Is this bullying? What would you do?

Qwertyminger · 19-01-2021 8:32pm

I would publish the video 100%. If you don't want people to put videos of you being an absolute tosser on the Internet, don't come onto their property and act the git. Soften her cough.

TippMammy · 19-01-2021 9:09pm

Qwertyminger wrote: »

I would publish the video 100%. If you don't want people to put videos of you being an absolute tosser on the Internet, don't come onto their property and act the git. Soften her cough.

I would love to but this is going on months and I've refrained from sharing with anyone outside this house other than a partial part of one I showed to the Garda.
I haven't even sent them to the landlord. She made some pretty disgraceful comments but I don't want to lower myself to anything that will bring notice and drama. I haven't shared with neighbours that are nice. We both just have said she can be hard to deal with and we all know what it means. I could have reported about horses but she has kids too and while I could say they broke the control laws on horses 18 times in a three month period that's not what I want to bring on any family. She has had these episodes infront of her kids and mine, I just get so embarrassed.
I got a nice piece of advice too that I can direct the dog warden to the community garda so that should stop him having to visit which is a lovely relief! Thank you for all the messages giving great advice.
Now I just have to figure out getting the bins out and in when she's not looking.. Any tips on making wheely bins silent lol

tea and coffee · 19-01-2021 10:31pm

You need to ignore her or stand up to her. She's allow destroy stuff and make your life a misery so you're terrified to even make noise with the bins, but she's on you like a tonne of bricks over bullsh1t made up stuff? Stop letting her walk all over you.
Ignore her rants except to record them.
I had a neighbour like that- kept his place like a tip but moaned we had 3 cars on the road instead of 2. Moaned I had a dog roaming into his garden when his dog used to make people so afraid that they wouldn't visit my house or his.
A friend of my late parents came up to the house one day and his dog nipped her. She was terrified and very upset.
He came up ranting and raving that she shouldn't have parked outside my house etc.
I told him how dare he. Get out of my garden. It was his dog was the issue.
Off he went and he never mentioned it again.

These people are not used to people standing up to their erratic behaviour. In the same way you might be afraid of a stray dog as you don't know it's next move, that's how they work.
You stand up tall, walk confidently past, And pay the dog no heed.

ILoveYourVibes · 20-01-2021 9:36am

TheBoyConor wrote: »

Just act like she doesn't exist.

This is not realistically possible.

In case you didn't read ...they allowed a horse roam on her garden .....presumably it was startled as she says it nearly hit her son.

They have wrecked her garden and she has the woman banging on her door.

bertiebomber · 20-01-2021 11:18am

this woman is just a hater & yes a bully and a real karen - its very hard to get a rental with a dog or two i know and very often you have to take a second grade house but to be honest i would start looking as this is not good for you to live in a type of fear of "what next". Life i s too short for this type of sh1t

Eventually she might say your dogs bit her or something like that just for spite be very careful of the dogs she is capable of poisoning them id put them in the house at night for sure if they were mine.

As to the horse if the horse wanders onto the road and causes an accident the real owner will be in big trouble not your problem. But if its on your lawn and your gate is open just be careful.

>SNIP<

AndrewJRenko · 20-01-2021 1:24pm

Qwertyminger wrote: »

I would publish the video 100%. If you don't want people to put videos of you being an absolute tosser on the Internet, don't come onto their property and act the git. Soften her cough.

Publishing widely could lead to some difficult questions about data protection and GDPR. An alternative would be to share video privately with school principal or Chairperson.

Either way, it would definitely be an escalation, so be prepared for her to escalate in return.

Emme · 20-01-2021 3:49pm

bertiebomber wrote: »

Eventually she might say your dogs bit her or something like that just for spite be very careful of the dogs she is capable of poisoning them id put them in the house at night for sure if they were mine.

I agree with that OP, bring your dogs in at night for their own safety. You are dealing with a lunatic.

Do not put any recorded material of her or anything pertaining to her online or anywhere else in the public domain. Reserve relevant recordings for the gardai, the letting agency, the landlord, the dog warden etc. where necessary. If you make any recordings of her public you lower yourself to her level and invalidate your entire case straight away.

Is there a neighbourhood watch scheme in your area? Sign up as long as you don't have to go through Karen or her cronies to do so.

