How to be more mellow?

shamrock2004 · 11-03-2016 12:55pm #1

I consider myself highly strung and at times get stressed about stupid things. Would you consider yourself stressful? If not, did you used to be a stress head and if so how did you learn to 'give less of a sh*t' about things?

Antar Bolaeisk · 11-03-2016 12:56pm

When things really get to me I find deep breathing helps a lot.

Iang87 · 11-03-2016 12:59pm

Smoking helps

jester77 · 11-03-2016 1:02pm

Just stop dwelling. I never understand why people let things get to them. Whatever has happened is now behind you. Worrying or stressing is not going to do anything to change that. Sh*t day at work? Then forget about it the second you put your foot out the door. Start thinking about your evening ahead, what you are going to do, cook, people you are going to meet, etc. Lifes too short to get hung up on stuff.

mathie · 11-03-2016 1:05pm

As soon as you realize other peoples opinions are just that then you will be on your way to a less stressful life.
Stop caring what other people think.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 11-03-2016 1:12pm

Taking the "f uck it" approach to life. I'm still a bit volatile but saying f uck it to most things has mellowed me out a lot.

Stigura · 11-03-2016 1:15pm

Librium.

chrissb8 · 11-03-2016 1:24pm

Realise in less than 100 years your existence won't matter and everything you do in the large scheme of things is pointless. Helps put all the "big" things in perspective for me and realise that life is not something to be taken that seriously. Enjoy yourself and realise that everything is temporary. The stressful times, the good times, this life.

KungPao · 11-03-2016 1:24pm

Go easy on the sauce, get off social media (looking at and comparing your life to the highlights of others lives is a bad idea if youre anxious), give up caffeine - drink camomile instead. Go for walks in the park whenever you can etc.

Not magic bullets by any means, but these little things help. If they dont help, you could try going on the gear, but thats not recommended.

Alf Stewart. · 11-03-2016 1:28pm

I find ogling Sheila's in leopard skin whale tail thongs helps me in the stress depatment, that and skullin ice cold tinnies from the eskie.

shamrock2004 · 11-03-2016 1:31pm

KungPao wrote: »

Go easy on the sauce, get off social media (looking at and comparing your life to the highlights of others lives is a bad idea if youre anxious), give up caffeine - drink camomile instead. Go for walks in the park whenever you can etc.

Not magic bullets by any means, but these little things help. If they dont help, you could try going on the gear, but thats not recommended.

I like this (im actually sipping a coffee as I read this!). Ive cut way back on caffeine to 1 cup of coffee every 2 days thereabouts. What entrigues me though are those people who are "laid back" and know they are laid back. Do they do it purposely?

vicwatson · 11-03-2016 1:35pm

Gange

Speedwell · 11-03-2016 1:44pm

I used to live in the US, where it is much more accepted that people deal with anxiety and related issues. I was semi-diagnosed with GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder); my therapist said, "You might have that, but let's not worry about it right now" (heh). Whatever it was, the therapy was successful and I don't really have it anymore. I still get stressed about pointless crap, but not nearly as much as I used to. They now think I have Asperger's (yay, I'm 50 this year, lol).

Here is what helped me the most:

Enough sleep. Enough water. Enough exercise (even a little walk helps). Enough time out in public (even if I don't interact directly with anyone but the checkout clerk at the shop).
Realizing that "what I think" and "what my mind makes me think" are two different things. Someone online refers to the "jerkbrain" and indeed unwanted anxious thoughts feel a lot like being emotionally abused by your own brain, heh. "Jerkbrain" is caused by some combination of the metabolism and hormones. Recognise it as a body thing and not a thought thing. One great tactic: Visualise the jerkbrain as a monkey on your shoulder, jabbering at nothing. Tell it, "I understand you want me to be anxious and stressed about this because you sense danger. Thanks for that. I'll deal with this rationally and you can settle down now." Or words to that effect (I just think, "Thanks, hush, I got it").

