Engagement Ring

Luca G · 03-11-2020 9:19pm #1

What would you say is a good price to spend on an engagement ring i have an idea of what price and type just wondering what others think.

I know the engagement ring is more expensive then the wedding ring as there more simple .

I know what she likes I am good a picking out jewellery in the past and she never brought it back to change it. I always get a gift receipt just in case anyway.
I'm pretty confident I will pick a good one, but then again this will be pretty expensive and not sure if I can go back with it if she wants to look at others .

as_mo_bhosca · 03-11-2020 9:26pm

I think it depends on what you can afford. Do not listen to rubbish about 2/3 months salary. This is just a marketing campaign from De Beers diamonds and frankly would be a ridiculous amount of money to spend on a ring. My gf drives a car currently worth about 5k, if I spent 10-15k on a ring, I think she'd prefer a newer car!
ETA: diamond industry/fecking eejits say I should spend 10-15k on a ring. I just spent a little over 1800 on a half carat diamond set in an 18 carat gold solitaire setting. IMHO opinion, and hers more importantly, it's all about the sparkle of the diamond!

Locotastic · 03-11-2020 9:28pm

Luca G wrote: »

What would you say is a good price to spend on an engagement ring i have an idea of what price and type just wondering what others think.

I know the engagement ring is more expensive then the wedding ring as there more simple .

I know what she likes I am good a picking out jewellery in the past and she never brought it back to change it. I always get a gift receipt just in case anyway.
I'm pretty confident I will pick a good one, but then again this will be pretty expensive and not sure if I can go back with it if she wants to look at others .

You'll probably hear lots of different amounts like a months salary, two months salary....whatever.

At the end of the day there shouldn't be a set figure and you should spend what you decide is affordable for you.

Don't waste money just pick a figure you're comfortable with, take a look at rings and see if there's anything you really like (and then check the price tag).

My engagement ring was expensive, in my opinion a huge waste of money and if I'd had got to pick it myself I would have got something different and about a tenth of the price.

If you are going to spend a large amount then the cost of insuring it is something you need to consider too long term. An expensive ring you'll pay for again in insurance over the years.

But seriously, don't waste a fortune on a ring. It's not worth it and if you're getting engaged for the right reasons then the price tag on the ring won't matter a single bit.

Luca G · 03-11-2020 10:37pm

Locotastic wrote: »

You'll probably hear lots of different amounts like a months salary, two months salary....whatever.

My engagement ring was expensive, in my opinion a huge waste of money and if I'd had got to pick it myself I would have got something different and about a tenth of the price.

If you are going to spend a large amount then the cost of insuring it is something you need to consider too long term. An expensive ring you'll pay for again in insurance over the years.

Thanks for the advice, my girlfriend is the same she would say it's to expensive. I was looking at platinum rings

I wouldn't know much about the insurance now how much would that be do you pay for it each month ? Or pit a set price down?

Luca G · 03-11-2020 10:42pm

as_mo_bhosca wrote: »

I think it depends on what you can afford. Do not listen to rubbish about 2/3 months salary. This is just a marketing campaign from De Beers diamonds and frankly would be a ridiculous amount of money to spend on a ring. My gf drives a car currently worth about 5k, if I spent 10-15k on a ring, I think she'd prefer a newer car!
ETA: diamond industry/fecking eejits say I should spend 10-15k on a ring. I just spent a little over 1800 on a half carat diamond set in an 18 carat gold solitaire setting. IMHO opinion, and hers more importantly, it's all about the sparkle of the diamond!

My girlfriend would prefer the car aswell Haha .
Thanks for your advice appreciate it .

Ninesell · 03-11-2020 10:42pm

Would you think about proposing with a token ring? We went shopping for my ring together and personally I was happy to be involved in and enjoyed that experience!

Luca G · 03-11-2020 11:27pm

Ninesell wrote: »

Would you think about proposing with a token ring? We went shopping for my ring together and personally I was happy to be involved in and enjoyed that experience!

I was thinking about that aswell. It would be good in a way she can pick out what she definitely likes but I know she will be checking the prices which will annoy me.

