What would you like as a gift if not cash?

_Whimsical_ · 30-07-2020 11:32am #1

Yes I'm looking desperately for suggestions but wouldn't it serve all of us, including those of you getting gifts, to give ideas to the rest of us on what you might like?
Has anyone got anything they really liked lately?

kapisko1PL · 30-07-2020 11:37am

_Whimsical_ wrote: »

Yes I'm looking desperately for suggestions but wouldn't it serve all of us, including those of you getting gifts, to give ideas to the rest of us on what you might like?
Has anyone got anything they really liked lately?

Got about 20 lines in Euromilions. Although why wouldn't you give cash?

Loveinapril · 30-07-2020 12:05pm

We love wine so that would be a good gift for us! We got 12 nice wine glasses that we very much appreciated but I know other people get inundated with glasses (and picture frames and candle holders and personal things with the date on it) so it won't suit everyone. We planned and booked our honeymoon after the wedding and used most of our cash gifts paying for that. We appreciated it so much!

lazygal · 30-07-2020 1:40pm

Friends who couldn't attend our wedding sent two cases of wine which we loved. We're into wine anyway though.
I liked the traditional gifts like a good table cloth and matching napkins. Also got a slow cooker which I was a bit baffled by but which I use all the time nearly ten years on.

fineso.mom · 30-07-2020 1:52pm

My sister has some crueset cooking pots that are over twenty years old that were a wedding gift. Still perfect and she uses them pretty much every day.
I bought a friend some really nice flower pots, the big glazed pottery ones as she and her husband had just built a house and the garden was last on the list of stuff to do. I potted them up with some plants before giving them and she was delighted.
I know someone who bought her friend a voucher for her wedding dress to be cleaned and stored after the wedding.
I generally give money unless I know the couple well, and always do if they have already lived together and have the house etc sorted.

Atlantic Dawn · 30-07-2020 1:56pm

Alcohol of any kind I like.

hollypink · 30-07-2020 2:02pm

I love high thread count cotton bedsheets/duvet covers/pillow cases etc. We got some as a wedding present, from John Lewis I think. Foxford Woollen Mills have beautiful sets, not cheap, but they feel so luxurious.

ShaShaBear · 30-07-2020 2:05pm

Our favourite gift was a plate with a cartoon drawing of us cutting our cake on it along with our wedding date and names framed in a shadow box. It has pride of place hanging in our kitchen and ironically wasn't gifted by someone we'd be as close to as many others at the wedding. I couldn't tell you who exactly gave me money on our wedding day, or how much - but I can tell you who gave gifts and what they were - people put way more effort into them, I think!

lazygal · 30-07-2020 2:26pm

hollypink wrote: »

I love high thread count cotton bedsheets/duvet covers/pillow cases etc. We got some as a wedding present, from John Lewis I think. Foxford Woollen Mills have beautiful sets, not cheap, but they feel so luxurious.

I love this. Just make sure you know the bed size. We got beautiful sets of sheets, but they're for a double bed and we have a king size.

Black_Knight · 30-07-2020 2:29pm

A cheque

Black_Knight · 30-07-2020 2:35pm

On a more serious note.
We got a lovely framed painting. Not something we would of bought ourselves (because of the cost, not the look), and we love it.
Got a high quality pots and pans set too. Not your typical gift, but we use them every day, and they're very nice.
Got a voucher for a night in a fancy hotel. Similar to the painting, it probably would have been too expensive a hotel for us to consider, and therefore was a real treat.

Uncle Pierre · 30-07-2020 2:52pm

Just over ten years since our own wedding. We got what I suppose would be the usual mix of cash and gifts.

Like somebody said above, some of the gifts were great and have pride of place in our house. Maybe the best is a clock made from bog oak, that hangs in our sunroom. And again, it wasn't from a relative or a close friend - instead, it came from a neighbour of the place where I grew up, who I'd hardly have seen in the ten years before the wedding, and who I haven't seen very often since then either.

There's also a pair of crystal candlesticks on the mantlepiece in the sitting room, which came from a work colleague and which my wife really likes (even though I'm not too pushed about them myself!).

So yes, if you happen to strike it lucky by picking a gift that one or both of the couple really like, it's probably more fondly remembered in the long run that a few quid inside a card would be.

Having said that, there's a box in the attic full of other gifts that we've hardly looked at since then (photo frames, other candlesticks, and the like), and a bottom press in our utility room which has wedding gifts such as sets of glasses and cutlery shoved in at the back, and seldom if ever used. It might sound mercenary, but cash would have been a better gift than any of those.