When bothersome thoughts are TOO bothersome, I generally do the following:

pop a loratidine tablet (yeah, the antihistamine; some psychiatric meds are based on antihistamines) which takes the edge off in about 20 minutes. I find it effective and non-habit-forming. Check with your GP whether this is OK for you (especially if you are on other medication).
check my blood sugar (both too-high and too-low blood sugars are sure to cause anxiety) and treat any issues (high sugar by exercise and medication, low sugar by eating something sensible) and take a magnesium tablet (magnesium orotate, citrate, etc., anything but oxide, which is worthless). Magnesium is calming and also helps blood sugar. Again, ask the GP if this is OK for you.
have a cup of tea (tea contains a substance called L-theanine which works very nicely to calm anxiety; green tea is best but black tea is next best)
if things are VERY bad, I go ahead and cry (tears help your body rid itself of stress chemicals).
do a "tapping" routine. Google "EFT Tapping" for simple self-help instructions. I was a huge skeptic about this for the longest time... until I tried it. Blew me away. Now I use it to help nervous people in airports.
go out where I interact with people; social settings are very helpful for me to stop myself escalating the stress and going into a panic attack.

holy guacamole · 11-03-2016 1:46pm

I don't think there's any quick-fix, some people are just naturally more prone to stress than others.

You can't hard-wire your brain to react to situations differently, but you can take measures to minimise the effects of stress.

This might sound a bit trite but if you feel like things are getting on top of you then make a list of all the things you need to do whether they be work or home-related. Tick off each task as you do it and get into the habit of doing this on a daily basis. I guarantee this will help alleviate your stress to some degree.

If you're getting stressed about stupid things then maybe you need to ask yourself why you're getting stressed rather than how to prevent it. Stress is usually the result of other factors, parts of your life that you're unhappy with.

AnonoBoy · 11-03-2016 1:47pm

Belly breathe.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mZbzDOpylA

The Backwards Man · 11-03-2016 1:48pm

Smoking banana skins.

ChickCave · 11-03-2016 1:52pm

I would recommend doing a Mindfulness course so something similar. There are 1 day courses available if you want a taster. It gives you a better perspective on things, more understanding of yourself and of other people. The book Thrive by Rob Kelly is very good for this as well (very similar philosophy) if that medium suits you better.

Speedwell · 11-03-2016 1:54pm

ChickCave wrote: »

I would recommend doing a Mindfulness course so something similar. There are 1 day courses available if you want a taster. It gives you a better perspective on things, more understanding of yourself and of other people. The book Thrive by Rob Kelly is very good for this as well (very similar philosophy) if that medium suits you better.

This should be a standard life skill taught to everyone. We'd all be much better off. The "tapping" I mentioned above is a mindfulness "trick" that works even without the need to formally "meditate".

realdanbreen · 11-03-2016 1:55pm

shamrock2004 wrote: »

I consider myself highly strung and at times get stressed about stupid things. Would you consider yourself stressful? If not, did you used to be a stress head and if so how did you learn to 'give less of a sh*t' about things?

Just bear in mind that in 90 years time,maybe less, everyone that is posting on this thread, all of the adults that you know or see today will be dead, gone, never to return. So relax.

Speedwell · 11-03-2016 1:57pm

realdanbreen wrote: »

Just bear in mind that in 90 years time,maybe less, everyone that is posting on this thread, all of the adults that you know or see today will be dead, gone, never to return. So relax.

Oh, thanks, tell the middle-aged broad she's getting old. (goes to make tea and take belly breaths) :P

ChickCave · 11-03-2016 2:03pm

The book I mentioned above doesn't actually require meditation so I guess it's a bit different to Mindfulness. More like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It's around helping you to understand yourself better and to understand others. Once you understand it takes the exasperation out of things going wrong. I find you get less emotional about things once you understand them.

shamrock2004 · 11-03-2016 2:05pm

ChickCave wrote: »

I would recommend doing a Mindfulness course so something similar. There are 1 day courses available if you want a taster. It gives you a better perspective on things, more understanding of yourself and of other people. The book Thrive by Rob Kelly is very good for this as well (very similar philosophy) if that medium suits you better.

I meditate everyday and am lucky enough I know how to integrate meditation into my everyday life as mindfulness. I do see how it allows me to see particular behaviours and emotions which arise in certain situations it's trying not to relate to those emotions. It has increased my awareness to no end

11-03-2016 2:06pm

Heroin.

Or Cocaine when I want to give more of ****.

suicide_circus · 11-03-2016 2:12pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Heroin.

Or Cocaine when I want to give more of ****.

