Worst work event

bear1 · 25-09-2019 1:27pm #1

so following on from the worst scandals at work thread, it got me thinking about past company parties which were an utter disaster for those involved or random workers

Guy in my previous company worked alongside his wife.
We had a integration party but she didn't attend but he did.
Fast forward the evening and an open bar is opened for us all after the usual crappy quizzes etc are completed and everyone is knocking back drinks and dancing.
Later on in the evening and one of the guys is heading to the jacks and opens one of the stalls to find the husband getting a bj from one of the girls in the company who was friends with the wife.
Said girl ends up getting pregnant but tight lipped on who the father was even though the rumours were already deep into everyone's mind.
Wife never found out amazingly and he and the lover quit soon after.

Another lad on the same night drank way way too much and stumbled over to the management table, proceeded in puking his lungs out on their table and then fell asleep in his vomit on the table.
He had to be picked up and brought home.

So.. who else?

Mickeroo · 25-09-2019 1:30pm

You can get pregnant from BJs?:eek::eek:

bear1 · 25-09-2019 1:31pm

I assume it didn't end there

probably ended in the other part of her body.

randd1 · 25-09-2019 1:34pm

The worst work event?

A funeral. Everyone was sad.

bear1 · 25-09-2019 1:35pm

bear1 wrote: »

so following on from the worst scandals at work thread, it got me thinking about past company parties which were an utter disaster for those involved or random workers

Guy in my previous company worked alongside his wife.
We had a integration party but she didn't attend but he did.
Fast forward the evening and an open bar is opened for us all after the usual crappy quizzes etc are completed and everyone is knocking back drinks and dancing.
Later on in the evening and one of the guys is heading to the jacks and opens one of the stalls to find the husband getting a bj from one of the girls in the company who was friends with the wife.
Said girl ends up getting pregnant but tight lipped on who the father was even though the rumours were already deep into everyone's mind.
Wife never found out amazingly and he and the lover quit soon after.

Another lad on the same night drank way way too much and stumbled over to the management table, proceeded in puking his lungs out on their table and then fell asleep in his vomit on the table.
He had to be picked up and brought home.

So.. who else?

Just to poke fun at my own choice of words.

freshpopcorn · 25-09-2019 1:44pm

We had a table quiz in a pub before and I had this really bright one on my team.
She rarely went out and drank loads of cocktails and she puked on the table. That was the end of the table quiz.

25-09-2019 1:46pm

Mickeroo wrote: »

You can get pregnant from BJs?:eek::eek:

Only if you swallow

Cee-Jay-Cee · 25-09-2019 1:49pm

Mickeroo wrote: »

You can get pregnant from BJs?:eek::eek:

She licked her fingers and wiped her front bum....obviously.

TheValeyard · 25-09-2019 1:53pm

Sperm invented transporter technology

uch · 25-09-2019 4:36pm

I went to a work party once and fell asleep, when I woke up all the cúnts had fecked off and left, when I was leaving I spotted a Gift bag and thought the nice thing to do was bring it with me and then into work the next day, it never dawned on me to look in the bag, I got home and left it on kitchen table for the next morning, the missus came down during the night for a cuppa and looked in the bag, there was a pair of Scaldy stained knickers and a Bra that you could fit Andre the Giants head in twice. She nearly battered me until I explained.

Gregor Samsa · 25-09-2019 5:06pm

Worked in this place with this crazy CTO (a company that was far too small to have a CTO, but this was the early 2000s). He'd work for four days straight (though the night and all), then just disappear for two days to a local pub and go on a bender. Bosses would have to go looking for him for client meetings.

We had a Christmas party somewhere in rural Wicklow. About 7 pm, the GM of the company was sitting beside the CTO at the meal, and said that he was going to keep up with him drink for drink. CTO basically said "No, seriously, don't even try. It won't end well." and actually meant it, but of course GM said "Challenge accepted!".

I have a photo of the two of them from 8.30 pm. GM is completely unconscious on the table (with the meal still going on around him), CTO is smiling away. GM had to be carried to bed by 4 people soon after.

