Walter Mitty thread

RWCNT · 28-02-2020 7:38pm

After I graduated uni in the UK I worked in a dreadful call centre for a fee weeks that was essentially outbound cold calling trying to scam people. Dreadful place, I shudder to think there were some that worked there for years.

One lad that worked there claimed to be an engineer, although when I asked where he'd trained or got his degree he claimed to be "self taught". He'd tell us all often how Mercedes, Audi, Rolls Royce etc. were sending him job offers but he couldn't make his mind up, when I asked how he'd got in contact with them he said "They've been following my work very closely for years".

Saw him again 6 months later and he was stoll working in the scam call centre, but "Lamborghini have been in touch". God knows what was going on inside his head.

Leg End Reject · 28-02-2020 8:04pm

Has anyone any insight to why people do this? In general life is mundane as an adult, with flashes of levity and breaks from reality. Why do some need to invent an exciting alter ego?

Ubbquittious · 28-02-2020 8:08pm

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Has anyone any insight to why people do this? In general life is mundane as an adult, with flashes of levity and breaks from reality. Why do some need to invent an exciting alter ego?

I presume it is less effort than actually sprucing up your own life and once they start Mittying people seem interested and give them more attention, then they get hooked the same way people get hooked on Facebook likes

Ush1 · 28-02-2020 9:04pm

the purple tin wrote: »

I worked with an absolute Walt years ago. He was middle-aged, short and you would not call him attractive by a long shot. But, according to him he was getting more women than Hugh Hefner.
Ludicrous stories about women just throwing themselves at him, like his life was a blue movie or something.

One I remember; he went to a party one night in a friend of a friends house, full of people having fun, he had a few drinks and then went out to the back garden for a smoke and some peace and quiet. He was sitting on a bench minding his own business when this absolute stunner of a woman comes out of the house, walks right over to him and without saying a word unzipped his trousers and proceeded to suck his cock! After she had finished she stood up, said 'thanks for that' and walked back into the house :rolleyes:

I told you that in confidence.

L1011 · 28-02-2020 9:13pm

Encountered one such who initially claimed *he* was an FF Councillor in Meath, which I was able to disprove as I actually knew the name of the only FF councillor in his area (happened to know someone who was mates with them; and it was nearby). Then claimed his dad was one. All this through general superiority complex crap.

Eventually found out his grandad had been and had lost his seat in like 1999 or 2004.

Christ, imagine thinking being an FF councillor was a boasting point.

sinjin_smythe · 28-02-2020 11:18pm

I know a lad who claims to have beaten deep blue at chess.

Mysterypunter · 28-02-2020 11:34pm

Bob Harris wrote: »

Kilbane's dad is from Achill Island.

Kilbane has loads of cousins from Achill, they are the Kilbane and McGinty family's, I know a few of them, lovely people. Very plausible, and many of them live or have lived in England. But they are regular visitors home for social occasions.

Widdershins · 29-02-2020 2:40am

I know 2 Walters.
1 told the most incredible lies. His false claims include: that he lost a leg in Afghanistan, owns an Aston Martin, is the descendant of an Irish chieftain and speaks fluent Irish.
Walter number 2 had delusions of all the lives he might live and all the women he might 'have'. He'd blurt his imaginings aloud, not quite directed at me but as if he wasn't fully aware of my presence, not long after I arrived after a 4 hour journey to stay with him (I was his victim, sorry, I mean girlfriend). Number 2 seemed proud of what he self described as his own Walter Mitty imagination. I suppose he saw the film and interpreted it as a benign, sweet quality (one which endears you to the ladies, of course).
He identified with (or as???) Louis XIV. Mainly for the hedonism. He implied he experienced the Oedipus complex.

My fiance seems very sane and logical, but I'm kind of just waiting for the nuttyness to show. My best friend says I like the odd ones, "us normal ones don't stand a chance". Unfortunately its true, Im subconsciously drawn to weirdos.

Capt'n Midnight · 29-02-2020 12:22pm

sinjin_smythe wrote: »

I know a lad who claims to have beaten deep blue at chess.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

- Emo Philips

Huawei Gallagher · 29-02-2020 1:38pm

Widdershins wrote: »

I know 2 Walters.
His false claims include: .... is the descendant of an Irish chieftain

Apparently 1 in 12 Irishmen are descendants of Niall of the Nine Hostages, and it rises to 1 in 5 in some parts of the northwest, so he may not be Bullsharting on that one.

