Deal breakers and turn-off's in dating!

Feisar · 30-01-2020 12:54pm

Assetbacked wrote: »

I'm out of the game so don't worry. Besides iron sharpens iron no harm in competition, keeps us all sharp.

Assetbacked · 30-01-2020 12:58pm

Feisar wrote: »

I'm out of the game so don't worry. Besides iron sharpens iron no harm in competition, keeps us all sharp.

I'm also out of the game but if I ever go back, girls with daddy issues are a treasure trove as a lot of men just see psycho and crazy, without appreciating the positives.

con___manx1 · 30-01-2020 1:01pm

Good/Average looking women on dating apps with a list of dislikes on there page.

optogirl · 30-01-2020 1:02pm

Motivator wrote: »

Hairy box.

Waxing your balls yourself are you?

tjhook · 30-01-2020 1:05pm

For me, the deal-breaker is somebody with "a cause". They're on a crusade. It might be a great cause, and well done for taking a position and following up, but living with it constantly gets weary. I even get fed up of RTE spending more than a few days frowning about a single issue.

nkl12xtw5goz70 · 30-01-2020 1:11pm

tjhook wrote: »

For me, the deal-breaker is somebody with "a cause". They're on a crusade. It might be a great cause, and well done for taking a position and following up, but living with it constantly gets weary. I even get fed up of RTE spending more than a few days frowning about a single issue.

Yeah, add "climate activist" to my list. Global warming is a serious problem but I don't want to be hectored constantly about driving, flying, lighting the fire, etc.

H3llR4iser · 30-01-2020 1:19pm

Pretty much everything I'd consider a dealbreaker has been mentioned in this thread - primarily lack of interests, obsession about TV/celebrities, clingyness, lack of independence.

I've recently ran into a new one, which I don't know how to define at all - and I'm not sure if I can even explain it well; basically, "lack of style in daily life": essentially women who look absolutely fine when going out/on a date - and when I mean "fine", I mean they really know how to style themselves, not some cheap&tacky "fake tan and eyelashes" job - but completely drab and frumpy if say you met them during the day. Like there's no middle way, if I give the idea.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

I can’t drive and hubs is never my taximan. I always use public transport if it’s just me going somewhere. If we moved to a rural location, I’d learn.

Yes, especially in Dublin it is indeed possible that someone might not need a driving license at all; Plus you're clearly stating you'd learn if necessary.

However, I've known plenty of women who have the "somebody will give me a lift, I don't need to drive" mentality - it's a very tricky one to figure out, just like the following one about drinking. Usually, it takes a few months of "free taxi driver" work before you realize what's going on :mad:

Higgins5473 wrote: »

I worked with a girl who said its fairly common for a non-drinker to a be a red flag/warning sign for girls if they meet a lad (purely speaking about those that did drink and don't anymore).

Problem is, people here ASSUME you to be a former ferocious alcoholic when they learn you don't drink. Experiencing it first-hand for the last 11 years. No amount of explanation that I never actually drank will suffice - and I'm not even Irish, I don't even want to imagine how bad it must be for an Irish-born on drinker.

Turquoise Hexagon Sun · 30-01-2020 1:20pm

People that have politicize everything. OK, so you don't like that stand-up comic because he's perhaps un-PC, he's not recruiting you in to his cult, he's not standing for election, he's telling jokes and people aren't idiots for liking it, we can separate the man from the jokes. Stop taking jokes litterally. Gets angry if you have a more nuanced view to social and political issues. Basically people that are millitant in their beliefs and can't get why you don't follow their exact stance on everything.

Another red flag would be if she was on her phone a lot. Or if we swapped Instagrams and all her photos are just her.

I would be very obliging to pay on a first date but if she didn't at least offer (just offer) or said something like "you paid for the meal, let me get the drinks" or something to that effect.

Other red flag is someone who will happliy answer a million questions about themselves but doesn't ask you a question in return.

Too much make-up, or any amount fake-tan. Maybe not a deal-breaker but would I would just be thinking of how this is going to smell? Is it all coagjulating on her knuckles. Is she insecure about herself? If she's in to fake tan, what else is she going to be in to.

Yeah and as other's mentioned. Into celeb culture and reality TV. No thanks.

Or doesn't have any hobbies. (And shopping isn't a hobby) or doesn't appreciate art in any form.

Most people are usually grand.

Sober Crappy Chemis · 30-01-2020 1:27pm

People with tattoos that say stuff like ‘Only God can judge me’ and think that makes them as clever and insightful as Aristotle or Plato.

Monkey2019 · 30-01-2020 1:35pm

A guy sending unsolicited dick pics after a couple of text exchanges.

