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    #3662
    Bonniedog
    Registered Users Posts: 6,665 ✭✭✭Bonniedog


    One of my worst relapses started after 6 months off on a similar wanting just a bit of time out. Had made up my mind just to have a few pints. Took me a good while to get back to where I was.


    We are all different but my advice for what it is worth is by all means spend time with your Da and give him a break, but you don't have to drink. And drinking from a mindset of thinking you just need a break and that you can pick up where you left off is dangerous.


    I know I couldn't and it was a lesson learned the hard way. Sorry to hear about your Da and hope you have some good time together but think long about having to drink as part of that.


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    #3663
    Foweva Awone
    Registered Users Posts: 1,740 ✭✭✭Foweva Awone


    14 months now. :)

    I'm doing a CE scheme in the treatment centre where I finally got recovery, and it is so good for me being to be constantly around people in active addiction and early recovery. I've so much gratitude every single day to be where I am.

    I'm seriously considering working in the services long-term - I know it's a bit of a cliché, but who cares really if it's the right path for me, and if my experiences can help others.

    For now I'm just enjoying life. :)


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    #3664
    Amazingfun
    Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    Bonniedog wrote: »
    One of my worst relapses started after 6 months off on a similar wanting just a bit of time out. Had made up my mind just to have a few pints. Took me a good while to get back to where I was.


    We are all different but my advice for what it is worth is by all means spend time with your Da and give him a break, but you don't have to drink. And drinking from a mindset of thinking you just need a break and that you can pick up where you left off is dangerous.


    I know I couldn't and it was a lesson learned the hard way. Sorry to hear about your Da and hope you have some good time together but think long about having to drink as part of that.



    You've really come a long way, Bonnie. It's great to see :)


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    #3665
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    I genuinely wasn't sure how long I was off drink, whether it was New Year's Day 2014 or 2015. So that's undoubtedly a good sign. My first post here confirms it was New Year's Day 2014 so that means today I'm 1849 days off alcohol. The most stupid hole I ever fell into. Bar none. Wasted years full of stupid ideas that made "fun" dependent on drinking alcohol. Like a different planet now. I genuinely never miss it - life's far too busy and I want to do so much now that I'm much more aware of how short it is!

    Great to see some old names still here living fuller lives. Beir bua!


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    #3666
    Bonniedog
    Registered Users Posts: 6,665 ✭✭✭Bonniedog


    Amazingfun wrote: »
    You've really come a long way, Bonnie. It's great to see :)

    Thanks. I still read the page but seldom post.

    Was a great help to me over the years it took me to finally get it off my back.


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    #3667
    drydub
    Registered Users Posts: 111 ✭✭drydub


    drydub wrote: »
    10 months and 22 days today.
    Cruising.
    But life has come at me hard. My dad has a terminal diagnosis and it's a case of when :(
    I'm heart broken and all I want to do is go for a pint with him. We talk about it and he would love it and he's hospital bound and we are trying to work on him getting out of hospital so he can get some air and experience life for one last time. I suppose my head is battling all the emotions that are going on and aside from the pint id love to share with my dad i just want to escape from my head. End rant.

    So my dad passed away last week. Which I am distraught about. In the end I spent some great time with him in his final week. He was bed ridden but did in his final days ask for a glass of Guinness which I gave him and he asked me to have one. Which I did. And enjoyed it as it was great to share that moment of 'normality' with him before he declined.
    He joked about it not being a break in my dry time. He had a bit of a second glass and I didn't have any more.
    I've survived his wake and funeral completely sober which I'm happy with. And have no want to drink to battle the heart break.


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    #3668
    votecounts
    Registered Users Posts: 2,617 ✭✭✭votecounts


    drydub wrote: »
    So my dad passed away last week. Which I am distraught about. In the end I spent some great time with him in his final week. He was bed ridden but did in his final days ask for a glass of Guinness which I gave him and he asked me to have one. Which I did. And enjoyed it as it was great to share that moment of 'normality' with him before he declined.
    He joked about it not being a break in my dry time. He had a bit of a second glass and I didn't have any more.
    I've survived his wake and funeral completely sober which I'm happy with. And have no want to drink to battle the heart break.

    Sorry for your trouble, fair play for staying sober and long may it continue


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    #3669
    ifeelstupid
    Registered Users Posts: 443 ✭✭ifeelstupid


    drydub wrote: »
    So my dad passed away last week. Which I am distraught about. In the end I spent some great time with him in his final week. He was bed ridden but did in his final days ask for a glass of Guinness which I gave him and he asked me to have one. Which I did. And enjoyed it as it was great to share that moment of 'normality' with him before he declined.
    He joked about it not being a break in my dry time. He had a bit of a second glass and I didn't have any more.
    I've survived his wake and funeral completely sober which I'm happy with. And have no want to drink to battle the heart break.

