.

eviltwin · 17-11-2018 4:11pm

Had some bad news yesterday. A good friend, 39 has terminal cancer. I don't know if she will reach 40 but I'm sure if she does she won't complain about being old, she'll celebrate it. We all get older and rather than moan about it or allow others to make us think the passing of time makes us invisible or irrelevant, we should embrace surviving another year.

Gimme A Pound · 17-11-2018 4:18pm

Spleerbun wrote: »

Ah I get you. Well I wouldn't have thought so tbh, but then I never psycho analysed myself or my interactions with them! In general I guess I just found them more likely to feel they could bully you to get what they wanted, way less likely to let something go, just like a dog with a bone yanno. A bit nastier or something. Plenty of bad male customers too don't get me wrong. Luckily that's all long behind me anyway

Maybe it depends on the type of service - some may be more likely to have female customers? It was honestly 50/50 where I worked - a reflection of life.

That said, you've touched upon an interesting point. It is more of a woman thing (although not exclusively) to become emotional and play the victim and expect special treatment ("I'm a mother" etc) and on the flip side, perhaps there is a subconscious expectation for women to be gentler and kinder. I do think that is part of people taking more notice of female managers being cuntts.

My father hated Margaret Thatcher - one of my abiding memories of being a small kid was him shouting profanity at the TV when she appeared.

Yet... he thought Reagan was great. Huge admiration for the man. Why? Their politics were virtually identical. Simple - Thatcher as a woman shouldn't have been so tough. She should have been gentler, more nurturing. A man being tough - well that's fine, it's what men have to do.

Now he meant absolutely no harm with that view - but I think that view endures at a subconscious level. And again, it's not insulting per se but it has no nuance.

Another thing is, while some men are c*nts and some women are c*nts, there are often different "techniques" used - men more likely to be straight up aggressive, women more likely to be snide and passive aggressive, the latter of course being more infuriating.

RabbleRouser2k · 17-11-2018 4:24pm

Bianca Fat Conductor wrote: »

Maybe it depends on the type of service - some may be more likely to have female customers? It was honestly 50/50 where I worked - a reflection of life.

That said, you've touched upon an interesting point. It is more of a woman thing (although not exclusively) to become emotional and play the victim and expect special treatment ("I'm a mother" etc) and on the flip side, perhaps there is a subconscious expectation for women to be gentler and kinder. I do think that is part of people taking more notice of female managers being cuntts.

My father hated Margaret Thatcher - one of my abiding memories of being a small kid was him shouting profanity at the TV when she appeared. Yet... he thought Reagan was great. Huge admiration for the man. Why? Their politics were virtually identical. Simple - Thatcher as a woman shouldn't have been so tough. She should have been gentler, more nurturing. A man being tough - well that's fine, it's what men have to do.

Now he meant absolutely no harm with that view - but I think that view endures at a subconscious level. And again, it's not insulting per se but it has no nuance.

Another thing is, while some men are c*nts and some women are c*nts, there are often different "techniques" used - men more likely to be straight up aggressive, women more likely to be snide and passive aggressive, the latter of course bring more infuriating.

Thatcher presided over a government during the Bobby Sands era. Of course people hated her, and still did.

Case in point-Thatcher died, Ding Dong the Witch is Dead sails up the charts-in England. Reagan died, there was days of mourning and discussion on his legacy.

Thatcher had a larger effect on Ireland and the Irish people than Reagan did. I find your point is a lacking a little in research. IF you were to say Tony Blair, now...now there's a guy who would get people shouting at the tv. Whether it was his total mishandling of the Foot and Mouth crisis, or his total mess up of the Invasion of Iraq. Blair was a total parasite.

Gimme A Pound · 17-11-2018 4:44pm

My father was seriously anti provo too, should have included that. No time for Bobby Sands et al.

Some men (mostly just on the internet) like to tell themselves that women are worse than men - and even do so via constant re-registering and pretending they have a wife, who just so happens to be nothing like all the other awful women and sees past his misogyny, but if you don't have confirmation bias you'll see it's 50/50. Men and women are different for sure, but most are reasonable people with the same fundamental traits.

Despite all the baiting on this thread about how women in their late 30s onwards are bitter and "haunted", not one such woman has actually posted anything to support this! It's the re-regs and their fans who are the ones getting worked up.

I doubt any such woman feels insulted by men fancying younger women (lol at the guy who pretended to be apologetic about it with the sad emoticon

) - it's natural, of course men will. And we've all had our chance.

What we take exception to is the insistence that there is absolutely no way a woman could be attractive or desirable from her late 30s on. And the nonsense that middle aged men who become single will only end up with women 15/20 years younger - nobody else. Yeah because reality really bears that out - no middle-aged men ever enter relationships with women their own age. Ever.