I am descended from Noel of the Nine Sausages, whose coat of arms is a Breakfast Roll and a Defibrillator

Widdershins · 29-02-2020 1:42pm

Charles Cabbage wrote: »

Apparently 1 in 12 Irishmen are descendants of Niall of the Nine Hostages, and it rises to 1 in 5 in some parts of the northwest, so he may not be Bullsharting on that one.

I am descended from Noel of the Nine Sausages, whose coat of arms is a Breakfast Roll and a Defibrillator

Except he's not Irish and he chose Turlough O'Caroll. He also claimed to live in the ancestral castle.When he wasn't in his stately home.

HildaOgdenx · 29-02-2020 1:42pm

ManOfMystery wrote: »

I work with a Walter Mitty character. He's on an average wage but has tried to convince us he bought a supercar a while back (I'm talking a £150k car). Of course, no-one ever saw it because it's kept at his family's other home in a different country - the roads are better there apparently. Strangely, this seems to also have negated his ability to even take a photo of it.

He has also had some wonderful life experiences, including (but not limited to) direct contact and business meetings with A-list American celebs for a hobby/side venture he's involved in, being sought after by a very famous global corporation for a 6 figure contract, and more.

I sometimes don't know if he's actually the most convincing troll that ever lived, or genuinely believes his own BS.

That's a good question. I worked with someone who spun the most unbelievable stories. Not boasting, like some of the Walter Mitty stories already mentioned, but everything you could possibly think of, happened to her.

I think there was a grain of truth in some of the stories, but she exaggerated a lot.

DoozerT6 · 29-02-2020 7:52pm

I had the misfortune to know someone like this - they were my best friend at one stage, we were very close. It took me years to see through the lies upon lies because we got on so well otherwise.

They are the reason I now have no career.

Redneck Reject71 · 29-02-2020 8:01pm

I knew one.He would always embellish his military record and would talk about his endeavours during Desert Storm. Not knowing myself was deployed to Kuwait. He talked about being the best sniper and how many kills he achieved. And even said he beat Carlos Hathcock's record. Turns out he was a supply clerk in the motorcade division, no combat experience at all.

AlphabetCards · 29-02-2020 8:23pm

Woke Hogan wrote: »

I remember reading about a poster on this website who claimed to be an independently wealthy Libertarian stockbroker and Joycean scholar.

He also said he had a smoking hot teen bride from the Deep South in the US who used to babysit for him and who later bore him more children. All of this and he still found time to argue eighteen hours a day on Boards.ie about absolute twaddle.

I found this out after he left the website and dozens of people came out of the woodwork slagging him off, such was his renown as a ****e-talker non-pareil.

I have a theory: a lot of these posters are sock puppets used as sounding boards for authors and script writers to test out some of their characters, plot and dialogue before commiting them to paper.

Die Hard 2019 · 29-02-2020 8:28pm

AlphabetCards wrote: »

I have a theory: a lot of these posters are sock puppets used as sounding boards for authors and script writers to test out some of their characters, plot and dialogue before commiting them to paper.

I suppose it's nice to pretend to be someone else. Someone who doesn't live in his parents box room.

Mr Flicky · 29-02-2020 9:23pm

DoozerT6 wrote: »

I had the misfortune to know someone like this - they were my best friend at one stage, we were very close. It took me years to see through the lies upon lies because we got on so well otherwise.

They are the reason I now have no career.

Tell us more

Mam of 4 · 29-02-2020 10:45pm

Redneck Reject71 wrote: »

I knew one.He would always embellish his military record and would talk about his endeavours during Desert Storm. Not knowing myself was deployed to Kuwait. He talked about being the best sniper and how many kills he achieved. And even said he beat Carlos Hathcock's record. Turns out he was a supply clerk in the motorcade division, no combat experience at all.

That -he - sounds similar to what the Genesee River Killer , Arthur Shawcross , said he did in Vietnam , when in reality he never was in combat either , he was a clerk also .

the purple tin · 01-03-2020 8:53am

Mr Flicky wrote: »

Tell us more

Like does he have a car?

the purple tin · 01-03-2020 11:30am

Mam of 4 wrote: »

That -he - sounds similar to what the Genesee River Killer , Arthur Shawcross , said he did in Vietnam , when in reality he never was in combat either , he was a clerk also .

That's a good point Mam. Weren't a lot of those serial killers and rapists Walts according to their co-workers and people who knew them, fabricating their past to make themselves seem more normal or interesting.

EmmetSpiceland · 01-03-2020 11:52am

the purple tin wrote: »

That's a good point Mam. Weren't a lot of those serial killers and rapists Walts according to their co-workers and people who knew them, fabricating their past to make themselves seem more normal or interesting.

