The Night Cougher

Sgt Hartman · 22-10-2020 10:43am #1

There's a neighbour of mine living in one of the houses behind my own one. Every single night he's out in the back coughing his lungs up, I mean really choking and hockling. It sounds revolting. I'm tempted to shout something to him to tell him to stop being so vile. Another part of me just wants to call around to his place and tell him that this can't carry on and that he needs to get himself checked out in a hospital asap.

I'm just wondering what I should do because the coughing and spluttering is starting to really gross me out.

razorblunt · 22-10-2020 10:45am

Throw a packet of Halls Soothers at him.

fonecrusher1 · 22-10-2020 10:59am

Quick blast of piss

biko · 22-10-2020 11:53am

Headphones with some nice Slayer will drown him out.

COVID · 22-10-2020 12:18pm

razorblunt wrote: »

Through a packet of Halls Soothers at him.

Or better still, throw a 20 pack of 'Major' at him, that should finish him off.

corner of hells · 22-10-2020 12:49pm

Sgt Hartman wrote: »

There's a neighbour of mine living in one of the houses behind my own one. Every single night he's out in the back coughing his lungs up, I mean really choking and hockling. It sounds revolting. I'm tempted to shout something to him to tell him to stop being so vile. Another part of me just wants to call around to his place and tell him that this can't carry on and that he needs to get himself checked out in a hospital asap.

I'm just wondering what I should do because the coughing and spluttering is starting to really gross me out.

OP , you need to raise your game with your neighbour.

I would recommend playing the banjo music from the film "Deliverance " for maybe an hour first when you hear him cough.
Stop the music suddenly, make a load of grunting and shuffling sounds for maybe ten minutes and then , finally , as loud as you can , squeal like a pig.

KilOit · 22-10-2020 1:07pm

What a prick for being sick and not coughing all over the people in his house

Dravokivich · 22-10-2020 1:10pm

biko wrote: »

Headphones with some nice Slayer will drown him out.

Or add some harmony

The Master · 22-10-2020 1:20pm

Ride his wife

That'll soften his cough

Tuco88 · 22-10-2020 1:49pm

COVID wrote: »

Or better still, throw a 20 pack of 'Major' at him, that should finish him off.

Or woodbines aka coffin nails.

punisher5112 · 22-10-2020 1:50pm

Send him an ambulance

bazz26 · 22-10-2020 3:18pm

Setup an outdoor speaker and when he starts coughing turn on the The Purge alarm.

punisher5112 · 22-10-2020 3:28pm

Cough back, but like an echo

Gregor Samsa · 22-10-2020 4:03pm

I though the title said "The Night Cougar"

Disappointed now.

Sgt Hartman · 22-10-2020 8:59pm

COVID wrote: »

Or better still, throw a 20 pack of 'Major' at him, that should finish him off.

From the sound of him I think he's already a 60 Major a day man

He's at it again at the moment, hockling and spluttering

crosstownk · 22-10-2020 9:55pm

Maybe he's had plenty of medical advice/diagnosis and there's fcuk all can be done about it.

I'm sure it bothers him a lot more than it bothers the OP.

Sgt Hartman · 22-10-2020 10:06pm

crosstownk wrote: »

Maybe he's had plenty of medical advice/diagnosis and there's fcuk all can be done about it.

I'm sure it bothers him a lot more than it bothers the OP.

I was thinking that though. Maybe the poor guy has terminal lung cancer and can't help it. In that case I totally empathize with him.
On the other hand though he could just be an ignorant smoker who doesn't care how gross or indiscreet he's being. I lived with someone like that in a house share and he was a nightmare, a really nasty pig of a man who left filthy butts outside the front door and coughed his lungs up every night.

I just wonder should I approach him and let him be aware of the way he is or would I possibly be inviting trouble on myself by doing so, especially if he's a rough sort.

Gregor Samsa · 22-10-2020 10:14pm

Sgt Hartman wrote: »

I just wonder should I approach him and let him be aware of the way he is or would I possibly be inviting trouble on myself by doing so, especially if he's a rough sort.

People love it when they’re confronted by strangers about personal matters they’re engaging in on their own property. Go on, call around to him now and ask him what’s going on with his cough. You certainly won’t be seen as the weird neighbour who should mind their own business.

Let us know how grateful he was for the call, people need uplifting stories in these difficult times.

