How much for a wedding gift?

El_robbo1980 · 26-10-2020 5:44pm #1

Hi all,

What’s the expected amount for a cash-gift for a wedding these days? Think the last wedding I was at (pre-covid) for a friend we gave €250 as a couple. But attending one soon solo and with a huge chunk of the country on reduced wages/unemployed im just wondering what’s a good amount to give?

Thanks

Pinoy adventure · 26-10-2020 5:46pm

With reduced numbers going too the wedding your gift should be higher.€500 -€1000 would be reasonable

LilacNails · 26-10-2020 5:49pm

Pinoy adventure wrote: »

With reduced numbers going too the wedding your gift should be higher.€500 -€1000 would be reasonable

Go away outta that.... 200 is plenty imo

Tzardine · 26-10-2020 5:53pm

Just give what you can afford. Dont give anything that is going to put you in financial difficulty.

El_robbo1980 · 26-10-2020 5:55pm

Pinoy adventure wrote: »

With reduced numbers going too the wedding your gift should be higher.€500 -€1000 would be reasonable

I can only assume you’re joking

Alex86Eire · 26-10-2020 6:25pm

I would have thought €100 if you're going solo would be absolutely perfect.

woodchuck · 26-10-2020 6:43pm

If your own circumstances haven't changed, then neither should the amount you give as a gift. When flying solo, 100euro would be around the norm.

micks_address · 26-10-2020 6:44pm

People used to say 50 euro to cover the meal and then another 50 on top...

TP_CM · 26-10-2020 6:46pm

I thought the rule was 100 solo and 150 for a couple. But it has been 2 years now or so since i have been to a wedding. Maybe it has gone up.

Spanish Eyes · 26-10-2020 6:51pm

Sorry now, but many wedding couples must be feeling a bit sick now. What with reduced numbers, multiple postponements and so on it is tough on them. And they can't look forward either as no one knows what's happening or going to happen either going forward.

100e is grand IMV as a solo anyway, if you get there that is!

Jimson · 26-10-2020 6:52pm

Depends really, if its a relative i barely see id probably just stick 70 in the card.

Someone I'm Pals with and might get to see once a year probably 100.

Close friend i see weekly probably 150-200.

Spanish Eyes · 26-10-2020 6:58pm

We are typically wedding averse. As are a lot of people even if they don't admit it.

So apart from immediate family (and those gifts are a secret lol). We normally politely decline and give a gift of 100e each so 200 in total even though we won't be attending.

It is far better value than having to attend a wedding of those you only know on the edges. Very kind of them to invite us, but since we decline, they can add two more to their list!

But maybe not now of course. Feel for all of you trying to organise your day. Chin up and hope for the best.

Pinoy adventure · 26-10-2020 7:01pm

El_robbo1980 wrote: »

I can only assume you’re joking

For sum body having there special day which might cost them thousands you think they would be impressed getting €100/200 ?
It may not even cover there meal for a couple.

Think more along the lines of new cars/honeymoon or perhaps the wedding parties new home or deposit for there new home rather than a hundred euro

El_robbo1980 · 26-10-2020 7:14pm

Pinoy adventure wrote: »

Think more along the lines of new cars/honeymoon or perhaps the wedding parties new home or deposit for there new home rather than a hundred euro

I was thinking more along the lines of people attending weddings that may be on vastly reduced wages/PUP etc for the last 6 months and are struggling to pay for their own cars and houses. Hence my original question of what’s deemed a sensible balance between the current climate and a generous gift. The general consensus of €100 (solo) seems to be about average (unless of course someone is absolutely rolling in it and feeling generous!)

eviltwin · 26-10-2020 7:16pm

Pinoy adventure wrote: »

For sum body having there special day which might cost them thousands you think they would be impressed getting €100/200 ?
It may not even cover there meal for a couple.

