calling your parents ma'am/sir

mr_fegelien · 20-09-2019 6:15pm #1

Is this exclusively American? I was watching a YouTube episode of The World's Strictest Parents and in some, they made the teens call them ma'am/sir.

I think though they just did that cause they weren't their parents and just other adults and wanted them to show respect. Surely they don't make their kids call them ma'am/sir. That's just weird. But maybe not according to some.

Have you ever heard that here?

EmmetSpiceland · 20-09-2019 6:21pm

A friend of mine called his mother “mammy” well into his late teens, probably still does.

He got an unmerciful “slagging” over it. Among other things.

RWCNT · 20-09-2019 6:23pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

A friend of mine called his mother “mammy” well into his late teens, probably still does.

He got an unmerciful “slagging” over it. Among other things.

That's pretty cute tbh.

I don't want to paint with a broad brush, but anyone who has their kids call them "sir" is probably a nutter.

BDI · 20-09-2019 6:24pm

The worse is the edgey hip teenagers that call their mothers by their first name like it makes them so cool and badass.

Couldn’t even make themselves a cheese sandwich.

NickNickleby · 20-09-2019 6:25pm

I'm 64 and I address my mother as "Mam", the Irish version (or Yorkshire) not the American "ma'am". No one slags me for it.

Vita nova · 20-09-2019 6:27pm

Never heard an Irish person call his/her father sir but as you know it's very common to call one's mother mam in Ireland which is a homophone of ma'am.

banie01 · 20-09-2019 6:27pm

A quite serious question that is tangential to constant shít posting of the O.P...!
How to I put someone on ignore if I'm using the legacy site on mobile?

20-09-2019 6:33pm

When I was in secondary school, my Mum had to write a note to explain my absence on the day before.

She wrote, "Miltiades wasn't in school yesterday as he had to help his Daddy with the calves"

For years after, if I was late for anything, my friends would say "We're you helping daddy with the calves?" I dont see why it was strange to call your Dad Daddy tbh, but it was cringe worthy at the time.

BDI · 20-09-2019 6:34pm

banie01 wrote: »

A quite serious question that is tangential to constant shít posting of the O.P...!
How to I put someone on ignore if I'm using the legacy site on mobile?

Ask your kids to help you.
I’m sure they will reply with a yes, sir.

corner of hells · 20-09-2019 6:35pm

banie01 wrote: »

A quite serious question that is tangential to constant shít posting of the O.P...!
How to I put someone on ignore of I'm using the legacy site on mobile?

I feel your anguish , unfortunately I can't help you .
I'm in work all weekend so can't drink however I'm thinking of eating a dead badger I found on the road.
She's not happy with this but I'm hoping to get sectioned from A&E after I recover from food poisoning and/or rabies.

Ficheall · 20-09-2019 6:38pm

BDI wrote: »

The worse is the edgey hip teenagers that call their mothers by their first name like it makes them so cool and badass.

Couldn’t even make themselves a cheese sandwich.

I've always called my parents by their first names, since that's what everyone else called them.

And my cheese, Tayto, and apple sandwiches are top notch.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 20-09-2019 6:39pm

OP watches an extreme case on YouTube and extrapolates it to life in Ireland. You need to get out more.

BDI · 20-09-2019 6:41pm

Ficheall wrote: »

I've always called my parents by their first names, since that's what everyone else called them.

And my cheese, Tayto, and apple sandwiches are top notch.

Oooooh awkward.

LizT · 20-09-2019 6:42pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

A friend of mine called his mother “mammy” well into his late teens, probably still does.

He got an unmerciful “slagging” over it. Among other things.

I’ve friends from Northern Ireland in their 30s that still say mummy and daddy. Seems to be common enough up there.

simongurnick · 20-09-2019 6:42pm

The yanks use sir and maam a lot in general, especially texas.

L1011 · 20-09-2019 6:44pm

Its exclusively American.

Insect Overlord · 20-09-2019 6:46pm

Military culture.

banie01 · 20-09-2019 6:50pm

BDI wrote: »

Ask your kids to help you.
I’m sure they will reply with a yes, sir.