As somebody else also said, I can't remember who exactly gave cash or exactly how much they gave, but I do know it was all put to good use. And based on our experience, we always give cash ourselves.

stargazer 68 · 30-07-2020 3:44pm

We got a voucher for an art gallery in Wexford. I had liked and commented on a lot of their FB posts so someone bought us a voucher. We hung onto it for almost a year waiting for a picture I liked and it is now on our living room wall and I absolutely love it!

woodchuck · 30-07-2020 3:50pm

I think gifts are only advisable if you know the couple very well and what they'd actually like.

Personally I'd love a slow cooker! But we're about to move into a house and just never had room for one in the apartment we're renting. So household appliances can be very hit and miss depending on how settled the couple are.

I'd also love artwork for the walls. But artwork is so personal that I'd only recommend it if you're aware of a particular artist that the couple like (and ideally a particularly painting they've raved about and said it would look great on a particular wall in their home!).

If you're not sure though, cash really is king! Some people go with vouchers, but personally I'm not a big fan as there are so many T&Cs and they can be accidentally forgotten about and just left to expire.

lazygal · 30-07-2020 4:16pm

I don't go the voucher route because every time we got and used one for a restaurant or hotel we ended up spending more (which I guess is one of the reasons places push them....) which might put some people in a bind. And then businesses go out of business-we got a substantial voucher for one business that closed six months after our wedding. Complete waste of money on the part of the giver.

buttercups88 · 30-07-2020 4:19pm

We got married few years ago and one of my favourite gifts was a framed black and white photo of our venue. We have it hanging in the hallway as a reminder of the day.

Another very thoughtful one was a painting by a local artist which had each of our traditional name flowers intertwined. Then when babies came along we brought the painting back to her and she added their flowers

Uncle Pierre · 30-07-2020 4:26pm

buttercups88 wrote: »

We got married few years ago and one of my favourite gifts was a framed black and white photo of our venue.

A nice idea if the venue is some sort of special location where you wouldn't normally be.

Wouldn't work in a case like ours though, where the venue was the local church, which we'd associate more with going to funerals than remembering a one-off day more than a decade ago....

Caranica · 30-07-2020 4:30pm

Favourites we got - Trailfinders vouchers (paid for an amazing holiday the following year), a case of lovely wine and vouchers for his and hers massages.

Things I hated - Newbridge everything...we got SO much!! Also crystal glasses as we had no storage space for them. Still in boxes many many years later.

woodchuck · 30-07-2020 4:50pm

Caranica wrote: »

Favourites we got - Trailfinders vouchers (paid for an amazing holiday the following year)

This wouldn't be a good present during a pandemic though

Loveinapril · 30-07-2020 7:38pm

[Quote
Things I hated - Newbridge everything...we got SO much!! Also crystal glasses as we had no storage space for them. Still in boxes many many years later.[/quote]

I donated a few of these sorts of things to local a charity and family resource centre for their fundraising raffles. At least it meant the stuff got used.

eviltwin · 30-07-2020 8:23pm

Best gift I got was a scrapebook of photos of us through the years with quotes and memories from family and friends. A few of those people are no longer here and I cherish it more than anything.

JayRoc · 30-07-2020 11:51pm

woodchuck wrote: »

I think gifts are only advisable if you know the couple very well and what they'd actually like.

Personally I'd love a slow cooker! But we're about to move into a house and just never had room for one in the apartment we're renting. So household appliances can be very hit and miss depending on how settled the couple are.

I'd also love artwork for the walls. But artwork is so personal that I'd only recommend it if you're aware of a particular artist that the couple like (and ideally a particularly painting they've raved about and said it would look great on a particular wall in their home!).

If you're not sure though, cash really is king! Some people go with vouchers, but personally I'm not a big fan as there are so many T&Cs and they can be accidentally forgotten about and just left to expire.

I cannot imagine ever presuming to buy art for another person

cocopops · 30-07-2020 11:57pm

We got a beautiful, luxury picnic basket as an engagement gift and I absolutely love it!

_Whimsical_ · 31-07-2020 2:43am

Great ideas, they're really interesting to hear. It's touching that people actually remember the gifts they got and good to know the things that make an impression. Bring on more ideas!

