Workplace Christmas parties: obligation to attend?

Mister Vain

Sometimes you get ridiculed more for going than for not going.

mariaalice

chrissb8 wrote: »

That's because when people get drunk they like others to be drunk around them. Not for any perceived "You're no craic" thing.

More so that they feel they're being judged and you have some fictional high ground over them.

That's what I feel anyway. If someone doesn't drink and comes to one of these parties or an event where people are guaranteed to get p****d, keeps a smile and a listening ear even when they've being told the same thing from the same person for the 4th time, with their arm drunkenly slung over their shoulder pulling them in closer so they can shout an inch away from their ear that night then fair play.

I applaud that patience, because if I know I'm not drinking at such an event I dodge it.

The thing is realising its time to leave, last year my husband said it was when some drunken fool in his forties start talking abou woman and boasting about how many women he had sleep with!

mikecope

How much you enjoy the Christmas party depends on how old you are. When you're single and in your twenties then it's fun, free food and drink and you never know who you might get off with but after your forties the free food and drink doesn't matter, you can have more meaningful conversions with the colleagues at work and getting off isn't an option for many, so it becomes more of a social obligation than a good night out.

Stacksofwacks

I don't mind them too much cos the current crowd I work with are pretty sound.We go out together quite often and If you do act the eejit a little its not brought into work the next day. A previous company I worked with was a nightmare cos youd be going into work after a night out wondering if you still have a job! Snitches and moaners everywhere.

B.A._Baracus

You play the game.
For example, someone in a job 5 months out of a 6 month probationary period should go to a Christmas party. Be friendly and be alright. Get the probation period sorted.
That said, someone in the same job 5 years doesn't have to. If they don't want to.

The job culture comes in to play too. I have had jobs where I would have no interest in attending any social event after work. Others I was like "this will be great craic" - so that's a factor.

hardybuck

Public sector worker here. Didn't go for the first time in years and felt a little bit funny not going.

We'd have a bigger party for the wider organisation and one for the business division you work in. The former costs €25 to attend, and the social committee basically gets a load of drink in an off licence and gets caterers into the office canteen. The latter is out at a restaurant next week and again everyone pays - I think about €40 this year. Managers tend to buy the wine for the more junior staff.

I've just skipped the bigger one last night for the first time in years. Was in two minds and nearly went, but kinda satisfied to be fresh as a daisy this morning and to have avoided the hassle.

Will go to the divisional event next week as it's a better chance to engage with colleagues and I would be far more inclined to make an effort to engage with them on a social level.

Seamai

Had a very civilised unofficial night out last night with 3 work colleagues I get on well with, no drama or bit*hing and plenty of laughs with very little alcohol, home by 11pm, plenty of drama on the bus on the way home though, when a fight broke out between two drunken women in their 40's, one who was what I would call very "respectable" but obviously couldn't hold her drink after a Christmas night out, the two of them were vicious, trading vile insults at each other, I was just about to step in before it became physical when another beat me to it.
I was glad he did, I wasn't looking forward to having my face rearranged in time for Christmas.

Biodegradable

whisky_galore wrote: »

I spent enough of the year with work colleagues I dislike, I'm damned if I have to be around them in my free time as well.

Not to mention that you'd actually have to pay something towards it!

Biodegradable

I never jerk off the day before attending one of these bloody things! Just in case.

ITman88

Biodegradable wrote: »

I never jerk off the day before attending one of these bloody things! Just in case.

So you can jerk off during the party??!

IAMAMORON

hardybuck wrote: »

Public sector worker here. Didn't go for the first time in years and felt a little bit funny not going.

We'd have a bigger party for the wider organisation and one for the business division you work in. The former costs €25 to attend, and the social committee basically gets a load of drink in an off licence and gets caterers into the office canteen. The latter is out at a restaurant next week and again everyone pays - I think about €40 this year. Managers tend to buy the wine for the more junior staff.

I've just skipped the bigger one last night for the first time in years. Was in two minds and nearly went, but kinda satisfied to be fresh as a daisy this morning and to have avoided the hassle.

Will go to the divisional event next week as it's a better chance to engage with colleagues and I would be far more inclined to make an effort to engage with them on a social level.

If they won't pay for a party I would not go. It costs around € 100 a head.

Skipped mine tonight. Annoyed myself to hell about it earlier up until such a time as it was too late to go. Delighted now.

hardybuck

IAMAMORON wrote: »

If they won't pay for a party I would not go. It costs around € 100 a head.