Think more along the lines of new cars/honeymoon or perhaps the wedding parties new home or deposit for there new home rather than a hundred euro

It’s not the responsibility of the guests to pay for that. Tbh in current conditions the couple are lucky to have anyone going. They should be thankful for what they get. 100pp is perfectly fine.

screamer · 26-10-2020 7:22pm

At the moment with the reduction in numbers attending, the cost of the meals will be substantially reduced. Anyone who ever got married will tell you the largest part of the bill is food and drink for a wedding day. 100 per head is about normal, for closer family, I’d go to 150 per person, siblings would get 500 to 1000 from us. That’s just our rules of thumb.

Pinoy adventure · 26-10-2020 7:31pm

El_robbo1980 wrote: »

I was thinking more along the lines of people attending weddings that may be on vastly reduced wages/PUP etc for the last 6 months and are struggling to pay for their own cars and houses. Hence my original question of what’s deemed a sensible balance between the current climate and a generous gift. The general consensus of €100 (solo) seems to be about average (unless of course someone is absolutely rolling in it and feeling generous!)

Could you not ask them if the have a wedding list and perhaps buy something from that ?
Instead of putting the price of a few drinks in a card.

zoe 3619 · 26-10-2020 7:34pm

Pinoy adventure wrote: »

With reduced numbers going too the wedding your gift should be higher.€500 -€1000 would be reasonable

Bizarre comment.
That would be 2 weeks to a months income for me at the moment.
I'd see no reason to contribute to their honeymoon or to pay for wedding cars,flowers or the cake if they have chosen to go outside of their budget.
I'd give 50 to cover the meal (skint at the moment) and a thoughtful,but not expensive gift.
Haven't done too many weddings and it seems there is a cash etiquette that I don't understand.

lawrencesummers · 26-10-2020 7:35pm

Personally I would try and figure out what it’s costing the couple to have each guest there and make sure I’m at least covering that and then a bit more.

If it’s a cheap hotel 3 course meal no band no drink reception then it might be costing 50-70 per person.
If you get a free bar and a nice hotel Decent meal it could be costing the couple over 100 a head for the day.

Smee_Again · 26-10-2020 7:37pm

TP_CM wrote: »

I thought the rule was 100 solo and 150 for a couple. But it has been 2 years now or so since i have been to a wedding. Maybe it has gone up.

This was my rule but it seems to have increased since I was last at a wedding that wasn’t a sibling/very close friend.

XxMCRxBabyxX · 26-10-2020 9:33pm

screamer wrote: »

At the moment with the reduction in numbers attending, the cost of the meals will be substantially reduced.

This isn't necessarily true at the moment. It seems that a number of venues are still charging for minimum numbers etc even though it's not possible to have those numbers.

1hnr79jr65 · 26-10-2020 9:44pm

How me and wife follow it in terms of gifts

someone we barely know, politely turn down attendance but gift €50 in card
people we know/extended family €100 in card, maybe attend depending on circumstances
close friends/family €250-500 depending how close we are plus definitely attend wedding

However with covid we would gift the above as same without any attendance due to personal health.

lazygal · 27-10-2020 1:12pm

Sour Lemonz wrote: »

How me and wife follow it in terms of gifts

someone we barely know, politely turn down attendance but gift €50 in card
people we know/extended family €100 in card, maybe attend depending on circumstances
close friends/family €250-500 depending how close we are plus definitely attend wedding

However with covid we would gift the above as same without any attendance due to personal health.

Similar here. We give the gift for the celebration of the wedding, not to cover the cost of the party. Why would you give someone more because they had a more expensive wedding?!
And right now with Covid we'd do the same, despite the fact that we would not attend even the weddings of very close family/friends due to numbers etc.

lawrencesummers · 27-10-2020 1:28pm

lazygal wrote: »

Similar here. We give the gift for the celebration of the wedding, not to cover the cost of the party. Why would you give someone more because they had a more expensive wedding?!
And right now with Covid we'd do the same, despite the fact that we would not attend even the weddings of very close family/friends due to numbers etc.

