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I did not want to show the world the sadness in my eyes.

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    #122
    reg114
    Registered Users Posts: 687 ✭✭✭reg114


    Stevieluvsye wrote: »
    Or even spill it to the tabloids "accidently" and she can claim someone else sold the info to them, set up a teary interview on how you couldn't finmd the courage to express yourself, write some soppy sh!te song and there you go.

    It's just weird.

    Well Rape tends to be ..

    Look folks unless you are currently or have been someone living in the public eye and are a victim of rape yourself, its arrogance in the extreme to err on the side of cynicism as to why Duffy has made the statement she has. This is the problem with sexual violence. Victims tend to have to fight to be heard never mind believed. The attitude very evident on this forum, even the title of this thread is a microcosm of the blase attitude towards rape victims.

    You either believe her or you're calling her a liar, if you hold any other opinion its pure speculation. Its really that simple.


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    #123
    El_Duderino 09
    Registered Users Posts: 20,004 ✭✭✭✭El_Duderino 09


    Millicently wrote: »
    Whereas you are arguing that she should be believed because of a lack of evidence to the contrary. Do you recall any story of her going missing over the last 10 years? No, didn't think so. Some of us prefer to have equality for all and believe that everyone is should be treated fairly. I don't believe in accepting someone's word that they were raped simply because they say they were. It's a nightmare area but being a woman shouldn't give you more rights than a man and being a man shouldn't mean that your guilt is assumed when a rape complaint is made without evidence.

    I got as far as the bit in bold and you’re completely wrong already. Didn’t bother reading the rest.

    Quote me saying she should be believed....


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    #124
    Stevieluvsye
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,907 ✭✭✭Stevieluvsye


    El_Duderino 09 wrote: »
    Maybe she thinks it’s a serious topic and just wants to get it out rather than simply cynically using it to make money. Imagine that.

    But the important thing is she’s wrong, right?

    Having to correct a story the press has created could take years. Why not just tell the story yourself?

    I said in a previous post i won't speculate whether she was, or was not raped. Because, guess what..........I don't know

    Like does this even need to be in the public domain? Has she spoken to the cops? Does this statement prejudice a potential future case? Why is she releasing a pre-statement and not give all the details now?

    As i said, it's bizarre


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    #125
    Stevieluvsye
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,907 ✭✭✭Stevieluvsye


    reg114 wrote: »
    Well Rape tends to be ..

    Look folks unless you are currently or have been someone living in the public eye and are a victim of rape yourself, its arrogance in the extreme to err on the side of cynicism as to why Duffy has made the statement she has. This is the problem with sexual violence. Victims tend to have to fight to be heard never mind believed. The attitude very evident on this forum, even the title of this thread is a microcosm of the blase attitude towards rape victims.

    You either believe her or you're calling her a liar, if you hold any other opinion its pure speculation. Its really that simple.

    Oh FFS

    Read my post on the last page and correct yourself


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    #126
    Omackeral
    Registered Users Posts: 32,956 ✭✭✭✭Omackeral


    I'm starting to worry about Mika now.


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    #127
    El_Duderino 09
    Registered Users Posts: 20,004 ✭✭✭✭El_Duderino 09


    Stevieluvsye wrote: »
    I said in a previous post i won't speculate whether she was, or was not raped. Because, guess what..........I don't know

    Like does this even need to be in the public domain? Has she spoken to the cops? Does this statement prejudice a potential future case? Why is she releasing a pre-statement and not give all the details now?

    As i said, it's bizarre

    I just said how there is no middle ground for a celebrity. They can’t just tell a few family and friends because it will get out in Chinese whispers style and then they could spend years trying to set the record straight.

    So they either button up and tell nobody, ever. Or they tell the story themselves. She told the salient details in a short story. It’s not that bizarre at all really.


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    #128
    Stevieluvsye
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,907 ✭✭✭Stevieluvsye


    El_Duderino 09 wrote: »
    I just said how there is no middle ground for a celebrity. They can’t just tell a few family and friends because it will get out in Chinese whispers style and then they could spend years trying to set the record straight.

    So they either button up and tell nobody, ever. Or they tell the story themselves. She told the salient details in a short story. It’s not that bizarre at all really.