    So sorry to hear this. I've been sober for almost 16 years and have had many trials and tribulations in the time since my last drink.

    My da died quite suddenly about a year after I stopped drinking, it was the most horrendous time for me because we were very close. Never once did I feel the need/want for a drink. I held on to the fact that he had seen me sober and had told me many times that he was very proud that I had got there.

    It will take time for you to get over this, but you will and there is nothing about it that a drink will make better.

    When the dark days come look back at the good times and the lovely memories of being able to be with your dad to the end and remember how proud he would be of you too.


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    #3670
    mikeecho
    Registered Users Posts: 5,040 ✭✭✭mikeecho


    drydub wrote: »
    So my dad passed away last week. Which I am distraught about. In the end I spent some great time with him in his final week. He was bed ridden but did in his final days ask for a glass of Guinness which I gave him and he asked me to have one. Which I did. And enjoyed it as it was great to share that moment of 'normality' with him before he declined.
    He joked about it not being a break in my dry time. He had a bit of a second glass and I didn't have any more.
    I've survived his wake and funeral completely sober which I'm happy with. And have no want to drink to battle the heart break.

    My sincere condolences on the passing of your father , and congratulations on your strength and courage.


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    #3671
    notfromhere
    Registered Users Posts: 326 ✭✭notfromhere


    2 days sober,


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    #3672
    notfromhere
    Registered Users Posts: 326 ✭✭notfromhere


    On librium and Antabuse , Just started them today.Had my first AA meeting which was great, going again tomorrow Going to be a really hard struggle as i have been kicked out of the house, this is all my fault when am drinking i don't care about anyone just how much drink i can get into myself, So at the moment am in a hotel till Saturday then homeless It can't get any worse can it Am finding it really hard with the breakup worrying about Saturday, and trying not to drink.


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    #3673
    notfromhere
    Registered Users Posts: 326 ✭✭notfromhere


    No drink since saturday, Been going to AA twice a day and for that hour its Pease, But am really struggling think about it all the time Knew it was going to be hard, but not like this, home life is gone and am really down i just want to drink with the Antubse and end it i can cope.But am still going to my meeting at 8.30.


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    #3674
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    notfromhere wrote:
    On librium and Antabuse , Just started them today.Had my first AA meeting which was great, going again tomorrow Going to be a really hard struggle as i have been kicked out of the house, this is all my fault when am drinking i don't care about anyone just how much drink i can get into myself, So at the moment am in a hotel till Saturday then homeless It can't get any worse can it Am finding it really hard with the breakup worrying about Saturday, and trying not to drink.

    Keep going pal. You can do this. I'm back on the wagon. Two days only though but feeling optimistic. We are all here for each other


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    #3675
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    notfromhere wrote: »
    No drink since saturday, Been going to AA twice a day and for that hour its Pease, But am really struggling think about it all the time Knew it was going to be hard, but not like this, home life is gone and am really down i just want to drink with the Antubse and end it i can cope.But am still going to my meeting at 8.30.

    Recommend you read a few books as well. Dont wait for them to be delivered, go into Easons and Waterstones and look at buying the naked mind from Annie Grace, its similar to Allen Carr but a good place to start. It helps break down the brain washing in your head


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    #3676
    Sigma Force
    Registered Users Posts: 5,132 ✭✭✭Sigma Force


    Look in to rehab maybe?


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    #3677
    Amazingfun
    Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    notfromhere wrote: »
    No drink since saturday, Been going to AA twice a day and for that hour its Pease, But am really struggling think about it all the time Knew it was going to be hard, but not like this, home life is gone and am really down i just want to drink with the Antubse and end it i can cope.But am still going to my meeting at 8.30.

    Every alcoholic has to go through this, as I am sure you know by others sharing their experience in meetings. It isn't fun, but if you persevere you won't ever have to go through early sobriety again. If you do not, this will just become a loop of hell, repeating every few months, and that's if you are lucky. Many alcoholics still die due to alcoholism. Hard to remember sometimes that this is a fatal illness.

    I am sober now many years, thank God, (17 years this week in fact!) but I too was a relapser and I know from my own experience what a horrorshow it is having to get sober AGAIN. However, many of us have traveled the path and come out the other side, which means you can too. That is if you do what we have done.