We left the party around 3 AM. CTO was heading to the resident's bar on his own at this stage.

Next morning, we get up to head home. GM is obviously dying, no surprise there. But there's no sign of CTO. We assume he's dying in his room, so we leave him and head off.

Next Monday we're all back in the office, GM is obviously somewhat sheepish, but there's no sign of CTO. He doesn't turn up all week, doesn't answer his phone. Sometime the next week, he rocks in to the office as if nothing happened.

Turns out the resident's bar closed at 6 am, so he decided to get a taxi to Wexford. I think there was an early house there at the time (or at least he thought there was). He then spent the full week there AWOL on a complete bender. I'm not sure if he even took his bag from the xmas party hotel, but even if he did, he would only have had clothes for an overnight stay. No repercussions of any kind for his absence, just him being him. Needless to say, the company didn't last long.

Quantum Erasure · 25-09-2019 7:08pm

there was this one time i had to get up at 6 am to be in for 7, worked all day, got home, only to have to do the same the next day, and the next...

odyssey06 · 25-09-2019 7:18pm

Gregor Samsa wrote: »

Turns out the resident's bar closed at 6 am, so he decided to get a taxi to Wexford. I think there was an early house there at the time (or at least he thought there was). He then spent the full week there AWOL on a complete bender. I'm not sure if he even took his bag from the xmas party hotel, but even if he did, he would only have had clothes for an overnight stay. No repercussions of any kind for his absence, just him being him. Needless to say, the company didn't last long.

Worst? Sounds legendary! If you can ignore the sign post on the way to the demise of the company...

Wanderer2010 · 25-09-2019 7:27pm

Work Christmas party. Uttery contrived forced fun and awkward interaction. At the start of my career I used to go to a few, and spend the days before absolutely dreading it and just endured them. Trying to socialise with your workmates comes with such a huge number of unspoken rules that its not worth the effort in my view. I particularly hate the idea that just because its the festive season, you should somehow put aside your opinion of someone and get on with it for a few hours of drinking and meals.
I never go to them these days and im delighted for it.

JupiterKid · 25-09-2019 7:30pm

A Christmas party in Blake’s on the Swords Road (remember that place?) in a place I worked part-time whilst doing my Masters in the late 1990s. The boss (super tight fecker and shyster that he was) told us we could get two drinks each “on him,” two co-workers later decided to have a drink-fueled blazing row over commission that was due to them and it went to a full scale brawl before the Gardai were called and we were all kicked out of the place.

Was pretty glad to chuck that job in a few months afterwards, but not because of the awful Xmas party.

Work social events are generally a bad bad idea, from experience.

odyssey06 · 25-09-2019 7:31pm

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

Work Christmas party. Uttery contrived forced fun and awkward interaction...

Oh that reminds me of the time my company thought it would be great craic to have assigned random seatings at the christmas dinner. Supposed to be a way to meet people from the company you don't normally interact with... cue many awkward small talk conversations.

And then there's the entertainment disasters. The Shirley Temple Bar & Friends show. The drunken comedian who used to be on RTE pretending to be a dodgy waiter. The hypnotist everyone scrambled to avoid.

25-09-2019 8:31pm

bear1 wrote: »

I assume it didn't end there probably ended in the other part of her body.

sat on the toilet seat

razorblunt · 25-09-2019 8:58pm

The last place I worked had a bunch of of gowls organising the parties, the summer BBQ was an absolute shît show like it was cobbled together on a Thursday morning for that evening. They had a budget and no money was returned, someone asked for receipts to see what was spent. None were provided, 2 of the organisers left the company soon after, quietly.

