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Sex as Fun (?)

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    #92
    hatrickpatrick
    Registered Users Posts: 17,797 ✭✭✭✭hatrickpatrick


    If anyone involved in a sex act isn't having fun then ye're doing it wrong IMO. The best sex is that which you can reminisce and laugh about afterwards.


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    #93
    Raconteuse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,817 ✭✭✭Raconteuse


    Hatrickpatrick telling people they're doing sex wrong - what a shocker.
    jimgoose wrote: »
    Sex is great. I'm having more and better than I ever had, an' I an owdild feddit.

    OP, I think your definition of "fun" might be a tad narrow. As has been said, don't overthink it.
    I think fun meaning any form of pleasure at all is what is the narrow definition.


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    #94
    topper75
    Registered Users Posts: 5,942 ✭✭✭topper75


    Panthro wrote: »
    Top tip: Keep it fun by telling a few jokes while yer banging.
    And everyone loves a good magic trick.

    Good call. Takes the tedium out of all the rogering drudgery.


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    #95
    Porklife
    Registered Users Posts: 1,681 ✭✭✭Porklife


    Raconteuse wrote: »
    What would the point be? Pleasure, enjoyment, closeness, contentment.

    But doesn't that equate to 'fun'? If enjoyment and pleasure don't equal fun then what does?

    I think I have a 'male' brain in a lot of ways in so far as I can separate love and sex quite easily. I can have sex with somebody I really like without falling for them emotionally, it's like a switch in my brain that I can turn off. That's not always a good thing though because it means I find it hard to make real connections with people. I guess it comes down to trust and letting people in and that's just not something I'm good at. I think I've been hurt way too many times to let my guard down so it's always firmly in place. I might think I'm falling for someone but a week later I couldn't care less. Sad really but there ya go.
    Maybe that's why to me, sex is definitely loads of fun. I don't emotionally invest in it and thrive on the pleasure/fun factor.
    Hmmm... this is actually a very interesting thread.


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    #96
    Church on Tuesday
    Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    Woke Hogan wrote: »
    In my experience teachers are so brainless that, regarding sexual matters, they lack the chemical processes needed for anything other than pure reproduction. Lights out. Under the covers. Missionary.

    The idea of passionate, exciting, intimate lovemaking is probably as unknowable to them as echolocation is to us.

    A fine nuanced contribution there. Well done.

    Back on topic; I can't really see how you can't see sex as fun. It's supposed to be fun and mutually pleasurable, otherwise apart from functional procreation, what really is the point?


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    #97
    JohnnyFlash
    Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    Raconteuse wrote: »
    Hatrickpatrick telling people they're doing sex wrong - what a shocker.

    I think fun meaning any form of pleasure at all is what is the narrow definition.

    You come across as someone in need of a good shag. Arguing over the use of the word fun to describe the old ‘beast with two backs’ and being so literal about everything.


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    #98
    Widdershins
    Registered Users Posts: 10,633 ✭✭✭✭Widdershins


    [QUOTE=Raconteuse;111653456



    .......or having to shag shag shag anyone that moves due to an addiction.
    [/QUOTE]

    I dated a man with sex addiction. I thought I was an addict until I got to know him. It's totally different to being really into sex. It's like a bottomless greed to plough everything....his head would swivel and his eyes bulge as he tracked every woman he passed, you could see the weird gleam in his eyes. We're all, essentially, things to be fu**ed. That's pretty much all he thought about. And its actually very unsexy, weirdly enough.


    Certainly got me thinking about different attitudes to sex anyway.


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    #99
    Raconteuse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,817 ✭✭✭Raconteuse


    Porklife wrote: »
    But doesn't that equate to 'fun'? If enjoyment and pleasure don't equal fun then what does
    Just different contexts. Fun is a party. Some people view sex as a different type of enjoyment. It seems to upset people greatly though, this point made by the OP (not you, others) but we are the uptight ones.


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    #100
    Porklife
    Registered Users Posts: 1,681 ✭✭✭Porklife


    JohnnyFlash wrote: »
    You come across as someone in need of a good shag. Arguing over the use of the word fun to describe the old ‘beast with two backs’ and being so literal about everything.

    Couldn't agree more!! If anyone needs some fun sex it's Raconteuse. Getting pedantic over the word fun. Christ on a bike. Get yourself a rampant rabbit, have a few vinos , stick on some porn and tell me you're not having a good time. Or better still, **** some hot guy with a big dick and tell me you're not having fun.
    Impossible unless I'm misunderstanding the word fun. It means fun, right?


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    #101
    Deebles McBeebles
    Registered Users Posts: 5,753 ✭✭✭Deebles McBeebles


    JohnnyFlash wrote: »
    You come across as someone in need of a good shag. Arguing over the use of the word fun to describe the old ‘beast with two backs’ and being so literal about everything.

    Are you putting yourself up for the task, John?


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    #102
    fattymuatty
    Registered Users Posts: 295 ✭✭fattymuatty


    farmchoice wrote: »
    it seems to me that the issue in question has nothing whatsoever to do with sex but to do with the english word ''FUN''.