Is there any need

Leg End Reject · 30-01-2020 1:37pm

What, may I ask, are acceptable hobbies? They're mentioned a lot.

Sober Crappy Chemis · 30-01-2020 1:37pm

Monkey2019 wrote: »

A guy sending unsolicited dick pics after a couple of text exchanges.

Is there any need

PM sent.

Turquoise Hexagon Sun · 30-01-2020 1:41pm

Leg End Reject wrote: »

What, may I ask, are acceptable hobbies? They're mentioned a lot.

I mentioned hobbies. I just think anyone with a hobby shows passion for something in life. It shows that someone has taken the initative to learn some skill or to occupy their time in a productive or fun way.

For me, any hobby is acceptable so long as it's doesn't interfere greatly with someones to the point they're too unavailable, or other parts of of their life is greatly lacking due to an overinvestment in their hobby.

But, if I met a girl who had a hobby like, painting, writing, photography, blogging, fashion design, hiking, surfing, playing an instrument, or health and fitness or anything like that, I would definitely more instantly attracted to her.

BASHIR · 30-01-2020 1:43pm

Believes in healing crystals.
Believes in Reiki
Believes in Angels
Believes in Homeopathy
The only thing a salt lamp is good for is a nice glow in a room as an alternative to a regular lamp.
Stingy

Feisar · 30-01-2020 1:50pm

Monkey2019 wrote: »

A guy sending unsolicited dick pics after a couple of text exchanges.

Is there any need

There is never a need, like what's a lad expecting, she'll keel over and start writhing on the floor, frothing with desire?

Qrt · 30-01-2020 1:53pm

Living with their Ex

theguzman · 30-01-2020 1:56pm

Women who turn the lights off or want to have sex in darkness, had an incident last year where I was on a first date which went great and we went back to the hotel (Happened abroad) anyway despite my best efforts she totally blank refused to do it with even a bit of light shining out the bathroom door.

I was thinking she must have some nasty STD she is hiding and I don't know nothing about her, she was very attractive with a great body so being able to see her with light would have been a major bonus. Anyway it was just for a few nights but I couldn't handle that level of controlling in a relationship and the lights must be turned on. Around 5 years ago hooked up with a girl who insisted on covering the mirror in the bedroom with a towel before shenanigans started, apparently mirrors reflect your soul and she didn't want her soul to see what we would do!

Alot of posts here criticizing religious people or those who are into religion but some of the best sex I've had has been with the real religious conservative zealot type women and they really get a thrill out of "misbehaving" and "sinning" in their mind. Getting dragged along to mass after a nights passion is a downer but worth it. One woman who was totally anti-abortion refused to allow me to use a Condom, win for me!

I have dated a few feminist leftwing types and one was incredible in bed but the majority were as painful as a root canal and you might expect to get laid 6 months later.

Deebles McBeebles · 30-01-2020 2:08pm

theguzman wrote: »

One woman who was totally anti-abortion refused to allow me to use a Condom, win for me!

Eh....congratulations, daddy!

dinorebel · 30-01-2020 2:15pm

Monkey2019 wrote: »

A guy sending unsolicited dick pics after a couple of text exchanges.

Is there any need

Someone beat me to it

Tell me how · 30-01-2020 2:32pm

pgj2015 wrote: »

psycho ex who she has a kid or kids with

religious

if she dislikes the police

if she is the type to protest or campaign for causes like the homeless

pessimistic

unorganized

no ambition

two faced

a snob

selfish

no sense of humor

How did both of these appear on the same list?

30-01-2020 2:57pm

Captain Flaps wrote: »

This list explains a lot

Such as?

Jim Root · 30-01-2020 3:00pm

Feisar wrote: »

There is never a need, like what's a lad expecting, she'll keel over and start writhing on the floor, frothing with desire?

that would be ideal.

KathleenGrant · 30-01-2020 3:10pm

pgj2015 wrote: »

if she dislikes the police

She has to like the same bands??

1o059k7ewrqj3n · 30-01-2020 3:16pm

KathleenGrant wrote: »

She has to like the same bands??

I think he means the Guards

KathleenGrant · 30-01-2020 3:28pm

Steyr 556 wrote: »

I think he means the Guards

Oops.... Is low IQ a deal-breaker?

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 30-01-2020 3:58pm

Feisar wrote: »

There is never a need, like what's a lad expecting, she'll keel over and start writhing on the floor, frothing with desire?

It's like the ones who roar or whistle at women on the street.

Either: it worked for someone, at some point, and they keep plugging away, or; it's the fact that they've made a woman angry or upset or disgusted that they get off on.

