Workplace Christmas parties: obligation to attend?

political analyst · 09-12-2019 3:40am #1

The following article was written by clinical psychotherapist Stephanie Regan.

https://www.independent.ie/opinion/comment/stephanie-regan-do-we-need-sober-chaperones-to-stop-the-office-christmas-party-becoming-a-feast-of-embarrassment-and-regret-38758778.html

Many people dread the Christmas party and feel obliged to attend, not wanting to be the party pooper. They may be shy, socially anxious or have a domestic situation that makes it difficult for them.

There's no obligation in any employment contract that I know of to attend a staff Christmas party. What employees do in their own time is their own business. Employers wouldn't be doing themselves any favours if they invaded their employees' privacy.

So why would a worker who doesn't want to attend his or her workplace's Christmas party be regarded as a party pooper?

Your Face · 09-12-2019 4:05am

I worked in a place where if you weren't on most work outings or events, you were somehow not a team player and a bit odd.
It didn't work for me as a person who loves their time away from work.

Potential-Monke · 09-12-2019 6:02am

Yeah, it's peer pressure, plain and simple. I did attend this years one, only because it's a new job and the place they were having it in was supposed to have savage food. I usually don't attend these. I didn't drink, but the food was indeed savage. Then the tipsy managers coming over asking how you are and speaking work speak. Like, go away, I don't want to talk about work outside of work...

My brother works here too, but for 5 years before I started. He doesn't attend because a: he's 48 and most of his team are <25, b: he's married with 2 young teens, and c: he lives in the country so a taxi would be €80+. And they're constantly onto him about attending.

Quantum Erasure · 09-12-2019 6:22am

ah, its great craic. when you can use the excuse of a few too many beers, to tell the manager what you really think of him....

Potential-Monke · 09-12-2019 6:24am

Except it's 2019, and you'll probably get fired and brought to court for harassment or some other such crap.

whisky_galore · 09-12-2019 9:32am

There's no obligation to turn up at sh1tty work parties or lame team building crap.

I spent enough of the year with work colleagues I dislike, I'm damned if I have to be around them in my free time as well.

mariaalice · 09-12-2019 9:43am

How do people make life so difficult for themselves, if they really do not want to go do not go, on the other hand making a big deal of not going is odd and is a bit of a precaution complex?

There is a skill in going, haveing one or two drinks or not drinking being able to make small talk and then leave, but mostly just have a laugh and enjoy yourself.

Mrs OBumble · 09-12-2019 9:47am

Go. Spend an hour working the room with a glass of sparkling water in your hand. Talk to as many people as possible. Leave. Job done.

Or get a new job with people you like spending time with.

Wanderer78 · 09-12-2019 10:04am

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Go. Spend an hour working the room with a glass of sparkling water in your hand. Talk to as many people as possible. Leave. Job done.

Or get a new job with people you like spending time with.

or ignore it, as theres been plenty of work done this year, and enjoy the break

Atlantic Dawn · 09-12-2019 10:08am

I stopped going to them when I was expected to put my hand in my pocket as their guest for their party. Free beer and food for majority of the night or good luck. It's like inviting someone to your wedding and issuing them an invoice for the meal.

D3V!L · 09-12-2019 10:13am

Working as an IT manager I find the majority of staff wont even bid you a good day unless they want something and then they're as nice as pie like we're best buddies !! :rolleyes:

I'll be f*cked if I'm socialising with these type of people.

Greyfox · 09-12-2019 10:15am

political analyst wrote: »

doesn't want to attend his or her workplace's Christmas party be regarded as a party pooper?

I think the problem is with the snowflakes who have issue with been called a party pooper. The people going to the xmas do just want as many there as possible as if loads don't go it could be a crap night. Sometimes its just nice to see people you work with in a more relaxed environment, xmas do's are just a bit of craic. to be honest only an eejit would feel obliged to go

JeffKenna · 09-12-2019 10:15am

D3V!L wrote: »

Working as an IT manager I find the majority of staff wont even bid you a good day unless they want something and then they're as nice as pie like we're best buddies !! :rolleyes:

I'll be f*cked if I'm socialising with these type of people.

You sound like a great manager.

