Housemates who lliterally live in their rooms

pgj2015 · 06-12-2017 1:41pm

Jesus from the responces here I have to say some people are awful dry ****es, I wouldnt mind if you live with a bunch of arseholes but most people are pretty sound. We all neeed some time alone in our rooms but not the whole time, that is like being in a prison. Same people who hide in their rooms are probably the very people who tell interviewers they are a people person.

orangerhyme · 06-12-2017 1:44pm

bucketybuck wrote: »

Just to pick up on this, I'm not sure why you think paying rent has any bearing on how sociable you are. Is it supposed to mean that because you are paying rent you should get the full value or something like that?

Most people are paying rent in a house share because they can't afford their own place, and if they could afford their own place they would be gone in two seconds flat and certainly wouldn't be moving in some strangers so they could have a chat.

Somebody who keeps to themselves in a flat is no different to a house owner who keeps to himself instead of calling into his neighbours every evening for supper.

Imagine your neighbours said hello when they passed you on the street but never called over or tried to be best friends, would they be classed as weirdos?

The neighbours analogy doesn't quite work. It's different. You don't see your neighbours every day. You're not sharing a space and toilet etc.
It's makes sense to be friendly with your housemates on some level, not best mates or anything, but casual enough. There needs to be a sense of trust and socialising a bit helps with that.

I think also by the time people reach their mid to late 20's they become more selective in who they spend time with.

weldoninhio · 06-12-2017 1:45pm

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

That only thing that kept me going when house sharing was the knowledge that I was saving money and getting the deposit together for a house. If I could have rented a place on my own for the cost of the house share, I'd have been gone like a shot.

That’s getting harder and harder to do now, even with houseshares.

somefeen · 06-12-2017 1:47pm

Chrongen wrote: »

Surely you could spend an hour on the couch with a cup of tea or a glass of beer just watching a bit of telly together before splitting off to your room. You don't have to talk much just a few comments on the crap on telly, maybe "another tea/beer, Eddie?", "nah, mate, good with this. Hitting the cot soon."

A little bit of social interaction staves off mental problems.

Nah I appreciate some people want that, but its more effort than its worth for me. Its an hour and when you do want to call it quits you need an excuse because saying you want to be alone now is seen by the extraverted majority as strange or they take it personal.
Its nice to have an auld cuppa and a chat when I've just got in from work though, I'll give you that. I enjoyed that when I lived with similarly inclined people.

OldMrBrennan83 · 06-12-2017 1:47pm

This post has been deleted.

bucketybuck · 06-12-2017 1:55pm

pgj2015 wrote: »

Jesus from the responces here I have to say some people are awful dry ****es, I wouldnt mind if you live with a bunch of arseholes but most people are pretty sound. We all neeed some time alone in our rooms but not the whole time, that is like being in a prison. Same people who hide in their rooms are probably the very people who tell interviewers they are a people person.

orangerhyme wrote: »

The neighbours analogy doesn't quite work. It's different. You don't see your neighbours every day. You're not sharing a space and toilet etc.
It's makes sense to be friendly with your housemates on some level, not best mates or anything, but casual enough. There needs to be a sense of trust and socialising a bit helps with that.

A fact that is being glossed over here is that most of the people being discussed here are actually perfectly friendly and sociable to their flatmates. They will stop for a chat when paths cross in the kitchen, or say hello and have a catch up the odd time when watching TV.

It would be a very small percentage who are actually oddballs that never show their face for weeks at a time. Instead most people are perfectly normal, they just don't want to have communal mealtimes or forced conversation for hours in the evenings.

jamesbere · 06-12-2017 1:57pm

pgj2015 wrote: »

Jesus from the responces here I have to say some people are awful dry ****es, I wouldnt mind if you live with a bunch of arseholes but most people are pretty sound. We all neeed some time alone in our rooms but not the whole time, that is like being in a prison. Same people who hide in their rooms are probably the very people who tell interviewers they are a people person.

I think it can be job related aswell, if your in a job where you have alot of people interaction you don't want to have that interaction when you come home. I think spending all your time in your room is not healthy and a bit of time with your housemates is a good thing. But I can totally understand why someone would stay in there room

pilly · 06-12-2017 1:59pm

My son has a housemate in Canada who keeps her cat in her bedroom and she has it declawed, now that's a weirdo bitch.

I've never seen her cook, only time I've ever seen it her is when she came down to get food for the cat and she freaked me out. She looks like the Grudge!!

zcorpian88 · 06-12-2017 2:07pm

Too much of an effort really after a long day, sometimes you just want peace and quiet.

Really I think anyone that's working should have their own place but Ireland has adopted this backwards BS of having 3 and 4 people housesharing well into their 30's like some student in digs. If you're out working you should be entitled to come back to a space that's all yours instead of having people you don't like in your face for the evening.

