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average recession wedding gift??

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Comments

  • #352
    John Mason
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 10,661 ✭✭✭✭John Mason


    campo wrote: »
    But playing devils advocate if it was a funeral and the family asked for no flowers or dontation only to some charity you would not be offended.
    But if a couple getting married who has no use of gifts wheter it be toasters or otherwise state that they would prefer money as a gift people get there nose up.

    thats not comparing like with like though unless you have registered yourself as a charity. if you have by all means send a copy of your CHY with your invites


  • #353
    kandr10
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,601 ✭✭✭kandr10


    campo wrote: »
    kandr10 wrote: »
    I didn't say that it wasn't.

    I'm saying people give gifts for lots of occasions so why would you put in special requests (ie money only) for a wedding when it's not done otherwise.


    But playing devils advocate if it was a funeral and the family asked for no flowers or dontation only to some charity you would not be offended.
    But if a couple getting married who has no use of gifts wheter it be toasters or otherwise state that they would prefer money as a gift people get there nose up.

    I spoke to a few guest who will be attending my wedding over the weeked and told them straight out not to buy a present that if they did want to give anything and they did not have to ( infact a few I told flat out give nothing as they cant affod anything ) to give cash in a card and they were delighted at this as most of them said they would not have a clue what to buy us anyway so suits everyone.

    Now I know it does not work this way for every wedding but if I was invited to a wedding and couple asked for just cash I would not mind I would just give the same amount of cash that I would have spent on their present better going to them then brown thomas or where ever
    Well you've made a good point - funeral is only acceptable time to say you would prefer one thing over another.


  • #354
    Diddler1977
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,765 ✭✭✭Diddler1977


    eyescreamcone wrote: »
    It is traditional to give a wedding present.
    If you didn't bring a present you would be unusual.

    It is traditional to give a gift at weddings but it is not traditional to "pay for your meal"


  • #355
    amdublin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,653 ✭✭✭✭amdublin


    campo wrote: »
    But playing devils advocate if it was a funeral and the family asked for no flowers or dontation only to some charity you would not be offended.
    But if a couple getting married who has no use of gifts wheter it be toasters or otherwise state that they would prefer money as a gift people get there nose up.

    I spoke to a few guest who will be attending my wedding over the weeked and told them straight out not to buy a present that if they did want to give anything and they did not have to ( infact a few I told flat out give nothing as they cant affod anything ) to give cash in a card and they were delighted at this as most of them said they would not have a clue what to buy us anyway so suits everyone.

    Now I know it does not work this way for every wedding but if I was invited to a wedding and couple asked for just cash I would not mind I would just give the same amount of cash that I would have spent on their present better going to them then brown thomas or where ever

    But flowers at a funeral aren't really a "gift"...


  • #356
    MazG
    Closed Accounts Posts: 237 ✭✭MazG


    campo wrote: »
    But playing devils advocate if it was a funeral and the family asked for no flowers or dontation only to some charity you would not be offended.
    But if a couple getting married who has no use of gifts wheter it be toasters or otherwise state that they would prefer money as a gift people get there nose up.

    I spoke to a few guest who will be attending my wedding over the weeked and told them straight out not to buy a present that if they did want to give anything and they did not have to ( infact a few I told flat out give nothing as they cant affod anything ) to give cash in a card and they were delighted at this as most of them said they would not have a clue what to buy us anyway so suits everyone.

    Now I know it does not work this way for every wedding but if I was invited to a wedding and couple asked for just cash I would not mind I would just give the same amount of cash that I would have spent on their present better going to them then brown thomas or where ever

    Interesting point about the funeral issue, but I agree with amdublin that flowers at a funeral aren't a gift in the same sense as a birthday or wedding gift.

    As for the rest of your post. I don't have any problem at all with you responding honestly to your guests when asked what your preference for a gift would be because 1) if a guest says 'I'm getting you a wedding present, do you have any preference?' then you are not being rude by assuming that they must give a present and 2) you are answering a direct question truthfully.

    Would it get my back up if a couple made clear their wish for cash (or other) as a present before being asked. Yes. Would I go so far as to go "Humph, X&Y are being rude, so I will teach them a lesson and buy them a hideous gift"? Probably not. Might be tempted though, depending on the couple in question ;)


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