Your Partners Ex Partner

Porklife · 20-02-2020 12:08pm #1

Last night over a few beverages, myself and a friend were talking about ex partners and how more often than not, you look back and think "what the hell was I thinking?!" but at the time you most likely (one would hope!) thought they were awesome.

She was telling me how her current boyfriends ex girlfriend is really hot and how much it bothers her but I was thinking that it's inadvertently a compliment as it reflects how you're probably on the same scale looks-wise. If my partners ex was aesthetically really unattractive I think it would bother me more! It also got me thinking that there's gotta be someone out there who has googled (aka cyber stalked) you and thought oh no, he/she used to go out with him/her!

So how do you guys feel about your partners ex being a hottie? Are you fortunate enough to be somebody who doesn't give a **** about these things or are you someone who agonizes over it and compares yourself to the ex? I find it a bit unnerving when I've discovered that I look really similar to the ex but it's two-fold as I also don't particularly like when I look completely different to the ex! Ah relationships, why can't they just be plain sailing and why is hindsight so much better and clearer than rightnowsight (it's a word!)?

My hungover musings on a Thursday morning.

beejee · 20-02-2020 12:21pm

"partner" will never not be a very strange name.

It makes me think of business partners, or buddy cop films. It's as nondescript as you can get, you don't even know if it's a man or a woman.

Weird, all day every day.

Martin Lanigan · 20-02-2020 12:23pm

beejee wrote: »

"partner" will never not be a very strange name.

It makes me think of business partners, or buddy cop films. It's as nondescript as you can get, you don't even know if it's a man or a woman.

Weird, all day every day.

Partner in crime also. Partner in law firm etc.

Hailey Cometh · 20-02-2020 12:29pm

Are you the resident Carrie Bradshaw on boards or something? All your threads seem to be about your boyfriends or alcohol.

Porklife · 20-02-2020 12:59pm

Hailey Cometh wrote: »

Are you the resident Carrie Bradshaw on boards or something? All your threads seem to be about your boyfriends or alcohol.

... it was at that moment I realised that Hailey Cometh didn't seem to like me much :pac:

kenmm · 20-02-2020 1:02pm

Doesn't bother me and I guess the compliment thing is nice way to think of it.
I'm try to be happy if my ex is happy even if we didn't work out (and more than likely because of my crazy.. so looks are not as important!)

EmmetSpiceland · 20-02-2020 1:04pm

I’ve met 3 of my partner’s former “partners”.

2 of them were fine, 1 a “rugby” man, like myself, and the other a burly Dutchman. Big, tall, guys but I’ve been assured that I’m the bigger “man”.

The third still bothers me. He was a scrawny “musician” type, shoulder length lank, and greasy, hair, a wispy beard and bad teeth.

I’ve asked her, repeatedly, about this guy but she doesn’t say much, just that he was “nice” and they went out for a short while.

From what I gather he “ended” things with her too, bizarre behaviour from someone who looks like he crawled out of a swamp to be at when he’s with a real “dime piece”.

The thoughts of his gawky “frame” slapping against her still turns my stomach a bit so I try not to think about it too much. But, I mean, really, what on earth was she thinking?

Pherekydes · 20-02-2020 1:06pm

My partner's ex-partner married my ex-partner. :pac:

I married my ex-partner's partner's ex-partner. :pac::pac:

Tacitus Kilgore · 20-02-2020 1:09pm

I really don't give a fiddlers about exes or that at all.

I've ridden a rake of cunce, she's ridden a rake of cunce, we both decided we like to ride each other the best so we're just gonna ride each other for good.

20-02-2020 1:12pm

If someone has an ex, it means they don't want to be with them anymore. If someone is with you, it's because they want you above all others.

Worrying about exes is a waste of energy and seems to lead to negative emotions, which you're better off without. Easier said than done for many, but don't stalk them or agonize over pictures because it never really leads to anything positive.

20-02-2020 1:13pm

Pherekydes wrote: »

My partner's ex-partner married my ex-partner. :pac:

I married my ex-partner's partner's ex-partner. :pac::pac:

Ultimate wifeswap.

skallywag · 20-02-2020 1:13pm

beejee wrote: »

"partner" will never not be a very strange name.

Have to say I also have strong feelings about that, and I can never bring myself to use it for some reason. That said, I often will get reprimanded for using the term girlfriend, considering we have been together for donkey's years.