I have one friend who if possible looks at their socials, finds a female relative and threatens to send her the screenshots. The dick piccers all seem to feel very strongly that this is poor form

I don't think she's ever actually followed through.

1o059k7ewrqj3n · 30-01-2020 4:04pm

KathleenGrant wrote: »

Oops.... Is low IQ a deal-breaker?

Sense of humour definitely is.

Assetbacked · 30-01-2020 4:16pm

Journee Odd Pensioner wrote: »

It's like the ones who roar or whistle at women on the street.

Either: it worked for someone, at some point, and they keep plugging away, or; it's the fact that they've made a woman angry or upset or disgusted that they get off on.

I have one friend who if possible looks at their socials, finds a female relative and threatens to send her the screenshots. The dick piccers all seem to feel very strongly that this is poor form

I don't think she's ever actually followed through.

That female friend must have some serious men hang ups.

While dick pics are lowest common denominator males, the women who get vindictive about them betray something not quite right with themselves.

CrankyHaus · 30-01-2020 4:17pm

Assetbacked wrote: »

That female friend must have some serious men hang ups.

While dick pics are lowest common denominator males, the women who get vindictive about them betray something not quite right with themselves.

Or simply refuse to be treated with disrespect.

Feisar · 30-01-2020 4:22pm

Journee Odd Pensioner wrote: »

It's like the ones who roar or whistle at women on the street.

Either: it worked for someone, at some point, and they keep plugging away, or; it's the fact that they've made a woman angry or upset or disgusted that they get off on.

I have one friend who if possible looks at their socials, finds a female relative and threatens to send her the screenshots. The dick piccers all seem to feel very strongly that this is poor form

I don't think she's ever actually followed through.

Assetbacked · 30-01-2020 4:25pm

CrankyHaus wrote: »

Or simply refuse to be treated with disrespect.

I would respond and call him a waste of time then delete and block him. Going out of my way to find him on Facebook, look for relatives and then threaten to send (with the possibility to actually send) the photo to them is a bit loony for me.

Feisar · 30-01-2020 4:27pm

Assetbacked wrote: »

That female friend must have some serious men hang ups.

While dick pics are lowest common denominator males, the women who get vindictive about them betray something not quite right with themselves.

Yea however it seems to be very common, something not quite right with lads who send them either.

Assetbacked · 30-01-2020 4:28pm

Feisar wrote: »

Yea however it seems to be very common, something not quite right with lads who send them either.

Yes, of course. I would expect lads to be blocked and ridiculed for sending them.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 30-01-2020 4:29pm

Assetbacked wrote: »

That female friend must have some serious men hang ups.

While dick pics are lowest common denominator males, the women who get vindictive about them betray something not quite right with themselves.

Why? It's an unsolicited picture of your genitals, if you did it on the street you'd be arrested. As I say I don't think she's ever followed through, but if it gives them a bit of cop on then I don't see the harm.

If they were solicited nudes then it'd be vindictive to post them anywhere or to anyone. But if you send a picture of your dick to someone who doesn't want to see it you can't get too fcuking high horsey about that ending up with it being seen by people who you don't want seeing it.

Tony EH · 30-01-2020 4:34pm

theguzman wrote: »

I had a series of unfortunate dates recently and it made me post this thread.

So the first date was with a 28 year old woman from Cork and boy did I misjudge that book by its cover badly. Midway through the date she started lecturing me for having previously dated a foreign woman and how I should have only dated Irish women. Low point was when she basically alluded that should we ever have sex that I'd have to be STD screened since those types are full of disease.

I excused myself to the bathroom and debated doing a runner but returned and handled it more maturely had her blocked within hours from all social networks and apps. She works in an ok job and I would have thought she'd have more interactions with foreigners than to have such disgusting viewpoints.

Prior to the date she kept sending me pictures of her two small dogs, including parading them around her local town in a push pram and the dogs seemed to have several sets of doggy clothes also. Her main conversatons were the dogs and her hatred for her sisters boyfriend who had gotten her sister pregnant and constantly disrespecting him due to him being useless in a low paid job. I didn't know the guy but from what I could gather he was trying his best for kid and mum.

Anyway got out of dodge there big time.

Fast forward to the second disaster, met another girl who was 33 and I was interested enough in her. Again like the first girl she was totally obsessed with dogs and has six dogs, a big alsation, two collies and a Labrador and two small fluffy pipsqueeks. Her life seemed to revolve around working 3 x 12 hrs shifts and then walking her dogs. No way Jose! I was out of there like a burnt cat out of hell, there was definite psychological issues going on with her and whilst she lacked the vile judgemental racist overtones of the first girl such an obsession with dogs is a severe turn-off for me. I could tolerate a really small house dog who would be confined to the porch or backyard but not having big dogs having free roam of the house and into the bed etc! Yuck!