My friend is marrying soon and plans for the wedding have been curtailed down from 170 to 20 people due to Covid so it will be a relatively inexpensive day for the couple. I feel like they don't need cash in the same way now and as I can't be with her I want to mark the day for her with something special they'll remember.

woodchuck · 31-07-2020 9:12am

JayRoc wrote: »

I cannot imagine ever presuming to buy art for another person

You'd be surprised. My friends and I always do a group presents for birthdays. One person suggested a specific print of a piece of art and everyone jumped on the band wagon to say it was a great idea. I knew with absolute certainty that it wasn't her taste at all though and would be a horrible mistake. So after an awkward conversation, I managed to talk them out of it. They were literally all set to order it though!

That's why you'd want to be really confident that they love the artist or piece of work. Maybe a voucher for a gallery that sells work of their favourite artist would be safer. But again, it's only a good present for an art lover.

Hoboo · 31-07-2020 9:16am

hollypink wrote: »

I love high thread count cotton bedsheets/duvet covers/pillow cases etc. We got some as a wedding present, from John Lewis I think. Foxford Woollen Mills have beautiful sets, not cheap, but they feel so luxurious.

And what did they get the groom? Thats the equivalent of buying the couple a pair of golf shoes. In a size 11.

Sheep Shagger · 31-07-2020 9:18am

We had an apartment so had all the usual house stuff, opened a wedding account with Trailfinders which is essentially cash but people don't have to put into an envelope- its all done online.

Covered an upgrade for our honeymoon and then an holiday about 10 months afterwards.

Still got a few cheques but also meant no dealing with boxy gifts on the day (just cards).

A couple of people didn't give anything, to this day we don't know if they were cheap or tbe card with cash in it got lost/stolen/etc in the hotel.

Faith · 31-07-2020 9:25am

Hoboo wrote: »

And what did they get the groom? Thats the equivalent of buying the couple a pair of golf shoes. In a size 11.

Do you think the husband sleeps in a different bed?

pwurple · 31-07-2020 9:41am

Faith wrote: »

Do you think the husband sleeps in a different bed?

Or he doesn't sleep at all? Or maybe in a kennel outside?

We can't judge other people's lifestyle choices.

PhilOssophy · 31-07-2020 9:44am

I don't really think you should buy me a present, I don't even know you that well after all.

Teach30 · 31-07-2020 5:29pm

Most things mentioned here I would hate to receive so gifts are v personal. I got engagement presents that were dire, awful crystal glasses that I wouldn’t even regift, napkin holders, photo frames, pastry forks - things I’ll never use as they aren’t my style.

Would love if wedding gift registers came back into fashion here. It was great when couples could put together a list in Arnotts or BTs of what they would like to receive for their wedding. There’s a lot to be said for it as at least the items would be used.

Sheep Shagger · 31-07-2020 5:58pm

Teach30 wrote: »

Most things mentioned here I would hate to receive so gifts are v personal. I got engagement presents that were dire, awful crystal glasses that I wouldn’t even regift, napkin holders, photo frames, pastry forks - things I’ll never use as they aren’t my style.

Would love if wedding gift registers came back into fashion here. It was great when couples could put together a list in Arnotts or BTs of what they would like to receive for their wedding. There’s a lot to be said for it as at least the items would be used.

Why do they have to come back into fashion, Arnotts still do them as do sister company BT...

https://www.arnotts.ie/login/?original=%2Fon%2Fdemandware.store%2FSites-arnotts-global-Site%2Fen_IE%2FGiftRegistry-Start&scope=giftregistry

Teach30 · 31-07-2020 6:44pm

Sheep Shagger wrote: »

Why do they have to come back into fashion, Arnotts still do them as do sister company BT...

https://www.arnotts.ie/login/?original=%2Fon%2Fdemandware.store%2FSites-arnotts-global-Site%2Fen_IE%2FGiftRegistry-Start&scope=giftregistry

I know they do them but they’re not as popular nowadays as I suppose most people live together and have items for their home already. Also prices can be out of reach for some couples and it can put people under pressure to use it.

I could imagine the comments I would get if I set one up. No point looking for people to talk about you if that makes sense.

Sheep Shagger · 31-07-2020 7:55pm

Teach30 wrote: »

I know they do them but they’re not as popular nowadays as I suppose most people live together and have items for their home already. Also prices can be out of reach for some couples and it can put people under pressure to use it.

I could imagine the comments I would get if I set one up. No point looking for people to talk about you if that makes sense.

Personally couldn't care less what people think, as I said, we set up a Trailfinders account as we both like travel. Most people would be happy you are getting something you want instead of clutter you don't.

pwurple · 31-07-2020 10:02pm

You don't send it out in the invite.... ! The only people who know, ask.