    Well i tell you one thing! If this all happened 5 years ago or further back, then it is bizarre but i don't think she has given the dates (Not sure)

    Anyway, call me a doubting thomas but i wouldn't be shocked if a new song/album suddenly gets promoted


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    #129
    Millicently
    Closed Accounts Posts: 478 ✭✭Millicently


    Stevieluvsye wrote: »
    Well i tell you one thing! If this all happened 5 years ago or further back, then it is bizarre but i don't think she has given the dates (Not sure)

    Anyway, call me a doubting thomas but i wouldn't be shocked if a new song/album suddenly gets promoted
    I've been listening to the stuff she's been saying read out on Sky news and honestly it sounds like she's off her medication. I'm beginning to wonder if she slipped out of a psychiatric unit somewhere.


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    #130
    El_Duderino 09
    Registered Users Posts: 20,004 ✭✭✭✭El_Duderino 09


    Stevieluvsye wrote: »
    Well i tell you one thing! If this all happened 5 years ago or further back, then it is bizarre but i don't think she has given the dates (Not sure)

    Anyway, call me a doubting thomas but i wouldn't be shocked if a new song/album suddenly gets promoted

    You don’t believe that celebrities struggle to keep their secrets to just their family and friends? Or you doubt that those secrets often get out to the entertainment press? Or you doubt that it’s easier for a celebrity to simply tell their own story than allow the tabloids to do it? Or you doubt it takes time and effort to set the story straight after the tabloids tell a story inaccurately?

    Which of those things do you doubt?


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    #131
    Tired Gardener
    Closed Accounts Posts: 456 ✭✭Tired Gardener


    Why do people have this odd sense that she is obligated to tell all the details of her ordeal, why must she prove to random strangers on the internet who are more than likely not involved in this, that it happened? What benefit does that do anyone?

    She spoke about it briefly in an interview as a part of her recovery process no doubt.

    The way we as a society treat the victims of Rape is grotesque.


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    #132
    El_Duderino 09
    Registered Users Posts: 20,004 ✭✭✭✭El_Duderino 09


    Tired Gardener wrote: »
    Why do people have this odd sense that she is obligated to tell all the details of her ordeal, why must she prove to random strangers on the internet who are more than likely not involved in this, that it happened? What benefit does that do anyone?

    She spoke about it briefly in an interview as a part of her recovery process no doubt.

    The way we as a society treat the victims of Rape is grotesque.

    Some people just assume the worst. The notion of compassion doesn’t enter into their thoughts.


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    #133
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    Stevieluvsye wrote: »
    I said in a previous post i won't speculate whether she was, or was not raped. Because, guess what..........I don't know

    Like does this even need to be in the public domain? Has she spoken to the cops? Does this statement prejudice a potential future case? Why is she releasing a pre-statement and not give all the details now?

    As i said, it's bizarre

    I've been raped. When I finally felt ready to tell people I did via a Facebook post. I'm not a celebrity so I didn't have any of the ****e that goes with being out of work for years and then having to explain where you were. I felt social media allowed me to tell as many people as I needed in one go, in my own words and without having to put myself through talking about it. And you know what, it was great. It was the best way I could have done it. Did everyone need to know? No but I wanted them to know because it had a huge impact on who I was and affected all areas of my life and I didn't want to carry it as a secret any more. I needed people to know so I could be minded.

    I will never second guess why anyone chooses to tell things that are so significant or how they tell them. I don't know if this is true or not but until I have proof either way I will assume its genuine because I know how calling someone a liar could affect another person who has experienced sexual violence. We're always liars in some people's eyes.


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    #134
    Raconteuse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,817 ✭✭✭Raconteuse


    Tired Gardener wrote: »
    The way we as a society treat the victims of Rape is grotesque.
    I don't think so. I think it's just a small but not insignificant, and loud, crowd who are latching on to the craze of viewing all women as suspicious because of some.


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    #135
    Stevieluvsye
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,907 ✭✭✭Stevieluvsye


    El_Duderino 09 wrote: »
    You don’t believe that celebrities struggle to keep their secrets to just their family and friends? Or you doubt that those secrets often get out to the entertainment press? Or you doubt that it’s easier for a celebrity to simply tell their own story than allow the tabloids to do it? Or you doubt it takes time and effort to set the story straight after the tabloids tell a story inaccurately?

    Which of those things do you doubt?

    Jesus, i have made my points in previous posts.

