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10-07-2019, 21:01   #16
tcawley29
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Am I the only one who can never think of a great comeback when needs be , but think of brilliant ones later ?
I just started the thread for new material
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10-07-2019, 21:33   #17
Thelonious Monk
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I may be drunk but in the morning I’ll also be ugly still - Neville Chamberlain
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10-07-2019, 21:33   #18
lbc2019
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I know you are but what am I?

A garbageman
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10-07-2019, 21:35   #19
Thelonious Monk
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You’re barking up the wrong Bush
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10-07-2019, 21:44   #20
banie01
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When I was younger, fitter and prettier...
My uncle started lecturing me on the dangers of drink, drugs and women!
The lecture being delivered by a chubby, balding, whoremongering and hard partying musician ended with these lines...

Him "Kid, your body is a temple! Mind it!"
Me "Yeah, yeah, it's just a pity yours is a Greek one!"
Him "What?!?!
Me " fúcking ruined!!! "

20 years later and we still slag each other over it....
Im still winning too!
I'm far from bald yet
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10-07-2019, 21:49   #21
corner of hells
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'F*ck you Deputy Stagg''
Easy there ,Paul.
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10-07-2019, 22:19   #22
branie2
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A classic comeback by Brendan Grace about a heckler at one of his shows, and I'm paraphrasing

We were a duo known as the Symbolics. I was sym, he was the other half!
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10-07-2019, 22:24   #23
trashcan
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Originally Posted by Thelonious Monk View Post
I may be drunk but in the morning I’ll also be ugly still - Neville Chamberlain
Not quite. It was Churchill for a start, in response to some woman who said to him accusingly, "You're drunk" He replied, "Yes, but in the morning I will be sober, you however will still be ugly". Or something like that. It's a classic comeback to be fair, and I wouldn't be much of a Churchill fan.
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10-07-2019, 22:29   #24
griffin100
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One I read somewhere a few years ago......

Lads on the street slagging off a fat kid as he walks past huffin and puffin trying to keep his tracksuit up. Turns back to the ringleader and says ‘the reason I’m so fat is because every time I ride your ma she gives me a cake afterwords.’
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10-07-2019, 22:47   #25
Tell me how
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Originally Posted by Thelonious Monk View Post
I may be drunk but in the morning I’ll also be ugly still - Neville Chamberlain
Pretty sure it was Churchill.

Man who also had following engagement with a fellow MP.

Fellow MP: If I were your wife I'd put poison in your coffee
Churchill: If I were your husband, I'd drink it.
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10-07-2019, 22:54   #26
kowloon
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There was that legendary one from Pighead but I can't find it. So there's that.
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10-07-2019, 23:19   #27
IamMetaldave
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There was that legendary one from Pighead but I can't find it. So there's that.
Ah Pighead, so many amazing posts/threads.
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10-07-2019, 23:23   #28
pawdee
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Once again, words fail you.
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10-07-2019, 23:23   #29
sugarman
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Originally Posted by Mam of 4 View Post
Am I the only one who can never think of a great comeback when needs be , but think of brilliant ones later ?
Yeah but usually 15 years later lying in bed unable to sleep at 4am
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10-07-2019, 23:30   #30
ILoveYourVibes
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I envy everyone you have never met.
......
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