You register, cover all ranges from 20 quid "daily wine glasses" up to something more expensive.

And when/if you're asked if there's anything you like, you tell them you are registered somewhere. Easy and non offensive.

Teach30 · 31-07-2020 10:47pm

pwurple wrote: »

You don't send it out in the invite.... ! The only people who know, ask.

You register, cover all ranges from 20 quid "daily wine glasses" up to something more expensive.

And when/if you're asked if there's anything you like, you tell them you are registered somewhere. Easy and non offensive.

But as they’re not as popular nowadays no one would ask so it’s kind of pointless then. I’ve only ever seen it years ago when it’s included in the invitation, how would people know about it otherwise?
That’s why people give cash isn’t it, so that you can get it yourself.
Cash also better to pay for the day. It’s useful when opening cards to write down who gave what amount so you can return the same amount on their day or thank them personally.

The wedding lists are great but it’s also hard to have a varied cost on it. Anything decent in BTs is €80plus and I doubt many would spend €200 or more on things. No point putting cheaper things on the list for the sake of it. We usually give €200 in card. At least with money you can put it together to buy something you can use.

splinter65 · 01-08-2020 10:46am

lazygal wrote: »

I love this. Just make sure you know the bed size. We got beautiful sets of sheets, but they're for a double bed and we have a king size.

This would absolutely kill me. I would just assume that people want king size.

splinter65 · 01-08-2020 10:48am

Hoboo wrote: »

And what did they get the groom? Thats the equivalent of buying the couple a pair of golf shoes. In a size 11.

The groom? He likes what the bride likes. End of.

fishy_fishy · 01-08-2020 8:12pm

Apologies if it's a bit off topic, but when do you give a gift?

I haven't ever given a wedding gift (haven't been to any other than family weddings when I was in primary school) but have a very small but close celebration coming up and unsure of the etiquette. We will be able to see bride and groom in the immediate run up to the wedding as well as on the day, so not sure if we should give in advance or on the day.

(In case it makes a difference, we will be giving cash)

_Whimsical_ · 02-08-2020 1:18am

fishy_fishy wrote: »

Apologies if it's a bit off topic, but when do you give a gift?

I haven't ever given a wedding gift (haven't been to any other than family weddings when I was in primary school) but have a very small but close celebration coming up and unsure of the etiquette. We will be able to see bride and groom in the immediate run up to the wedding as well as on the day, so not sure if we should give in advance or on the day.

(In case it makes a difference, we will be giving cash)

Definitely give it in advance then. There's often quite a bit of kerfuffle trying to keep cash safe on the when everyone's busy and distracted.

JustAThought · 02-08-2020 2:01am

Old fashioned but were I to (be irrational enough to) get married I wouod definately have a wedding list. I like to think that money isn’t wasted and people get to gift something of theor price range and choosing that the ‘couple’ would definately like and be to their taste - whatever the price range. Personally I like the idea of having a momento of the giver even if it is something I choose - and be able tomassociate that with them for years to come.

That having been said I have asked marrying couples what they would like as a gift and bought if for them hut cannot help being underwhelmed and a bit insulted by being asked for a gift voucher for B&Q or Dunnes - both of which I gave but somehow still think the less of the couple for asking for.

Teach30 · 02-08-2020 9:56am

JustAThought wrote: »

Old fashioned but were I to (be irrational enough to) get married I wouod definately have a wedding list. I like to think that money isn’t wasted and people get to gift something of theor price range and choosing that the ‘couple’ would definately like and be to their taste - whatever the price range. Personally I like the idea of having a momento of the giver even if it is something I choose - and be able tomassociate that with them for years to come.

That having been said I have asked marrying couples what they would like as a gift and bought if for them hut cannot help being underwhelmed and a bit insulted by being asked for a gift voucher for B&Q or Dunnes - both of which I gave but somehow still think the less of the couple for asking for.

Totally agree with you on the associating the gift with someone. It’s nice to look back and say they gave that. I suggested wedding list to someone and they said what people end up doing is looking at what you like and then buying a cheaper version of it. Eg Dyson hoover on list but buying a different and less expensive model.

Fair point I thought.

skallywag · 02-08-2020 12:23pm

woodchuck wrote: »

I think gifts are only advisable if you know the couple very well and what they'd actually like.

A massive plus one to that.