It's a delicate balancing act

Autonomous Cowherd · 11-03-2016 2:15pm

If I get stressed out, I remember that I am standing on a sphere that is rotating at about 1000 miles per hour, while also revolving around the sun at about 18 miles per second, while the whole lot of us move forwards in the galaxy at about 155 miles every second, and that galaxy itself is moving at 185 miles per second, and so far it looks like we are the only ones on a goldilocks planet in the observable Universe (though we await incoming mail) and I am in this mad awesome situation for a laughably brief length of time, and ...hang on a second...what was I supposed to give a fcuk about again?

beardybrewer · 11-03-2016 2:16pm

Perspective.

In 100 years who will care?

ChickCave · 11-03-2016 2:17pm

shamrock2004 wrote: »

I meditate everyday and am lucky enough I know how to integrate meditation into my everyday life as mindfulness. I do see how it allows me to see particular behaviours and emotions which arise in certain situations it's trying not to relate to those emotions. It has increased my awareness to no end

Sounds great, I must look into the meditation side more myself. I've gotten a lot from other methods but it's still a work in progress

thanks

realdanbreen · 11-03-2016 2:17pm

Autonomous Cowherd wrote: »

If I get stressed out, I remember that I am standing on a sphere that is rotating at about 1000 miles per hour, while also revolving around the sun at about 18 miles per second, while the whole lot of us move forwards in the galaxy at about 155 miles every second, and that galaxy itself is moving at 185 miles per second, and so far it looks like we are the only ones on a goldilocks planet in the observable Universe (though we await incoming mail) and I am in this mad awesome situation for a laughably brief length of time, and ...hang on a second...what was I supposed to give a fcuk about again?

Jesus! Trying to remember all those facts and figures would stress me out!

11-03-2016 2:17pm

Autonomous Cowherd wrote: »

If I get stressed out, I remember that I am standing on a sphere that is rotating at about 1000 miles per hour, while also revolving around the sun at about 18 miles per second, while the whole lot of us move forwards in the galaxy at about 155 miles every second, and that galaxy itself is moving at 185 miles per second, and so far it looks like we are the only ones on a goldilocks planet in the observable Universe (though we await incoming mail) and I am in this mad awesome situation for a laughably brief length of time, and ...hang on a second...what was I supposed to give a fcuk about again?

Your supposed to give a **** about how ugly you are and that you will die alone, remember?

Autonomous Cowherd · 11-03-2016 2:19pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Your supposed to give a **** about how ugly you are and that you will die alone, remember?

I'm lovely and I am not alone. But even if i was, I quite like myself

beardybrewer · 11-03-2016 2:39pm

Hannibelle Smeeeth · 11-03-2016 3:23pm

I would love to be more mellow....but people just set me off!! :pac:

Speedwell · 11-03-2016 3:24pm

I just remembered about this, too... nothing better for helping me sleep http://www.rainymood.com/

elstingeo · 11-03-2016 3:28pm

I've an anxiety disorder so I'm always stressed or high strung.. But I'd recommend practicing mindfulness, avoid caffeine, deep breathing, meditation, no smoking, good nights sleep and exercise.

11-03-2016 3:33pm

I used to be a stresshead. Always worrying. Wouldn't sleep all that well.

Now I rarely get overly stressed. The first sign that I'm stressed is that I get a pain in my right shoulder!

Things that you worry about can be broken down into two categories:

1. Things you can change.
2. Things you can't change.

If you can change things, change them, or do something to begin the process of changing them.

If you can't, then what good are you doing yourself by worrying about something you cannot change? Answer: None. The problem will be there whether you worry about it or not. Better not to worry!

Try to always think of things logically - sit down and break things down into little pieces. If you're thinking of a HUGE BIG THING THAT MIGHT HAPPEN of course you'll be stressed over it. Think of the steps and the smaller pieces of THAT BIG THING and maybe you can change/control some of the pieces, so change/control the ones you can and leave the ones you can't for someone else to worry about!

LDN_Irish · 11-03-2016 3:38pm

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Smoking banana skins.

I only do this when I'm too lazy to catch a psychoactive toad.

Huntergonzo · 11-03-2016 3:46pm

'Don't worry, about a thing, cause every little thing, gonna be alright' :-)

donegaLroad · 11-03-2016 4:40pm

shamrock2004 wrote: »

I consider myself highly strung and at times get stressed about stupid things. Would you consider yourself stressful? If not, did you used to be a stress head and if so how did you learn to 'give less of a sh*t' about things?

just say to yourself... 'the world is going to explode in about 5 millions years, none of this really matters'

Maximus Alexander · 11-03-2016 5:12pm

shamrock2004 wrote: »

I consider myself highly strung and at times get stressed about stupid things. Would you consider yourself stressful? If not, did you used to be a stress head and if so how did you learn to 'give less of a sh*t' about things?

