The Night Cougher

Sgt Hartman

There's a neighbour of mine living in one of the houses behind my own one. Every single night he's out in the back coughing his lungs up, I mean really choking and hockling. It sounds revolting. I'm tempted to shout something to him to tell him to stop being so vile. Another part of me just wants to call around to his place and tell him that this can't carry on and that he needs to get himself checked out in a hospital asap.

I'm just wondering what I should do because the coughing and spluttering is starting to really gross me out.

razorblunt

Throw a packet of Halls Soothers at him.

fonecrusher1

Quick blast of piss

biko

Headphones with some nice Slayer will drown him out.

COVID

razorblunt wrote: »

Through a packet of Halls Soothers at him.

Or better still, throw a 20 pack of 'Major' at him, that should finish him off.

corner of hells

Sgt Hartman wrote: »

There's a neighbour of mine living in one of the houses behind my own one. Every single night he's out in the back coughing his lungs up, I mean really choking and hockling. It sounds revolting. I'm tempted to shout something to him to tell him to stop being so vile. Another part of me just wants to call around to his place and tell him that this can't carry on and that he needs to get himself checked out in a hospital asap.

I'm just wondering what I should do because the coughing and spluttering is starting to really gross me out.

OP , you need to raise your game with your neighbour.

I would recommend playing the banjo music from the film "Deliverance " for maybe an hour first when you hear him cough.
Stop the music suddenly, make a load of grunting and shuffling sounds for maybe ten minutes and then , finally , as loud as you can , squeal like a pig.

KilOit

What a prick for being sick and not coughing all over the people in his house

Dravokivich

biko wrote: »

Headphones with some nice Slayer will drown him out.

Or add some harmony

The Master

Ride his wife

That'll soften his cough

Tuco88

COVID wrote: »

Or better still, throw a 20 pack of 'Major' at him, that should finish him off.

Or woodbines aka coffin nails.

punisher5112

Send him an ambulance

bazz26

Setup an outdoor speaker and when he starts coughing turn on the The Purge alarm.

punisher5112

Cough back, but like an echo

Gregor Samsa

I though the title said "The Night Cougar"

Disappointed now.

Sgt Hartman

COVID wrote: »

Or better still, throw a 20 pack of 'Major' at him, that should finish him off.

From the sound of him I think he's already a 60 Major a day man

He's at it again at the moment, hockling and spluttering

crosstownk

Maybe he's had plenty of medical advice/diagnosis and there's fcuk all can be done about it.

I'm sure it bothers him a lot more than it bothers the OP.

Sgt Hartman

crosstownk wrote: »

Maybe he's had plenty of medical advice/diagnosis and there's fcuk all can be done about it.

I'm sure it bothers him a lot more than it bothers the OP.

I was thinking that though. Maybe the poor guy has terminal lung cancer and can't help it. In that case I totally empathize with him.
On the other hand though he could just be an ignorant smoker who doesn't care how gross or indiscreet he's being. I lived with someone like that in a house share and he was a nightmare, a really nasty pig of a man who left filthy butts outside the front door and coughed his lungs up every night.

I just wonder should I approach him and let him be aware of the way he is or would I possibly be inviting trouble on myself by doing so, especially if he's a rough sort.

Gregor Samsa

Sgt Hartman wrote: »

I just wonder should I approach him and let him be aware of the way he is or would I possibly be inviting trouble on myself by doing so, especially if he's a rough sort.

People love it when they’re confronted by strangers about personal matters they’re engaging in on their own property. Go on, call around to him now and ask him what’s going on with his cough. You certainly won’t be seen as the weird neighbour who should mind their own business.

Let us know how grateful he was for the call, people need uplifting stories in these difficult times.

Sgt Hartman

Gregor Samsa wrote: »

People love it when they’re confronted by strangers about personal matters they’re engaging in on their own property. Go on, call around to him now and ask him what’s going on with his cough. You certainly won’t be seen as the weird neighbour who should mind their own business.

Let us know how grateful he was for the call.

So basically I and my other neighbours should just tolerate listening to his gutteral coughing every night and mind our own business? His health issues may well be nobody else's business but when I hear someone doing this every night out in the back yard for all and sundry to listen to I can't help but to think to myself that this person either needs help or needs to be more considerate. It's not being weird.

punisher5112

Kidnap is the only way....

Sounds like a title of a Stephen King short story.

I see sheep

You're being a drama queen in fairness, he has a smoker's cough, a lot of people have it. There's no mystery.

corner of hells

punisher5112 wrote: »

Kidnap is the only way....

Who, the OP or the cougher ?

Gregor Samsa

Sgt Hartman wrote: »

So basically I and my other neighbours should just tolerate listening to his gutteral coughing every night and mind our own business? His health issues may well be nobody else's business but when I hear someone doing this every night out in the back yard for all and sundry to listen to I can't help but to think to myself that this person either needs help or needs to be more considerate. It's not being weird.

Then there’s obviously no problem with calling around to him right now and asking him what’s going on.

punisher5112

corner of hells wrote: »

Who, the OP or the cougher ?

Oh that's a tough one actually can I just say burn em, burn em all.

crosstownk

He's hardly hacking a lung up just to p1ss of the neighbours. His desire to not cough is greater than anyone else's.