That's just the deal for everyone - you won't ever be getting parties paid for by the employer.

andekwarhola

Went to mine the other night for first time in a few years. Was up for something the next morning so just had a few pints before the dinner, nice dinner and left around 9.30. Enjoyed it. Talking to some nice people.

Minimal thought given to entire process, in keeping with being an adult.

ToxicPaddy

Had mine last week. Some nice food, few drinks, chatted to a few colleagues I'm friendly with but don't work with on a daily basis. Left after about 4 hours and went home. Was a relaxed enjoyable night.

I tend to go to most work social events as its a good way to get to know people on a social level outside of work which helps in work if you have to work on projects with them.

If you don't like your colleagues or hate socialising with them on your own time, don't go. It's not a difficult decision.

MayoAreMagic

I dont really understand the whole 'I dont like my work colleagues and it is my time so im not going, and if they ask about it my response will be deliberately surly, as well as displaying thinly veiled contempt' approach.

What good is that doing?

In any work situation, it pays to be fair and respectful towards your colleagues. You never know what the future holds in a position, and you could need a good turn or a heads up from them before you know it. Why deliberately sabotage that for no real reason? Keeping relstions good is a good idea in general.

I had a manager once who didnt drink and was a fish out of water in pub culture. He lived a solid 45 minutes from town, had young kids and was a little socially awkward to boot. Yet he made the effort to go to every single work do that he could make. He chatted with people, had a few still waters, ate his food and without fail, made his exit at around 11, wishing people a good night as he did and any odd jibe was handled with a smile. Nobody really minded because they could see the effort he put in to attend and they respected it. He wasnt the life and soul of the party but he didnt have to be. He was just willing to spend his time in his colleagues company and in doing so, showed them respect and displayed excellent professionalism.

The cynics in here might say, what a fool.
But the same guy has risen to a high position in the company, underpinned in no small way, by that excellent attitude. If people think that their attitude towards work dos etc is not taken notice of, they are being naive. Everyone can miss one or two. But if you are consistently missing them to the point of it being obvious you are ducking them, that will make people make assumptions about your personality or attitude, even without realising they are doing it. A guy who gets on well with everyone at work yet always ducks the work do for example, could over time build up an image of being a bit standoffish or maybe even a bit false. That is just human nature and we do it ourselves without noticing it. For the sake of a few hours of a day each year, it isnt a big cost to pay

Mister Vain

MayoAreMagic wrote: »

I dont really understand the whole 'I dont like my work colleagues and it is my time so im not going, and if they ask about it my response will be deliberately surly, as well as displaying thinly veiled contempt' approach.

What good is that doing?

In any work situation, it pays to be fair and respectful towards your colleagues. You never know what the future holds in a position, and you could need a good turn or a heads up from them before you know it. Why deliberately sabotage that for no real reason? Keeping relstions good is a good idea in general.

I had a manager once who didnt drink and was a fish out of water in pub culture. He lived a solid 45 minutes from town, had young kids and was a little socially awkward to boot. Yet he made the effort to go to every single work do that he could make. He chatted with people, had a few still waters, ate his food and without fail, made his exit at around 11, wishing people a good night as he did and any odd jibe was handled with a smile. Nobody really minded because they could see the effort he put in to attend and they respected it. He wasnt the life and soul of the party but he didnt have to be. He was just willing to spend his time in his colleagues company and in doing so, showed them respect and displayed excellent professionalism.

The cynics in here might say, what a fool.
But the same guy has risen to a high position in the company, underpinned in no small way, by that excellent attitude. If people think that their attitude towards work dos etc is not taken notice of, they are being naive. Everyone can miss one or two. But if you are consistently missing them to the point of it being obvious you are ducking them, that will make people make assumptions about your personality or attitude, even without realising they are doing it. A guy who gets on well with everyone at work yet always ducks the work do for example, could over time build up an image of being a bit standoffish or maybe even a bit false. That is just human nature and we do it ourselves without noticing it. For the sake of a few hours of a day each year, it isnt a big cost to pay

The last paragraph is interesting. I hadn't really thought of it that way. Although there's making assumptions and there's ridiculing. The manager in your example might not got off as lightly in a different job. As I said earlier, you can't please everyone.