Locotastic · 03-11-2020 11:28pm

Just on the platinum rings, mine is platinum and its a very dull metal (you can get them polished but I've never bothered).

On the other hand my wedding ring is a plain white gold band (cost about €100) and is as good as the day I got it.

For insurance over a certain amount a valuation is needed by the insurer, mine is valued at €5k and costs about €100 a year to insure, not a huge amount but over time it adds up and I never wear the ring so it just seems pointless.

The token ring mentioned is an excellent idea, plus she might really like it. The fact that you picked it for her is all that matters, price doesn't come into it.

Purple Mountain · 03-11-2020 11:32pm

Luca G wrote: »

I was thinking about that aswell. It would be good in a way she can pick out what she definitely likes but I know she will be checking the prices which will annoy me.

As a woman who will be wearing it every day for the rest of her life, shouldn't she be the one to pick it to her taste?
Like someone said, have a nice costume ring as a proposal gesture and then if you both discuss the price you're comfortable with and agree on that, go shopping together.

ibFoxer · 03-11-2020 11:38pm

Ninesell wrote: »

Would you think about proposing with a token ring? We went shopping for my ring together and personally I was happy to be involved in and enjoyed that experience!

This was my take on it, we ended up going to look at rings and once herself had found one she liked we got it, or one similarly styled, made privately to a higher standard and for significantly cheaper (I do realise that not everyone knows a goldsmith however) but the take away is that it had nothing to do with the amount spent, just that she was 100% happy with it.

nikpmup · 03-11-2020 11:40pm

Absolutely let her pick it!! Shopping for the ring is a lovely thing to do together, once restrictions are somewhat lifted. I ended up getting something that I never would have thought I'd like, once I saw it I knew it was the ring for me. If he'd picked my ring he never would have picked it based on what he thought my preference was.

cannotlogin · 03-11-2020 11:46pm

Luca G wrote: »

I was thinking about that aswell. It would be good in a way she can pick out what she definitely likes but I know she will be checking the prices which will annoy me.

Just tell the jeweller what your maximum budget is in advance and ask them to show her a tray within the price range.

Alkers · 04-11-2020 12:12am

You can get token rings in the style of many common engagement ring styles, try that and you can mirror it if she loves it

Xtrail14 · 04-11-2020 12:13am

12 and a half corona payments is the new normal.

nikpmup · 04-11-2020 12:59am

cannotlogin wrote: »

Just tell the jeweller what your maximum budget is in advance and ask them to show her a tray within the price range.

^^ This. Most jewellers will ask what style you like, what metal and what budget when you make an appointment. Or talk to your fiancee beforehand, and agree a ballpark. Its the first financial decision you'll make together in your marriage

appledrop · 04-11-2020 1:09am

nikpmup wrote: »

Absolutely let her pick it!! Shopping for the ring is a lovely thing to do together, once restrictions are somewhat lifted. I ended up getting something that I never would have thought I'd like, once I saw it I knew it was the ring for me. If he'd picked my ring he never would have picked it based on what he thought my preference was.

I would agree with this 100%. I thought I always knew what style I wanted until I actually tried them on! It might sound mad but some of rings didn't suit my hand + you won't know till you try it on.

Its so exciting picking your ring. You will have to book appointment anyway in current climate so just tell them ballpark your spend + they will bring selection of rings on tray for her.

Also try a few jewellers as all different styles.

Good Luck!

UnBridled · 05-11-2020 5:20pm

Everyone is different OP. I would propose with a token ring just in case. It can be a pricy investment and not just that but very meaningful. It's a ring your fiancée wear for the rest of her life. My fiancée didn't propose with any ring. He just asked me to marry him and then we went ring shopping together. I knew the question was coming so had a look around myself beforehand. Going together to pick it out is a lovely experience. At the end of the day its up to you.

Good luck

Uncle Pierre · 05-11-2020 5:34pm

Locotastic wrote: »

Just on the platinum rings, mine is platinum and its a very dull metal (you can get them polished but I've never bothered).

