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Sex on a 1st date - opinions?

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13

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    #62
    ToddyDoody
    Registered Users Posts: 4,421 ✭✭✭ToddyDoody


    123shooter wrote: »
    There are various ways one of which is to drop your loaded wallet on the floor.......never fails.

    You'll want to do that before, not after.


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    #63
    123shooter
    Registered Users Posts: 964 ✭✭✭123shooter


    Ah the good olde days when half a shandy and a drag on yer fag worked wonders:):D


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    #64
    branie2
    Registered Users Posts: 10,292 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    Sounds like a deal-breaker to me


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    #65
    Richard Hillman
    Registered Users Posts: 12,033 ✭✭✭✭Richard Hillman


    I don't think it would be gentleman or lady-like to even kiss on a first date let alone fornicate.


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    #66
    Feckoffcup
    Closed Accounts Posts: 191 ✭✭Feckoffcup


    Richard Hillman wrote: »
    I don't think it would be lady gentleman or lady-like to even kiss on a first date let alone fornicate.
    You rid Gail platt on the first date didn't you?


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    #67
    leggo
    Registered Users Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    I don't have a preference. I've had relationships were I've waited that have gone horribly, and relationships were I didn't wait that have gone horribly. Come to think of it there's a recurring theme there actually...

    In all seriousness, I'd always say to female friends when we'd chat about this stuff that it wouldn't sway me either way. I wouldn't have more dates with someone I wasn't into for the sake of trying to get sex and I wouldn't judge someone who had sex with me on night one either. It's a non-factor.

    Personally I prefer it relatively early into dating, just because I joke that the first fully honest conversation you have with a potential partner is the morning after you've had sex: you're looser, you're in a good mood and you get a better sense for who the person is rather than the 'act' we all put on while dating, putting your best foot forward and whatnot.

    But I'd also never pressure someone either and find that women tend to respect that and it actually gets you further. I was dating a girl a while back who was a very 'good girl' so to speak, and I liked her, so I said to myself that the first time we had sex was completely hers to initiate and, sure enough, it happened naturally early enough.

    Having said all of that, if I get a sense that a woman uses sex as either a gambit, a cookie to reward you with or a weapon, it's a massive red flag and I'll run. So if someone says they prefer to wait, I'll totally respect that, but I'll also listen to their reasons why very carefully and judge them accordingly on them.


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    #68
    Macmillan150
    Registered Users Posts: 52 ✭✭Macmillan150


    I was in a long relationship with someone who had no real interest in sex. It was very lonely. Now it's one of the first things I look for in a man. If I get any tiny inkling that he thinks women who like sex are slutty or cheap I'm out of there like a rocket. Don't need that attitude in my life ever again.


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    #69
    um7y1h83ge06nx
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,029 ✭✭✭um7y1h83ge06nx


    Why not.

    Better than going home and pulling the absolute balls off yourself.


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    #70
    Bowlardo
    Registered Users Posts: 2,390 ✭✭✭Bowlardo


    Cheerful Spring wrote: »
    What i see more nowadays is men going out with there friends and leaving wife's and girlfriends at home, alot. it so odd to me. Majority of time i take the wife with me when i meet my friends.

    Someone has to mind the children and babysitters are expensive


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    #71
    Bambi985
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,274 ✭✭✭Bambi985


    Wouldn't be for me personally. Maybe coz I'm in my 30s now and there's greater considerations to take into account. Is he a kind person, is he on the same page, is he funny, does he want the same things, are there any big red flags that suggest I should run for the door etc. Sex can overshadow those things, and before you know it you're playing text-volley with some arsehole that you have nothing in common with for weeks/months on end and getting into all kinds of headfcuky situations because you can't see the wood for the trees.


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    #72
    Mrs Shuttleworth
    Registered Users Posts: 1,346 ✭✭✭Mrs Shuttleworth


    Anytime I let a guy know I'd be on for sex, he runs.