I’ve made the mistake too many times of saying I’m going and then pulling out, which does look bad especially if numbers are booked. Saying you’re not going really isn’t taken as an answer when it’s being booked in my place, but I think a bit of firmness at that stage with a No would look a lot better and leaves nobody guessing and nobody short.

Snow Garden

I go to every 2nd Xmas party. They are as bad a wedding though. A boring/false chore that you sometimes have to attend.

Biodegradable

MayoAreMagic wrote: »

For the sake of a few hours of a day each year, it isnt a big cost to pay

Not for me. I took that view this year because I was new, but I was put down for work starting at 7 am the morning after the party. I only had 4 hours sleep and if that wasn't bad enough, the person on the same shift the day before didn't do the preparations for for the next day (my shift). That stressed me out a lot, and then the day straight after that I got landed a 10 hour shift. This is part of the reason I am currently sick.

The other day at work a girl who ended up getting 8 work days in a row wanted to swap shifts with me. If she did, it would've meant that I would have ended up doing 6 days in a row. I told her 'no' and I'm now sort of in her bad books. If it wasn't for the sickness I might have swapped it.

If it was the sort of company that gets the weekend off, then I'd agree with what you say.

AbdAlAla

As a muslim no, I don't attend christmes parties.

IAMAMORON

AbdAlAla wrote: »

As a muslim no, I don't attend christmes parties.

Controversial …… Anything else you " don't do ".

I know loads of Muslims who celebrate Christmas btw. Just in case you don't.

TheW1zard

IAMAMORON wrote: »

Controversial …… Anything else you " don't do ".

I know loads of Muslims who celebrate Christmas btw. Just in case you don't.

Religious jokes:pac:

TheAsYLuMkeY

AbdAlAla wrote: »

As a muslim no, I don't attend christmes parties.

What has a ‘Christmas’ party got to do with religion?

Its an end of year get together by people who work together, whether you muslim, catholic or anything else, the year ends and new one begins on the 21st Dec, that’s pretty much the real reason we celebrate at so called ‘Christmas’.

If you do a little research you can discover, the placing of a star on top of the tree is nothing to do with religion, it is about the worship of the planet Saturn, who in Roman and Greek mythology was Saturnus and Cronos, the Gods of Sowing seeds and Agriculture, the reason we celebrate is because we have moved past the mid point of the year and can look forward to a time when we can plant, grow and harvest food again.

Now at this point you may object as we are now talking about Roman and Greeks gods, but it is widely accepted that these are just Myth.

Therefore, everyone can celebrate at this time of year with people they know no matter what religion they identify with as it is simply a celebration of the coming new year and time of growth and harvest again.

Nothing to do with any religion.

pablo128

TheAsYLuMkeY wrote: »

What has a ‘Christmas’ party got to do with religion?

Its an end of year get together by people who work together, whether you muslim, catholic or anything else, the year ends and new one begins on the 21st Dec, that’s pretty much the real reason we celebrate at so called ‘Christmas’.

If you do a little research you can discover, the placing of a star on top of the tree is nothing to do with religion, it is about the worship of the planet Saturn, who in Roman and Greek mythology was Saturnus and Cronos, the Gods of Sowing seeds and Agriculture, the reason we celebrate is because we have moved past the mid point of the year and can look forward to a time when we can plant, grow and harvest food again.

Now at this point you may object as we are now talking about Roman and Greeks gods, but it is widely accepted that these are just Myth.

Therefore, everyone can celebrate at this time of year with people they know no matter what religion they identify with as it is simply a celebration of the coming new year and time of growth and harvest again.

Nothing to do with any religion.

You know full well people will be buckled drunk, and the Muslim religion forbids them to drink alcohol. It's also a pain in the arse being sober while everyone around you is inebriated and loud and messy.

TheAsYLuMkeY

pablo128 wrote: »

You know full well people will be buckled drunk, and the Muslim religion forbids them to drink alcohol. It's also a pain in the arse being sober while everyone around you is inebriated and loud and messy.

I agree 100% with your post, and a few pages back I explained my reasons I do not attend the end of year party.

If the reason for not going is because it is perceived as being religious based, I was highlighting why it’s a misconception.

If the poster wanted to go out for an end of year dinner with some work colleagues and not drink, then I feel what I have offered may be of some value.

Edit: Further to my comment above, if there were a number of Muslim staff that wanted to all go out with the rest of the company at the end of the year, they could have a good time in each others company, without drink & in the knowledge it is nothing religious based they are attending.