I still live at home for this very reason, between that and I'd hate to be living with someone unreliable that could f**k off at a moments notice or loud housemates or messy housemates or even worse, housemates that don't cover their share of a bill that comes in, don't fancy having to carry people.

Plus I'd rather watch some tv series with silence, I couldn't follow it with people talking or coming in and out.

I'm picky about who I'd live with in general, wouldn't want to be stuck with some over-educated lefty snowflake that has to debate every little thing if I say something off the cuff after a long day, which you can't seem to do around these knobs. I would say there is like two people in my big enough friend circle I'd consider living with but they are saving for houses and stuck at home, so I wouldn't push them, plus my own income isn't great, I'd want to be stable myself first.

Mongfinder General · 06-12-2017 3:32pm

pgj2015 wrote: »

Jesus from the responces here I have to say some people are awful dry ****es, I wouldnt mind if you live with a bunch of arseholes but most people are pretty sound. We all neeed some time alone in our rooms but not the whole time, that is like being in a prison. Same people who hide in their rooms are probably the very people who tell interviewers they are a people person.

A people person is probably as bad as it gets in shared accomodation. Constantly in your business talking about mundane, insipid ****e. A bit like Fr Noel Furlong. If I want to socialise I'll go meet friends, play football or fcuk off to the pub. I don't want anybody coming near my front door without an invite. Unknown phone numbers can **** off too.

Church on Tuesday · 06-12-2017 4:02pm

Let's face it, houseshares are not really where most people want to be anyways.

I've had some grim ones. The chances of actually being in a share with people who are genuinely sound is slim to none. Have encountered maybe two people who were normal and friendly.

The lack of common sense with some people is breathtaking sometimes, and the focus on trivial stuff beggars belief.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 06-12-2017 4:21pm

I've had some mental housemates in some very crap houses, definitely ended up living in my room then.

Where I am now, one of my "housemates" is my partner, and the other three are dead sound. Also it's a savage gaff, there's a huge, bright, nice kitchen where two people can cook without being on top of each other, and a separate sitting room with comfy couches, so even if people are cooking or chatting in the kitchen you can watch tv etc in there in peace. I end up spending more time in the communal area for sure, I'm not besties with any of the housemates but I enjoy their company and conversation. People would often have a few drinks together, watch something on TV etc. It's definitely a nicer atmosphere than some other houses where it's been a case of strategising how to get to the shower, get a load of laundry on, get fed and get the fcuk to your room without having to deal with whatever fresh hell these gobshítes have decided passes for conversation.

Still, I've about two hours of people time in me of an evening, and about zero after a work day. I'll read in my room, play games, or if the OH is at work hang out in his room with the hamster.

TerrorFirmer · 06-12-2017 4:23pm

Thankfully since I moved out of home, I've always lived with either girlfriends or friends, so every house has really been an open place where everyone gets along brilliantly. Do communal stuff in the living room sometimes - movies, food, whatever, but spend most of our respective time in our rooms. They're a good size so there's TVs/consoles/PCs in each of them.

Would hate now at this point to have to live with strangers. Not that I wouldn't get on with new people or anything like that, but it'd be a big change.

orangerhyme · 06-12-2017 4:25pm

It's the problem with Dublin's housing stock, it's very difficult to find your own place and most end up house sharing.

At least Eoghan Murphy seems to be trying to change the legislation.

There was a property guy from Canada saying they have square apartment blocks with long corridors like a hotel. Much cheaper to build than our balcony, dual aspect, lift ratio things, underground car parks etc.
Why pay for all these things if you don't want them!?

06-12-2017 4:36pm

I used to live alone for 8 years and now have to share because of the poxy rental market. I really don't want to be there so I'm hardly going to be overly social.

veryangryman · 06-12-2017 5:01pm

Karsini wrote: »

I used to live alone for 8 years and now have to share because of the poxy rental market. I really don't want to be there so I'm hardly going to be overly social.

I still think its bad karma. Imagine if everyone was indifferent to each other. No friendships, romances etc would ever come to be and everyone would have a deep loathing for others and indeed themselves

Ursus Horribilis · 06-12-2017 5:36pm

Maybe your house mates have a reason for hiding? Just sayin'..

givyjoe · 06-12-2017 5:38pm

veryangryman wrote: »

I still think its bad karma. Imagine if everyone was indifferent to each other. No friendships, romances etc would ever come to be and everyone would have a deep loathing for others and indeed themselves

If karma was a thing, I have a feeling you would be getting pounded by it :pac:

DEFTLEFTHAND · 06-12-2017 5:39pm

Most of the people I lived with were sociable enough. Lived with the odd beard type.