You mean talk to the little Bollox?
Really? Like approach him as a near equal with a modicum of respect to make a request for help?
Rather than order him to do it?

Ah feck it, I'll just click on the desktop option stick the textually diarrhoea afflicted keyboard vomited on ignore the old fashioned way :P

dxhound2005 · 20-09-2019 6:51pm

Marian Keyes calls her mother Mammy Keyes.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m0008j6q

blackcard · 20-09-2019 6:57pm

Calling Bob, Jim, Tom, Dan as Bobby, Jimmy, Tommy and Danny is okay but calling your mother mammy is something you should be slagged for? Get over it, it is only a word and it shows serious childish immaturity to slag someone over it.

nkl12xtw5goz70 · 20-09-2019 6:58pm

mr_fegelien wrote: »

Is this exclusively American?

It's not common at all there. Most American children would call their parents mom and dad. I have never heard an American child call his or her father "sir".

Badly Drunk Boy · 20-09-2019 6:59pm

One of the lads in work (who's in his early 50), often refers to his 'Mammy'. It sounds slightly funny but I've no problem with it. The only comment I've heard anyone make about it was from one of the women, who thinks it's cute.

The Rape of Lucretia · 20-09-2019 7:00pm

Ma'am/sir is certainly over the top unless one's parents are titled. For the rest of us, 'Mother' and 'Father' are the appropriate terms. I find 'Mama' and 'Papa' too casual. 'Mater' and 'Pater' just pretentious. 'Mum', 'Mam', 'Dad', etc, well, your fate in the lower echelons of society is inescapable.

El_Duderino 09 · 20-09-2019 7:02pm

Vita nova wrote: »

Never heard an Irish person call his/her father sir but as you know it's very common to call one's mother mam in Ireland which is a homophone of ma'am.

It's a shortened version of mammy.

mr_fegelien · 20-09-2019 7:05pm

Alfredo Grumpy Supplement wrote: »

It's not common at all there. Most American children would call their parents mom and dad. I have never heard an American child call his or her father "sir".

I've heard a kid saying it once or twice in Georgia. Must be more common in the Bible Belt.

Strumms · 20-09-2019 7:05pm

Mam, Dad. Simple...I’d find it fûcking weird for anyone to call their parents...Patrick, Marion etc to be honest. Why do people just have to be weird.

mr_fegelien · 20-09-2019 7:07pm

The Rape of Lucretia wrote: »

Ma'am/sir is certainly over the top unless one's parents are titled. For the rest of us, 'Mother' and 'Father' are the appropriate terms. I find 'Mama' and 'Papa' too casual. 'Mater' and 'Pater' just pretentious. 'Mum', 'Mam', 'Dad', etc, well, your fate in the lower echelons of society is inescapable.

I wonder if it would be acceptable to call your dad sir if he was for example knighted. Like Andy Murray's kids saying to their friends, hey sir.

Sardonicat · 20-09-2019 7:09pm

Married couples addressing each other as Mammy and Daddy is a bit weird.

On that note, John Lennon called Yoko 'Mother', even before she had Sean.

The Sir, Ma'am thing is probably cultural. Irish people are very informal, we pretty much address everyone by their first names . Having dealt with American customers in a call centre, most of them addressed me as ma'am. I found it very grating but they were just being polite. I think expecting your kids to address you this way is extremely authoritarian. I doubt it's common practice.

The Rape of Lucretia · 20-09-2019 7:11pm

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I wonder if it would be acceptable to call your dad sir if he was for example knighted. Like Andy Murray's kids saying to their friends, hey sir.

I dont think so. I think its really only appropriate for hereditary titles.

Vita nova · 20-09-2019 7:13pm

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

It's a shortened version of mammy.

I know, hence a homophone, different meaning and spelling but the same pronunciation.

Sardonicat · 20-09-2019 7:15pm

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I wonder if it would be acceptable to call your dad sir if he was for example knighted. Like Andy Murray's kids saying to their friends, hey sir.