I noticed that most people don't have it together nearly as well as they project; nobody has any idea what they're doing or what's going on; worst case scenarios are rarely as bad as you expect in the long run; no matter what happens the world keeps turning and the sun will rise tomorrow; I'll be old and then dead before I know it.

Now I just laugh at people who take themselves too seriously.

shamrock2004 · 11-03-2016 5:17pm

ChickCave wrote: »

Sounds great, I must look into the meditation side more myself. I've gotten a lot from other methods but it's still a work in progress thanks

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. People go to the gym to exercise their bodies, why not exercise the mind with meditation? I think kids should be taught the importance of mental health and equipped with practical tools for maintaining mental health.

Ruu · 11-03-2016 5:20pm

Meditation everyday, even if you can only spare 10 mins.

Ush1 · 11-03-2016 5:25pm

Intense physical exercise helps blow out that nervous, anxious energy. Best form of meditation available.

Aongus Von Bismarck · 11-03-2016 5:27pm

Mindful meditation. As little as 10 minutes per day. If you can spare 20 then even better. It just requires making it as routine as brushing your teeth or polishing your shoes.

MarkR · 11-03-2016 5:29pm

I probably lead a reasonably stressful life, but I don't let it get to me. Not that i've a mantra or anything, but I've always like "This too shall pass".

Whatever stuff you're going through, others have, or will. You're problems aren't unique, and you can get past them.

I also like the saying, though I can't find the exact one, is that you are the culminations of generations of winners, from the single cell life evolving and changing. From single cells, to simple organisms, through to the earliest animals, ape ancestors, everything your ancestors did brought about you, and me. And i'm sitting here on boards. Ah well. ;-)

DEFTLEFTHAND · 11-03-2016 5:31pm

I was always a little fuss arse, even as a child, everything gets me stressed.

diomed · 11-03-2016 5:33pm

Alf Stewart. wrote: »

I find ogling Sheila's in leopard skin whale tail thongs helps me in the stress depatment, that and skullin ice cold tinnies from the eskie.

Welcome to boards.ie. I like your contribution.

DareGod · 11-03-2016 6:57pm

shamrock2004 wrote: »

I consider myself highly strung and at times get stressed about stupid things. Would you consider yourself stressful? If not, did you used to be a stress head and if so how did you learn to 'give less of a sh*t' about things?

I have an anxiety disorder. The only thing that works for me (besides medication) is mindfulness. I know it's a buzzword at the moment, but it's been around for thousands of years, and for good reason.

It's not easy. For it to work for you, it takes time, practice and discipline, and it doesn't solve your issues overnight - these are aspects of it which probably put a lot of people off it and make them give up after only trying it for a very short time, branding it "useless."

But it has helped me massively because I have put a lot of time and work into it. I have a long way to go, but I'm enjoying huge benefits of mindfulness so far. There's no doubt that you will too, if you put in the work. It's worth it more than you can imagine.

Lia_lia · 11-03-2016 7:02pm

I attended Cognitive Behavioral Therapy a few years ago when I was going through a rough patch. Very helpful. If I'm ever stressed out or feeling down I apply the methods I learned in CBT.

Exercise also helps a lot. And plenty of sleep. Pretty obvious though I guess..

recylingbin · 11-03-2016 7:04pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjQ5Yw72xtA

paleoperson · 11-03-2016 7:38pm

Sometimes I get horrible OCD, and the more I think about it the worse it seems to get. It's literally a feedback loop based on nothing except my own panic. **** can be incredibly rough though.

I think everyone probably has their own "awful, awful thing", and their anxiety is directed towards it. Like their "outlet" or way of dealing with everything bad. The root cause of the anxiety or unease is one thing while it can be manifested as something completely different.

shamrock2004 · 11-03-2016 8:27pm

paleoperson wrote: »

Sometimes I get horrible OCD, and the more I think about it the worse it seems to get. It's literally a feedback loop based on nothing except my own panic. **** can be incredibly rough though.

I think everyone probably has their own "awful, awful thing", and their anxiety is directed towards it. Like their "outlet" or way of dealing with everything bad. The root cause of the anxiety or unease is one thing while it can be manifested as something completely different.

I have it too. It was meditation which made me more cognisant of it. Going to start CBT to try and fix this crap.

How to be more mellow?

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