Because I don’t think at a minimum that they should be out of pocket for my attendance, but that’s within reason, I have been to a friends wedding that I know cost close to 150k and with 120 guests that’s over 1250 per head and he sure didn’t get that from me.

ax530 · 27-10-2020 1:33pm

I know someone locally who got married recently, wouldnt have been expecting an invite to wedding if was 'normal' times. She would have loved the big full weddign but with restrictions had to keep it very small. Sent them a card with €50
If attending a wedding as a couple we usually give 200e maybe at times 150 if cash was tighter.

lazygal · 27-10-2020 4:42pm

lawrencesummers wrote: »

Because I don’t think at a minimum that they should be out of pocket for my attendance, but that’s within reason, I have been to a friends wedding that I know cost close to 150k and with 120 guests that’s over 1250 per head and he sure didn’t get that from me.

But its their choice to have a wedding. That's their business.

I don't expect anyone who comes to any celebration we organise to pay their own way.

GingerLily · 27-10-2020 4:58pm

lawrencesummers wrote: »

Personally I would try and figure out what it’s costing the couple to have each guest there and make sure I’m at least covering that and then a bit more.

If it’s a cheap hotel 3 course meal no band no drink reception then it might be costing 50-70 per person.
If you get a free bar and a nice hotel Decent meal it could be costing the couple over 100 a head for the day.

I never do this, most of the couples that I know who have a cheaper wedding have paid for it all themselves, stretched themselves financially and need the gift, where as the fancy weddings are paid for my the parents or they're very well off.
It's fairer to just give a gift based on your relationship with the bride and groom IMO.

1hnr79jr65 · 27-10-2020 5:11pm

lazygal wrote: »

But its their choice to have a wedding. That's their business.

I don't expect anyone who comes to any celebration we organise to pay their own way.

100% agree with this, for our wedding most had to travel and pay for hotels for the night, some did 2 nights. I got some deals from hotels in area for our guests to make the costs easier on all. Our wedding itself wasn't overly expensive, I made every euro count so there was little to no waste, all in we had amazing day for how little we spent.

But no way expected our guests to have to fork out for our day, all the gifts we did get we were very grateful for.

rainbowtrout · 28-10-2020 9:00pm

lawrencesummers wrote: »

Because I don’t think at a minimum that they should be out of pocket for my attendance, but that’s within reason, I have been to a friends wedding that I know cost close to 150k and with 120 guests that’s over 1250 per head and he sure didn’t get that from me.

But if one of my friends decides to have their wedding in the local 3 star hotel and another friend decides to drive 60 miles down the country to have it in a 5 star hotel with all the bells and whistles, I don't see how I should have to pay more as a gift for the second wedding?

My brother is getting married next year and is spending beyond his means on it. I don't see why his guests should have to foot that bill.

Pinoy adventure · 28-10-2020 10:26pm

rainbowtrout wrote: »

But if one of my friends decides to have their wedding in the local 3 star hotel and another friend decides to drive 60 miles down the country to have it in a 5 star hotel with all the bells and whistles, I don't see how I should have to pay more as a gift for the second wedding?

My brother is getting married next year and is spending beyond his means on it. I don't see why his guests should have to foot that bill.

You could help him,by giving a nice cash gift.

rainbowtrout · 28-10-2020 10:34pm

Pinoy adventure wrote: »

You could help him,by giving a nice cash gift.

Not my job to fund a lifestyle he can't afford.

Pinoy adventure · 29-10-2020 8:57am

rainbowtrout wrote: »

Not my job to fund a lifestyle he can't afford.

Has he invited you too his wedding ?

zerosugarbuzz · 29-10-2020 9:00am

TP_CM wrote: »

I thought the rule was 100 solo and 150 for a couple. But it has been 2 years now or so since i have been to a wedding. Maybe it has gone up.