For me partner conjurs up an image of Cowboys on horses!

Telly · 20-02-2020 1:13pm

I have no idea who my exes have been with or are with. Same with my partner, i've no idea what his exes look like, wouldnt even know their surnames to look them up. None of that shíte interests me.

20-02-2020 1:25pm

beejee wrote: »

"partner" will never not be a very strange name.

It makes me think of business partners, or buddy cop films. It's as nondescript as you can get, you don't even know if it's a man or a woman.

Weird, all day every day.

Hate the term being, absolutely detest it.

It's mostly used by people who should be married but are against marriage for a host of bizarre reasons. I hate what the word stands for.

To me the only acceptable terms are boy/girlfriend, fiancé or husband/wife.

20-02-2020 1:28pm

Mike Salty Steel wrote: »

Hate the term being, absolutely detest it.

It's mostly used by people who should be married but are against marriage for a host of bizarre reasons. I hate what the word stands for.

To me the only acceptable terms are boy/girlfriend, fiancé or husband/wife.

Never stop sharing The World According to Nox.

Roadtoad · 20-02-2020 1:31pm

I love the term 'Eskimo Brother'.

Is there a snappy opposite, or rainbow term?

Tacitus Kilgore · 20-02-2020 1:32pm

Roadtoad wrote: »

I love the term 'Eskimo Brother'.

Is there a snappy opposite, or rainbow term?

The stirring of the porridge?

Aisling(",) · 20-02-2020 1:35pm

I'm a bit of a mosey wagon, when I start going out with someone I do check the ex-girlfriends social media pages. I've stopped caring and comparing as much as I've gotten older because they clearly broke up for a reason.

It was a bit horrible to see someones ex who is skinnier/prettier/more exciting than you. I always would think that they'd be comparing them to me.

Hailey Cometh · 20-02-2020 1:39pm

I actually have no idea who my partner's exes were, names, where they were from etc, and he doesn't know much about mine either, they are just totally irrelevant and neither of us have any baggage, i.e. kids etc. It's something that has bothered me in the past, but now as a 38 year old aul one I just couldn't care less, I just want someone peaceful and no drama. My previous bf to this one years ago used to bang on about their ex, which made me go on about mine, and before you know it we both knew way too much about these things. Best to keep some things to yourself methinks.

Pherekydes · 20-02-2020 1:50pm

Candie wrote: »

Ultimate wifeswap.

For me anyway. Big upgrade.

Didn't work out quite so well for my ex though. Her partner shuffled off his mortal coil 3 years ago at 63.

No Time To Die.

20-02-2020 2:03pm

I knew little about the ex girlfriends of boyfriends past. I just didn't care. Those relationships ended for a reason and I was the person they were with.

Deebles McBeebles · 20-02-2020 2:10pm

Mike Salty Steel wrote: »

Hate the term being, absolutely detest it.

It's mostly used by people who should be married but are against marriage for a host of bizarre reasons. I hate what the word stands for.

To me the only acceptable terms are boy/girlfriend, fiancé or husband/wife.

What about ride-mate?

"Mother, this fine filly is my ride-mate, Sharon".

corner of hells · 20-02-2020 2:12pm

One of my ex partners has been married twice, so far,and is now on her third husband.

I'm still friends with one of her brothers and he describes her as a flying cnut

Fr_Dougal · 20-02-2020 2:19pm

One ex is now married to a guy who’s the spit of me, another married someone who resembles a potato.

mariaalice · 20-02-2020 2:33pm

My husband says of my first husband...it wouldn't be fair to mock the afflicted.

Been in a funny situation where a woman my ex-husband was seeing for a while works in a garden center I frequent, more or less said how did you put up with him, she also chats away to me and my husband if we are in the garden center.

Strumms · 20-02-2020 2:45pm

Candie wrote: »

If someone has an ex, it means they don't want to be with them anymore. If someone is with you, it's because they want you above all others.

Worrying about exes is a waste of energy and seems to lead to negative emotions, which you're better off without. Easier said than done for many, but don't stalk them or agonize over pictures because it never really leads to anything positive.

My current other half for a while earlier in the relationship had an issue with me still being friends with an ex on Facebook. Literally from one end of the year to the next the only interaction me and this ex would have would be wishing each other happy birthday, or ‘liking’ a post... it was over and the ex is living in a different country even.

