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What would you like as a gift if not cash?

_Whimsical_

Yes I'm looking desperately for suggestions but wouldn't it serve all of us, including those of you getting gifts, to give ideas to the rest of us on what you might like?
Has anyone got anything they really liked lately?

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Sheep Shagger

Teach30 wrote: »

I know they do them but they’re not as popular nowadays as I suppose most people live together and have items for their home already. Also prices can be out of reach for some couples and it can put people under pressure to use it.

I could imagine the comments I would get if I set one up. No point looking for people to talk about you if that makes sense.

Personally couldn't care less what people think, as I said, we set up a Trailfinders account as we both like travel. Most people would be happy you are getting something you want instead of clutter you don't.

pwurple

You don't send it out in the invite.... ! The only people who know, ask.

You register, cover all ranges from 20 quid "daily wine glasses" up to something more expensive.

And when/if you're asked if there's anything you like, you tell them you are registered somewhere. Easy and non offensive.

Teach30

pwurple wrote: »

You don't send it out in the invite.... ! The only people who know, ask.

You register, cover all ranges from 20 quid "daily wine glasses" up to something more expensive.

And when/if you're asked if there's anything you like, you tell them you are registered somewhere. Easy and non offensive.

But as they’re not as popular nowadays no one would ask so it’s kind of pointless then. I’ve only ever seen it years ago when it’s included in the invitation, how would people know about it otherwise?
That’s why people give cash isn’t it, so that you can get it yourself.
Cash also better to pay for the day. It’s useful when opening cards to write down who gave what amount so you can return the same amount on their day or thank them personally.

The wedding lists are great but it’s also hard to have a varied cost on it. Anything decent in BTs is €80plus and I doubt many would spend €200 or more on things. No point putting cheaper things on the list for the sake of it. We usually give €200 in card. At least with money you can put it together to buy something you can use.

splinter65

lazygal wrote: »

I love this. Just make sure you know the bed size. We got beautiful sets of sheets, but they're for a double bed and we have a king size.

This would absolutely kill me. I would just assume that people want king size.

splinter65

Hoboo wrote: »

And what did they get the groom? Thats the equivalent of buying the couple a pair of golf shoes. In a size 11.

The groom? He likes what the bride likes. End of.

fishy_fishy

Apologies if it's a bit off topic, but when do you give a gift?

I haven't ever given a wedding gift (haven't been to any other than family weddings when I was in primary school) but have a very small but close celebration coming up and unsure of the etiquette. We will be able to see bride and groom in the immediate run up to the wedding as well as on the day, so not sure if we should give in advance or on the day.

(In case it makes a difference, we will be giving cash)

_Whimsical_

fishy_fishy wrote: »

Apologies if it's a bit off topic, but when do you give a gift?

I haven't ever given a wedding gift (haven't been to any other than family weddings when I was in primary school) but have a very small but close celebration coming up and unsure of the etiquette. We will be able to see bride and groom in the immediate run up to the wedding as well as on the day, so not sure if we should give in advance or on the day.

(In case it makes a difference, we will be giving cash)

Definitely give it in advance then. There's often quite a bit of kerfuffle trying to keep cash safe on the when everyone's busy and distracted.

JustAThought

Old fashioned but were I to (be irrational enough to) get married I wouod definately have a wedding list. I like to think that money isn’t wasted and people get to gift something of theor price range and choosing that the ‘couple’ would definately like and be to their taste - whatever the price range. Personally I like the idea of having a momento of the giver even if it is something I choose - and be able tomassociate that with them for years to come.

That having been said I have asked marrying couples what they would like as a gift and bought if for them hut cannot help being underwhelmed and a bit insulted by being asked for a gift voucher for B&Q or Dunnes - both of which I gave but somehow still think the less of the couple for asking for.

Teach30

JustAThought wrote: »

Old fashioned but were I to (be irrational enough to) get married I wouod definately have a wedding list. I like to think that money isn’t wasted and people get to gift something of theor price range and choosing that the ‘couple’ would definately like and be to their taste - whatever the price range. Personally I like the idea of having a momento of the giver even if it is something I choose - and be able tomassociate that with them for years to come.

That having been said I have asked marrying couples what they would like as a gift and bought if for them hut cannot help being underwhelmed and a bit insulted by being asked for a gift voucher for B&Q or Dunnes - both of which I gave but somehow still think the less of the couple for asking for.

Totally agree with you on the associating the gift with someone. It’s nice to look back and say they gave that. I suggested wedding list to someone and they said what people end up doing is looking at what you like and then buying a cheaper version of it. Eg Dyson hoover on list but buying a different and less expensive model.

Fair point I thought.

skallywag

woodchuck wrote: »

I think gifts are only advisable if you know the couple very well and what they'd actually like.

A massive plus one to that.

A family member of mine got married not too long ago, and I would say that ca 20% of the presents were non-cash gifts. The vast majority of those gifts 'raised an eyebrow' let's say and gave us all a good laugh the next day when sitting down and looking at them. They were mostly given by folk from the older generation, and would have been considered the done thing not all that long ago I guess, but young people getting married these days would typically neither need nor want the vast majority of it.

I know that comes across as ungrateful sounding, but unless you really know something that they would really like (and I think I would also be running it by a good friend of theirs or a family member) then I would stay away from the gift route.