LETHAL LADY · 17-11-2018 6:13pm

Irish people were never going to win prizes for their looks. Male or female we've faces like a miniature dog ****.
God bless the fool who thinks he/she is any different.

LETHAL LADY · 17-11-2018 6:25pm

Let Us In wrote: »

Indians are unquestionably the ugliest race out there.

I'd lean toward Pakistan folks.

Spleerbun · 17-11-2018 6:29pm

Seeing as it looks like this thread is going down this route anyway, my two cents:

For women at least, in order of looks: 1) eastern European 2) South American 3) southern European . In that order.

Broad and generalised yes, but I stand by it!

Gimme A Pound · 17-11-2018 6:32pm

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

Irish people were never going to win prizes for their looks. Male or female we've faces like a miniature dog ****.
God bless the fool who thinks he/she is any different.

A person who tells themselves that "we" all have faces like a miniature dog **** and nobody here looks any different to that whatsoever, is the deluded one.

LETHAL LADY · 17-11-2018 7:20pm

Bianca Fat Conductor wrote: »

A person who tells themselves that "we" all have faces like a miniature dog **** and nobody here looks any different to that whatsoever, is the deluded one.

I was hardly being serious 😋

JustAYoungLad · 17-11-2018 7:26pm

Wibbs wrote: »

Or maybe women filter like this to winnow out the guys who are less socially aware? Which makes perfect sense. Women have been historically very vulnerable, so filtering out the "odder" men, who will likely be fine, even nice, but true dangerous men would be more among their number, or be in favour of those more clued in socially who better navigate the world and on the surface at least , look less dangerous to them.Makes for good practice overall I reckon. I have found that Women™ are much more sensitive in this regard and research bears this out.

This tbh

completedit · 17-11-2018 9:08pm

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

Irish people were never going to win prizes for their looks. Male or female we've faces like a miniature dog ****.
God bless the fool who thinks he/she is any different.

I always see this and never understood it. There's so many good looking Irish people. Just because your wrecked doesn't mean we all are

paleoperson · 17-11-2018 9:14pm

completedit wrote: »

I always see this and never understood it. There's so many good looking Irish people. Just because your wrecked doesn't mean we all are

fwiw I wrote a reply attacking that post, but then it seemed maybe a bit over the top and I deleted it. It's so unfunny and untrue, but I guess there might be someone out there laughing to themselves over it. Best honestly to just stay away from this forum altogether if you don't want to read bad posts.

Gimme A Pound · 17-11-2018 9:43pm

To be fair, Lethal Lady did clarify that she wasn't being serious.

Some idiots do say stuff like that without irony though, that's why I thought she was being serious.

Wibbs · 17-11-2018 11:09pm

Bianca Fat Conductor wrote: »

Some men (mostly just on the internet) like to tell themselves that women are worse than men - and even do so via constant re-registering and pretending they have a wife, who just so happens to be nothing like all the other awful women and sees past his misogyny, but if you don't have confirmation bias you'll see it's 50/50. Men and women are different for sure, but most are reasonable people with the same fundamental traits.

Quoted for truth.

completedit wrote: »

I always see this and never understood it. There's so many good looking Irish people. Just because your wrecked doesn't mean we all are

True enough C. I would say that some populations tend to have more better looking people, men and women, on average. But I have also found the same populations tend to have more.. let's just say awkward looking people as well? Irish folks tend to have "pleasant" faces, less extreme in either direction. If you know what I mean? Take say Russian Women™, yes you can see total slavic stunners alright, but there can be a harshness to it and in others it goes too harsh. I'd also say our general personalities tend to be less extreme too. It depends on local culture of course, but I have found Irish men and women tend to operate on a more easy going, less rigid "you man, me woman" type dynamic.

Zorya · 18-11-2018 9:06am

Suezcanal wrote: »

I think you probably get more bitter women than men due to fading looks, from the age of 14 or so most girls begin to realise the power that comes with female sexuality, they notice how boys behave differently around them. This then extends into adulthood. They realise they can subtly use their sexuality to serve their self interests.

Most men don't expereince any form of sexual power, a small minority will have power due being in demand sexually to women. Women notice their power doesn't have the same affect on these men, it's precisely for this reason that their attraction towards these men becomes amplified.

You often hear women say they become "invisible" when the get to middle age, they haven't become "invisible", they jist lost their power which most men never had, you could say they just lose their privilege when they hit middle age. This manifests itself in many some middle aged women by becoming bitter and resentful, especially those who traded on their looks aand took great pleasure in their power.

Ahhh musha, not getting the ride does strange things to a young fella's brain.