Wanderer78 · 09-12-2019 10:16am

Greyfox wrote: »

I think the problem is with the snowflakes who have issue with been called a party pooper. The people going to the xmas do just want as many there as possible as if loads don't go it could be a crap night. Sometimes its just nice to see people you work with in a more relaxed environment, xmas do's are just a bit of craic. to be honest only an eejit would feel obliged to go

work social nights are dreadful, lifes too short for them

D3V!L · 09-12-2019 10:20am

JeffKenna wrote: »

You sound like a great manager.

Thanks

KaneToad · 09-12-2019 10:22am

Workplace parties are work events. I don't attend work events on my own time. Plenty of people have no problem attending work events on their own time - good luck to them. Not for me.

andekwarhola · 09-12-2019 10:29am

The issue here is most likely you.

Go and get pissed; go and have a sparkling water for an hour or just make an excuse not to go. All your choice.

I very much doubt any of your colleagues actually care that much.

I skip as many Xmas events as I attend and it has zero effect on my relationship with my colleagues. That said, I'm an adult. I just work with them and enjoy civil, office interactions with them. I don't stew away about how much they're not my types or are my types.

Greyfox · 09-12-2019 10:30am

Wanderer78 wrote: »

work social nights are dreadful, lifes too short for them

If drinking with people I work with was horrible I wouldnt want to talk to them during the week and would get a different job

golfball37 · 09-12-2019 10:34am

I worked in a place where your annual bonus was docked for every social function you didn't attend such as xmas party etc.

Wanderer78 · 09-12-2019 10:38am

Greyfox wrote: »

If drinking with people I work with was horrible I wouldnt want to talk to them during the week and would get a different job

maybe its not the people, but the environment, we dont all have the freedom of moving jobs

threetrees · 09-12-2019 10:39am

I can cope with the sit down meal, chat, food, drinks, good laugh etc. The post meal drinking session is not for me, I really dislike that an usually leave around then.

Mundo7976 · 09-12-2019 10:42am

A resounding and firm no from me, couldn't give a fook what they think, bad enough I have to listen to tiresome childishness every day without doing so on my time too!

Stovepipe · 09-12-2019 10:45am

I didnt attend our Crew Xmas bash because it was too far, too expensive and there are one or two attendees that I don't want to spend time with, outside of work. I got slagged for it but later found out that a lot more people had cried off. As for forced attendance at company events, I saw that at a place in America where I worked. Workers were genuinely pissed off but felt they had to attend. When I and my fellow Irish colleagues were asked why we didnt attend, we told them that it wasn't in our (Irish junior partner) company's policy or our nature to force people to attend and apart from us, family people resented having to give up family time to stand around eating lukewarm pizza and pretending to be interested in production statistics. In that Company, the events dwindled to one a year.

El_Duderino 09 · 09-12-2019 10:51am

I look forward to the christmas party. It happens during work time so no need to log on for the day. Some daft quiz in the morning milling about, I usually make mulled cider to share in the morning. Then off for lunch at 12 and a reserved area in a pub until 5. No obligation to attend, if you prefer to work you're welcome to do that instead.

It's usually a good day out.

Manach · 09-12-2019 10:52am

God no. The last company I was in gave parties with poor food, small venue and an awful sound system. I do not mind socialising with work colleagues but not in dingy conditions driven by lowest cost budget considerations.

GBX · 09-12-2019 10:52am

I went to mine on Friday. Got drunk, dont remember much. No loss.

Kimbot · 09-12-2019 10:53am

Ah i only have 2 staff working for me but we will head out on Saturday and have some grub and drinkies

han2000 · 09-12-2019 11:01am

It may not be in my contract to attend but it's definitely frowned upon by management.

Last year I really didn't want to go but there's not much choice.
There are some very shy people I work with who I know would love not to attend but again not much choice.

It's all paid for though so that kind of makes up for it:D

Edgware · 09-12-2019 11:01am

GBX wrote: »

I went to mine on Friday. Got drunk, dont remember much. No loss.

Have you checked the Whats App group today?

fire_man · 09-12-2019 11:11am

Better to leave soon after dinner. Here messy with loads of drink involved and could cost you later.

TheMilkyPirate · 09-12-2019 11:16am

I've been at my place for 5 years now, Get on with everyone here but never once went to a Christmas party or work drinks. I have plenty of friends outside of work to socialize with.

People feeling obliged to go and worrying about being called a party pooper.. please grow up and stop caring what people think about you.

Workplace Christmas parties: obligation to attend?

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