    I'm going to assume a new song/album is in the pipeline. I'll give it 6 months and if i'm wrong i'll come back and state i was incorrect

    This is why i don't post over in CA because your opinion is always wrong. ALWAYS


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    #136
    Millicently
    Closed Accounts Posts: 478 ✭✭Millicently


    Tired Gardener wrote: »
    Why do people have this odd sense that she is obligated to tell all the details of her ordeal, why must she prove to random strangers on the internet who are more than likely not involved in this, that it happened? What benefit does that do anyone?

    She spoke about it briefly in an interview as a part of her recovery process no doubt.

    The way we as a society treat the victims of Rape is grotesque.
    She announced it on Instagram and invited people to submit questions for her to answer about it in the coming weeks. Please elaborate on how that isn't bizarre? What part of the healing process does that help? Seriously, I'd love to know because if she had told her story in full on Instagram today nobody would remember it next week but she has arranged this to drag it out over as many weeks as she feels she can. Rape victims generally don't invite the world to submit questions on their ordeal.


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    #137
    Millicently
    Closed Accounts Posts: 478 ✭✭Millicently


    El_Duderino 09 wrote: »
    I got as far as the bit in bold and you’re completely wrong already. Didn’t bother reading the rest.

    Quote me saying she should be believed....
    Read your own posts.


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    #138
    SusieBlue
    Registered Users Posts: 8,029 ✭✭✭SusieBlue


    Millicently wrote: »
    She announced it on Instagram and invited people to submit questions for her to answer about it in the coming weeks. Please elaborate on how that isn't bizarre? What part of the healing process does that help? Seriously, I'd love to know because if she had told her story in full on Instagram today nobody would remember it next week but she has arranged this to drag it out over as many weeks as she feels she can. Rape victims generally don't invite the world to submit questions on their ordeal

    There is no handbook of guidelines on how to disclose to others that you've been raped. What's compeltely normal and standard for one person, will be bizarre to another.
    You are holding her to your own standards - just because it isn't how you think you'd handle the situation, doesn't mean her way is wrong.
    And it certainly doesn't make her a liar either.


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    #139
    Stevieluvsye
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,907 ✭✭✭Stevieluvsye


    eviltwin wrote: »
    I've been raped. When I finally felt ready to tell people I did via a Facebook post. I'm not a celebrity so I didn't have any of the ****e that goes with being out of work for years and then having to explain where you were. I felt social media allowed me to tell as many people as I needed in one go, in my own words and without having to put myself through talking about it. And you know what, it was great. It was the best way I could have done it. Did everyone need to know? No but I wanted them to know because it had a huge impact on who I was and affected all areas of my life and I didn't want to carry it as a secret any more. I needed people to know so I could be minded.

    I will never second guess why anyone chooses to tell things that are so significant or how they tell them. I don't know if this is true or not but until I have proof either way I will assume its genuine because I know how calling someone a liar could affect another person who has experienced sexual violence. We're always liars in some people's eyes.

    Sorry to hear about your own personal experience but lets be clear i'm not suggesting she was or was not raped as i don't know.

    Bit have bolded a sentence above which is why i think there may be another motive


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    #140
    El_Duderino 09
    Registered Users Posts: 20,004 ✭✭✭✭El_Duderino 09


    Stevieluvsye wrote: »
    Jesus, i have made my points in previous posts.

    I'm going to assume a new song/album is in the pipeline. I'll give it 6 months and if i'm wrong i'll come back and state i was incorrect

    This is why i don't post over in CA because your opinion is always wrong. ALWAYS

    Lol. Well, you’ve nailed your colours to the mast there. A simple case of making a snap decision and allowing following information to be coloured by the initial snap decision.

    I’ll just be honest and say I don’t have a clue one way or the other but you go on ahead and pretend you know whatever you want. If presuming the worst about a person who claims to have been raped makes you happy, then go for it.


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    #141
    Stevieluvsye
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,907 ✭✭✭Stevieluvsye


    El_Duderino 09 wrote: »
    Lol. Well, you’ve nailed your colours to the mast there. A simple case of making a snap decision and allowing following information to be coloured by the initial snap decision.

    I’ll just be honest and say I don’t have a clue one way or the other but you go on ahead and pretend you know whatever you want. If presuming the worst about a person who claims to have been raped makes you happy, then go for it.

    Well said


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    #142
    Millicently
    Closed Accounts Posts: 478 ✭✭Millicently


    SusieBlue wrote: »
    There is no handbook of guidelines on how to disclose to others that you've been raped. What's compeltely normal and standard for one person, will be bizarre to another.
    You are holding her to your own standards - just because it isn't how you think you'd handle the situation, doesn't mean her way is wrong.
    And it certainly doesn't make her a liar either.
    You believe what you like and in a few weeks time when you might just feel like a tit for saying that I promise I won't say I told you so.