On the other hand my wedding ring is a plain white gold band (cost about €100) and is as good as the day I got it.

For insurance over a certain amount a valuation is needed by the insurer, mine is valued at €5k and costs about €100 a year to insure, not a huge amount but over time it adds up and I never wear the ring so it just seems pointless.

The token ring mentioned is an excellent idea, plus she might really like it. The fact that you picked it for her is all that matters, price doesn't come into it.

I was going to weigh in here with the very opposite advice about platinum and white gold.

My wife and I (married 2009) both have white gold wedding rings, and her engagement ring is white gold too. They have to be polished or plated (or whatever the correct term is) every so often, at a cost of about €80 to €100 a pop. She's quite good at looking after hers, but mine hasn't been done for a good few years now, and it's dull as ditchwater. And I just sit at a desk all day (even when not on Boards!), so it's not as though I'm ruining it with heavy manual labour or anything.

But I've been involved since then in copywriting for websites, including for a jeweller who specialists in engagement and wedding rings, and her take on it is that platinum has become more and more popular in recent years because it holds its sheen better than white gold does.

Then again, the woman here with the platinum ring says different, so who am I to know!!!

As regards cost/insurance - my wife's engagement ring cost me a little over €2,000 at the time, and anything up to €2,500 is covered on our house insurance anyway, so no need to insure it separately at extra cost. If €2,500 (ish) sounds like enough for you, maybe check your own house insurance too, just to see.

Finally, I did the old-fahsioned thing of buying the "proper" ring myself when I proposed back in 2008, and apparently, even then I was very much in the minority as most couples go together for her to choose it. Luckily I picked one that she liked....and I know she's not just saying that, because we went back to the shop together anyway, "just in case", and she decided to keep it instead of changing it. But overall, maybe consider the token ring thing anyway, and then go together to buy the real one.

You don't have to spend much on a token ring. There's probably still a few Halloween bracks left in the shops at around €2 each, and you can get a ring there.....

UnBridled · 05-11-2020 6:35pm

My engagement ring is platinum and is very shiny. Now it's only about 3 months old and I am very careful with it, take it off in shower and things like that. I don't expect it to dull over time.

Pintman Paddy Losty · 05-11-2020 6:39pm

You need to be forking out at least 5k for a ring in my opinion. It's embarrassing for women who have to pretend they're happy with some tiny single diamond when they're friends have proper rocks.

I spent 17.5k for my missus back in 2004. Got her another sapphire worth similar for our 10 year anniversary.

Uncle Pierre · 05-11-2020 6:40pm

Good man Paddy. You've got deeper pockets than I do!

Teach30 · 05-11-2020 6:46pm

I went platinum as apparently it’s far more hard wearing than other metals, particularly important if your wearing it for manual tasks. It’s not overly shiny but then I wouldn’t want the metal to take from the diamonds!

My fiancé didn’t propose with a ring as I’m not into jewellery so after visiting quite a few jewellers I finally found a style that suited my hand. Some will try and sell you anything and be mindful of the lights they use in the room as it can be very deceptive. I asked to see them in daylight outside. Only in one store was this not possible so we left it.

We didn’t have a budget but don’t be afraid to combine your money if necessary. I personally don’t see why it has to be all the mans money! Once I found what I wanted, I spent about 2 months researching and visiting diff places, I brought my sister to see it and fiancé paid over the phone. In reality only those with a good eye for a quality diamond will ever have a true idea of the price so don’t worry about lower priced rings. Go with what you love. Cost 15.5k in the end and that was after bargaining.

I’d have no hesitation trading it in if I’m honest, so be mindful of this too as down the line styles change and she might want a change. I’d defiantly go bigger if changing..!

screamer · 05-11-2020 6:52pm

It’s a tricky one, some people are very materialistic and want ridiculous amounts spent on it so they can show off, other people are more modest or would rather that money went to a house deposit or something more useful. Spend what you can afford and what you feel comfortable with, and remember a big rock or a small one, doesn’t make you any more or less engaged.

saabsaab · 05-11-2020 6:53pm

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

You need to be forking out at least 5k for a ring in my opinion. It's embarrassing for women who have to pretend they're happy with some tiny single diamond when they're friends have proper rocks.