    I found the internet to be a brilliant tool in helping me recover, here's a Big Book study that showed me how to take the steps, and much to my surprise, it worked, lol. It was so good for those middle of the night head-wrecks when my mind was racing and there were no meetings on.

    Might be of interest:


    I'll be praying for you and if I can help in any way, shoot me a dm.

    A.


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    #3678
    notfromhere
    Registered Users Posts: 326 ✭✭notfromhere


    Hi Lads, Thanks for all the support, Am one week sober today, Feel a lot better this morning, Am looking about getting into rehab as well.Its hard but am going to two meetings a day, and for that hour its so peaceful Will keep you guys updated as much as i can, But again thank you for all the support.


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    #3679
    Bonniedog
    Registered Users Posts: 6,665 ✭✭✭Bonniedog


    One week is a significant milestone.

    You should be over the physical withdrawals or threat of them and in many ways its the most difficult part. So well done and best of luck.


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    #3680
    Schwanz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 898 ✭✭✭Schwanz


    First weekend off it in a long long time.

    Usually sweating in the bed now and fearing the six o'clock rise.

    Feels good


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    #3681
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    notfromhere wrote: »
    Hi Lads, Thanks for all the support, Am one week sober today, Feel a lot better this morning, Am looking about getting into rehab as well.Its hard but am going to two meetings a day, and for that hour its so peaceful Will keep you guys updated as much as i can, But again thank you for all the support.

    You should really keep a notepad and write down your feelings of the last week.

    In a few weeks when you want to drink, pull out that notepad and it will quickly evaporate those rose tinted glasses that it wasn't as bad as you think.

    You need to keep yourself busy, pick what you used to enjoy or start something new, something that will focus the mind.

    Time is a healer if you let it be and people do forgive when they see the effort you are making


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    #3682
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Nothing harder than starting again chief. I had to do it myself last week. You are over the worst part. Just try to stay strong and be proud of yourself


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    #3683
    tusk
    Registered Users Posts: 5,882 ✭✭✭tusk


    Just found this thread! I've been off it now for about 9 and a half months. I initially stopped because I became very ill and pegged the drink as one of the contributors.

    As the months have gone on I've realised that maybe that wasn't the case, but there's still a slight fear that any alcohol will send me back that way.

    I sometimes get a craving when I spy a pint or smell some wine, but then I think of how close I am to the year and that focusses me back on track.

    Generally though I don't miss it. I definitely don't miss the 2 or 3 day hangovers. And while I don't think it's had as much a health benefit as I had previiously expected, I can definitely notice that my day to day is somewhat healthier without it.

    Nice to find a thread where I can chat about this without being looked at like a madman.


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    #3684
    Cushtie
    Registered Users Posts: 699 ✭✭✭Cushtie


    Just tipped over the 8 year mark there over the last few days. Anyone starting on the way just stick with it. One day becomes two, becomes a week, a fortnight, then a month. Before you Know it a year has passed and you stop counting.


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    #3685
    Chancer3001
    Registered Users Posts: 5,480 ✭✭✭Chancer3001


    Contemplating year no beer


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    #3686
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Chancer3001 wrote: »
    Contemplating year no beer

    dont contemplate, just do it


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    #3687
    The Enbalmer
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,001 ✭✭✭The Enbalmer


    14 weeks sober today. Helped kick a 30 year binge drinking habit with the help of the Employee Assistance Programme in work who sourced me an addiction councillor and AA meetings.

    I realised numerous times over the years that my drinking wasn't normal but I could always come back to normal after a few days sober and convince myself things were okay.
    Had a very bad run in the last 3 years,two family deaths,a horrific suicide I attended as a first wider,a couple of broken relationships and the suicide of my ex.

    I've always had an outward emotional detachment from my problems but inwardly things were getting to me and my drinking reached new levels when I started taking holidays alone abroad.
    I could sniff out heavy drinkers anywhere on earth and would be drinking from 7am to 4am with two hours nap time in between. Often I'd drink 25 pints and a bottle of spirits in a day and continue this for a week.
    When I got home I'd be physically drained,not eating and suffering terrible insomnia which gave rise to irritability and anxiety...as a result I wasn't popular at work or with my family and with the awareness of that I'd drink more than ever at home.
    I had a polish housemate who literally had booze in bags all round the house and I'd often start drinking that when I ran out.

