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What has helped you most with confidence?

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  • 24-02-2020 12:49am
    #1
    KM792
    Registered Users Posts: 252 ✭✭


    I know there's the obvious one of imagining people naked when you're adressing a room..
    Just curious on this one as someone who struggles a bit with confidence and presenting myself well..

    What are the best lessons you have learnt through age and experience re confidence?


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    #2
    H.20v3
    Closed Accounts Posts: 58 ✭✭H.20v3


    Evaluating myself in comparison to others

    Turns out you're no worse and often better than most in most areas


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    #3
    Antares35
    Registered Users Posts: 3,845 ✭✭✭Antares35


    That most people are more interested in themselves than others so where we think people are looking at us or judging us they are probably more wrapped up in their own world. It's quite liberating to realise this. Also I found as I got older I just cared less what people thought and this helped me be more confident. :)


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    #4
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    H.20v3 wrote: »
    Evaluating myself in comparison to others

    I stopped comparing myself to others and that eliminated the burden of unrealistic expectations.


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    #5
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Honestly my confidence is ****e. Nothing helps. I have just accepted it. Maybe its a good thing to lack confidence ...


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    #6
    Leg End Reject
    Registered Users Posts: 16,464 ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject


    Accept there's no real normal, most of us just conform to social norms in public.

    People will always talk about you, so make it interesting for them and show a few of your quirks. :D
    https://forumofgames.com/index.php

    >>> Staying Alive <<<



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    #7
    Heckler
    Registered Users Posts: 3,322 ✭✭✭Heckler


    BOOZE.


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    #8
    dartboardio
    Registered Users Posts: 2,436 ✭✭✭dartboardio


    Alcohol, makeup.

    Intelligence.


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    #9
    KM792
    Registered Users Posts: 252 ✭✭KM792


    Antares35 wrote: »
    That most people are more interested in themselves than others so where we think people are looking at us or judging us they are probably more wrapped up in their own world. It's quite liberating to realise this. Also I found as I got older I just cared less what people thought and this helped me be more confident. :)

    That's a really good point.If I had to walk into a room my default setting is are people looking at me,are they judging me etc but the truth is they're prob thinking about how they're being perceived in their own mind..are people judging me etc..

    Everyone is always more invested in themselves than others anyway...


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    #10
    Sardonicat
    Registered Users Posts: 12,378 ✭✭✭✭Sardonicat


    Leg End Reject wrote: »
    Accept there's no real normal, most of us just conform to social norms in public.

    People will always talk about you, so make it interesting for them and show a few of your quirks. :D
    Almost 5 decades of social ineptitude has the positive side effect of killing your capacity to give a **** of what others think of you. If I did, I wouldn't be able to leave the house or open my mouth. The other benefit is being very forgiving of other's quirks.


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    #11
    Leg End Reject
    Registered Users Posts: 16,464 ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject


    Sardonicat wrote: »
    Almost 5 decades of social ineptitude has the positive side effect of killing your capacity to give a **** of what others think of you. If I did, I wouldn't be able to leave the house or open my mouth. The other benefit is being very forgiving of other's quirks.

    I'm starting to think we're twins, or one of us is completely insane and the other is the alter ego.

    Did your mother have you tested? :D
    https://forumofgames.com/index.php

    >>> Staying Alive <<<



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    #12
    Sardonicat
    Registered Users Posts: 12,378 ✭✭✭✭Sardonicat


    Leg End Reject wrote: »
    I'm starting to think we're twins, or one of us is completely insane and the other is the alter ego.

    Did your mother have you tested? :D
    Ha! She was advised to but refused! (True)


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    #13
    JupiterKid
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 12,618 Mod ✭✭✭✭JupiterKid


    Believing in the old saying: “if you don’t ask, you don’t get.”

    Also worrying much less of what others think of me the older I get - and that if I have inspired a few other people through my teaching or brought joy and positivity to others though my friendships and relationships then I have served a useful purpose in life.


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    #14
    con747
    Registered Users Posts: 5,885 ✭✭✭con747


    KM792 wrote: »
    I know there's the obvious one of imagining people naked when you're adressing a room..
    Just curious on this one as someone who struggles a bit with confidence and presenting myself well..

    What are the best lessons you have learnt through age and experience re confidence?

    Not giving a sh*t and not caring about how other people see me in their eyes.

    Don't expect anything from life, just be grateful to be alive.



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    #15
    Quantum Erasure
    Registered Users Posts: 8,224 ✭✭✭Quantum Erasure


    alcohol

    Edit, i see I'm not the first with that answer


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    #16
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Quantum Erasure wrote: »
    alcohol

    Edit, i see I'm not the first with that answer
    i cant drink

    :mad:


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    #17
    Lyan
    Registered Users Posts: 220 ✭✭Lyan


    I've never understood how a person can feel comfortable in a room full of naked people.