I spent 17.5k for my missus back in 2004. Got her another sapphire worth similar for our 10 year anniversary.

Grand if you want to but stay within a budget plenty other things to spend it on. If you need bling go for a a bigger alternative stone.

Teach30 · 05-11-2020 7:01pm

screamer wrote: »

It’s a tricky one, some people are very materialistic and want ridiculous amounts spent on it so they can show off, other people are more modest or would rather that money went to a house deposit or something more useful. Spend what you can afford and what you feel comfortable with, and remember a big rock or a small one, doesn’t make you any more or less engaged.

Yea I know a few with really tacky huge rings that obviously aren’t real. In reality though very few will recognise a quality diamond vs a fake.

If you have an interest in fine jewellery you can say It’s an investment as real, quality diamonds hold their value. It certainly didn’t put us debt but at the same time I’d have hated to pretend that something he chose I liked!

UnBridled · 05-11-2020 7:13pm

My ring cost almost 4 1/2K.
Never did I think I'd be charmed so much by the rings I tried. I remember saying things like "oh I don't care about diamonds or having a fancy ring". I wasn't long changing my mind when shopping for it. It is a very personal decision when it comes to how much you pay and isn't necessarily down to budget. For example if I fell in love with a ring half the price then that's what I'd have on my finger. I would have a line though when it comes to the max. Anything over 5k is ludicrous in my mind but that's me.

saabsaab · 05-11-2020 7:24pm

Diamonds aren't at all rare. They are made from carbon a common element. The market is kept in check by a few companies who control it they have little intrinsic value.

05-11-2020 7:44pm

Buy a white sapphire ring, and save to upgrade to a diamond on your 10th Wedding Anniversary!

Ste16051986 · 05-11-2020 8:00pm

I'm in a similar position at the moment, I have set a budget that the ring needs to fall into and I am going from there.
In terms of jewelers, it's harder to decide without seeing the actual ring in person so I am looking to see if I can arrange some private appointments.

Have you considered where you will buy the ring?

Also some good info shared on insurance, this is not something I thought off.

Kmagic · 05-11-2020 8:14pm

I had the opportunity with https://www.theschoolofjewellery.ie/ to make my engagement ring.

Was easy enough to do over a 2 day weekend. They ran a course at the time and I dont see it listed now but they may do a one off type thing if you ask. Could negotiate something with them.

The money spent wont matter when you make it yourself.

NewClareman · 05-11-2020 8:34pm

Luca G wrote: »

Thanks for the advice, my girlfriend is the same she would say it's to expensive. I was looking at platinum rings

I wouldn't know much about the insurance now how much would that be do you pay for it each month ? Or pit a set price down?

I would say pay what you can afford, but err a bit on the generous side. It is telling her how much you care about her. No matter what she says, she wouldn't prefer a car. That's only us men, being sensible.

There are lots of guides online on buying rings, that give very helpful advice. I looked up prices online I think it was BlueNile, and used the price to negotiate with a local jeweller. He tried to tell me they were poorer quality and talk them down. He stoped, once he realised I knew my stuff. They will all negotiate, particularly for more expensive rings. If he hadn't I would have bought in the diamond district in New York.

We both have platinum rings, they get very dull, if not polished every 2-3 years. I quite like the colour, as it ages, think pewter. The other half would not be happy with that. Overall there is a significant premium with platinum. As a minimum, the engagement ring and wedding band have to be the same metal.

Luca G · 06-11-2020 12:23pm

screamer wrote: »

It’s a tricky one, some people are very materialistic and want ridiculous amounts spent on it so they can show off, other people are more modest or would rather that money went to a house deposit or something more useful. Spend what you can afford and what you feel comfortable with, and remember a big rock or a small one, doesn’t make you any more or less engaged.

Yeah my girlfriend isnt one of those who show off and would want to spend it on house deposit or something .
Thanks for your advice.