    This seems to be the problem alright. I have fun doing lots of things, sex is one of them. I've been with my husband since I was a teenager. I don't feel vulnerable having sex with him like some people have said, I've been with him for half my life at this point, I'm way too comfortable around him to feel vulnerable. As someone else said we have different types of sex, sometimes it's about the connection, other times it's just a quick shag and everything in between.


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    #103
    Gynoid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,524 ✭✭✭Gynoid


    The ones shouting at others to ''have fun'' seem like the least fun imaginable :rolleyes:
    Fcuk sake.


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    #104
    Anus Von Skidmark
    Registered Users Posts: 181 ✭✭Anus Von Skidmark


    Porklife wrote: »
    Or better still, **** some hot guy with a big dick and tell me you're not having fun.

    Guy with a big dick here - don't all PM at once!


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    #105
    Woke Hogan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,630 ✭✭✭Woke Hogan


    Porklife wrote: »
    Couldn't agree more!! If anyone needs some fun sex it's Raconteuse. Getting pedantic over the word fun. Christ on a bike. Get yourself a rampant rabbit, have a few vinos , stick on some porn and tell me you're not having a good time. Or better still, **** some hot guy with a big dick and tell me you're not having fun.
    Impossible unless I'm misunderstanding the word fun. It means fun, right?

    80s night.


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    #106
    Rezident
    Registered Users Posts: 1,770 ✭✭✭Rezident


    seenitall wrote: »
    I've always heard this a lot, even used the expression myself, as interchangable with sex, but I don't think it has ever quite gelled with me. And I know it isn't just me being a woman not a man thing, at all. (But it could be a part of it?)

    What is it then, why can't I get on board - or do I even want to (I don't think so)

    For me, sex with another person (as opposed to with myself, heh) is a helluva intense situation. I have been with many people in my life, had ONS and other casual setups but - Fun is still the last word that comes to mind. Does that make sense to anyone else here..?

    Fun is going to cinema. Traveling to a new destination. Having a natter with a friend over some good food. Laughing with my daughter about some crazy meme she has just discovered online. Fun is fantastic, but it is not something my quality of life will suffer greatly if it is not forthcoming for a while.

    Sex is a need. For a physical release, and for a human connection, the likes of which it is impossible (or in any case, much more difficult) to realise with your clothes on. Intimacy like that, with another human being - so important to have that once in a while. However, I've never ever been able to get down and dirty with anyone I haven't been wildly attracted to (I don't drink, so no drink goggles thing has gone on!). Most people are different to that, as I understand? Especially men?

    Sex is a way of communication, an expression of trust, a wonderful means to an intensity of oblivion.

    But fun? Hm.

    (No PMs please. Don't even.)


    The best theory I have found so far is this one: there are five main ways of feeling love, physical touch (including but not limited to just sex) is just one of them (the others being words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts and quality time).



    Everyone has one of these that they need to feel loved. The kicker is that you could be doing all the other four wonderfully well for your partner but if you are not doing the one they need, they will not feel loved. It does not matter how many meals or nice words or presents my ex-wife got me, I never felt loved by her during the long periods of no physical intimacy (and there are thousands of ways to show this aside from just sex).



    Mine is physical touch and I can assure you that sex (or even just a hug) for me is tremendous fun (and then some). I'm guessing yours is not physical touch, so figure out what it is and then consider your prospective partner, do you want someone who will need a lot of physical intimacy in order for them to feel loved by you if that is not your thing most of the time?


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    #107
    AMKC
    Registered Users Posts: 15,658 ✭✭✭✭AMKC
    Ms


    I would not know as I have never had sex nor do I intend too and no I am not a priest before anyone asks. I just think its yuk and the last thing I want is a child as they do not interest me. I have nieces and nephews and that's good enough for me. Also I am terrible with dates and birthdays. I think people should not have a child or get married until they know the costs and are sure they can afford it. You here all these people complaining about the costs of this and that, schooling, childcare, feeding them etc. Well then maybe they should not have had a child in the first place.

    Live long and Prosper

    Peace and long life.



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    #108
    jimgoose
    Registered Users Posts: 20,176 ✭✭✭✭jimgoose


    AMKC wrote: »
    I would not know as I have never had sex nor do I intend too and no I am not a priest before anyone asks. I just think its yuk and the last thing I want is a child as they do not interest me. I have nieces and nephews and that's good enough for me. Also I am terrible with dates and birthdays. I think people should not have a child or get married until they know the costs and are sure they can afford it. You here all these people complaining about the costs of this and that, schooling, childcare, feeding them etc. Well then maybe they should not have had a child in the first place.

    Wait until you're twelve or thirteen and start tugging the head diddling the bean off it.


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    #109
    Gynoid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,524 ✭✭✭Gynoid


    jimgoose wrote: »
    Wait until you're twelve or thirteen and start tugging the head off it.

    Come on now Jim, look at her pretty avatar. She does not have a willy.