Brian Blackwell is a prime example of one. Once his delusions were called out he killed both his parents and took his girlfriend on a luxury holiday while they decomposed at home.

Mam of 4 · 01-03-2020 11:54am

the purple tin wrote: »

That's a good point Mam. Weren't a lot of those serial killers and rapists Walts according to their co-workers and people who knew them, fabricating their past to make themselves seem more normal or interesting.

Quite a few I think TPT .
It's fascinating and odd at the same time imo , why they would do so , knowing everything would be checked out by the police and proved to be lies .

the purple tin · 01-03-2020 1:32pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Brian Blackwell is a prime example of one. Once his delusions were called out he killed both his parents and took his girlfriend on a luxury holiday while they decomposed at home.

So the lesson is, never do anything to piss off a Walt?

Redneck Reject71 · 01-03-2020 7:00pm

Mam of 4 wrote: »

That -he - sounds similar to what the Genesee River Killer , Arthur Shawcross , said he did in Vietnam , when in reality he never was in combat either , he was a clerk also .

I googled him and that was a troubled man, but then I guess they all are to a degree. The one I knew, just wanted people to be in awe of him I guess. I hope he didn't go on to be serial killer, that would weird me out,heh.

Mam of 4 · 01-03-2020 8:36pm

Redneck Reject71 wrote: »

I googled him and that was a troubled man, but then I guess they all are to a degree. The one I knew, just wanted people to be in awe of him I guess. I hope he didn't go on to be serial killer, that would weird me out,heh.

I hope you didn't think I was implying that person you knew was a serial killer ? !
The similarities in their stories just made me think that a lot of people actually exaggerate and make up their achievements in life , that's all

01-03-2020 8:40pm

Bigbagofcans wrote: »

The wonders of Mr Von Bismarck.

He is satirical I think. Its obvious I think that he is doing it purely for comedy value.

Woke Hogan · 01-03-2020 8:41pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

He is satirical I think. Its obvious I think that he is doing it purely for comedy value.

I’ve seen that name pop up a few times, who or what is it?

Redneck Reject71 · 01-03-2020 8:42pm

Mam of 4 wrote: »

I hope you didn't think I was implying that person you knew was a serial killer ? !
The similarities in their stories just made me think that a lot of people actually exaggerate and make up their achievements in life , that's all

No but really you don't truly know someone IMO. Just now I'm wondering,heh.I might look him up just to know, because he was a bit out there. But in saying that,we did have members in our platoon who were overeager for a kill.

It was the most disturbing time of my life to hear my comrades so eager to take a life.

01-03-2020 8:44pm

Woke Hogan wrote: »

I’ve seen that name pop up a few times, who or what is it?

He is a person who posts full of his own self importance with a strong element of snobbery. He claims to be a stockbroker in Germany. I find his posts very funny and get a great kick out of others being outraged by him

corner of hells · 01-03-2020 8:56pm

Woke Hogan wrote: »

I’ve seen that name pop up a few times, who or what is it?

Are you not AVB ?

Woke Hogan · 01-03-2020 8:59pm

corner of hells wrote: »

Are you not AVB ?

Not me, I’ve only just become aware of him.

pinkyeye · 01-03-2020 9:12pm

I will admit, I've made up mad stories to strangers sometimes. Like for example on a flight when you're on your own and the person next to you thinks this is licence to ask you everything about your life I just make up a mad story for the laugh.

Get a kick out of it I have to be honest.

:D

Widdershins · 01-03-2020 9:22pm

If someone is being intrusive then its not so bad if you give them any old story. I suppose.I havent done it.

So...after reading about the mitty murderer Im a bit spooked. My Walter was quite vicious and abusive and I did sometimes think, he has built an image for his friends and of his image was tarnished....hmm.

Mam of 4 · 01-03-2020 10:30pm

Redneck Reject71 wrote: »

No but really you don't truly know someone IMO. Just now I'm wondering,heh.I might look him up just to know, because he was a bit out there. But in saying that,we did have members in our platoon who were overeager for a kill.

It was the most disturbing time of my life to hear my comrades so eager to take a life.

100% none of us might not really know the truth about anyone . We may have a persona in our daily lives that others see and believe is the true us , when the reality might be somewhat different .

It's very disturbing that anyone would be eager to take another's life , whether it's in combat or not .