I’ve never even once gone through any girlfriends Facebook friends, interactions they might be having, or otherwise...phone etc.. I just couldn’t care less...I don’t worry or care about my OH the ex’s, pointless waste of energy.

sbsquarepants · 20-02-2020 2:58pm

Anytime i hear "my partner" i think same sex couple.

That's not my partner, it's my missus:D

As for her exes - i don't think about them at all.

As for my exes partners - god love those poor fúckers, my heart goes out to them:D

touts · 20-02-2020 3:00pm

My wife and I are both open with each other about our ex "partners" be they serious or casual and I'm very ok with that. It made us the people we are. And as I say to my wife I'm flattered that of all the guys she could have had (and she could have had her pick of any one she wanted) she picked me. I felt I was playing out of my league and yet won the league.

20-02-2020 3:02pm

I would have thought that discussing ex's was a no go area for couples so unless you know their ex by other means they are hardly going to be pointing out who their ex's are/

eviltwin · 20-02-2020 3:08pm

My husband's ex was a stunner. Not just saying that, she was absolutely gorgeous. He definitely traded down when he ended up with me.

ErnestBorgnine · 20-02-2020 3:20pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I’ve met 3 of my partner’s former “partners”.

2 of them were fine, 1 a “rugby” man, like myself, and the other a burly Dutchman. Big, tall, guys but I’ve been assured that I’m the bigger “man”.

The third still bothers me. He was a scrawny “musician” type, shoulder length lank, and greasy, hair, a wispy beard and bad teeth.

I’ve asked her, repeatedly, about this guy but she doesn’t say much, just that he was “nice” and they went out for a short while.

From what I gather he “ended” things with her too, bizarre behaviour from someone who looks like he crawled out of a swamp to be at when he’s with a real “dime piece”.

The thoughts of his gawky “frame” slapping against her still turns my stomach a bit so I try not to think about it too much. But, I mean, really, what I’m earth was she thinking?

Could just be she has a thing for complete ****?

Airyfairy12 · 20-02-2020 3:20pm

Im single but have never given my past boyfriends ex's much thought at all. Unless of course they wearnt over them and were still holding a flame for them, otherwise, I just think they broke up for a reason and id hope he'd care enough about me and like me more than for how I look, to not compare me to his ex.
I know myself, when ive been with someone really hot and then go out with someone physically not so attractive, I dont wish he looked like the last guy, if anything, once im turned off someones personality, im turned off them sexually to, I think thats common for most people. You can look like a super model but be equally annoying or boring or stupid and that in itself is unattractive.

Id hope to find someone who loves my personality and who I am as I wont be attractive forever and neither will his hot ex.

Also, he wouldnt be with you if there wasnt atleast some physical attraction there.

Porklife · 20-02-2020 3:31pm

Tacitus Kilgore wrote: »

I really don't give a fiddlers about exes or that at all.

I've ridden a rake of cunce, she's ridden a rake of cunce, we both decided we like to ride each other the best so we're just gonna ride each other for good.

You have a beautiful way with words you know that?

LirW · 20-02-2020 3:48pm

My dad and my stepdad are good friends and whenever stepdad visits the motherland, they go for food and catch up.
My biological parents split up for a good reason (alcoholism) when I was small and now that I'm older I see they would not have been a good fit and that relationship would not have lasted.

Rufeo · 20-02-2020 10:46pm

Porklife wrote: »

Last night over a few beverages, myself and a friend were talking about ex partners and how more often than not, you look back and think "what the hell was I thinking?!" but at the time you most likely (one would hope!) thought they were awesome.

She was telling me how her current boyfriends ex girlfriend is really hot and how much it bothers her but I was thinking that it's inadvertently a compliment as it reflects how you're probably on the same scale looks-wise. If my partners ex was aesthetically really unattractive I think it would bother me more! It also got me thinking that there's gotta be someone out there who has googled (aka cyber stalked) you and thought oh no, he/she used to go out with him/her!

So how do you guys feel about your partners ex being a hottie? Are you fortunate enough to be somebody who doesn't give a **** about these things or are you someone who agonizes over it and compares yourself to the ex? I find it a bit unnerving when I've discovered that I look really similar to the ex but it's two-fold as I also don't particularly like when I look completely different to the ex! Ah relationships, why can't they just be plain sailing and why is hindsight so much better and clearer than rightnowsight (it's a word!)?