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    #18
    Junkyard Tom
    Registered Users Posts: 10,117 ✭✭✭✭Junkyard Tom


    Developing an understanding that we live short, trivial, lives.


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    #19
    Titclamp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 409 ✭✭Titclamp


    Train in a combat sport. You are not thinking what others thinking of you then and most important get a break from self defeating analysis.

    I studied certain subjects I loved and its always a great way to boost confidence to have certainty in what you say in something you have a passion for especially for people who'd find it interesting. There's a mystique apparently from what certain people have said I'd have huge respect for.


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    #20
    Duckworth_Luas
    Registered Users Posts: 5,733 ✭✭✭Duckworth_Luas


    Women's slacks


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    #21
    corner of hells
    Registered Users Posts: 8,362 ✭✭✭corner of hells


    Age and not giving a bollix about what others think of me.


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    #22
    PmMeUrDogs
    Registered Users Posts: 703 ✭✭✭PmMeUrDogs


    Learning to stop caring what other people think.


    Everyone will be gossiped about at some point. I'll never be universally liked, there will always be people who don't like my personality, looks, attitude, whatever.


    But once I like myself and respect myself, none of that matters. Those who love and care for me believe I'm pretty great, and I respect myself enough to know I'm a good person. If someone doesn't like me, that's absolutely fine because chances are I won't like them much either.


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    #23
    looksee
    Registered Users Posts: 28,118 ✭✭✭✭looksee


    All the above, age plus a lifetime of not looking conventional, but mostly an awareness that other people are not interested in you, they are interested in themselves. Your friends will see you and like you, everyone else, well it doesn't matter what they think. No matter what you do, how you behave or what you look like, someone will feel free to judge you, so why bother what they think?

    Being confident, or at least not lacking in confidence, is a decision you can make, but it can take a while to convince yourself of this. While you are working on it just get on with life.


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    #24
    Antares35
    Registered Users Posts: 3,845 ✭✭✭Antares35


    KM792 wrote: »
    That's a really good point.If I had to walk into a room my default setting is are people looking at me,are they judging me etc but the truth is they're prob thinking about how they're being perceived in their own mind..are people judging me etc..

    Everyone is always more invested in themselves than others anyway...
    Mine was too and to be honest, it probably still is my automatic thought but then I catch myself thinking it and correct it, telling myself "actually Antares, you are wrong, they are not looking". One example I often use to re-iterate this, is I ask myself, "what was X, Y or Z wearing in the office yesterday?" and you can be guaranteed that 99 times out of 100, I won't remember because I haven't noted it. Then again, maybe that's just a lack of perceptive ability on my part! :D


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    #25
    weldoninhio
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,311 ✭✭✭✭weldoninhio


    KM792 wrote: »
    I know there's the obvious one of imagining people naked when you're adressing a room..
    Just curious on this one as someone who struggles a bit with confidence and presenting myself well..

    What are the best lessons you have learnt through age and experience re confidence?

    Fake it til you make it. Most people can't tell the difference between false confidence and real confidence. Then you get used to public speaking or whatever.


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    #26
    rekluse
    Registered Users Posts: 925 ✭✭✭rekluse


    Exercise.


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    #27
    ExoPolitic
    Registered Users Posts: 353 ✭✭ExoPolitic


    Not giving a sh*t anymore :)


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    #28
    Yurt2
    Registered Users Posts: 9,381 ✭✭✭Yurt2


    When the penny drops that a hell of a lot of people in the professional world are in fact bluffing and learning as they go. I've also learned that just because a person has swagger and an air of bravado, it's usually not genuine confidence and centredness, it's braggadocio masking poor self-esteem.


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    #29
    cj maxx
    Registered Users Posts: 13,471 ✭✭✭✭cj maxx


    NOT being drunk / hungover/ stoned and actually knowing what I'm talking about . And firmly believing that I know more than the people I'm talking in front of. Being the alpha male basically


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    #30
    Antares35
    Registered Users Posts: 3,845 ✭✭✭Antares35


    Yurt! wrote: »
    When the penny drops that a hell of a lot of people in the professional world are in fact bluffing and learning as they go. I've also learned that just because a person has swagger and an air of bravado, it's usually not genuine confidence and centredness, it's braggadocio masking poor self-esteem.

    Yup, the truly confident people I know are the ones who are quietly confident. They know they've "got this" and they don't feel the need to prove anything or flex their muscles in front of others. Most will listen more than they talk. People with lots to prove tend to make a lot of noise.


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    #31
    Torino
    Site Banned Posts: 12 ✭Torino


    The work of Eckhart Tolle, be present and don't identify with thoughts, objects, possessions or anything for that matter. You are the field of presence behind your thoughts, observe your thoughts, emotions and sense perceptions non judgementally.


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