    Where is this parallel planet all of ye are living on? How do I get there?


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    #73
    Mister Vain
    Registered Users Posts: 6,040 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    Mrs Shuttleworth wrote: »
    Anytime I let a guy know I'd be on for sex, he runs.

    Where is this parallel planet all of ye are living on? How do I get there?

    I feel the same eay about Tinder. It doesn't seem to be as hookup-ey as its made out to be.


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    #74
    Mrs Shuttleworth
    Registered Users Posts: 1,346 ✭✭✭Mrs Shuttleworth


    Mister Vain wrote: »
    I feel the same eay about Tinder. It doesn't seem to be as hookup-ey as its made out to be.

    I think there's a lot of tyre kickers out there. They give the impression they're interested in meeting someone (even for something NSA) but then chicken out of it.

    Over time it can really knock your confidence.


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    #75
    CruelCoin
    Registered Users Posts: 4,468 ✭✭✭CruelCoin


    sporina wrote: »
    So, is it a no go for a potential relationship or is that old school - what say ye?

    I reckon it depends on how the date was secured.

    If it's someone that's been around and you've gotten to know them and then asked them out? Then maybe wait a bit.

    If it's someone you saw across the bar, then yeah 1st date ****ing is fine, because the two of you know, that really, the only reason you walked over is because you wanted to stick your dick into her.


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    #76
    Pac1Man
    Registered Users Posts: 4,394 ✭✭✭Pac1Man


    CruelCoin wrote: »
    If it's someone you saw across the bar, then yeah 1st date ****ing is fine, because the two of you know, that really, the only reason you walked over is because you wanted to stick your dick into her.

    -William Shakespeare, 1592


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    #77
    leggo
    Registered Users Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    Mister Vain wrote: »
    I feel the same eay about Tinder. It doesn't seem to be as hookup-ey as its made out to be.

    It depends how you do it. If you go on and ask people for hook ups and one night stands specifically, they'll say no. But people are very willing to meet for dates and usually will end up sleeping with you because that's what they're ultimately looking for. Basically it's a bunch of people pretending they want relationships or a connection in order to get the ride, and if you go into it with your eyes wide open on that, you'll do well. Lads in Ireland were always up for casual sex, now women are too but I think there's still a stigma around saying that honestly for a lot of people, so you have to do this dance around it. Just don't go in expecting more or put too much weight if people tell you they want something special because you'll end up getting wound up.


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    #78
    Dravokivich
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    If ye wanna have sex, go for it. Who cares if it's on a first date, or 3rd date or x date.


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    #79
    beefburrito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 695 ✭✭✭beefburrito


    Dravokivich wrote: »
    If ye wanna have sex, go for it. Who cares if it's on a first date, or 3rd date or x date.

    Exactly it's quite funny I was looking through old files of births and marriages back in the 1800's
    There was more single mothers in some parishes than married people.
    I'm sure they weren't opting for no sex on a first date.

    I'm single, love sex and wouldn't just hop into bed with any one.
    There has to be chemistry and attraction.
    As a bonus I don't drink and look after my appearance quite well.
    So no excuses for beer goggles.

    I love not being married and being free and single, it cuts out all the drama and intrigue.

    I'm on the dating apps and the amount of women who said they're not into NSA and drop their knickers in a heartbeat is phenomenal.

    It's mostly the professional women working in Law, medicine,finance and teachers etc who are more kinky and up for it,some love getting dressed up etc

    The women who are more grounded and have normal jobs seem to be less gamey...


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    #80
    weldoninhio
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,311 ✭✭✭✭weldoninhio


    Cheerful Spring wrote: »
    What i see more nowadays is men going out with there friends and leaving wife's and girlfriends at home, alot. it so odd to me. Majority of time i take the wife with me when i meet my friends.

    I'd say your mates are delighted with that.


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    #81
    midlandsmissus
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,838 ✭✭✭midlandsmissus


    AMKC wrote: »
    I think having sex on the first date is a no.