My hungover musings on a Thursday morning.

Stop drinking during the week.

redfacedbear · 20-02-2020 11:14pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

The third still bothers me. He was a scrawny “musician” type, shoulder length lank, and greasy, hair, a wispy beard and bad teeth.

I’ve asked her, repeatedly, about this guy but she doesn’t say much, just that he was “nice” and they went out for a short while.

From what I gather he “ended” things with her too, bizarre behaviour from someone who looks like he crawled out of a swamp to be at when he’s with a real “dime piece”.

The thoughts of his gawky “frame” slapping against her still turns my stomach a bit so I try not to think about it too much. But, I mean, really, what I’m earth was she thinking?

For some reason this came to mind:

https://twitter.com/imteddybless/status/1228459983064436736

Rufeo · 21-02-2020 12:35am

When women talk like that I just want to vomit on them.

dinorebel · 21-02-2020 12:39am

Rufeo wrote: »

When women talk like that I just want to vomit on them.

I'm guessing at a complete lack of ex's here.

Rufeo · 21-02-2020 12:41am

dinorebel wrote: »

I'm guessing at a complete lack of ex's here.

I wish.

Still waters · 21-02-2020 12:51am

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I’ve met 3 of my partner’s former “partners”.

2 of them were fine, 1 a “rugby” man, like myself, and the other a burly Dutchman. Big, tall, guys but I’ve been assured that I’m the bigger “man”.

The third still bothers me. He was a scrawny “musician” type, shoulder length lank, and greasy, hair, a wispy beard and bad teeth.

I’ve asked her, repeatedly, about this guy but she doesn’t say much, just that he was “nice” and they went out for a short while.

From what I gather he “ended” things with her too, bizarre behaviour from someone who looks like he crawled out of a swamp to be at when he’s with a real “dime piece”.

The thoughts of his gawky “frame” slapping against her still turns my stomach a bit so I try not to think about it too much. But, I mean, really, what on earth was she thinking?

So much dickheadedness in a single post

Self described "Rugby guy" = tosser

"Assured you're the bigger man = like she hasn't said that to all who sailed on her slippery deck before

"What on earth was she thinking" if he supposedly had nothing going for him maybe it was his massive cock that did it for her

Ficheall · 21-02-2020 1:47am

Candie wrote: »

If someone has an ex, it means they don't want to be with them anymore. If someone is with you, it's because they want you above all others.

Well, that's not necessarily true. Your partner might still want to be with their ex, but the feeling is unrequited, so they're settling for you :P

gmisk · 21-02-2020 1:51am

Rufeo wrote: »

When women talk like that I just want to vomit on them.

I thought it was pretty hilarious.
You might need to look into managing your gag reflex...

PoisonIvyBelle · 21-02-2020 2:27am

I've been on different sides of this. I tend to rate personality more than looks IMO and my type varies based on that but I've definitely ended up dating "up" in terms of sheer hotness a lot of the time. I'm not being self depreciating but it's just a fact.

I have two super hot exes with whom other people have straight out asked me how I managed to get with them. I got this **** from friends and even a random chick in a bar. Out of those two, one had an ex who was a model and looked nothing like me and the other had an ex who was a bit similar looking to me I suppose. But I never felt threatened by the exes and never thought much about them unless they were brought up. Now I'm the ex and I'm still friendly with one of them, and pretty sure his GF has no issue with me, looks wise I'd say we're about the same.

Another ex told me (when we were together) that I wasn't as much his type physically as his ex because he went for skinny women (for the record I'm a size 12 and she was maybe an 8), but that it was okay because I was "kind and good" and that mattered more. Oh and that he wanted to grow up and stop being shallow. He said this with a straight face and thought I should be happy about it.. I am not fcuking kidding. He used to compare aspects of our relationship to theirs an awful lot too whenever something was wrong. This guy was good looking, as in I found him attractive, but I definitely wasn't reaching. Now he's dating a woman about 10 years older than him and she seems lovely but I've seen a few photos and I win on that round.Which is nice, for a change!

Funny the super hot guys never once made me feel lesser than. But the dude with notions of himself felt he had to put me down.