A family member of mine got married not too long ago, and I would say that ca 20% of the presents were non-cash gifts. The vast majority of those gifts 'raised an eyebrow' let's say and gave us all a good laugh the next day when sitting down and looking at them. They were mostly given by folk from the older generation, and would have been considered the done thing not all that long ago I guess, but young people getting married these days would typically neither need nor want the vast majority of it.

I know that comes across as ungrateful sounding, but unless you really know something that they would really like (and I think I would also be running it by a good friend of theirs or a family member) then I would stay away from the gift route.

That said, if you do not like the couple and are just going out of duty, then feel free to give a box of cutlery or a carriage clock

krissovo · 02-08-2020 12:45pm

My sister recently got married and set up a few wish lists on amazon, John Lewis (UK) and a travel agent to pay off a bit of the honeymoon cost at price points for everyones wallet.

She was delighted that she ended up with no tat and more importantly no one felt pressured to overspend.

niceoneted · 03-08-2020 2:38am

we are getting married later this year and numerous people have asked us about gifts. We sat down and hard a hard think about it and put a list of things both that we need and other things we would like but wouldn't necessarily rush out to get together on a list. I have asked a family member to manage it.
Personally i think you should get luxury items for people as presents. I usually give a mix of a small gift with cash.

qwerty13 · 03-08-2020 4:12am

niceoneted wrote: »

we are getting married later this year and numerous people have asked us about gifts. We sat down and hard a hard think about it and put a list of things both that we need and other things we would like but wouldn't necessarily rush out to get together on a list. I have asked a family member to manage it.
Personally i think you should get luxury items for people as presents. I usually give a mix of a small gift with cash.

Ah now it could be the way you’ve worded it, but expecting people to buy ‘luxury items’ as presents comes across a bit badly.

If my auntie Nora wanted to buy a set of china then grand. Off she goes. Doesn’t mean I’ll ever use them. But if she knows that I’d like a specific toaster worth 30, and she’d rather buy a china set worth 50, then really off she pops. No luxury item necessary. And also my preference is just that - a preference. Now if we’re talking usefulness, that’s a different discussion!

1perriwinkle · 03-08-2020 9:09am

We got married 20 years ago and in those days everyone had a wedding list and cash was rare. Even though myself and hubby lived together we had one in BT’s. We had ‘good’ everything on it, like a full Wedgewood dinner service, dualit toaster (still going strong!) le creuset pots etc, with lots of different prices. About 50% of guests bought from it. We didn’t mention it in the invite but told our parents, siblings and bridesmaid/best man so that if anyone asked about gifts they could tell them. We got married abroad so didn’t want people to feel they had to buy gifts as they were already paying to travel.
We also got lots of other random bits as gifts, most lovely, a few hideous. We have a lot of things we use regularly that make us think of the people who gave them to us.
One of our favourite gifts was a blanket from Avoca, which we got so much use out of. So now we always give one as a gift. They are almost €200 for the large ones and without exception the recipients have loved them. They are beautiful as well as useful and are not something you’re likely to buy yourself.

niceoneted · 03-08-2020 4:58pm

qwerty13 wrote: »

Ah now it could be the way you’ve worded it, but expecting people to buy ‘luxury items’ as presents comes across a bit badly.

If my auntie Nora wanted to buy a set of china then grand. Off she goes. Doesn’t mean I’ll ever use them. But if she knows that I’d like a specific toaster worth 30, and she’d rather buy a china set worth 50, then really off she pops. No luxury item necessary. And also my preference is just that - a preference. Now if we’re talking usefulness, that’s a different discussion!

I meant luxury as in thinks that a little pricier that you may not buy yourself like the example of the avoca blanket.

skallywag · 03-08-2020 6:41pm

niceoneted wrote: »

I meant luxury as in thinks that a little pricier that you may not buy yourself like the example of the avoca blanket.

I think your list is a great idea.

I really like the 'wedding table' idea where you can go into a shop and there is already a selection of gifts that the couple say they would like.

By the way I see 'engagement presents' are being mentioned by some on this thread, good God don't get me started :mad:

fishy_fishy · 06-08-2020 10:08pm

skallywag wrote: »

By the way I see 'engagement presents' are being mentioned by some on this thread, good God don't get me started :mad:

I don't think people go mad on engagement presents tbf - I bought a present for a relatively close friend who got engaged, and it was something quite specific to their engagement. Lots of people gave them some mugs or wine etc. Would say spending was around €15-30 on average and pretty much limited to closer friends.

lazygal · 07-08-2020 6:04am

We got a few presents when we got engaged. Mostly from relatives. Nothing too fancy.

What would you like as a gift if not cash?

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