Unusualy to have such a string of dating disasters but eh. dust myself off and try again. What would be deal-breakers in a situation like that?

It's stories like those above that make me feel truly grateful that I never had a "date" (these were American things in my day) in my life.

I was just lucky I spose. Met girls the old fashioned way, friends of friends in a boozer, over a few pints. So they were well vetted before I went anywhere alone with them. :pac:

I don't think I could ever put myself on a dating app or trust anyone I met on one. Such a minefield of gigantic proportions.

KathleenGrant · 30-01-2020 4:34pm

Assetbacked wrote: »

That female friend must have some serious men hang ups.

While dick pics are lowest common denominator males, the women who get vindictive about them betray something not quite right with themselves.

If some guy sent a woman he wasn't seeing romantically a dick pic she didn't ask for he hardly could be furious at a woman passing it on. Could he not see how stupid he was to begin with?

Assetbacked · 30-01-2020 4:38pm

KathleenGrant wrote: »

If some guy sent a woman he wasn't seeing romantically a dick pic she didn't ask for he hardly could be furious at a woman passing it on. Could he not see how stupid he was to begin with?

I'm just thinking about it from the perspective of myself and if a female I'd been chatting to from tinder sent me a selfie of her box. It would be a big fat "no" from me for meeting up and I would delete her as a contact, but I wouldn't go shaming her to her family.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 30-01-2020 4:46pm

Assetbacked wrote: »

I'm just thinking about it from the perspective of myself and if a female I'd been chatting to from tinder sent me a selfie of her box. It would be a big fat "no" from me for meeting up and I would delete her as a contact, but I wouldn't go shaming her to her family.

If you got quite a lot of those though? If it was a frequent, apropos of nothing follow up to "hello"? If a response to you saying "it was nice to meet you but I didn't feel the spark, thanks and good luck" was basically "well then I'm going to flash you"? Might you get a bit fed up and consider hitting back?

As I said I don't think she's ever actually done it, but hey the threat of it might have saved some other woman the sight. Reacting verbally with indignation or anger or disgust only seems to please them more.

It's mad how quickly dick pics have gotten so normalised that a proportionate response to them is seen as bad manners and a poor reflection on the person who got sent it.

creditcarder · 30-01-2020 4:49pm

Journee Odd Pensioner wrote: »

If you got quite a lot of those though? If it was a frequent, apropos of nothing follow up to "hello"? If a response to you saying "it was nice to meet you but I didn't feel the spark, thanks and good luck" was basically "well then I'm going to flash you"? Might you get a bit fed up and consider hitting back?

As I said I don't think she's ever actually done it, but hey the threat of it might have saved some other woman the sight. Reacting verbally with indignation or anger or disgust only seems to please them more.

It's mad how quickly dick pics have gotten so normalised that a proportionate response to them is seen as bad manners and a poor reflection on the person who got sent it.

Are they common? Tbh, a lot of the older women I talk to thinks its just trying to keep up with the jonses. Kind of like if all men were complaining about having too big of a penis, and most men would just go along with it.

Feisar · 30-01-2020 4:49pm

Assetbacked wrote: »

I'm just thinking about it from the perspective of myself and if a female I'd been chatting to from tinder sent me a selfie of her box. It would be a big fat "no" from me for meeting up and I would delete her as a contact, but I wouldn't go shaming her to her family.

Tell the truth, if she was hot you’d be on it like a car bonnet!

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 30-01-2020 4:55pm

creditcarder wrote: »

Are they common? Tbh, a lot of the older women I talk to thinks its just trying to keep up with the jonses. Kind of like if all men were complaining about having too big of a penis, and most men would just go along with it.

Seem to be, I haven't been single since the dating apps took off though and that seems to be the worst for them. Like I've been shown enough of them by enough recipients to think they're fairly common. Or maybe my friends just bring it out in people

My favourite was the guy who sent pictures of a family christening. Here's my suit, here's my nephew, here's the church, here's the pub where we had the reception, here's my dick in the pub bathroom, here's the cake...

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 30-01-2020 5:01pm

Assetbacked wrote: »

Two words; daddy issues.

I’m... not sure that’s something you’d want to rely on or that they’re as common as you are hoping. It’s easy to say at 31 that there’s another 20 years in it. I mean, knock yourself out believing that but you’ll likely be disappointed.