3DataModem · 06-11-2020 12:27pm

Have a look at some of the antique and jewellry shops in town. Some beautiful rings with character... amazing what they used to be able to do wirth 0.5 carats. Might get away with a couple of grand or three.

For examples:

https://weldons.ie/shop/diamond-solitaire-ring/

https://weldons.ie/shop/oval-diamond-engagement-ring-2/

Luca G · 06-11-2020 12:34pm

I think a token ring is the way to go as I am looking at spending around 5k but I think it would be good idea if she goes and looks at rings aswell as I would be stuck with a 5k ring then. As long as she happy I'm happy.

Only thing putting me off a token ring is they wouldn't put a surprise on your face when you propose compared to a big shiny diamond .

I think its definitely worth insurance what would th eff insurance be on a 5k ring do you get it from the same place you buy the ring ?

woodchuck · 06-11-2020 12:38pm

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

You need to be forking out at least 5k for a ring in my opinion. It's embarrassing for women who have to pretend they're happy with some tiny single diamond when they're friends have proper rocks.

I'm sorry, but that's a ridiculous thing to say. I tried on a lot of rings, from the cheap to the outrageously expensive. The larger more expensive ones looked terrible on my hand. Like costume jewellery! They just didn't suit me at all.

I ended up with a small solitaire, because that's what I love and it suits my hand perfectly. I certainly don't feel embarrassed by the size/cost!

People should choose what they like within their budget. They shouldn't be spending as much money as possible just for the sake of it.

Uncle Pierre · 06-11-2020 1:15pm

Luca G wrote: »

what would th eff insurance be on a 5k ring do you get it from the same place you buy the ring ?

Jewellers sell a lot of things, but they don't sell insurance.

You'd be adding it as a specified item on your ordinary house insurance, if the value is above whatever threshold is covered as standard. As I stated previously, the threshold is €2,500 on our own insurance and the ring is valued at just under that, so we're covered that way. A side issue is that given the figures that other people are bandying about, I'm looking more and more like a cheapskate....

As for what it might cost....think somebody else above said that annual insurance on her €5,000 ring is in the region of €100?

1hnr79jr65 · 06-11-2020 3:17pm

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

You need to be forking out at least 5k for a ring in my opinion. It's embarrassing for women who have to pretend they're happy with some tiny single diamond when they're friends have proper rocks.

That line is such a crock of bull its unreal, not every woman cares about the cost value of a ring. To most women the personal value of what the ring represents has more meaning.

At the time my wife and I were saving for deposit on house, that was the priority for us, I got a really nice ring with rose, yellow and white gold with a single diamond for around €750 and my wife loved it.

Op, you don't need to break the bank on rings, no more than someone needs to take an extra loan for a wedding. Buy what you are comfortable spending as there is a lot of life stuff later on down the road.

Xtrail14 · 06-11-2020 10:40pm

Not nice to be picking on Paddy just because others are living on the rock and roll.

jlm29 · 07-11-2020 12:17am

If insuring on your house insurance just be sure to check what’s actually covered. Some policies cover you for more than others.

CivilCybil · 07-11-2020 2:17pm

The answer is whatever you can afford OP. And I'd go the route of token ring and then discuss a budget and let her be involved in picking her ring.

I don't like the idea of a diamond so got a sapphire and moissanite engagement ring. It was ~900euro.
I love it. And because it wasn't insanely priced I'm not worried about losing it or it getting bashed. I never take it off.
Best of luck OP

07-11-2020 2:23pm

CivilCybil wrote: »

The answer is whatever you can afford OP. And I'd go the route of token ring and then discuss a budget and let her be involved in picking her ring.

I don't like the idea of a diamond so got a sapphire and moissanite engagement ring

Good point! Make sure your other half actually wants a diamond! You've reminded me of a work colleague from years ago who thought it would be romantic to surprise his girfriend with a diamond ring. Naturally, the poor guy bought a diamond, when it turned out she wanted a sapphire ring. Luckily, he was allowed to return it and they ended up getting a ring made that his girlfriend designed herself.

witchgirl26 · 09-11-2020 11:06am

3DataModem wrote: »

Have a look at some of the antique and jewellry shops in town. Some beautiful rings with character... amazing what they used to be able to do wirth 0.5 carats. Might get away with a couple of grand or three.