That said, if you do not like the couple and are just going out of duty, then feel free to give a box of cutlery or a carriage clock

krissovo

My sister recently got married and set up a few wish lists on amazon, John Lewis (UK) and a travel agent to pay off a bit of the honeymoon cost at price points for everyones wallet.

She was delighted that she ended up with no tat and more importantly no one felt pressured to overspend.

niceoneted

we are getting married later this year and numerous people have asked us about gifts. We sat down and hard a hard think about it and put a list of things both that we need and other things we would like but wouldn't necessarily rush out to get together on a list. I have asked a family member to manage it.
Personally i think you should get luxury items for people as presents. I usually give a mix of a small gift with cash.

qwerty13

niceoneted wrote: »

we are getting married later this year and numerous people have asked us about gifts. We sat down and hard a hard think about it and put a list of things both that we need and other things we would like but wouldn't necessarily rush out to get together on a list. I have asked a family member to manage it.
Personally i think you should get luxury items for people as presents. I usually give a mix of a small gift with cash.

Ah now it could be the way you’ve worded it, but expecting people to buy ‘luxury items’ as presents comes across a bit badly.

If my auntie Nora wanted to buy a set of china then grand. Off she goes. Doesn’t mean I’ll ever use them. But if she knows that I’d like a specific toaster worth 30, and she’d rather buy a china set worth 50, then really off she pops. No luxury item necessary. And also my preference is just that - a preference. Now if we’re talking usefulness, that’s a different discussion!

1perriwinkle

We got married 20 years ago and in those days everyone had a wedding list and cash was rare. Even though myself and hubby lived together we had one in BT’s. We had ‘good’ everything on it, like a full Wedgewood dinner service, dualit toaster (still going strong!) le creuset pots etc, with lots of different prices. About 50% of guests bought from it. We didn’t mention it in the invite but told our parents, siblings and bridesmaid/best man so that if anyone asked about gifts they could tell them. We got married abroad so didn’t want people to feel they had to buy gifts as they were already paying to travel.
We also got lots of other random bits as gifts, most lovely, a few hideous. We have a lot of things we use regularly that make us think of the people who gave them to us.
One of our favourite gifts was a blanket from Avoca, which we got so much use out of. So now we always give one as a gift. They are almost €200 for the large ones and without exception the recipients have loved them. They are beautiful as well as useful and are not something you’re likely to buy yourself.

niceoneted

qwerty13 wrote: »

Ah now it could be the way you’ve worded it, but expecting people to buy ‘luxury items’ as presents comes across a bit badly.

If my auntie Nora wanted to buy a set of china then grand. Off she goes. Doesn’t mean I’ll ever use them. But if she knows that I’d like a specific toaster worth 30, and she’d rather buy a china set worth 50, then really off she pops. No luxury item necessary. And also my preference is just that - a preference. Now if we’re talking usefulness, that’s a different discussion!

I meant luxury as in thinks that a little pricier that you may not buy yourself like the example of the avoca blanket.

skallywag

niceoneted wrote: »

I meant luxury as in thinks that a little pricier that you may not buy yourself like the example of the avoca blanket.

I think your list is a great idea.

I really like the 'wedding table' idea where you can go into a shop and there is already a selection of gifts that the couple say they would like.

By the way I see 'engagement presents' are being mentioned by some on this thread, good God don't get me started :mad:

fishy_fishy

skallywag wrote: »

By the way I see 'engagement presents' are being mentioned by some on this thread, good God don't get me started :mad:

I don't think people go mad on engagement presents tbf - I bought a present for a relatively close friend who got engaged, and it was something quite specific to their engagement. Lots of people gave them some mugs or wine etc. Would say spending was around €15-30 on average and pretty much limited to closer friends.

lazygal

We got a few presents when we got engaged. Mostly from relatives. Nothing too fancy.

The Cool

Not engaged or married but would definitely prefer cash gifts, or if pushed, a voucher for somewhere, for me to pick bits myself. Presents can be so hit and miss for personal style, colour etc. For example, a friend recently received a wedding present of a v snazzy lamp, it's black and silver, very shiny and modern looking, but their whole house is done in white and pastels, floral, rustic style so it just looks silly and out of place in every room, so it's stayed in its box and was a waste of maybe €100 or so. Same goes with good quality sheets etc, the idea's nice but I think these days people want to pick them themselves. Lots would rather a voucher to pick their own kitchen appliances to go with their kitchen, than get a red kettle off someone and a yellow smeg toaster from someone else.

Engagement presents I think are a whole other category of junk, I guess because people who do buy, rightly don't want to spend a whole lot, it's just a token of about €20 as they know they'll be giving a wedding gift. There always seems to be lots of champagne flute sets (how many different pairs do you need?!) and photo frames. In my own circle of friends, for engagements we've all thrown in a few quid towards a hotel voucher for a break away, so at least they're getting something good, rather than 5 or 6 wee token presents.

Generally I'd rather cash to put to use, than a load of clutter taking up space.

scrumqueen

I know there are downsides to vouchers but I think a nice voucher would be for Irelands Blue Book.
They are Irish Country Houses and usually a bit on the pricier side to stay in so a voucher would certainly cover some of the cost and make it a treat.

La.m

I've only ever given cash but my parents have twice grouped together with others to buy the wedding couple a Webber BBQ. Way too expensive for just one person to buy but those kinds of big presents can go down well if a couple of people group together. I personally wouldn't risk it though unless it could be returned for cash or you knew the couple would definitely love it.