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08-11-2019, 17:22   #1
mr_fegelien
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Do you appreciate being complimented on your appearance?

I've heard conflicting things about this from women and the internet. Some girls I've talked to say that they don't like comments about their appearance from strangers like "you're really pretty" but others say they have no problem with it, even outside a club/pub setting.

I told a nurse in a hospital a few months ago who was taking care of me at my discharge that I thought she was attractive. She seemed to chuckle/smile when I said that. My mother thought that was a bit inappropriate as she has a few colleauges in her office that say they've been creeped out by random men commenting on their appearance.

Would that be the attitude of most women in regards to comments on how they look or would they be flattered by it?
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09-11-2019, 08:18   #2
pwurple
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For me, depends on context.

I like compliments that are about specifics. about how I take care of myself, like hair, nails, clothes style, from people who are noticing the effort that takes. (Men or women). That’s more of a Good for You compliment.

Compliments that are more general, like “you are attractive “, I would find slightly more seedy/creepy. To me, saying that can sometimes seem more like they want or expect something from me.
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09-11-2019, 13:04   #3
Sunny Dayz
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Quite a lot of what pwurple said - specific complements rather than general.


I prefer to be complemented by other females - and I'm a straight married woman. I think getting a complement from another woman is like admiration or it seems more genuine. Like complementing my shoes, my hair etc. From men I think specific complements are more acceptable than general. For example a guy a regularly train with commented on my hair being done one time but I did get a good chunk cut off and he does see me the same time every week. However an ex-work colleague of my husband once said to me on a work night out that I was a very beautiful woman and all I could say was "okay...thanks...." - it was so awkward. Now the tone was more you're a lovely woman and you should be told it rather than being hit on but it was still so awkward.
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10-11-2019, 10:58   #4
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Mostly I like them but it depends on the context.
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11-11-2019, 16:39   #5
Dial Hard
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If I was at work and simply engaged in doing my job and some randomer told me out of the blue he thought I was attractive I'd be questioning his social skills, tbh.
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11-11-2019, 16:41   #6
CivilCybil
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I'd be ok with someone (particularly another woman) complimenting my clothes or hair or nails.
I'd be less comfortable with a man saying the same.

And I'd be completely uncomfortable with a random person (male or female) commenting on my perceived attractiveness.
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11-11-2019, 19:54   #7
mr_fegelien
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dial Hard View Post
If I was at work and simply engaged in doing my job and some randomer told me out of the blue he thought I was attractive I'd be questioning his social skills, tbh.
Well I have Aspergers and have complimented someone on their appearance at a pharmacy. Was told it's not a good idea as they can't really tell you to piss off like they could if a man said it at a bus stop or when they're shopping. A bit unfair to flirt at someones place of work.

But what exactly would make you question social skills? Is it inappropriate?

Has it ever happened to you personally?
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11-11-2019, 22:50   #8
meeeeh
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I've been complimented before. Usually by someone ancient and senile enough I wasn't insulted by it but I didn't take it seriously either. I don't mind my friends voicing their opinion about my looks. My favourite is a friend of mine staring at my legs for a bit and eventually saying 'I'm no trying to insult you but you have footballer's legs'. It wasn't a compliment. Anyway I don't get offended but some compliments made me feel very uncomfortable and some were actually creepy.

Better not to do it unless you are close enough to the person to know they will like it.

Edit: just to add. There were two people who definitely lacked social skills and probably a bit more. One stalked the house for a while, and would stand outside looking through the window. The other one followed me around woods telling me I have beautiful smile. He didn't approach me again but the first one's family had to be asked to keep him away. If people who are close to you advise you not to do it then you should probably listen to them.

Last edited by meeeeh; 11-11-2019 at 22:57.
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12-11-2019, 00:20   #9
Raconteuse
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Yes usually. But like anything, it's not always appropriate.

If a woman said to a man he was gorgeous in a strange setting, it would be considered weird too.
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12-11-2019, 01:46   #10
Sheridan81
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One time I complimented a woman who I'd known for a little while. She was about 8 years younger than me. I said 'you're really beautiful' and she was-or so I thought at the time. She had this weird effect on me. I didn't want to sleep with her or have a relationship with her really cause she wasn't very bright, but I thought she'd like it if I complimented her.

Well she didn't, she just got embarrassed. It's a bit sad how you can't tell someone you think they're beautiful and when you say it, they don't care. I know if a woman said that to me it would please me, but then I wouldn't really believe her; I'd think that was a bit weird cause I'm not physically striking. Anyway, that's' never happened and it's never going to happen. Maybe the lady I said it to didn't believe me...

I guess it's not a good idea generally speaking.
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12-11-2019, 09:22   #11
skallywag
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I think that there certainly may well be a certain element of flattery taken from such a comment, but it would also get me thinking along the lines of 'is yer man a bit touched I wonder?!'.
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12-11-2019, 13:32   #12
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I actually saw a woman in a coffee shop and she looked particularly good. Not stunningly beautiful but very elegant with a really nice outfit. I wanted to tell her she was looking great but I thought it might sound weird so I chickened out. Told my wife later and she laughed...."who doesn't love a compliment" she says.
Still thought it might have sounded weird though.
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12-11-2019, 13:40   #13
skallywag
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mfceiling View Post
I actually saw a woman in a coffee shop and she looked particularly good. Not stunningly beautiful but very elegant with a really nice outfit. I wanted to tell her she was looking great but I thought it might sound weird so I chickened out. Told my wife later and she laughed...."who doesn't love a compliment" she says.
Still thought it might have sounded weird though.
I actually can see where you are coming from, and know exactly what you mean. Sometimes you do see someone who really stands out from a style and elegance point of view, e.g. let's call it far removed from the norm for the sake of discussion, but I would also hold back myself form passing any comment, for the exact same reasons that you mention.

I guess it is pretty much also related to the fact that it is quite rare these days that someone will ask a stranger out in a public situation. I somehow get the feeling that such behaviour is viewed as weird/creepy these days, whereas I do not believe that this was the case before the turn of the millenium etc. at least not in my recollection. There have actually even been threads on Boards where posters have commented that they would be completely creeped out if a man were to ask them out just on a whim in a public place etc.
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12-11-2019, 15:06   #14
meeeeh
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I don't mind strangers complimenting my clothes at all as long as it's not the same people doing it multiple times. For me someone complimenting my clothes or hair is completely different as long as they are not complimenting my cleavage in that top.
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13-11-2019, 08:46   #15
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I've no problem with being complimented about something I'm wearing etc., (unless like meeeh says it's an obvious cover for saying 'nice tits'), wouldn't be a fan of random remarks on my general attractiveness though, and especially not in a situation where I'm required by my job to be polite and friendly to people.

I suppose it's the difference between someone commenting on something I chose, versus something I've no control over. Like, imagine someone randomly walking up to you and saying 'You're so tall!' - it's just weird and awkward.
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