Their Xmas party before that had an open barm my team rocked up, were told we had to pay after ordering a round at the bar, asked if the organisers had a tab, said stick it on that and give the round to them. When questioned they told us “we only said it was an open bar as we knew folk wouldn’t come otherwise”. My team left and just had our own few drinks in a quiet pub. What a dose they were.

whiskeyman · 25-09-2019 9:42pm

Halloween ball.
Tables of free wine.
Young call centre staff drink too much not being used to free booze (during downturn when free bars weren't heard of).
Cue a few drunk new staff throwing punches at their line managers. I guess you could call it honest feedback sessions.
A few had to be carried out literally kicking and screaming.
No free drink events after that!

touts · 25-09-2019 9:49pm

Team building activity weekend away. People not particularly pleased with having to give up their weekend but it was also a sort of bootcamp in a hostel in the middle of ****ing nowhere type thing. A boozey final night saw most people either fighting or bitching about the company/workmates/management etc. Throw in a handful of one night stands with all the morning after akwardness over breakfast. Within 3 months more than half the team had left. Didn't do any more team building events.

L1011 · 25-09-2019 9:50pm

A Christmas Party where they'd basically forgotten to budget for it, or book it for that matter; so we ended up on a weeknight (late start given to everyone the next day) in The Vaults with a team from one of the banks in the next vault over, which really made it quite a bit worse:

One of the bankers was trying to actually force people to tip the guy selling perfume in the jacks (and I may have quite seriously injured said bankers foot he tried to stop the door on me with; but he didn't complain. Much.)

One of my colleagues was chatting up one of the weekend staff, lovely shy Indian girl. He goes to the toilets and we don't see him for a bit, until I find him eating the face off and hands everywhere with one of the bank women.

On my own companies side of it, we got the worst made Christmas dinner ever and TWO drinks tokens. CEO got quite annoyed with how crap it was and was buying drink for anyone near him every time he went to the bar, until he eventually stormed off after shouting at the HR woman who'd booked it.

The next year, they seemed to find where they'd shoved the budget from this one as well as that years one because they booked out an entire sodding hotel, free booze stopped about 2 and the residents bar went til about 5; spot prizes (won €200) during the dinner etc etc.

BDI · 25-09-2019 10:02pm

Brought to Galway before as a young apprentice. Gang of us in a room, woke up to find bags of sugar had been smashed all over the place and all the lads had ran off. Cleaner made me clean it up.

The boss rang me an hour later when he heard I was the only one still there to have a few pints.
Had a day of drinking and the busman wouldn’t let me on the last bus home.

Had to pull all sorts of strings to get them to take my mothers credit card over the phone to let me stay there again another night.
Boss had disappeared.
Just starved all the way home the next morning on the bus missing work. Not a penny. Had to walk to 5 miles from busaras when I landed there.

Cried and got emotional whenI finally got into bed.

All the lads in work thought I was a legend whenI turned up a day late after the Christmas party weekend with the wild story except the boss.

bear1 · 26-09-2019 8:00am

L1011 wrote: »

A Christmas Party where they'd basically forgotten to budget for it, or book it for that matter; so we ended up on a weeknight (late start given to everyone the next day) in The Vaults with a team from one of the banks in the next vault over, which really made it quite a bit worse:

One of the bankers was trying to actually force people to tip the guy selling perfume in the jacks (and I may have quite seriously injured said bankers foot he tried to stop the door on me with; but he didn't complain. Much.)

One of my colleagues was chatting up one of the weekend staff, lovely shy Indian girl. He goes to the toilets and we don't see him for a bit, until I find him eating the face off and hands everywhere with one of the bank women.

On my own companies side of it, we got the worst made Christmas dinner ever and TWO drinks tokens. CEO got quite annoyed with how crap it was and was buying drink for anyone near him every time he went to the bar, until he eventually stormed off after shouting at the HR woman who'd booked it.

The next year, they seemed to find where they'd shoved the budget from this one as well as that years one because they booked out an entire sodding hotel, free booze stopped about 2 and the residents bar went til about 5; spot prizes (won €200) during the dinner etc etc.

Reminds me that in the current place I'm in they decided to throw our Christmas party at the end of June and wanted each employee to contribute 20 towards it otherwise there wouldn't be any event.
As tight as a badgers arse the place is.