HildaOgdenx · 01-03-2020 10:37pm

Deleted User wrote: »

He is a person who posts full of his own self importance with a strong element of snobbery. He claims to be a stockbroker in Germany. I find his posts very funny and get a great kick out of others being outraged by him

I don't think many people take his posts seriously, do they?
Personally, I find his posts quite funny.

I guess we could all have our own Walter Mitty stuff going on here on boards

The trick is not to get caught out.

Leg End Reject · 01-03-2020 10:48pm

HildaOgdenx wrote: »

I don't think many people take his posts seriously, do they?
Personally, I find his posts quite funny.

I guess we could all have our own Walter Mitty stuff going on here on boards
The trick is not to get caught out.

And rage quit if you get caught out.

HildaOgdenx · 01-03-2020 11:34pm

Leg End Reject wrote: »

And rage quit if you get caught out.

Exactly

EmmetSpiceland · 01-03-2020 11:44pm

Leg End Reject wrote: »

And rage quit if you get caught out.

But won’t a mod “remove” the posts catching you out?

Leg End Reject · 01-03-2020 11:48pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

But won’t a mod “remove” the posts catching you out?

That's "yet" to be established, Emmet, no matter how many times we politely enquire.

EmmetSpiceland · 01-03-2020 11:55pm

Leg End Reject wrote: »

That's "yet" to be established, Emmet, no matter how many times we politely enquire.

Very strange.

Leg End Reject · 01-03-2020 11:58pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Very strange.

The irony is we'd have forgotten about it by now of we knew.

robbiezero · 02-03-2020 12:02am

HildaOgdenx wrote: »

I don't think many people take his posts seriously, do they?
Personally, I find his posts quite funny.

I guess we could all have our own Walter Mitty stuff going on here on boards
The trick is not to get caught out.

Some of his stuff can obvious enough, but some is quite subtle.
His first one (I think) about his old class mate who worked in a garage was superb and nailed loads of people.
Like yourself I do enjoy his posts.

anewme · 02-03-2020 12:08am

robbiezero wrote: »

Some of his stuff can obvious enough, but some is quite subtle.
His first one (I think) about his old class mate who worked in a garage was superb and nailed loads of people.
Like yourself I do enjoy his posts.

I find death would be a release from that person when I come across them. Tumbleweed blows through.

The other one ( Alan Partridge type) is better and caught me.

02-03-2020 9:49am

anewme wrote: »

I find death would be a release from that person when I come across them. Tumbleweed blows through.

The other one ( Alan Partridge type) is better and caught me.

You'd rather die than read their posts?

anewme · 02-03-2020 10:56am

[Deleted User] wrote: »

You'd rather die than read their posts?

Not literally of course!

I just dont get it.

Woke Hogan · 02-03-2020 11:48am

anewme wrote: »

I find death would be a release from that person when I come across them. Tumbleweed blows through.

The other one ( Alan Partridge type) is better and caught me.

Which other one?

Duffy the Vampire Slayer · 02-03-2020 12:06pm

Mam of 4 wrote: »

That -he - sounds similar to what the Genesee River Killer , Arthur Shawcross , said he did in Vietnam , when in reality he never was in combat either , he was a clerk also .

Funny you should mention that. There was a mass shooting in a Bogota restaurant (I used to live very near to it) in 1985 by a man who had often claimed to have been a Vietnam veteran. He actually couldn't have served in Vietnam, as he joined the US army too late.

anewme · 02-03-2020 1:00pm

Woke Hogan wrote: »

Which other one?

The one with the lad who gets a lot of action.

He wrote one about being the best chef, better than a restaurant etc and the quality of his food and how people never tasted anything like it in their lives. I don't want to ruin the surprise for anyone else.

RWCNT · 02-03-2020 1:15pm

anewme wrote: »

The one with the lad who gets a lot of action. He wrote one about being the best chef, better than a restaurant etc and the quality of his food and how people never tasted anything like it in their lives. I don't want to ruin the surprise for anyone else.

Im not convinced that poster is a wind up tbh, been around a long time and a lot of their posts are pretty standard.

Lollipops23 · 02-03-2020 1:24pm

We had one in my office as a temp a while back; she was always telling us about previous jobs that she'd done really well at, earning massive sums etc.

Except she'd dropped out of college and had been temping for the best part of a decade (nothing wrong with that at all, just not conducive to a high flying career and huge salary). She left us when she apparently was offered a role for 3 times her salary with us- she went as far as saying she only put herself forward for twice her salary with us but during the interview they decided she was worth far more.

Claims they pulled the job offer at the last min, but left us nonetheless. Still not sure what she ended up doing tbh.

Walter Mitty thread

Comments