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    #110
    jimgoose
    Registered Users Posts: 20,176 ✭✭✭✭jimgoose


    Gynoid wrote: »
    Come on now Jim, look at her pretty avatar. She does not have a willy.

    Sorted. :D


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    #111
    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,474 ✭✭✭Obvious Desperate Breakfasts


    Raconteuse wrote: »
    Just different contexts. Fun is a party. Some people view sex as a different type of enjoyment. It seems to upset people greatly though, this point made by the OP (not you, others) but we are the uptight ones.

    Fun is many things!
    Porklife wrote: »
    Couldn't agree more!! If anyone needs some fun sex it's Raconteuse. Getting pedantic over the word fun. Christ on a bike. Get yourself a rampant rabbit, have a few vinos , stick on some porn and tell me you're not having a good time. Or better still, **** some hot guy with a big dick and tell me you're not having fun.
    Impossible unless I'm misunderstanding the word fun. It means fun, right?

    I am also confused.


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    #112
    AllForIt
    Registered Users Posts: 8,298 ✭✭✭AllForIt


    Just have sex for f*cks sake


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    #113
    Widdershins
    Registered Users Posts: 10,633 ✭✭✭✭Widdershins


    Asexuality is a thing Each to their own. I'd prefer this to a slimeball for a friend any day of the week.


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    #114
    Anus Von Skidmark
    Registered Users Posts: 181 ✭✭Anus Von Skidmark


    Widdershins wrote: »
    Asexuality is a thing Each to their own. I'd prefer this to a slimeball for a friend any day of the week.

    I hope my friends don't mind that I'm a slimeball... :o


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    #115
    Widdershins
    Registered Users Posts: 10,633 ✭✭✭✭Widdershins


    Anus Von Skidmark wrote: »
    I hope my friends don't mind that I'm a slimeball... :o

    Most slimeball don't have friends.. They don't understand friendship, which is not about sex. . Either that or they tolerate you but keep their pointy car keys within easy reach when you call inm


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    #116
    Anus Von Skidmark
    Registered Users Posts: 181 ✭✭Anus Von Skidmark


    Widdershins wrote: »
    Most slimeball don't have friends.. They don't understand friendship, which is not about sex. . Either that or they tolerate you but keep their pointy car keys within easy reach when you call inm

    Friendship isn't about sex, for sure, but having sex with friends isn't always the worst idea... Over the years I've both had sex with old friends (and remained friends afterwards) and become friends with people where it started as a one-night stand.


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    #117
    nkl12xtw5goz70
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,497 ✭✭✭nkl12xtw5goz70


    For some people, jumping out of a plane or riding a motorcycle at crazy speeds is a "fun" activity, even though, for other people, they'd be terrifying experiences. So the definition of "fun" varies widely from person to person. Even parties are not "fun" for introverted or socially anxious people, who would far rather be tucked up at home with a book.

    Sex can be fun if you're with the right person and in a relaxed, happy mood. But sex can also be fraught with body anxiety, performance anxiety, difficulty becoming aroused, difficulty achieving orgasm, fear of rejection, etc., to the point where I understand that some people don't see it as "fun" at all.


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    #118
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Daniela Acidic Clothing wrote: »
    Sex can be fun if you're with the right person and in a relaxed, happy mood.

    The hidden hand of the free market is known to stoke desire.


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    #119
    AMKC
    Registered Users Posts: 15,658 ✭✭✭✭AMKC
    Ms


    jimgoose wrote: »
    Sorted. :D

    You wish beside's I don't think you could handle me and I am not 12 or 13 lol but it was a good laugh.

    Live long and Prosper

    Peace and long life.



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    #120
    Raconteuse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,817 ✭✭✭Raconteuse


    Daniela Acidic Clothing wrote: »
    Sex can be fun if you're with the right person and in a relaxed, happy mood. But sex can also be fraught with body anxiety, performance anxiety, difficulty becoming aroused, difficulty achieving orgasm, fear of rejection, etc., to the point where I understand that some people don't see it as "fun" at all.
    That's not what the OP or I or Bitofabind are saying though. We are saying that the word "fun" doesn't do good sex justice. That it's way more of an intense experience than that.
    Woke Hogan wrote: »
    passionate, exciting, intimate.
    This. "Fun" just doesn't seem the right word. It's what I associate with having a laugh at an event people consider a laugh, like, for example, an 80s night (as first suggested by Porklife) or karaoke as suggested by Bitofabind. Whatever you're having.
    Gynoid wrote: »
    The ones shouting at others to ''have fun'' seem like the least fun imaginable :rolleyes:
    Fcuk sake.
    Indeed. They're even resorting to insults (some of same would be leaping at the opportunity to tell others how unpleasant they are - "do as I say, not as I do!") based on nothing. They're the ones getting wound up over the discussion of the word! And the thread wasn't even started by me. Jeez like, calm down with the lazy pot shots. I know what extremely good sex is like, and it's a lot better than "fun" imo.


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    #121
    Church on Tuesday
    Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    This is some serious storm in a teacup stuff folks.


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