Maybe he could be a bit more discreet but depending on his circumstances, being discreet may be the last thing on his mind.

punisher5112

Its the damp night air that's causing it sure. Get him a scarf.

bb1234567

He's probably going outside in the first place to avoid his family/housemates having to witness it, poor man what more can he do

Graces7

Ear plugs for the time you know he will be out there. Please.

punisher5112

Move house

Stovepipe

ignore him. he's not got long left anyway. the next sound you won't hear will be the hiss of his oxygen rig...

chrissb8

COVID wrote: »

Or better still, throw a 20 pack of 'Major' at him, that should finish him off.

Throw a brick at him

Dj Stiggie

You could be describing me OP. 29, cystic fibrosis, reasonably healthy but that's because I do aggressive physio therapy where I sound like I'm dying in the morning and at night.

I've been hearing hilarious banter like, "smoker's cough/would you ever get yourself sorted/ah looking for attention again" to busy bodies with 'medical advice', "have you gone to a doctor/tried this ****e my aunt sells/gone to a homeopath/drank some hot water with honey and lemon?" to strangers asking if I was going to die or how would I die, etc. since I was a teenager. Trust me, he knows he's coughing and he probably has someone in his house ready to deck him if he does it inside one more time.

I have two roommates who are pretty sound about it, and a kitchen that's reasonably sound proof from the bedrooms but one of my roommates was chatting to our upstairs twat of a neighbour recently. I've lived in this apartment for six years.

Neighbour: There's a lot of coughing from your apartment.

Roommate: Yeah that's my roommate, he has a chronic lung disease.

N: He should really see a doctor or something.

R: Yeah, he does. He sees a lot of them actually.

N: No, really. They'll be able to help him.

R: Eh, they haven't cured cystic fibrosis yet...

N: He should go to the hospital.

Like really, what would you get out of talking to him OP? Or just throw the box of Marlboro at him for the craic. If he chases you, you can find out how serious his condition actually is.

punisher5112

Its fungi, op you found him....

Trouser Snake

Dj Stiggie wrote: »

You could be describing me OP. 29, cystic fibrosis, reasonably healthy but that's because I do aggressive physio therapy where I sound like I'm dying in the morning and at night.

I've been hearing hilarious banter like, "smoker's cough/would you ever get yourself sorted/ah looking for attention again" to busy bodies with 'medical advice', "have you gone to a doctor/tried this ****e my aunt sells/gone to a homeopath/drank some hot water with honey and lemon?" to strangers asking if I was going to die or how would I die, etc. since I was a teenager. Trust me, he knows he's coughing and he probably has someone in his house ready to deck him if he does it inside one more time.

I have two roommates who are pretty sound about it, and a kitchen that's reasonably sound proof from the bedrooms but one of my roommates was chatting to our upstairs twat of a neighbour recently. I've lived in this apartment for six years.

Neighbour: There's a lot of coughing from your apartment.

Roommate: Yeah that's my roommate, he has a chronic lung disease.

N: He should really see a doctor or something.

R: Yeah, he does. He sees a lot of them actually.

N: No, really. They'll be able to help him.

R: Eh, they haven't cured cystic fibrosis yet...

N: He should go to the hospital.

Like really, what would you get out of talking to him OP? Or just throw the box of Marlboro at him for the craic. If he chases you, you can find out how serious his condition actually is.

What's your point caller?

JustAThought

Trouser Snake wrote: »

What's your point caller?

eeemm ... that nobody sounds like they’re coughing a lung ip unless they are practically coughing a lung up..

OP - is he at it all night or only for a certain length of time? Maybe earpieces and a podcast will entertain you better and drown out the drowning.

EmmetSpiceland

Jesus Christ, I keep reading the thread title as ‘The Night Cougar’ thinking it’ll be something much less gross and way more attractive than someone coughing their guts up every night.

Trouser Snake

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Jesus Christ, I keep reading the thread title as ‘The Night Cougar’ thinking it’ll be something much less gross and way more attractive than someone coughing their guts up every night.

Not your usual Friday night haunt Em, c'mon, we're all making sacrifices here!

punisher5112

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Jesus Christ, I keep reading the thread title as ‘The Night Cougar’ thinking it’ll be something much less gross and way more attractive than someone coughing their guts up every night.

The night cougar prowls at night and is plain as day during the day....
She is a mysterious leather clad minx by night and a man by day.....

That help your fantasy

Turquoise Hexagon Sun

Is this night cougher located in Dublin 3 by any chance?

punisher5112

Turquoise Hexagon Sun wrote: »

Is this night cougher located in Dublin 3 by any chance?

You isn't it

s8n

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

Quick blast of piss

reported

Sgt Hartman

Turquoise Hexagon Sun wrote: »

Is this night cougher located in Dublin 3 by any chance?

Balbriggan actually. Do you have a night cougher where you are also?

Turquoise Hexagon Sun

Sgt Hartman wrote: »

Balbriggan actually. Do you have a night cougher where you are also?

In a place I used live. Just really loud gargly coughs at night. Always at night. They sounded really horrendous. I don't think they smoked at it was almost every night for months. I got used to the sound but when guests came over they would always remind me how crazy it was.

Deja Boo

post deleted, this showed up on the front page as a current thread, not 2 years old, sorry mods.

Mad_maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058124297/the-night-cougher

most likely has undiagnosed allergies , my mother has never in my memory been without a cough , shes especially bad these days but she prides herself on never fixing problems , merely enduring them so she will cough on

retalivity

I live in an apartment, spent most of last night coughing as ive the flu, thought this thread was about me!

sam t smith

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119152432#Comment_119152432

You mother is to be commended. 👍🏻

Bobblehats

The night cougar is raunchy. Night cougher just full of phlegm

Filmer Paradise

OP our country really needs people like you......

to emigrate!

Is their house attached to yours?