Wanderer78 · 26-09-2019 8:06am

Jesus, all company bashes are dreadfully boring and depressing affairs, no wonder I gave them up years ago

bear1 · 26-09-2019 8:08am

Wanderer78 wrote: »

Jesus, all company bashes are dreadfully boring and depressing affairs, no wonder I gave them up years ago

What I've noticed is that the younger crowd think they are mad craic cause of the drinking. I'm in my early 30s and think it's just the same **** everytime and the feeling of dread going to work the day after.

Wanderer78 · 26-09-2019 8:14am

bear1 wrote:

What I've noticed is that the younger crowd think they are mad craic cause of the drinking. I'm in my early 30s and think it's just the same **** everytime and the feeling of dread going to work the day after.

Hated them in my twenties, hate them even more now, and it sounds like they're all similarly depressing, filled with depressed 'adults' that seriously let themselves down tanked with alcohol

Samuel T. Cogley · 26-09-2019 8:14am

Is this not just the same as the other thread?

bear1 · 26-09-2019 8:15am

Samuel T. Cogley wrote: »

Is this not just the same as the other thread?

Worst company party to biggest scandal at work seems somewhat different to me.

Bob Harris · 26-09-2019 8:40am

bear1 wrote: »

Reminds me that in the current place I'm in they decided to throw our Christmas party at the end of June and wanted each employee to contribute 20 towards it otherwise there wouldn't be any event.
As tight as a badgers arse the place is.

And rough too!

Gregor Samsa · 26-09-2019 8:49am

Our company flew all the European offices out to Cologne one time for the Christmas party. It was an absolutely brilliant night, but we had a 7.30 am flight from Bonn (or Dusseldorf, I cant remember) the next day, so we were being picked up by coach at 4. When we got to the airport it was apparent some people were missing. They were Customer Service agents in the Irish office from various countries. Turns out they’d slept-in (obviously), but they wanted the company to pay for them getting home after they’d missed their flights. Company said no, it’s your fault. They ended up having to get a train to Amsterdam, flights to Dublin, then train across to the west of Ireland. Plus they all missed their next shift in the call center, so got a bollocking from their boss. But they still couldn’t understand why this was all their fault.

BBDBB · 26-09-2019 8:58am

A high performing subsidiary of the company I used to work for spent 12 months of the year pushing the teams from different branches to hit ever increasing targets, they instilled a fierce sense of competition and rewarded only the winners, humiliating the losers on occasion too. This led to disputes and arguments over territory and who was due the sale/commission.

Come the Christmas Party, a free bar led to the usual vomit and tears and a massive brawl in the hotel, the police were called, arrests made and assault charges made (subsequently dropped)

The following year there was just as much competition but no Christmas party, not sure they'd learned the right lesson

Hector Savage · 26-09-2019 9:01am

bear1 wrote: »

I assume it didn't end there probably ended in the other part of her body.

You should apply to be a detective.

bear1 · 26-09-2019 11:24am

Hector Savage wrote: »

You should apply to be a detective.

Funny enough I'm in the investigative department of a financial institution.

nullzero · 26-09-2019 11:26am

Any meeting where there are too many people in the room and you start to fall asleep from the lack of oxygen,that and the boredom of being at a meeting.

Bob Harris · 26-09-2019 11:35am

bear1 wrote: »

I assume it didn't end there probably ended in the other part of her body.

Hector Savage wrote: »

You should apply to be a detective.

Sounds like hard evidence.

keano_afc · 26-09-2019 11:50am

1999, the last time my company gave free drink at their Christmas party. In no particular order:

Young intern was hammered on free wine by 8pm. Went to the CIO to tell him how he appreciated the opportunity he was given and puked all over his shoes while talking to him.

Executive PA (married) was dancing with some young lad who chanced his arm and threw the lips on her. Cue the lights coming on as the music ended and everyone staring at them. She runs off ashamed and he strolls over to the lads chuffed with himself.

2 lads on the way home decided to pick a fight with a homeless guy. One of them ends up in hospital and the other has a couple of teeth knocked out.