If they were knighted, were conferred with an honoury doctorate and held a PhD you would have to say 'Sir Dr.Dr. Dad'?

El_Duderino 09 · 20-09-2019 7:36pm

Vita nova wrote: »

I know, hence a homophone, different meaning and spelling but the same pronunciation.

Ah, I though you said synonym but you're right, you said homophone.

davetherave · 20-09-2019 7:39pm

Sardonicat wrote: »

If they were knighted, we're conferred with an honoury doctorate and held a PhD you would have to say 'Sir Dr.Dr. Dad'?

They should really use whichever honorification is appropriate for the situation.
That being said, the Sir is closest to the name. So it would be
Dr. Sir Dad PhD or Dr Dame Mam PhD

They can get long winded though. For example His Excellency, The Right Honourable, Air Chief Marshall Dr. Sir. Paddy Longnose GBE

would be acceptable and make sense.

I've had to call the brother Sir a few times, on account of him being a commissioned officer and me being an enlisted rank. The auld lad, before he retired, did it once when they first met in uniform and told him to enjoy it, that it would never happen again :pac:

Sardonicat · 20-09-2019 7:42pm

People with PhDs are addressed as Dr, not PhD.

Manic Moran · 20-09-2019 7:42pm

It seems to be more a Southern thing for the kids to address their parents as Sir/Ma'am when they're old enough to understand terms of respect. The concept is "respect of others", basically, so it drives them to saying 'sir/ma'am' to everyone. Note, it is usually used in response. If they want the attention of the parent, its "Dad, can I....", not "Sir, can I..." but if in response to a question, "Yes, Sir". I've encountered a few families which do this.

Adults will commonly use it to address others as well, it's not something which disappears when they hit adulthood.

Wibbs · 20-09-2019 8:34pm

A friend of mine was married to a Georgian lass and there was that Sir/Ma'am thing going on, as MM said it was applied to all people around them. As was a general politeness. Very polite people. I found it very endearing myself. Though not once was I offered a mint julep, the bastards.

metaoblivia · 20-09-2019 8:35pm

Manic Moran wrote: »

It seems to be more a Southern thing for the kids to address their parents as Sir/Ma'am when they're old enough to understand terms of respect. The concept is "respect of others", basically, so it drives them to saying 'sir/ma'am' to everyone. Note, it is usually used in response. If they want the attention of the parent, its "Dad, can I....", not "Sir, can I..." but if in response to a question, "Yes, Sir". I've encountered a few families which do this.

Adults will commonly use it to address others as well, it's not something which disappears when they hit adulthood.

I grew up in the South and this is accurate. Growing up, Mom and Dad were mom and dad, unless you were in trouble and you're getting a lecture. Then it's, "yes sir, yes ma'am." Outside of that, sir and ma'am are used to refer to anyone you want to show respect to in place of their name.

And even as an adult, it occasionally slips in when I'm talking to a colleague and quickly affirm something:

Can you print these out for me?

Yes, ma'am!

It makes some people really uncomfortable, especially if they grew up outside of the South. But it's so ingrained that sometimes it just slips out. My own mother yes ma'ams me once in a while now. :pac:

Wibbs · 20-09-2019 8:39pm

It's also handy if you forget somebody's name. The Southern version of the Irish, "ah it's yourself!"

Zorya · 20-09-2019 8:43pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

A friend of mine called his mother “mammy” well into his late teens, probably still does.

He got an unmerciful “slagging” over it. Among other things.

Oh dear. My kids are mid to late 20s and they all call me Mammy. It never crossed my mind that could be odd. Till now!

They have other weird words and pet names they often use, and I think they use "my mother" among friends. But when push comes to shove and disaster, minor or major, strikes, the phone call or text starts with Mammy!

J Mysterio · 20-09-2019 8:47pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

A friend of mine called his mother “mammy” well into his late teens, probably still does.

He got an unmerciful “slagging” over it. Among other things.

Thats hugely common. I've known 50 year old men who call their parents 'mammy'/ 'daddy'.