    If you have sex on the first date then there is less reason for your date to come back if it goes bad. Maybe on the 3rd or 4th date but not on the first date.

    But, as a woman, maybe you only want to see them one time.


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    #82
    Kimbot
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 18,433 Mod ✭✭✭✭Kimbot


    Sex is natural and good so first date or 21st date, I dont care. We all want it at some point so as long as its mutual then who cares.


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    #83
    midlandsmissus
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,838 ✭✭✭midlandsmissus


    Stacksofwacks wrote: »
    Its up to the woman really. In my own experience most women that go home with a guy on the first nite tend to be either skanks or psychos. generally the longer you are left waiting the better the gal. Most men will go home the first nite with a girl anyway

    Oh the good whole control in Ireland is out in force.
    Men: it's fine to have sex the first night
    Women: its not fine, you are skanks and hos.

    Puh-lease. I like having sex in flings with many different people, and its the best time of my life.

    Sex is natuaral, healthy and important, and variety is nice for everyone, for men and for women too!


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    #84
    AnneFrank
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,827 ✭✭✭AnneFrank


    i'm old fashioned i know, but i have to say, if a lady has sex on the first night, she's not a keeper for me.
    But each to their own


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    #85
    Starscream25
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,122 ✭✭✭Starscream25


    I waited months, didn't want to pressure her, we now have a fantastic sex life and would go as far as saying that I've met someone I want to spend the rest of my life with.


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    #86
    Shurimgreat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,133 ✭✭✭Shurimgreat


    AnneFrank wrote: »
    i'm old fashioned i know, but i have to say, if a lady has sex on the first night, she's not a keeper for me.
    But each to their own

    Even if the sex is good? :confused:


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    #87
    Pac1Man
    Registered Users Posts: 4,394 ✭✭✭Pac1Man


    Shurimgreat wrote: »
    Even if the sex is good? :confused:

    Don't be listening to her. She spent 6 years solid flicking the bean.


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    #88
    Lily Munster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 50 ✭✭Lily Munster


    AnneFrank wrote: »
    i'm old fashioned i know, but i have to say, if a lady has sex on the first night, she's not a keeper for me.
    But each to their own
    If you were actually old fashioned, you wouldn't be accommodating the sex on the first night which is so off-putting for you. ;)

    When the two people are wildly attracted to each other, sex on the first date is perfectly logical, with the ingredients for a great experience. It doesn't have to spell the end at all - if anything they'd want to keep seeing each other.

    But some folk, while liking the person, may want attraction to grow even more before doing the most intimate thing you can do. That's different to making the other person work for it, or adhering to some arbitrary "rule" ("wait until date three or four" - who comes up with this mechanical stuff?) And no sex on the first date hardly makes a woman (as one person suggested) a "princess". :confused: Maybe she'll have sex on the second date - that's hardly an eternity. Writing her off based on no sex following one date is bizarre.

    Either scenario seems healthy to me.

    Also, because of the "I'd be put off by a woman putting a gun to my head and having sex with me the first night" thing, I can see why women would prefer to hold off. Although it's a good filter. If someone is that fickle (and hypocritical!), it's probably for the best.

    I don't think it's wrong at all for a man to prefer it if a woman waits, by the way - so long as he turns down sex on the first night himself. He's not a wild cat and he can control himself.

    I've no doubt there are women too who are put off by a man having sex with her the first night. Same principle.


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    #89
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    AnneFrank wrote: »
    i'm old fashioned i know, but i have to say, if a lady has sex on the first night, she's not a keeper for me.
    But each to their own

    So do you at least have the decency to turn her down before you judge her or does that come after the shag?


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    #90
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    Nothing wrong with wanting to wait a while before you get intimate but the mentality that someone who waits is a better person than those who don't is very silly and prudish.


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    #91
    AnneFrank
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,827 ✭✭✭AnneFrank


    The op asked for opinions, i gave mine !


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