For examples:

https://weldons.ie/shop/diamond-solitaire-ring/

https://weldons.ie/shop/oval-diamond-engagement-ring-2/

I got my ring in Weldons & I love it but don't assume that antique equals lower cost. Mine was about the same price as other places we were looking but I just fell in love with it because it was a bit more unique. The one thing with antique places though is there might be wiggle room on the price.

Luca G wrote: »

Only thing putting me off a token ring is they wouldn't put a surprise on your face when you propose compared to a big shiny diamond .

Speaking as someone who was proposed to with a token ring that has a ruby instead of a diamond, the surprise on my face wasn't anything to do with the stone & more to do with the ring being there & the proposal.

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

You need to be forking out at least 5k for a ring in my opinion. It's embarrassing for women who have to pretend they're happy with some tiny single diamond when they're friends have proper rocks.

I have a small enough single diamond (ok there are 2 smaller baguette diamonds either side of it) and I love it. I'm not pretending - hell I picked it myself! In fact my OH wanted me to go for a bigger stone but it just didn't suit me at all when I tried them on. I think it's more important to get a ring you love as opposed to just getting a big rock. Plus I wouldn't have been happy wearing a massively expensive ring every day - I'd be bloody paranoid about it all the time!

antiskeptic · 09-11-2020 9:36pm

as_mo_bhosca wrote: »

I think it depends on what you can afford. Do not listen to rubbish about 2/3 months salary. This is just a marketing campaign from De Beers diamonds and frankly would be a ridiculous amount of money to spend on a ring. My gf drives a car currently worth about 5k, if I spent 10-15k on a ring, I think she'd prefer a newer car!
ETA: diamond industry/fecking eejits say I should spend 10-15k on a ring. I just spent a little over 1800 on a half carat diamond set in an 18 carat gold solitaire setting. IMHO opinion, and hers more importantly, it's all about the sparkle of the diamond!

The whole notion of a) a diamond having value b) being set in an engagement ring is a marketing campaign of De Beers!

Along the lines of "Happiness is a cigar called Hamlet"

Whether you spend a weeks salary or 2-3 months salary makes no odds.

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/1982/02/have-you-ever-tried-to-sell-a-diamond/304575/

as_mo_bhosca · 10-11-2020 1:17am

antiskeptic wrote: »

The whole notion of a) a diamond having value b) being set in an engagement ring is a marketing campaign of De Beers!

Along the lines of "Happiness is a cigar called Hamlet"

Whether you spend a weeks salary or 2-3 months salary makes no odds.

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/1982/02/have-you-ever-tried-to-sell-a-diamond/304575/

I totally agree with this. They really have no real value outside of the marketing. But you try telling that to a woman who has her heart set on a diamond!

antiskeptic · 10-11-2020 6:26pm

as_mo_bhosca wrote: »

I totally agree with this. They really have no real value outside of the marketing. But you try telling that to a woman who has her heart set on a diamond!

I suppose telling her, whilst on bended knee, that you're sorry that your token of love has dropped 50% in value in the few days since you bought it, would ruin the moment.

Like, it's even worse than buying a new car. And that's bad enough.

Tricky one that: signing up to be a shill for De Beers vs. disappointing a brainwashed beloved.

as_mo_bhosca · 10-11-2020 8:44pm

antiskeptic wrote: »

I suppose telling her, whilst on bended knee, that you're sorry that your token of love has dropped 50% in value in the few days since you bought it, would ruin the moment.

Like, it's even worse than buying a new car. And that's bad enough.

Tricky one that: signing up to be a shill for De Beers vs. disappointing a brainwashed beloved.