Sgt Hartman · 22-10-2020 10:24pm

Gregor Samsa wrote: »

People love it when they’re confronted by strangers about personal matters they’re engaging in on their own property. Go on, call around to him now and ask him what’s going on with his cough. You certainly won’t be seen as the weird neighbour who should mind their own business.

Let us know how grateful he was for the call.

So basically I and my other neighbours should just tolerate listening to his gutteral coughing every night and mind our own business? His health issues may well be nobody else's business but when I hear someone doing this every night out in the back yard for all and sundry to listen to I can't help but to think to myself that this person either needs help or needs to be more considerate. It's not being weird.

punisher5112 · 22-10-2020 10:26pm

Kidnap is the only way....

22-10-2020 10:29pm

Sounds like a title of a Stephen King short story.

I see sheep · 22-10-2020 10:29pm

You're being a drama queen in fairness, he has a smoker's cough, a lot of people have it. There's no mystery.

corner of hells · 22-10-2020 10:30pm

punisher5112 wrote: »

Kidnap is the only way....

Who, the OP or the cougher ?

Gregor Samsa · 22-10-2020 10:31pm

Sgt Hartman wrote: »

So basically I and my other neighbours should just tolerate listening to his gutteral coughing every night and mind our own business? His health issues may well be nobody else's business but when I hear someone doing this every night out in the back yard for all and sundry to listen to I can't help but to think to myself that this person either needs help or needs to be more considerate. It's not being weird.

Then there’s obviously no problem with calling around to him right now and asking him what’s going on.

punisher5112 · 22-10-2020 10:32pm

corner of hells wrote: »

Who, the OP or the cougher ?

Oh that's a tough one actually can I just say burn em, burn em all.

crosstownk · 22-10-2020 10:36pm

He's hardly hacking a lung up just to p1ss of the neighbours. His desire to not cough is greater than anyone else's.

Maybe he could be a bit more discreet but depending on his circumstances, being discreet may be the last thing on his mind.

punisher5112 · 22-10-2020 11:27pm

Its the damp night air that's causing it sure. Get him a scarf.

bb1234567 · 23-10-2020 12:14am

He's probably going outside in the first place to avoid his family/housemates having to witness it, poor man what more can he do

Graces7 · 23-10-2020 2:49pm

Ear plugs for the time you know he will be out there. Please.

punisher5112 · 23-10-2020 3:30pm

Move house

Stovepipe · 23-10-2020 3:35pm

ignore him. he's not got long left anyway. the next sound you won't hear will be the hiss of his oxygen rig...

chrissb8 · 23-10-2020 4:14pm

COVID wrote: »

Or better still, throw a 20 pack of 'Major' at him, that should finish him off.

Throw a brick at him

Dj Stiggie · 24-10-2020 12:20am

You could be describing me OP. 29, cystic fibrosis, reasonably healthy but that's because I do aggressive physio therapy where I sound like I'm dying in the morning and at night.

I've been hearing hilarious banter like, "smoker's cough/would you ever get yourself sorted/ah looking for attention again" to busy bodies with 'medical advice', "have you gone to a doctor/tried this ****e my aunt sells/gone to a homeopath/drank some hot water with honey and lemon?" to strangers asking if I was going to die or how would I die, etc. since I was a teenager. Trust me, he knows he's coughing and he probably has someone in his house ready to deck him if he does it inside one more time.

I have two roommates who are pretty sound about it, and a kitchen that's reasonably sound proof from the bedrooms but one of my roommates was chatting to our upstairs twat of a neighbour recently. I've lived in this apartment for six years.

Neighbour: There's a lot of coughing from your apartment.

Roommate: Yeah that's my roommate, he has a chronic lung disease.

N: He should really see a doctor or something.

R: Yeah, he does. He sees a lot of them actually.

N: No, really. They'll be able to help him.

R: Eh, they haven't cured cystic fibrosis yet...

N: He should go to the hospital.

Like really, what would you get out of talking to him OP? Or just throw the box of Marlboro at him for the craic. If he chases you, you can find out how serious his condition actually is.

punisher5112 · 24-10-2020 12:24am

Its fungi, op you found him....

Trouser Snake · 24-10-2020 12:27am

Dj Stiggie wrote: »

You could be describing me OP. 29, cystic fibrosis, reasonably healthy but that's because I do aggressive physio therapy where I sound like I'm dying in the morning and at night.