Zorya · 18-11-2018 9:30am

Suezcanal wrote: »

If you're not getting "da ride" I have a tip for you. Never try to impress women, flip the script and have them impress you.

Oh, riiight, you're 'that' guy. I forgot that you usually show up on a Sunday morning.

riclad · 18-11-2018 6:32pm

I think beautiful people grow up with people being nice to them,
people flirting with them.
They may not even realise the advantage they have .
Maybe they might have an advantage when it comes to getting certain jobs, tv presenting, etc
there,s not many ugly models out there .
It helps to look good if you want the lead role in a play ,tv drama .
I think there,s loads of good lucking irish people out there .
It,s like you wake up one day, people call you sir, madam, you no longer know what music is in the charts .
you are happy to stay in on saturday and watch tv.
You are now middle aged .
Its a gradual process .
Go to certain trendy clothes shops ,they only hire young attractive people .

professore · 20-11-2018 1:41am

Pretzeluck wrote: »

Hard to argue with that. For how many years have you been with the same woman and did you have any side action in the meantime? Do you not get bored after 15 years of the same thing?

No side action although I've had several offers, all from women who knew I was married. Of course you get bored to some extent. It would need to be something extra special to tempt me, and I ain't that attractive. Would need to be an emotional as well as physical attraction. There was one woman who if things had gone a certain way I can't say for certain I wouldn't have strayed - but she was a good one and if she wasn't I wouldn't have been attracted in the first place. I'd get a divorce though if it ever came to it. I hate cheating.

professore · 20-11-2018 1:48am

Bianca Fat Conductor wrote: »

Most? Doubt it. Harsh!

People always go on about the horrible middle aged women they encounter in customer service. As someone who worked in it for years, there is an equal proportion of appalling men. But confirmation bias.

My daughter worked in several customer service roles and it was virtually always the middle aged women customers and a few bosses that gave her the most self righteous grief. There is definitely a jealousy thing going on there.

professore · 20-11-2018 1:54am

Emme wrote: »

Loss of power indeed. No power to do anything when their elderly mother or father has been lying in agony on an A&E trolley for 24 hours or more. No power to speed up traffic when they have to be in 3 places at once. No power to get other family members to help with a difficult elderly relative. No power to speed up the health service to help deal with a depressed son or daughter who is on his or her third suicide attempt. No power to stop cancer spreading through the body of her beloved partner. No power to console a daughter whose child has been diagnosed with a terminal illness. No power to stop a child or grandchild worrying incessantly about exams. Those are the realities middle-aged women are dealing with along with increased pressures at work.

If middle-aged women are haunted by their supposed loss of power to attract men they have done very little with their lives indeed.

Middle aged men have all of the above too. I've done and continue to do most of the above. Particularly when you have no sisters around. Still didn't make me a grumpy bastard. In fact women and people in general who have more difficulties tend to be nicer. The ones with the designer clothes and the botox paid for by the rich husband are the real *****.

professore · 20-11-2018 1:57am

Bianca Fat Conductor wrote: »

Maybe it depends on the type of service - some may be more likely to have female customers? It was honestly 50/50 where I worked - a reflection of life.

That said, you've touched upon an interesting point. It is more of a woman thing (although not exclusively) to become emotional and play the victim and expect special treatment ("I'm a mother" etc) and on the flip side, perhaps there is a subconscious expectation for women to be gentler and kinder. I do think that is part of people taking more notice of female managers being cuntts.

My father hated Margaret Thatcher - one of my abiding memories of being a small kid was him shouting profanity at the TV when she appeared. Yet... he thought Reagan was great. Huge admiration for the man. Why? Their politics were virtually identical. Simple - Thatcher as a woman shouldn't have been so tough. She should have been gentler, more nurturing. A man being tough - well that's fine, it's what men have to do.

Now he meant absolutely no harm with that view - but I think that view endures at a subconscious level. And again, it's not insulting per se but it has no nuance.

Another thing is, while some men are c*nts and some women are c*nts, there are often different "techniques" used - men more likely to be straight up aggressive, women more likely to be snide and passive aggressive, the latter of course being more infuriating.

Reagan was great craic. Thatcher was as dry as fcuk. Theresa May isn't a bad auld skin.

professore · 20-11-2018 1:59am

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

I'd lean toward Pakistan folks.

Aborigines for me.

heretothere · 20-11-2018 4:01am

My best years were def my early 20s but I got ID'd last week and chatted up by a 22 yr old on a night out recently. Not bad for a 30 yr old. I do think the 1st night I am not offered a drink I will be a little sad (I never take it, I don't want lads wasting their money on something that is not going to happen!) But I def think my husband is getting hotter with age.