I would say €100 per person, why should there be a single supplement?

theteal · 29-10-2020 9:04am

Pinoy adventure wrote: »

With reduced numbers going too the wedding your gift should be higher.€500 -€1000 would be reasonable

I assumed this was a joke. Subsequent posts have led me to doubt this

wally1990 · 29-10-2020 9:08am

I was supposed to be going to a wedding today actually but over the Covid it's only 25, she was a friend since primary school and now we are 30yo

Poor friend up in a heap all year, 2 reschedules and then hotel cancelled a week before and another hotel stood in last minute last year, amazing

It's an absolute mess for weddings at the moment

I'm still popping to the church nearby to say hi and giving a card and 100e even though I'm not going , off I go again

If I was going i would give 200 or 250, but that's me

BUT GIVE WHAT YOU CAN AFFORD !!!

It isn't a competition

When I got married , many gave me nothing , some gave 50/100/200/500

I thought of nobody any less

I chose to get married and I chose to invite them to MY wedding at an Expense to them so I was grateful they came and any gift was a bonus

So whatever you can afford

There is a reason people hate weddings and costs is one of them and in Covid , it's only worse expecting X sum from people , so don't be under pressure and any bride or groom who think any less of you over a few measly euro isn't a real friend

witchgirl26 · 29-10-2020 10:23am

Ok the notion of giving more to fund the wedding really annoys me. I'm getting married next year (hopefully!) and our budget is what we can afford to spend on the wedding without taking into account any money from guests. It's not a gig or a show - it's a wedding! It's a party we're inviting people to. You wouldn't have a housewarming & charge at the door to help fund the cost of the house, would you?! I honestly don't care what people give us as presents, as long as the ones I love are there, I'll be thrilled.

In terms of gifts we kinda follow the below:
Close friend/family member - small gift & €250.
Friend - €200
Only 1 of us going - between €100 & €150 depending on the relationship.

eviltwin · 29-10-2020 10:30am

When we got married we specifically asked for no gifts. Everyone had come from abroad and had gifted us just by being there. I could have made a nice little payday for myself judging by this thread! The greed around weddings sickens me. Even the standard 200 per couple might be impossible for people at the moment. Is it any wonder so many people hate weddings with this kind of carry on.

UnBridled · 29-10-2020 9:10pm

eviltwin wrote: »

When we got married we specifically asked for no gifts. Everyone had come from abroad and had gifted us just by being there. I could have made a nice little payday for myself judging by this thread! The greed around weddings sickens me. Even the standard 200 per couple might be impossible for people at the moment. Is it any wonder so many people hate weddings with this kind of carry on.

We feel the same. We have budgeted for the wedding we can afford so the idea of hoping to get the costs back through money gifts is just bonkers. We don't care what people give or don't give. What would mean the most is those we invite showing up and enjoying themselves.

It's been years since I was last at a wedding. It was a girl I used to be very close to. I gave €100 and also a little present just for her. Nobody should feel under pressure to give x sum of money or a fancy gift.

Pinoy adventure · 29-10-2020 9:58pm

It looks like gone are the days of the Celtic tiger weddings with Penny Pinchers these days

eviltwin · 29-10-2020 10:02pm

Pinoy adventure wrote: »

It looks like gone are the days of the Celtic tiger weddings with Penny Pinchers these days

That’s probably not a bad thing. It doesn’t bode well if you are relying on your guests to pay for your wedding

Pinoy adventure · 29-10-2020 10:06pm

eviltwin wrote: »

That’s probably not a bad thing. It doesn’t bode well if you are relying on your guests to pay for your wedding

I'm talking about the gifts they receive and weddings well into six figure sums which would be paid by those getting married.
In a lot of cases the parents of children pay for the entire wedding for there children,which is a nice gift in it's self

GingerLily · 29-10-2020 10:46pm

I know of a couple getting married in the new year that have complained about getting less gifts now due to the reduced numbers with the restrictions.
Some people's priorities!

witchgirl26 · 30-10-2020 11:43am

Pinoy adventure wrote: »

It looks like gone are the days of the Celtic tiger weddings with Penny Pinchers these days

I wouldn't call it penny pinchers. It went a bit mad here. I have quite a number of friends in the UK & when talking about cash gifts at weddings here, they were amazed at the amounts that most people gave. Like properly stunned. And at the moment with so many people out of work either temporarily or potentially permanently, I think giving a massive gift at a wedding is well down the list of priorities and rightly so.

eviltwin wrote: »

That’s probably not a bad thing. It doesn’t bode well if you are relying on your guests to pay for your wedding

Yeah if you can't afford the big wedding you want, don't be relying on your guests to pay for it.