I've been hearing hilarious banter like, "smoker's cough/would you ever get yourself sorted/ah looking for attention again" to busy bodies with 'medical advice', "have you gone to a doctor/tried this ****e my aunt sells/gone to a homeopath/drank some hot water with honey and lemon?" to strangers asking if I was going to die or how would I die, etc. since I was a teenager. Trust me, he knows he's coughing and he probably has someone in his house ready to deck him if he does it inside one more time.

I have two roommates who are pretty sound about it, and a kitchen that's reasonably sound proof from the bedrooms but one of my roommates was chatting to our upstairs twat of a neighbour recently. I've lived in this apartment for six years.

Neighbour: There's a lot of coughing from your apartment.

Roommate: Yeah that's my roommate, he has a chronic lung disease.

N: He should really see a doctor or something.

R: Yeah, he does. He sees a lot of them actually.

N: No, really. They'll be able to help him.

R: Eh, they haven't cured cystic fibrosis yet...

N: He should go to the hospital.

Like really, what would you get out of talking to him OP? Or just throw the box of Marlboro at him for the craic. If he chases you, you can find out how serious his condition actually is.

What's your point caller?

JustAThought · 24-10-2020 12:35am

Trouser Snake wrote: »

What's your point caller?

eeemm ... that nobody sounds like they’re coughing a lung ip unless they are practically coughing a lung up..

OP - is he at it all night or only for a certain length of time? Maybe earpieces and a podcast will entertain you better and drown out the drowning.

EmmetSpiceland · 24-10-2020 12:38am

Jesus Christ, I keep reading the thread title as ‘The Night Cougar’ thinking it’ll be something much less gross and way more attractive than someone coughing their guts up every night.

Trouser Snake · 24-10-2020 12:48am

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Jesus Christ, I keep reading the thread title as ‘The Night Cougar’ thinking it’ll be something much less gross and way more attractive than someone coughing their guts up every night.

Not your usual Friday night haunt Em, c'mon, we're all making sacrifices here!

punisher5112 · 24-10-2020 1:02am

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Jesus Christ, I keep reading the thread title as ‘The Night Cougar’ thinking it’ll be something much less gross and way more attractive than someone coughing their guts up every night.

The night cougar prowls at night and is plain as day during the day....
She is a mysterious leather clad minx by night and a man by day.....

That help your fantasy

Turquoise Hexagon Sun · 24-10-2020 3:56am

Is this night cougher located in Dublin 3 by any chance?

punisher5112 · 24-10-2020 10:39am

Turquoise Hexagon Sun wrote: »

Is this night cougher located in Dublin 3 by any chance?

You isn't it

s8n · 24-10-2020 11:33am

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

Quick blast of piss

reported

Sgt Hartman · 24-10-2020 10:52pm

Turquoise Hexagon Sun wrote: »

Is this night cougher located in Dublin 3 by any chance?

Balbriggan actually. Do you have a night cougher where you are also?

Turquoise Hexagon Sun · 24-10-2020 11:50pm

Sgt Hartman wrote: »

Balbriggan actually. Do you have a night cougher where you are also?

In a place I used live. Just really loud gargly coughs at night. Always at night. They sounded really horrendous. I don't think they smoked at it was almost every night for months. I got used to the sound but when guests came over they would always remind me how crazy it was.

Deja Boo · 03-06-2022 8:14am

post deleted, this showed up on the front page as a current thread, not 2 years old, sorry mods.

Mad_maxx · 03-06-2022 9:32am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058124297/the-night-cougher

most likely has undiagnosed allergies , my mother has never in my memory been without a cough , shes especially bad these days but she prides herself on never fixing problems , merely enduring them so she will cough on

retalivity · 03-06-2022 10:05am

I live in an apartment, spent most of last night coughing as ive the flu, thought this thread was about me!

sam t smith · 03-06-2022 10:09am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119152432#Comment_119152432

You mother is to be commended. 👍🏻

Bobblehats · 03-06-2022 2:37pm

The night cougar is raunchy. Night cougher just full of phlegm

Filmer Paradise · 03-06-2022 11:48pm

OP our country really needs people like you......

to emigrate!

04-06-2022 12:07am

Is their house attached to yours?

The Night Cougher

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