Strumms · 20-09-2019 9:08pm

Wibbs wrote: »

It's also handy if you forget somebody's name. The Southern version of the Irish, "ah it's yourself!"

That’s one of the oddest expressions. I once worked with a fella, he’d call the wife during his lunch break...

“ howya doing, is that yourself ? , it’s meself here ”

On me walking in to the office of a morning.... “ahhh there you are now, it’s yourself !”

Of course it’s myself who the fûck else am I supposed to be :eek:

Zorya · 20-09-2019 9:12pm

Strumms wrote: »

Wibbs wrote: »

It's also handy if you forget somebody's name. The Southern version of the Irish, "ah it's yourself!"

That’s one of the oddest expressions. I once worked with a fella, he’d call the wife during his lunch break...

“ howya doing, is that yourself ? , it’s meself here ”

On me walking in to the office of a morning.... “ahhh there you are now, it’s yourself !”

Of course it’s myself who the fûck else am I supposed to be :eek:

The correct response is "Tis, aye."

nkl12xtw5goz70 · 20-09-2019 9:17pm

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I've heard a kid saying it once or twice in Georgia. Must be more common in the Bible Belt.

I've lived in the Bible Belt and never heard it there either.

It's very common in US shops, hotels, and restaurants for staff to address patrons as "sir" and "ma'am." But I've never heard it from child to parent.

Insect Overlord · 20-09-2019 9:18pm

There's part of County Tyrone where "Sir" is used as a colloquial greeting as well, like bud/sham/horse/mate/lad in other parts of this island.

nkl12xtw5goz70 · 20-09-2019 9:22pm

Insect Overlord wrote: »

There's part of County Tyrone where "Sir" is used as a colloquial greeting as well, like bud/sham/horse/mate/lad in other parts of this island.

That's common in Derry and Donegal as well.

Sir Osis of Liver. · 20-09-2019 10:32pm

A lad I work with calls his wife Mammy.He's in his late 50's and his kids are adults.
It's fcukin weird to hear him on the phone to her ...yes Mammy,no Mammy.

Even when he's talking about her to us it's..And then Mammy said this,Mammy said that..

Fcukin hell,it's strange.

Pintman Paddy Losty · 20-09-2019 10:58pm

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

When I was in secondary school, my Mum had to write a note to explain my absence on the day before.

She wrote, "Miltiades wasn't in school yesterday as he had to help his Daddy with the calves"

For years after, if I was late for anything, my friends would say "We're you helping daddy with the calves?" I dont see why it was strange to call your Dad Daddy tbh, but it was cringe worthy at the time.

Can't imagine that the slagging solely derived from using the term 'daddy' in a note. Surely being a complete dandy who was more interested in flower arrangement and pastel colours than hurling was the main factor?

screamer · 20-09-2019 11:06pm

My pet hate is kids calling their parents by their first name, so disrespectful

Greentopia · 20-09-2019 11:11pm

Sardonicat wrote: »

I think expecting your kids to address you this way is extremely authoritarian. I doubt it's common practice.

It's conservative American ****e. More specifically Southern States I believe. A part of their fetishisation of the military and authoritarian structures they seem to revere, just extended to the home.

I never heard anyone address their parents as Sir or Ma'am here. Any parent that would demand their kids address them like that are on power trips.

They're the type who demand complete obedience and submission and try to mould their kids into mini-me's. Then wonder why their kids grow up to be crippled with emotional and psychological problems and despise them.

Greentopia · 20-09-2019 11:17pm

screamer wrote: »

My pet hate is kids calling their parents by their first name, so disrespectful

Not if the parents are ok with it. I don't have kids but it wouldn't bother me. To me respect is shown in how people treat each other, not what appellation is used.

20-09-2019 11:31pm

screamer wrote: »

My pet hate is kids calling their parents by their first name, so disrespectful

I don't think respect has anything to do with it. I've always called my parents by name, couldn't have respected them more.

They were always referred to as Mum and Dad when I was speaking about them, but otherwise I called them by their names. They always preferred it that way themselves.

It's just a preference, not a downgrade.

calling your parents ma'am/sir

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