The following year the party was split into individual departments.

Keyzer · 26-09-2019 11:51am

Most these stories revolve around alcohol, we really do have a terrible relationship with the sauce in this country...

poisonated · 29-09-2019 11:47pm

Gregor Samsa wrote: »

Worked in this place with this crazy CTO (a company that was far too small to have a CTO, but this was the early 2000s). He'd work for four days straight (though the night and all), then just disappear for two days to a local pub and go on a bender. Bosses would have to go looking for him for client meetings.

We had a Christmas party somewhere in rural Wicklow. About 7 pm, the GM of the company was sitting beside the CTO at the meal, and said that he was going to keep up with him drink for drink. CTO basically said "No, seriously, don't even try. It won't end well." and actually meant it, but of course GM said "Challenge accepted!".

I have a photo of the two of them from 8.30 pm. GM is completely unconscious on the table (with the meal still going on around him), CTO is smiling away. GM had to be carried to bed by 4 people soon after.

We left the party around 3 AM. CTO was heading to the resident's bar on his own at this stage.

Next morning, we get up to head home. GM is obviously dying, no surprise there. But there's no sign of CTO. We assume he's dying in his room, so we leave him and head off.

Next Monday we're all back in the office, GM is obviously somewhat sheepish, but there's no sign of CTO. He doesn't turn up all week, doesn't answer his phone. Sometime the next week, he rocks in to the office as if nothing happened.

Turns out the resident's bar closed at 6 am, so he decided to get a taxi to Wexford. I think there was an early house there at the time (or at least he thought there was). He then spent the full week there AWOL on a complete bender. I'm not sure if he even took his bag from the xmas party hotel, but even if he did, he would only have had clothes for an overnight stay. No repercussions of any kind for his absence, just him being him. Needless to say, the company didn't last long.

Pics or gtfo

Bosco13 · 31-07-2020 10:41am

Ma had an Xmas do where they got thrown out because the boss lost the head and started throwing barstools at people.
Another year he fired all the polish workers because one danced with his wife.

Church on Tuesday · 31-07-2020 11:42am

bear1 wrote: »

so following on from the worst scandals at work thread, it got me thinking about past company parties which were an utter disaster for those involved or random workers

Guy in my previous company worked alongside his wife.
We had a integration party but she didn't attend but he did.
Fast forward the evening and an open bar is opened for us all after the usual crappy quizzes etc are completed and everyone is knocking back drinks and dancing.
Later on in the evening and one of the guys is heading to the jacks and opens one of the stalls to find the husband getting a bj from one of the girls in the company who was friends with the wife.
Said girl ends up getting pregnant but tight lipped on who the father was even though the rumours were already deep into everyone's mind.
Wife never found out amazingly and he and the lover quit soon after.

Another lad on the same night drank way way too much and stumbled over to the management table, proceeded in puking his lungs out on their table and then fell asleep in his vomit on the table.
He had to be picked up and brought home.

So.. who else?

Sounds like my idea of hell.

Salvadoor · 31-07-2020 1:55pm

Office Christmas party, free booze, dancing like a good thing.

Ended up messing with one of the office security guards. I grabbed his leg which came away in my hands (I did not know he had a prosthetic), he headbutted me, I threw his leg away across the dancefloor in retaliation.

Bouncers threw us both out of the venue. Fortunately I was able to leg it (:pac:) away before he regained full mobility.

Going past the security desk for the next few months was kinda awkward.

joeguevara · 31-07-2020 2:00pm

Keyzer wrote: »

Most these stories revolve around alcohol, we really do have a terrible relationship with the sauce in this country...

But what were you expecting in the worst work party thread.....the vol au vents were dry and the band were out of tune?

Pherekydes · 31-07-2020 11:25pm

GOCs. Hated them.

Funerals. Usually highly emotional affairs, with full military honours, major figures attending (like the Prez). Emotional because the victim was usually youngish (20s to 40s), with wives and families. Horrible affairs.

Worst work event

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