Friend thinks I'm loaded

bitofabind · 08-06-2021 3:25pm

MoMoneyMoProblems wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies. Too many to get back to all of them individually.

To those asking why I'm still friends with him, I guess it's because we are friends for so long and it seems sad to end it over something stupid like this.

I also have slagged him back the odd time when he says something about my money and say well look sure i'm not going on holidays as much as you.

In future I'll be more direct with him and say that I really don't appreciate it and see what happens from there. If he continues it even after I've said that then there's no salvaging this friendship.

Google "sunk cost fallacy", it applies to friendships as well as business decisions, relationships, etc. It's when people continue to invest in something solely because they've invested so much time already, despite it yielding little to no reward, and it's a big driver behind the bad decisions we can make it life.

Don't invest any more time in a dead-end friendship with a childhood 'friend' who continually crosses boundaries because he has a big fat chip on his shoulder about money. Doesn't matter if ye know each other years - people outgrow each other all the time. I'd have feck all in common with some of the folks that I was joint at the hip to 20 odd years ago. People change and evolve, that's life. What do you get from this friendship beyond judgement, resentment, jealousy and violation of your privacy? Anything at all?

Time to seriously evaluate whether or not this is a person you need to cut out of your life. In the meantime, throw some questions in his face when the line of probing starts. "Why are you asking me that?" "Do you think that's appropriate to ask me?" "Is that any of your business?"

HildaOgdenx · 08-06-2021 6:14pm

Agree with what bitofabind said. I also would be inclined to say 'ah change that tired ould record would you' in a bored way, next time he trots out the same old baloney.

Sometimes people like that are just needling for a reaction, so they can then go into what I call 'hurt bunny' mode and try to make it look like you're the one in the wrong, if you snap.

As has been said, friendships change and move, and sometimes die. I realised one day for example, that someone I thought was a friend, was really only watching all the time to put me down. Or if I said something implying that I was putting myself down, she was happy.

We are long out of touch now. And I am sure we miss one another equally, ie not in the slightest.

08-06-2021 6:33pm

I certainly wouldn't consider them friends, jealous users imo. I would have dropped them long ago, please don't get a baby present for them, cheek of them asking for a blanket and 'forgetting ' to get presents for your children. Ease away from them gently if you find it easier, don't invite them to your house to benefit from your 'expensive ' purchases and make an excuse if they invite you to their house . They're definitely jealous for some reason but seem to have no problem benefiting from what you've purchased, they bring nothing but annoyance imo, let them off to annoy someone else.

bitofabind · 08-06-2021 6:36pm

Yup. Have ditched a few of those bad eggs over the years, the ones that almost derived satisfaction or an ego boost from doing me dirty in some way, be it talking me down, judging me, making jokes at my expense, comparing my successes to theirs etc. Someone that puts you down all the time is not a friend, no matter how far ye go back in time OP. Look for the people that raise you up and are happy for your successes, those are the friends you need.

Faith · 09-06-2021 8:57am

I woke up in the middle of the night last night and couldn't get back to sleep until I had located and cuddled the crocheted blanket someone made for me when I was a baby. My husband had pulled it on to his side during the night.

I'm 34.

Gifts like that should be considered bloody priceless, and I'd be beyond raging if I'd be in your position. I've been considering learning to crochet just so I can give blankets to friends' kids because mine means so much to me.

I'd definitely be ditching those "friends".

Ms. Newbie18 · 09-06-2021 11:37am

Hi OP,

Does the wife mark similar remarks to yours? Your friend was spot on with his Mr. Holiday comments. Maybe he is getting on their nerves with his BS too. So if you have to pull him up again you may have back up. Though if the same thing is going on within the group of wives you will have more problems.

lisasimpson · 11-06-2021 6:19am

Years ago i worked with a woman money obbessed. Was always on the poor mouth mortage, childcare etc. Now a family member minded her kids compared to other working mums in the office with no such help. The type if they won the lotto would have it spent in no lenght. Drove everyone mad.
Anyway she go this fixation i was loaded and more than one occassion asked me what salary was I on to afford 2 long haul holidays in 12 months and paying rent. Would have been same wage as her.Eventually i turned to her 1 day when she bought it up and said i dont smoke, i dont need to drink every night out ive no kids im a bit young yet to staying at praying for a peaceful death at 30. Work colleagues bust out laughing and she never bought it up again. Some people just have no concept of money or basic financial skills. D
Mike you friend a few digs back would do no harm. Yourself and wife work hard enough. Whats the point if you not going to spend some money on rewarding/enjoying yourself

Friend thinks I'm loaded

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