Your Partners Ex Partner

Porklife

Last night over a few beverages, myself and a friend were talking about ex partners and how more often than not, you look back and think "what the hell was I thinking?!" but at the time you most likely (one would hope!) thought they were awesome.

She was telling me how her current boyfriends ex girlfriend is really hot and how much it bothers her but I was thinking that it's inadvertently a compliment as it reflects how you're probably on the same scale looks-wise. If my partners ex was aesthetically really unattractive I think it would bother me more! It also got me thinking that there's gotta be someone out there who has googled (aka cyber stalked) you and thought oh no, he/she used to go out with him/her!

So how do you guys feel about your partners ex being a hottie? Are you fortunate enough to be somebody who doesn't give a **** about these things or are you someone who agonizes over it and compares yourself to the ex? I find it a bit unnerving when I've discovered that I look really similar to the ex but it's two-fold as I also don't particularly like when I look completely different to the ex! Ah relationships, why can't they just be plain sailing and why is hindsight so much better and clearer than rightnowsight (it's a word!)?

My hungover musings on a Thursday morning.

beejee

"partner" will never not be a very strange name.

It makes me think of business partners, or buddy cop films. It's as nondescript as you can get, you don't even know if it's a man or a woman.

Weird, all day every day.

Martin Lanigan

beejee wrote: »

"partner" will never not be a very strange name.

It makes me think of business partners, or buddy cop films. It's as nondescript as you can get, you don't even know if it's a man or a woman.

Weird, all day every day.

Partner in crime also. Partner in law firm etc.

Hailey Cometh

Are you the resident Carrie Bradshaw on boards or something? All your threads seem to be about your boyfriends or alcohol.

Porklife

Hailey Cometh wrote: »

Are you the resident Carrie Bradshaw on boards or something? All your threads seem to be about your boyfriends or alcohol.

... it was at that moment I realised that Hailey Cometh didn't seem to like me much :pac:

kenmm

Doesn't bother me and I guess the compliment thing is nice way to think of it.
I'm try to be happy if my ex is happy even if we didn't work out (and more than likely because of my crazy.. so looks are not as important!)

EmmetSpiceland

I’ve met 3 of my partner’s former “partners”.

2 of them were fine, 1 a “rugby” man, like myself, and the other a burly Dutchman. Big, tall, guys but I’ve been assured that I’m the bigger “man”.

The third still bothers me. He was a scrawny “musician” type, shoulder length lank, and greasy, hair, a wispy beard and bad teeth.

I’ve asked her, repeatedly, about this guy but she doesn’t say much, just that he was “nice” and they went out for a short while.

From what I gather he “ended” things with her too, bizarre behaviour from someone who looks like he crawled out of a swamp to be at when he’s with a real “dime piece”.

The thoughts of his gawky “frame” slapping against her still turns my stomach a bit so I try not to think about it too much. But, I mean, really, what on earth was she thinking?

Pherekydes

My partner's ex-partner married my ex-partner. :pac:

I married my ex-partner's partner's ex-partner. :pac::pac:

Tacitus Kilgore

I really don't give a fiddlers about exes or that at all.

I've ridden a rake of cunce, she's ridden a rake of cunce, we both decided we like to ride each other the best so we're just gonna ride each other for good.

If someone has an ex, it means they don't want to be with them anymore. If someone is with you, it's because they want you above all others.

Worrying about exes is a waste of energy and seems to lead to negative emotions, which you're better off without. Easier said than done for many, but don't stalk them or agonize over pictures because it never really leads to anything positive.

Pherekydes

Pherekydes wrote: »

My partner's ex-partner married my ex-partner. :pac:

I married my ex-partner's partner's ex-partner. :pac::pac:

Ultimate wifeswap.

skallywag

beejee wrote: »

"partner" will never not be a very strange name.

Have to say I also have strong feelings about that, and I can never bring myself to use it for some reason. That said, I often will get reprimanded for using the term girlfriend, considering we have been together for donkey's years.

For me partner conjurs up an image of Cowboys on horses!

Telly

I have no idea who my exes have been with or are with. Same with my partner, i've no idea what his exes look like, wouldnt even know their surnames to look them up. None of that shíte interests me.

beejee

beejee wrote: »

"partner" will never not be a very strange name.

It makes me think of business partners, or buddy cop films. It's as nondescript as you can get, you don't even know if it's a man or a woman.

Weird, all day every day.

Hate the term being, absolutely detest it.

It's mostly used by people who should be married but are against marriage for a host of bizarre reasons. I hate what the word stands for.

To me the only acceptable terms are boy/girlfriend, fiancé or husband/wife.

Mike Salty Steel

Mike Salty Steel wrote: »

Hate the term being, absolutely detest it.

It's mostly used by people who should be married but are against marriage for a host of bizarre reasons. I hate what the word stands for.