Tony EH · 30-01-2020 5:04pm

Khalil Scarce Bagpipes wrote: »

Not "on the market" but they'd be:

-- Smoking, drug use, or excessive drinking
-- Bad grammar/spelling
-- Every third word is "like"
-- Culturally illiterate. You don't have to be the editor of the Times Literary Supplement, but some awareness of art, literature, music, and culture before 1990 matters
-- Left-wing politics. A centrist is fine, but I couldn't deal with a Sinn Fein / People Before Profit type
-- Woke politics. Even worse
-- Expects a text exchange every 30 minutes
-- No ambition, goals, or plan in life
-- Bad table manners
-- Rudeness
-- Any signs of controlling or narcissistic behavior
-- Someone who just wants to complain rather than figure out solutions
-- Stuck in a rut or unwilling to try new things
-- Isn't physically affectionate

:pac:

You just crossed yourself off your own list.

Assetbacked · 30-01-2020 5:06pm

Feisar wrote: »

Tell the truth, if she was hot you’d be on it like a car bonnet!

If it's too good to be true etc.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

I’m... not sure that’s something you’d want to rely on or that they’re as common as you are hoping. It’s easy to say at 31 that there’s another 20 years in it. I mean, knock yourself out believing that but you’ll likely be disappointed.

I'll cross that bridge if it ever arises but it is pretty evident from my own experience to date. Of course, there are the celebrity cases too which would give an old man hope;

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7018737/Lady-Kitty-Spencer-28-fashion-tycoon-boyfriend-spotted-leaving-luxury-New-York-hotel.html

She's 28, he's 60. Her parents divorced when she was 7.

EmmetSpiceland · 30-01-2020 5:09pm

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

I’m... not sure that’s something you’d want to rely on or that they’re as common as you are hoping. It’s easy to say at 31 that there’s another 20 years in it. I mean, knock yourself out believing that but you’ll likely be disappointed.

It’s fine if you’re a good looking guy, who dresses well, shaves and keeps in “shape”.

If you’re some red faced clown with long, messy, hair, a scraggly beard, overweight, wears converse runners with “bootcut” jeans you can forgot about getting near any young ones with “daddy issues”.

So I don’t think these lads on here will be doing anything other than what they’re doing now, sitting in, playing computer games and “whacking off” to Japanese cartoon porn.

30-01-2020 5:11pm

Feet. I like a nice pair of feet so if a date turns up in heels or sandals or whatever and has horrible feet, deal breaker. Skinny big toes are a particularly egregious offence.

Assetbacked · 30-01-2020 5:11pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

It’s fine if you’re a good looking guy, who dresses well, shaves and keeps in “shape”.

If you’re some red faced clown with long, messy, hair, a scraggly beard, overweight, wears converse runners with “bootcut” jeans you can forgot about getting near any young ones with “daddy issues”.

So I don’t think these lads on here will be doing anything other than what they’re doing now, sitting in, playing computer games and “whacking off” to Japanese cartoon porn.

Mid-00s Boards.ie called and wants its generalisations back.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 30-01-2020 5:19pm

Assetbacked wrote: »

If it's too good to be true etc.

I'll cross that bridge if it ever arises but it is pretty evident from my own experience to date. Of course, there are the celebrity cases too which would give an old man hope;

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7018737/Lady-Kitty-Spencer-28-fashion-tycoon-boyfriend-spotted-leaving-luxury-New-York-hotel.html

She's 28, he's 60. Her parents divorced when she was 7.

You’re 31.

Tycoon scores young one. I. Am. Shocked. I already mentioned celebs and how their lives give false hope. Very rich men are also in that category.

Assetbacked · 30-01-2020 5:23pm

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

You’re 31.

Tycoon scores young one. I. Am. Shocked.

Personal experience, yes, but also via this personal experience (i.e. friends of my friend) it is evident. It's not news to highlight that girls with daddy issues like older guys. Daddy issues does not even mean not having a dad, just one that is absent, whether physically or emotionally. These girls go for older guys as guys their own age, they say, are so immature.

And I'm not saying this in some sort of dating-tactics/creep sort of way, just highlighting this fact in the context of not dating girls over 30 if ever I find myself single in the future.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 30-01-2020 5:23pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

It’s fine if you’re a good looking guy, who dresses well, shaves and keeps in “shape”.

If you’re some red faced clown with long, messy, hair, a scraggly beard, overweight, wears converse runners with “bootcut” jeans you can forgot about getting near any young ones with “daddy issues”.

So I don’t think these lads on here will be doing anything other than what they’re doing now, sitting in, playing computer games and “whacking off” to Japanese cartoon porn.

To be honest, even those 40-somethings weren’t on the radar of my circle in our 20s. It’s not impossible but just rare.

Deal breakers and turn-off's in dating!

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