    I started my final binge after going sick from work and hanging out in my fleapit local with the fellow alcoholics from 10.30am when the pub opened. I did that for 5 days straight and also drank 6 bottles of spirits in that time. I've always kept fit,attended gym etc and I realised I wasn't eating to negate the effect of all the calories from drinking (as I saw it)..felt weak and sick and my grip on reality was slowly fading as I embraced the lifestyle of a fulltime drinker.
    I thin ultimately what saved me was somebody I no longer talked to had made enquiries about me and found from talking to people that I was in the pub all day for a week.
    He cared enough about me to ring a few of my friends to say he was worried about me and one rang my 'estranged ' sister who rang me in tears to try and get me to seek help.

    I did,thank God and I've been sober since.


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    #3688
    tinpib
    Registered Users Posts: 4,473 ✭✭✭tinpib


    That's a very honest account, Enbalmer. Glad to hear things are improving for you.


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    #3689
    The Enbalmer
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,001 ✭✭✭The Enbalmer


    The Enbalmer wrote:
    14 weeks sober today. Helped kick a 30 year binge drinking habit with the help of the Employee Assistance Programme in work who sourced me an addiction councillor and AA meetings.

    tinpib wrote:
    That's a very honest account, Enbalmer. Glad to hear things are improving for you.

    Thank you for the kind words.
    I think what helped more than anything was my councillor who focused on alcohol as being the root cause of my problems. He refused to be side tracked by my desire to talk about all my underlying issues and initially I found him to be very cold.
    I discovered he had a method in his madness as he wanted me to abstain completely from alcohol as my No 1 priority,not to try and justify my drinking..I had to stop first..THEN we started to chat about emotional matters which became much easier the longer I stayed sober.
    I discovered after 4 weeks my sleep had improved, my anxiety disappeared and my diet was back to normal,I've built bridges with people I'd previously fallen out with and suddenly discovered I'm not short tempered after all.
    For me,alcohol became a curse and as it became progressive, drinking was ultimately negatively impacting on ALL aspects of my life.

    I always remember the AA saying:
    T
    "The man took a drink
    The drink took a drink
    The drink took a man"


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    #3690
    Hedgelayer
    Registered Users Posts: 530 ✭✭✭Hedgelayer


    The Enbalmer wrote: »
    Thank you for the kind words.
    I think what helped more than anything was my councillor who focused on alcohol as being the root cause of my problems. He refused to be side tracked by my desire to talk about all my underlying issues and initially I found him to be very cold.
    I discovered he had a method in his madness as he wanted me to abstain completely from alcohol as my No 1 priority,not to try and justify my drinking..I had to stop first..THEN we started to chat about emotional matters which became much easier the longer I stayed sober.
    I discovered after 4 weeks my sleep had improved, my anxiety disappeared and my diet was back to normal,I've built bridges with people I'd previously fallen out with and suddenly discovered I'm not short tempered after all.
    For me,alcohol became a curse and as it became progressive, drinking was ultimately negatively impacting on ALL aspects of my life.

    I always remember the AA saying:
    T
    "The man took a drink
    The drink took a drink
    The drink took a man"

    AA is ok for someone who accepts guidance from an unprofessional who could be as mad as a box of frog's.

    I am very sceptical about 12 step programme's and their Christian root's.

    I've friends who were in AA and they say it made them a worse person sober than they were when drunk.

    I'm told AA is full of misfits, weirdos, and the good old crossing your boundaries I just want an inappropriate hug kind of ilk.

    I read a lot about it, and strangely enough people who left AA for the right reasons are way my happier without it.

    I think it only has a 5% success rate.
    But the bleeding deacon's of AA will say its Only the chosen few who'll make it.

    Look If you're going to drink nothing is going to stop you.
    Good luck with your journey.
    But be wary of those parasite's in AA I'd say 5% of them are sane the rest are nuts.


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    #3691
    The Enbalmer
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,001 ✭✭✭The Enbalmer


    AA is what it is,it's a bunch of people who have suffered as a result of alcoholism and it's a support group as such.
    I personally havnt been following the 12 principles as some of the ideas are a bit nebulous (remember this was founded in the 30s).
    The group's contain very few nutters in my experience but that could well depend on the area..some people are decidedly more ****ed up than others but that's drinking for you.
    There's no particular Christian influence but they refer to "God as we understand it"..I think that's fair enough,a lot of people benefit from some form of spirituality so as long as there's no attempts to get people to join a cult I don't see the problem really.
    I don't know about % of successful adherents but most of my group are sober 10 years or more.
    I guess it is what it is,if it helps it shouldn't be decried.


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