EmmetSpiceland · 21-02-2020 12:38pm

Still waters wrote: »

So much dickheadedness in a single post

Self described "Rugby guy" = tosser

"Assured you're the bigger man = like she hasn't said that to all who sailed on her slippery deck before

"What on earth was she thinking" if he supposedly had nothing going for him maybe it was his massive cock that did it for her

Why don’t you tell us how you really “feel”?
Jeez, some people.

No, I’m taking her “word” for it. I’ve no reason to doubt her and, let’s face it, it’s not like I haven’t heard it before.

I honestly don’t know what this guy had going for him. He was not, in any way, “good looking”. He looked very unhealthy. Smoked those “rollie” cigarettes and really looked like it.

Don’t think he was “packing” either, to be honest, far too skinny. Now, maybe he had me for length, although I highly doubt it, but definitely not for “girth”.

Look, I’d rather not think about him to be honest. The thoughts of them “together“, his skeletal frame and that greasy hair just makes me queasy.

I’ll be convinced I can taste smoke next time I’m, you know, “down there”. Vile.

Assetbacked · 21-02-2020 1:10pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Why don’t you tell us how you really “feel”?
Jeez, some people.

No, I’m taking her “word” for it. I’ve no reason to doubt her and, let’s face it, it’s not like I haven’t heard it before.

I honestly don’t know what this guy had going for him. He was not, in any way, “good looking”. He looked very unhealthy. Smoked those “rollie” cigarettes and really looked like it.

Don’t think he was “packing” either, to be honest, far too skinny. Now, maybe he had me for length, although I highly doubt it, but definitely not for “girth”.

Look, I’d rather not think about him to be honest. The thoughts of them “together“, his skeletal frame and that greasy hair just makes me queasy.

I’ll be convinced I can taste smoke next time I’m, you know, “down there”. Vile.

You should blow your own cigar smoke up "there" next time you're in the vicinity so any future men also note they are kot the first. Like how the frozen bodies on Everest remind you that others have been there before.

Sephiroth_dude · 21-02-2020 1:11pm

Rufeo wrote: »

Stop drinking during the week.

Mod

If you have nothing constructive to add don't bother posting, no need to be so Judgemental

facehugger99 · 21-02-2020 1:30pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I’ve met 3 of my partner’s former “partners”.

2 of them were fine, 1 a “rugby” man, like myself, and the other a burly Dutchman. Big, tall, guys but I’ve been assured that I’m the bigger “man”.

The third still bothers me. He was a scrawny “musician” type, shoulder length lank, and greasy, hair, a wispy beard and bad teeth.

I’ve asked her, repeatedly, about this guy but she doesn’t say much, just that he was “nice” and they went out for a short while.

From what I gather he “ended” things with her too, bizarre behaviour from someone who looks like he crawled out of a swamp to be at when he’s with a real “dime piece”.

The thoughts of his gawky “frame” slapping against her still turns my stomach a bit so I try not to think about it too much. But, I mean, really, what on earth was she thinking?

Way too many inverted commas in this post in general, but surly the word "bigger" should have the inverted commas as opposed to the word "man".

"bigger" would suggest that you're talking about penis size, but putting the quotation marks around the word "man" suggests you're in some kind of transgender or non-binary state.

BuboBubo · 21-02-2020 1:37pm

My husband's ex girlfriend got married to a guy 10 years ago, they split up. Now she's engaged to a lad 20 years younger than her.

She's a nice girl, I wish her the best of luck and hope she finds happiness this time.

21-02-2020 1:43pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

The thoughts of his gawky “frame” slapping against her still turns my stomach a bit so I try not to think about it too much. But, I mean, really, what on earth was she thinking?

Ah, get that out of your mind right now!

What there was was a lot of sweat drenched sliding over her, with a sousant of grinding. And that's just the PG version, you know what I mean!

Hotblack Desiato · 21-02-2020 3:39pm

touts wrote: »

And as I say to my wife I'm flattered that of all the guys she could have had (and she could have had her pick of any one she wanted) she picked me. I felt I was playing out of my league and yet won the league.

The Leicester City of lurrve. :pac:

Tacitus Kilgore · 24-02-2020 11:46am

Porklife wrote: »

You have a beautiful way with words you know that?

Thanks, comes from my work - I write children's books.

Your Partners Ex Partner

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