Pinoy adventure wrote: »

I'm talking about the gifts they receive and weddings well into six figure sums which would be paid by those getting married.
In a lot of cases the parents of children pay for the entire wedding for there children,which is a nice gift in it's self

I don't know anyone in my acquaintance who had their wedding paid for by mammy & daddy. Most people I know maybe got some money towards it as a gesture but I think the days of parents paying for weddings is well gone.
I don't know anyone who has had a 6-figure sum wedding. In fact I only know 1 couple whose wedding hit the €30k mark & all of us thought it was a bit much.

rainbowtrout · 30-10-2020 12:11pm

Pinoy adventure wrote: »

It looks like gone are the days of the Celtic tiger weddings with Penny Pinchers these days

Pinoy adventure wrote: »

I'm talking about the gifts they receive and weddings well into six figure sums which would be paid by those getting married.
In a lot of cases the parents of children pay for the entire wedding for there children,which is a nice gift in it's self

Poor effort at trolling. 2/10.

lawrencesummers · 30-10-2020 4:24pm

lazygal wrote: »

But its their choice to have a wedding. That's their business.

I don't expect anyone who comes to any celebration we organise to pay their own way.

Within reason.
I’ve been to weddings with free bars, decent bands great food. It’s costing the bride and groom a bit more so I don’t mind putting in. Maybe 250 for two of us. Il drink the difference at the free bar anyway!

A run of the mill day In a 3 star hotel with beef or salmon might be 150.

When someone goes to the registry office and has cocktail sausages in the local pub afterwards I’m not putting in the same amount, maybe 100.

witchgirl26 · 30-10-2020 4:46pm

lawrencesummers wrote: »

Within reason.
I’ve been to weddings with free bars, decent bands great food. It’s costing the bride and groom a bit more so I don’t mind putting in. Maybe 250 for two of us. Il drink the difference at the free bar anyway!

A run of the mill day In a 3 star hotel with beef or salmon might be 150.

When someone goes to the registry office and has cocktail sausages in the local pub afterwards I’m not putting in the same amount, maybe 100.

So you base their gift on the type of wedding they have as opposed to your relationship with them?

blingrhino · 30-10-2020 4:51pm

if your had been invited and cant go ( covid restictions) should you still pony up ?

Pinoy adventure · 30-10-2020 5:41pm

blingrhino wrote: »

if your had been invited and cant go ( covid restictions) should you still pony up ?

100% yes

Smee_Again · 30-10-2020 5:53pm

Pinoy adventure wrote: »

100% yes

What’s your address? I’m getting married next year and I’ve a few invites left over, you’re more than welcome to come.

tiredblondie · 30-10-2020 5:54pm

So i got married last year and leaving immediate family aside (i.e. parents and siblings), our gifts ranged from nothing to 500euro
Those that came alone put 50euro in a card, most couples gave 150euro and some extended family gave 500euro
To be honest, it was way more than i would have ever expected - i was delighted obviously as it covered nearly all of our cost but i would never think someone was a miserable git for not putting the "correct" amount of money in a card!
What did annoy me though, was the 2 that didn't even give a card - that was just feckin odd!! An empty card is better than nothing even just to acknowledge it!

Oh and those who were invited but didn't / couldn't go, none of them sent any cards or anything and i wouldn't have expected them to either!

Pinoy adventure · 30-10-2020 7:30pm

Smee_Again wrote: »

What’s your address? I’m getting married next year and I’ve a few invites left over, you’re more than welcome to come.

Have you or your wedding planner made you wedding list yet ? If so stick it in with the RSVP card so I can get you 1 item off your list as I like too plan ahead.

Oh and how would 14 nights AI sound in either the Maldives or the Bahamas,flying first class of course ?

How much for a wedding gift?

Comments