TippMammy · 21-01-2021 12:51pm

There is a nieghbourhood group but I want to avoid it. There is a large family presence surrounding the area and I just want ways to help it die down, not flair it up in any way. An example is yesterday I had a large thin tube in bin (it was left over from a Christmas delivery) so while bin was not filled over capacity it was standing out of the top. She was out on front road talking loudly about why bin weights are needed thanks to people like this. It's so cringey and ridiculous. Now that's easy to ignore but it's just an example of what goes on between the bigger screaming sessions. I'm now also waiting to hear from the bin company about over filling bin. I've learned this is what comes From tiny tiny things. I know she's most likely to ring and complain the rules are bin must be closed and why did next door get away with it etc.

If you thought my first explanation was long, the list of crazy things that's happening is full of things you couldn't imagine!!

21-01-2021 1:06pm

Her actions have shown that this is not going to die down - in fact, I daresay that unchallenged she's going to grow bolder.

If the bin company contact you, ask them to put her complaint in writing to you - present this to the guards you've been dealing with as further proof of harassment.

Hannibal_Smith · 21-01-2021 1:10pm

It is ridiculous, but you cant let it get to you. What shes saying can only upset you if you add value to it. There is no value to it, shes out to wind you up.

Instead of looking at it as waiting for the phone to ring on the back of another complaint, think of it as - if the phone does ring and its the bin company take a note of the name of the person ringing, time and date of the call and a brief note on what was said. Add it to your diary of events.

Its not going to stop overnight. It will take time for her to realise she is not going to win so you have to persevere in ignoring her and in keeping records.

Car99 · 21-01-2021 1:38pm

if your phone got lost and all those videos ended up on youtube, tktok , streamable what would happen?

Jequ0n · 21-01-2021 2:03pm

You do realise that she is actually doing you a favour by acting this way in public? Sure people won’t won’t to get involved but you can be sure that they talk.

I bet she is far from being seen as the “pillar of the community” by her direct neighbours.

Count yourself lucky that she is too stupid/ deranged to know how to bully you in more subtle ways

wiggle16 · 21-01-2021 4:33pm

Jequ0n wrote: »

You do realise that she is actually doing you a favour by acting this way in public? Sure people won’t won’t to get involved but you can be sure that they talk.

I bet she is far from being seen as the “pillar of the community” by her direct neighbours.

Count yourself lucky that she is too stupid/ deranged to know how to bully you in more subtle ways

I would be inclined to agree with this - as difficult as it is to stomach, she is only undermining herself by talking to others about you. People in the area absolutely know what she is like, your arrival definitely did not precipitate this behaviour out of nowhere so I doubt anyone is taking anything she's saying about you seriously.

ILoveYourVibes · 22-01-2021 5:44am

Jequ0n wrote: »

I bet she is far from being seen as the “pillar of the community” by her direct neighbours.

I can see the logic in your statement. I hope you are right.

The thing is ...if its a small community in rural Ireland ....and she has family in the area ....its not that they will see her as a pillar of the community as such. Its just ....her family and their friends will take her side because ....they feel they have to.

I hope you are right though and 'old ireland' has moved on.

I really hope i am wrong. But i have seen people stand by unacceptable behavior or let it go ...because the da was a big wheel in the town.

And the op mentioned a brother etc.

I hope i am wrong though and you are right.

Optimalprimerib · 22-01-2021 6:33am

Is she your only neighbour, could you talk to the other neighbours about her, maybe if they know how she is acting, and she is such a pillar of the community, she could soften her cough.

Let them know that you have recordings of her and get those recordings onto a cloud or external source away from your house asap. I cannot imagine the lengths she would go to to win.

Honestly, tiger king has nothing on this. Netflix could grant you a big pay day for documentary rights on this.

Lantus · 22-01-2021 7:09am

Horses have fairly well laid out laws regarding their control and owners are legally responsible for all damage they cause to any property. You need to get reporting this asap.

TippMammy · 16-02-2021 2:25pm

Small update for any curious. I gave 7 days ignoring her and if I saw her outside I went in.
This seemed to have spurred her more and she actively walked her two dogs on a lead into the front lawn to poop three times a day.
I changed tact and starting giving a huge smile and a wave every chance I got. Didn't hang around after but I went manic with my smiling face! Today her brother pulled over on the road while we were walking and gave us a welcome gift?!?! Must be poisoned surely lol. I introduced my family and made polite small talk and he went off again. My husband thinks I've unnerved everyone with my smiling and crazy waves but next door is the one running off when she sees me now! Amazing!! Long may it last. Kill 'em with kindness or look mad as hatter?!