Tell me about it! Luckily she's worth losing the money on! Knowing exactly how the diamond
myth was created v knowing that she really has her heart set on a real diamond is a tough one to bear. Luckily she hasn't bought into the 2/3 months salary rubbish, or like a poster here, a minimum of 5k. If all a couple can afford is a cheap ring then so be it. If she throws it back in your face then you've probably had a luck escape.
I always wonder how into expensive rings women would be if there was the expectation to turn around and spend the same amount on a man in return. Maybe some women do, but I've never heard of guy being bought a motorbike /big screen TV /car in return!

Teach30 · 10-11-2020 9:48pm

as_mo_bhosca wrote: »

If she throws it back in your face then you've probably had a luck escape.
I always wonder how into expensive rings women would be if there was the expectation to turn around and spend the same amount on a man in return. Maybe some women do, but I've never heard of guy being bought a motorbike /big screen TV /car in return!

If I was presented with a less expensive option I’d have taken it back. No point pretending to like it an engagement shouldn’t be based on a lie because you were too afraid to tell it straight. If your getting engaged you’d surely know when the other person is into anyways. The “personal value” as someone else described it, wouldn’t come into it for me.

On the whole idea of women giving the man something, call me old fashioned but if I’m throwing out a couple of kids I want something sparkly to distract me from the pain of it. (Yes I know this doesn’t apply to every situation) just my take...

as_mo_bhosca · 10-11-2020 10:12pm

Teach30 wrote: »

If I was presented with a less expensive option I’d have taken it back. No point pretending to like it an engagement shouldn’t be based on a lie because you were too afraid to tell it straight. If your getting engaged you’d surely know when the other person is into anyways. The “personal value” as someone else described it, wouldn’t come into it for me.

On the whole idea of women giving the man something, call me old fashioned but if I’m throwing out a couple of kids I want something sparkly to distract me from the pain of it. (Yes I know this doesn’t apply to every situation) just my take...

Or your give! ðŸ˜‚

eviltwin · 10-11-2020 10:26pm

Teach30 wrote: »

If I was presented with a less expensive option I’d have taken it back. No point pretending to like it an engagement shouldn’t be based on a lie because you were too afraid to tell it straight. If your getting engaged you’d surely know when the other person is into anyways. The “personal value” as someone else described it, wouldn’t come into it for me.

On the whole idea of women giving the man something, call me old fashioned but if I’m throwing out a couple of kids I want something sparkly to distract me from the pain of it. (Yes I know this doesn’t apply to every situation) just my take...

That’s pretty awful. I think it’s the behaviour and the love that matters in a marriage not the tiny trinkets. Honestly that nice bit of bling should not be a priority. I don’t have an engagement ring at all but I’ve been with my husband 25 years next March and it’s not the gifts he’s given me that matters. He doesn’t love me any less because of it. When you have kids it will be his support and practical help that you’ll need not a shiny ring.

1hnr79jr65 · 10-11-2020 10:34pm

Teach30 wrote: »

If I was presented with a less expensive option I’d have taken it back. No point pretending to like it an engagement shouldn’t be based on a lie because you were too afraid to tell it straight. If your getting engaged you’d surely know when the other person is into anyways. The “personal value” as someone else described it, wouldn’t come into it for me.

On the whole idea of women giving the man something, call me old fashioned but if I’m throwing out a couple of kids I want something sparkly to distract me from the pain of it. (Yes I know this doesn’t apply to every situation) just my take...

If personal value means nothing to you, does that mean you only see a partner for their financial value, a personal banking atm?

And on the kids thing, if you were not able to have kids should your partner value you less as you not able to bear offspring and be entitled to his ring back in that case as this seems to be all transaction based from your perspective ?

screamer · 10-11-2020 10:43pm

Teach30 wrote: »

On the whole idea of women giving the man something, call me old fashioned but if I’m throwing out a couple of kids I want something sparkly to distract me from the pain of it. (Yes I know this doesn’t apply to every situation) just my take...

Trust me, when you’re “throwing out a couple of kid”, it’s not your sparkly ring that’ll be distracting you, more like a ring of fire burning into your memory for eternity.

Engagement Ring

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