Why do you want/ not want children?

username123 wrote: »

Here is one such thought:
I find babies gross, the drool, the runny noses, the nappies, etc... I really cringe if someone tries to make me kiss their baby - it makes my skin crawl - genuinely it does. Now I dont say to my friends personally "please keep your baby away I find them disgusting" because I know theyd be offended. But I should be allowed to say it here, on a discussion forum - not pertaining to anyones baby in particular. I cant help this cringey reaction. Im grand generally with bodily gross stuff but the whole saliva fingers and drool thing and then being expected to kiss them - I really really do not like it. I have driven around the corner and stopped the car and vomited out the door having been forced to kiss someones baby - its that visceral a reaction. If people find that offensive Im sorry for them, but I cant help how I feel and I think that I should be allowed to say that - even if some people dont like it.

I thinks thats really honest! (and funny)!! I can completely relate to this, while I haven't vomited I have been completely grossed out by holding kids that have puked or drooled on me One of my extended family members finds it hilarious how uncomfortable I am around kids and gives me one to hold at every opportunity. You can't say "no thanks, I think they're gross" so I end up holding the poor child praying someone will save me!

But then again I have a cat, who wanders around all my kitchen counters and other people find that gross!! :P Each to their own!!

I'd love children. I just think they are great, have met some really great kids you just want to kidnap! And I know some friends of mine who have had children and just seem so happy now, even if they weren't planned. I get very broody when I see kids around and even on TV. I just feel like I have a lot of love to give or something

Kinda not sure though. It'll be a couple of year till I'm fully qualified in my job to even think seriously about it, but I suffer from anxiety and stress a lot, not sure how good of a mother I'd really make.

bluewolf wrote: »

That's funny
I always ask my baby cousins if I can have a hug
If they don't want to that's like okay cool
I never thought about it, just do it that way

I would ask beforehand too because
some kids don't like it. My father, without thinking, said to my niece give a family friend(who happens to be a farmer who had been working before he called) a kiss goodbye. Her reply......'no, he's dirty!'

I don't really foist my baby on others for hugs and kisses either because I know some people don't like them/feel awkward around them. I used to be awkward around babies myself before I had her. A baby would be shoved into your arms and you would be wondering what was the appropriate amount of time to hold him/her so as not to look rude/hog her. I find most people will ask if they want to hold her anyway.

Lou.m wrote: »

I know some women manage career and motherhood.'t know how. But I don't know how they deal with guilt.

How do the stay at home mothers deal with guilt that they are placing themselves and their children in more financially unsecure position, very dependant on their partner, which can be incredibly tricky if there is also domestic violence? And in case of their partners death or some some of accident are very often too long from labour market to walk easily back into a job? I don't know what is this obsession with thinking that women with children should by default just follow some Catholic ideal of self sacrifice. Stay at home mothers were the single biggest culture shock for me when I moved over here. I know I probably insulted the other half of the forum but for someone who comes from a country where women work in paid employment regardless of their financial or family situation, this kind of thing really is incomprehensible. People should be able to stay at home if it makes sense for them (financially and emotionally) but it should not be hailed as some kind of ideal. I don't think children where parents work are any more damaged, it is probably also less likely they will become long term dole offenders.

Oh and I am not going back to the previous argument, I would just like to say that I am not patronising towards all childFREE people just towards those who go on about cute kittens when they talk about children. I haven't notice anybody saying that they would rather have a dog than parents.

Would really like children if possible, I won't let it define me though if I can't. I like kids and love my friends kids, but seriously sometimes the amount on pictures on social media...I log in and its like an onslaught!!

meeeeh wrote: »

I am not a great fan of social media anyway. I try to keep that aspect of my life very private. I have a drop box account and my mother and some other relatives are allowed to share certain files but I do not post any pictures on FB or any other public forum. I'm not overly interested in other people's photos (any kind with a few exceptions) and I like to keep certain things private.

As for animals, I have no problem talking about animals, I love our dog and ten years later I still talk about my 'no balls one eyed' cat who is a legend.

Good for you, I actually think it's weird to upload all these baby photos. There are kids I've never even met who I feel I know as their parents have uploaded daily updates of their lives. It's weird.

In fairness small kids and pet comparison is easy to do. I am just back to London after a visit home, I was telling my dad and brother how I couldn't do the kids thing, after watching my bro clean up after my nephews I declared kids are too much work I'll stick with my cat!

I get home and the cat is so annoyed with me he pisses all over the bed, spent ages washing mattress and covers, my dad thought this was hilarious, he was like hhmmm yeah pets are less work than kids,sure!! :P

I find it funny when people get offended by the child pet comparison, why would it bother a parent how I view my pet or their children? Its back to perspective, even if I view my cat as equal to a child what difference does that make to the child? How is it insulting? For some people its the same instincts that drive their nurturing of a child as with a pet. Each to their own.