I do think my body is better now, have to love spinning!!

Gimme A Pound · 20-11-2018 12:50pm

There's barely any difference between how 22 and 30 look.

professore wrote: »

My daughter worked in several customer service roles and it was virtually always the middle aged women customers and a few bosses that gave her the most self righteous grief. There is definitely a jealousy thing going on there.

Professore in "women are worse" shocker!

"Definitely"? Seems to be a few lads here who know what women think. Having mind-reading skills must be great.

No excuse for being a ****, for sure, but you have no idea why they are being a ****. As Emme says, they likely have far bigger concerns like ailing parents, finances, children, physical health issues themselves than not being young anymore.

completedit · 20-11-2018 12:51pm

Bianca Fat Conductor wrote: »

There's barely any difference between how 22 and 30 look.

Professore in "women are worse" shocker!
"Definitely"? Seems to be a few lads here who know what women think. Having mind-reading skills must be great.

Yeah, how do people drop off so much? I don't even look young I just haven't aged in like 10 years

Zorya · 20-11-2018 2:24pm

completedit wrote: »

Yeah, how do people drop off so much? I don't even look young I just haven't aged in like 10 years

Hang about.

Emme · 20-11-2018 8:37pm

professore wrote: »

Middle aged men have all of the above too. I've done and continue to do most of the above. Particularly when you have no sisters around. Still didn't make me a grumpy bastard. In fact women and people in general who have more difficulties tend to be nicer. The ones with the designer clothes and the botox paid for by the rich husband are the real *****.

Respectfully I disagree that people who have more difficulties tend to be nicer. Some might or they might be nicer after they have gone through the worst. However you will not get through all difficult situations by being nice. I have had to toughen up a lot over.the last few years.

Difficult situations can being chronic stress which can turn both women and men into c***s, especially if it goes on over years and there is no resolution in sight.

Self confessed stressed-out c*** here!

wakka12 · 20-11-2018 9:23pm

Some poeple can look dramatically older between 22 and 30, often because of bad lifestyle though, but usually not a big change for most people. just gradual little bit of maturity of the face

mariaalice · 20-11-2018 9:36pm

All the middle age women I know are having a ball even with a lot of family responsibility for one, but they wouldn't be the type to be interested in their look in the first place. It comes across as very self-absorbed to worried about your looks as an adult its a very teenagery concern.

Emme · 21-11-2018 11:21am

mariaalice wrote: »

All the middle age women I know are having a ball even with a lot of family responsibility for one, but they wouldn't be the type to be interested in their look in the first place. It comes across as very self-absorbed to worried about your looks as an adult its a very teenagery concern.

I don't mean to be disrespectful but if they're having a ball they haven't got very much family responsibility or if they do they have a lot of help dealing with it.

Graces7 · 21-11-2018 11:31am

Emme wrote: »

I don't mean to be disrespectful but if they're having a ball they haven't got very much family responsibility or if they do they have a lot of help dealing with it.

Not at all. Many women thrive on family responsibility without any help. As do many men.

Emme · 21-11-2018 12:03pm

Graces7 wrote: »

Not at all. Many women thrive on family responsibility without any help. As do many men.

There are different kinds of family responsibility. There's caring for children you chose to have and also grandchildren which some find very rewarding. Also caring for elderly can be rewarding if you had a good relationship with them and they are not in any discomfort. If you mean those responsibilities fair enough. If you are disagreeing with me for the sake of disagreement please read the following paragraph.

Tell me this: would you enjoy the responsibility of taking somebody to A&E at least once a month, sitting with them until they see a doctor/nurse all the while trying to alleviate their discomfort? Would you like travelling 45 minutes to visit them in hospital after a long day's work and 3 hour round commute to see them in hospital? Trying to calm them and track down a nurse because they have been moved to a different ward yet again? Trying to keep your eyes open to talk to them even though they may not be fully able to understand?

Trying to comfort their spouse who is hysterical with worry? Then dealing with their spouse's health issues? Seeing both of them reach death's door several times and make a miraculous comeback but with a much reduced quality of life. Dealing with all of that alone because your partner bailed and your siblings live abroad and don't want anything to do with anything. Also try to deal with your own health issues in the meantime so you can be well enough to keep helping them and hold down a job to make ends meet?

Giving up making all plans to see friends and have any kind of social outlet because you always have to cancel because of some crisis. Having a meltdown after coming out of the one exercise class you managed to take in 6 months because there is a message on your phone saying that one of your charges needs urgent attention?

How in hell can anyone thrive on those responsibilities alone or indeed with help? Unless of course they enjoying watching others suffer.

Fading Good Looks

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