To me the only acceptable terms are boy/girlfriend, fiancé or husband/wife.

Never stop sharing The World According to Nox.

Roadtoad

I love the term 'Eskimo Brother'.

Is there a snappy opposite, or rainbow term?

Tacitus Kilgore

Roadtoad wrote: »

I love the term 'Eskimo Brother'.

Is there a snappy opposite, or rainbow term?

The stirring of the porridge?

Aisling(",)

I'm a bit of a mosey wagon, when I start going out with someone I do check the ex-girlfriends social media pages. I've stopped caring and comparing as much as I've gotten older because they clearly broke up for a reason.

It was a bit horrible to see someones ex who is skinnier/prettier/more exciting than you. I always would think that they'd be comparing them to me.

Hailey Cometh

I actually have no idea who my partner's exes were, names, where they were from etc, and he doesn't know much about mine either, they are just totally irrelevant and neither of us have any baggage, i.e. kids etc. It's something that has bothered me in the past, but now as a 38 year old aul one I just couldn't care less, I just want someone peaceful and no drama. My previous bf to this one years ago used to bang on about their ex, which made me go on about mine, and before you know it we both knew way too much about these things. Best to keep some things to yourself methinks.

Pherekydes

Candie wrote: »

Ultimate wifeswap.

For me anyway. Big upgrade.

Didn't work out quite so well for my ex though. Her partner shuffled off his mortal coil 3 years ago at 63.

No Time To Die.

I knew little about the ex girlfriends of boyfriends past. I just didn't care. Those relationships ended for a reason and I was the person they were with.

Deebles McBeebles

Mike Salty Steel wrote: »

Hate the term being, absolutely detest it.

It's mostly used by people who should be married but are against marriage for a host of bizarre reasons. I hate what the word stands for.

To me the only acceptable terms are boy/girlfriend, fiancé or husband/wife.

What about ride-mate?

"Mother, this fine filly is my ride-mate, Sharon".

corner of hells

One of my ex partners has been married twice, so far,and is now on her third husband.

I'm still friends with one of her brothers and he describes her as a flying cnut

Fr_Dougal

One ex is now married to a guy who’s the spit of me, another married someone who resembles a potato.

mariaalice

My husband says of my first husband...it wouldn't be fair to mock the afflicted.

Been in a funny situation where a woman my ex-husband was seeing for a while works in a garden center I frequent, more or less said how did you put up with him, she also chats away to me and my husband if we are in the garden center.

Strumms

Candie wrote: »

If someone has an ex, it means they don't want to be with them anymore. If someone is with you, it's because they want you above all others.

Worrying about exes is a waste of energy and seems to lead to negative emotions, which you're better off without. Easier said than done for many, but don't stalk them or agonize over pictures because it never really leads to anything positive.

My current other half for a while earlier in the relationship had an issue with me still being friends with an ex on Facebook. Literally from one end of the year to the next the only interaction me and this ex would have would be wishing each other happy birthday, or ‘liking’ a post... it was over and the ex is living in a different country even.

I’ve never even once gone through any girlfriends Facebook friends, interactions they might be having, or otherwise...phone etc.. I just couldn’t care less...I don’t worry or care about my OH the ex’s, pointless waste of energy.

sbsquarepants

Anytime i hear "my partner" i think same sex couple.

That's not my partner, it's my missus:D

As for her exes - i don't think about them at all.

As for my exes partners - god love those poor fúckers, my heart goes out to them:D

touts

My wife and I are both open with each other about our ex "partners" be they serious or casual and I'm very ok with that. It made us the people we are. And as I say to my wife I'm flattered that of all the guys she could have had (and she could have had her pick of any one she wanted) she picked me. I felt I was playing out of my league and yet won the league.

I would have thought that discussing ex's was a no go area for couples so unless you know their ex by other means they are hardly going to be pointing out who their ex's are/

eviltwin

My husband's ex was a stunner. Not just saying that, she was absolutely gorgeous. He definitely traded down when he ended up with me.

ErnestBorgnine

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I’ve met 3 of my partner’s former “partners”.

2 of them were fine, 1 a “rugby” man, like myself, and the other a burly Dutchman. Big, tall, guys but I’ve been assured that I’m the bigger “man”.

The third still bothers me. He was a scrawny “musician” type, shoulder length lank, and greasy, hair, a wispy beard and bad teeth.

I’ve asked her, repeatedly, about this guy but she doesn’t say much, just that he was “nice” and they went out for a short while.

From what I gather he “ended” things with her too, bizarre behaviour from someone who looks like he crawled out of a swamp to be at when he’s with a real “dime piece”.

The thoughts of his gawky “frame” slapping against her still turns my stomach a bit so I try not to think about it too much. But, I mean, really, what I’m earth was she thinking?

Could just be she has a thing for complete ****?