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    #143
    SusieBlue
    Registered Users Posts: 8,029 ✭✭✭SusieBlue


    Millicently wrote: »
    You believe what you like and in a few weeks time when you might just feel like a tit for saying that I promise I won't say I told you so.

    I might feel like a tit for saying that there is no normal or standard protocol for disclosing that you've been raped?
    No, I won't regret saying that, regardless of whatever you see happening in your crystal ball.


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    #144
    El_Duderino 09
    Registered Users Posts: 20,004 ✭✭✭✭El_Duderino 09


    Millicently wrote: »
    Read your own posts.

    I have read my posts. You on the other hand, haven’t read them. I haven’t once said she should be believed and I’ve actually said I don’t believe her because there isn’t enough evidence to conclude one way or the other. You’re talking out your hoop.

    Unless you can quote me saying I think she should be believed, even once. Just one instance of me saying she should be believed....


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    #145
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    This woman can't win. She's a musician, her career involves releasing music. Now if she tries to go back to that career she's going to be judged and accused of cashing in? What else is she supposed to do?


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    #146
    El_Duderino 09
    Registered Users Posts: 20,004 ✭✭✭✭El_Duderino 09


    eviltwin wrote: »
    This woman can't win. She's a musician, her career involves releasing music. Now if she tries to go back to that career she's going to be judged and accused of cashing in? What else is she supposed to do?

    It’s genuinely fascinating to see people assume the worst. It must just be in some people’s nature to think the worst of people which, I think, would be a miserable way to live.

    I don’t know if she was raped. Not enough evidence to conclude one way or the other. But I would definitely advocate treating someone who claims to have been raped, with compassion.


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    #147
    One eyed Jack
    Registered Users Posts: 23,690 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    eviltwin wrote: »
    This woman can't win. She's a musician, her career involves releasing music. Now if she tries to go back to that career she's going to be judged and accused of cashing in? What else is she supposed to do?


    She took a break from the music business after dismal sales of her second album.

    I don’t imagine there were that many people wondering where she went, so this comes as somewhat out of the blue by way of explaining her absence from the music business. I suppose she could have just stayed in obscurity and nobody would have bothered her, but it’s a big ask for her privacy to be respected while at the same making announcements on social media releasing vague tidbits and planning on serialising her ordeal in Rolling Stone. I can’t say I blame people for being cynical in this particular circumstance. It doesn’t mean they react in the same fashion to every story at all, let alone when someone who isn’t a celebrity shares their experiences.


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    #148
    Stevieluvsye
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,907 ✭✭✭Stevieluvsye


    One eyed Jack wrote: »
    She took a break from the music business after dismal sales of her second album.

    I don’t imagine there were that many people wondering where she went, so this comes as somewhat out of the blue by way of explaining her absence from the music business. I suppose she could have just stayed in obscurity and nobody would have bothered her, but it’s a big ask for her privacy to be respected while at the same making announcements on social media releasing vague tidbits and planning on serialising her ordeal in Rolling Stone. I can’t say I blame people for being cynical in this particular circumstance. It doesn’t mean they react in the same fashion to every story at all, let alone when someone who isn’t a celebrity shares their experiences.

    Don't waste your time time chief


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    #149
    creditcarder
    Closed Accounts Posts: 494 ✭✭creditcarder


    Raconteuse wrote: »
    I don't think so. I think it's just a small but not insignificant, and loud, crowd who are latching on to the craze of viewing all women as suspicious because of some.


    Not some in fairness. There seems to be a huge amount of false/exagerated (drunk, power imbalance, interchangeable use of the word harrasment/sexual assault and rape) lately



    I don't blame anybody for being suspicious imo. l


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    #150
    Raconteuse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,817 ✭✭✭Raconteuse


    creditcarder wrote: »
    Not some in fairness. There seems to be a huge amount of false/exagerated (drunk, power imbalance, interchangeable use of the word harrasment/sexual assault and rape) lately
    No there doesn't.

    I certainly do blame people for being suspicious just because it's a woman who has made the claim.


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    #151
    Ninthlife
    Registered Users Posts: 2,243 ✭✭✭Ninthlife


    This thread has confirmed I shouldnt come to boards looking for sympathy or compassion


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