I myself was never that comfortable moving in with complete strangers tbh.

Blargh · 06-12-2017 5:50pm

I have to agree with most people in the thread after work living in the room is better than having to make chit chat about shyte with housemates. My housemates are foreign and trying to understand a word they say is brutal that and working in call centre environment the convo you would get out of me would be a grunt at best.

Blargh · 06-12-2017 5:50pm

I have to agree with most people in the thread after work living in the room is better than having to make chit chat about shyte with housemates. My housemates are foreign and trying to understand a word they say is brutal that and working in call centre environment the convo you would get out of me would be a grunt at best.

Ulysses Gaze · 06-12-2017 6:08pm

veryangryman wrote: »

Probably a few of you are in that scenario. Drives me mad. Why would you pay rent in a house and not mix with the other people in the house?

Fair enough if you get landed with weirdos or have days when your just not in the mood. But it seems that within this generation, we are getting some deeply anti social living situations.

Yes, wed all love our own spaces and resent that we have to share. That notwithstanding, why not make the most of it?

I realise that a decent percentage reading this thread are currently dodging social interaction with their housemates. Why is my question to these people.

Because who wants to listen to someone ****e on and on about what Dickhead A did at their work or what Tosspot B said to Cnut C at their work. I don't know nor want to know Dickhead A, Tosspot B or Cnut C. I will also probably never meet them.

And when I was living with people, that was what I would listen to. And they spoke about this ****, and these ****heads, so much that they would drop names and expect you to remember every minutiae of what they had babbled before.

I don't give a ****!

It was either that or listen to whatever bull**** "drama" they were going through with their mates (who I didn't know nor want to know, Family (ditto) or Partner (ditto)

ShadowHearth · 06-12-2017 6:26pm

About 3+ years ago I broke up with a woman and rented a house with my friend. It was weird to go back living with other people at late 20s after being in relationship for 10 years.
I found out that I am like a person that OP describing. I would spend most of my time in my room after work, unless I am doing omething social with my friends. It was flipping great.
I am in relationship again for 2 years and I love her, but god, I miss my room in that house sometimes. It was great coming back home tired after work and just be with yourself and do stuff you want, without any socialising involved, unless its a buddy in some other country calling me "big floppy donkey dick" over vent.

Mongfinder General · 06-12-2017 6:28pm

ShadowHearth wrote: »

About 3+ years ago I broke up with a woman and rented a house with my friend. It was weird to go back living with other people at late 20s after being in relationship for 10 years.
I found out that I am like a person that OP describing. I would spend most of my time in my room after work, unless I am doing omething social with my friends. It was flipping great.
I am in relationship again for 2 years and I love her, but god, I miss my room in that house sometimes. It was great coming back home tired after work and just be with yourself and do stuff you want, without any socialising involved, unless its a buddy in some other country calling me "big floppy donkey dick" over vent.

Donkey Dick? Wtf?

ShadowHearth · 06-12-2017 7:24pm

Mongfinder General wrote: »

Donkey Dick? Wtf?

My Northen irish and English friends have amazing skill when it comes to insults.

LadyMacBeth_ · 06-12-2017 7:27pm

ShadowHearth wrote: »

My Northen irish and English friends have amazing skill when it comes to insults.

Isn't that a compliment?

andekwarhola · 06-12-2017 7:39pm

Just chuckling at the irony of people ammassing post counts talking sh1te with strangers on a chat forum reacting with such horror at the thought of occasional small talk in the kitchen with somebody you live with.

When I house shared, I definitely liked a good bit of time in my room, reading or relaxing after college or work but I always tried to put in at least some token time with the flatmates unless, as happened a few times admittedly, they genuinely were bellends.

21Savage · 06-12-2017 8:00pm

greencap wrote: »

Because they're renting a room, not buying a seat at your social event.

This isn't Friends, there is no canned laughter or hilarious plot, most people just want to have a ****, regret their life choices in private, and go asleep.

Not hear about how you ran the gas off the electricity and the electricity off the gas.

This is one of the bleakest ways of looking at the world I have ever seen. We really need to do something as a society to end this anti-social world we live in. It's out of kilter with us as a species. We were hard-wired to be part of the group for thousands of years. Shunning others like this isn't normal.

TBH I'd be the same but I can see it as being a negative development A great conversation and a good laugh will beat some tv show any day.

I think the problem has life(and by that I mean regular day to day 9-5) has become extremely stifled and predictable and because of that there isn't that much to talk about anymore.

OldMrBrennan83 · 06-12-2017 8:05pm

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pilly · 06-12-2017 8:06pm

Patww79 wrote:

This post has been deleted.

Jesus wept.

Housemates who lliterally live in their rooms

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