What's the craic with Tinder?

12-07-2020 6:25pm #1

Was out tonight and my friend's girlfriend insisted on me joining it since I'm single since last year. A shlte photo, no bio, nothing. She took the phone and went wild.

How does it even all work? I have a notification already about some Like that is asking me to pay money every month to see who likes me. Seems pretty absurd. She swiped on everything for the craic and started a conversation with some girl as well who I am guessing isn't even real.

I genuinely don't know anything about this. Some of my friends get the ride out of it but is it worth pursuing for something more serious?

Purple Mountain · 12-07-2020 6:29pm

I think your question is 'What's the crack with Tinder?'

Mongfinder General · 12-07-2020 6:32pm

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/gay-man-tinder-tricked-straight-13327740.amp

It's a zoo. You'll need to be careful. Loads of horror stories.

Brian Hartman · 12-07-2020 6:55pm

Mongfinder General wrote: »

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/gay-man-tinder-tricked-straight-13327740.amp

It's a zoo. You'll need to be careful. Loads of horror stories.

How much of a virgin do you have to be to fall for that scam above?

As for Tinder, just be tall and extremely handsome to get the most out of it.

mick087 · 12-07-2020 6:59pm

Its a dating app people use it to meet for dates and form relationships.
I hear people talking about this and plenty in fish and bumble.

I guess its the way folk meet these days, the days of asking for a slow dance at the end of the night have gone

Church on Tuesday · 12-07-2020 7:07pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Was out tonight and my friend's girlfriend insisted on me joining it since I'm single since last year. A shlte photo, no bio, nothing. She took the phone and went wild.

How does it even all work? I have a notification already about some Like that is asking me to pay money every month to see who likes me. Seems pretty absurd. She swiped on everything for the craic and started a conversation with some girl as well who I am guessing isn't even real.

I genuinely don't know anything about this. Some of my friends get the ride out of it but is it worth pursuing for something more serious?

The answer to this is No.

It, like other "dating" apps, are trying to sell you the illusion that "the one" could be just around the corner. He/she is not.

It's an ego boost for those who require that and that's about it.

Feisar · 12-07-2020 7:07pm

Brian Hartman wrote: »

How much of a virgin do you have to be to fall for that scam above?

As for Tinder, just be tall and extremely handsome to get the most out of it.

It's just another string to ones bow. I wouldn't be overthinking it.

12-07-2020 7:13pm

Stick with the personal ads in the farmers journal. Can’t go wrong.

Elessar · 12-07-2020 7:19pm

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

The answer to this is No.

It, like other "dating" apps, are trying to sell you the illusion that "the one" could be just around the corner. He/she is not.

It's an ego boost for those who require that and that's about it.

What a sad and bitter outlook. Completely untrue.

I met my ex on Tinder. We were together for two and a half years. And another mate of mine met his wife on a similar one.

Between Tinder and Bumble I've met some great people. Some dates go nowhere, some you meet up for a time and it fades out, some you get the ride and that's all either of you want, sometimes it gets to the FWB stage and sometimes you meet someone where you both really click and want the same things and get a relationship out of it. Just like in real life. I've been through all of these and have no regrets.

I'm extremely grateful to Tinder that I met my ex there. We never would have met in a million years if it wasn't for it and I'm a better person because of it. Single now and having fun just going on dates and seeing where it goes

Personally I would absolutely recommend it.

Ultrflat · 12-07-2020 7:21pm

Elessar wrote: »

What a sad and bitter outlook. Completely untrue.

And another mate of mine met his wife on a similar one.

Meet my xwife on tinder.

Were great friends it didn't work out.

Tinder is great crack completely agree with you :cool:

12-07-2020 7:23pm

Brian Hartman wrote: »

How much of a virgin do you have to be to fall for that scam above?

As for Tinder, just be tall and extremely handsome to get the most out of it.

I think it's mainly targeted towards older men who aren't particularly familiar with online scams, and maybe their wish for the dream woman is clouding their judgement.

I was working with an older guy once, who was getting messages from a "woman" in Belarus who wanted to come to Ireland, and kept telling him how handsome he was despite the fact that his profile didn't even have a photograph. He was totally into it, and he kept telling everyone on the yard where we worked to join Plenty of Fish -- 'you wouldn't believe the stunner I'm chatting to'.

He really became annoyed when myself and another guy tried to explain it was probably some middle-aged, bald dude with prison tattoos, using stolen photographs. But there was no convincing him. At some point I think he started believing she was his girlfriend because he'd bring her into conversations 'Nastassia always says...' or 'I'll have to go on a diet when Nastassia comes'. I assume he got burnt in the end. Scammers like that who abuse people's innocence are a special kind of bad bastard.

That was years ago, though. I'd say the general level of awareness about dating scams has massively improved.

Church on Tuesday · 12-07-2020 7:24pm

Elessar wrote: »

What a sad and bitter outlook. Completely untrue.

I met my ex on Tinder. We were together for two and a half years. And another mate of mine met his wife on a similar one.

Between Tinder and Bumble I've met some great people. Some dates go nowhere, some you meet up for a time and it fades out, some you get the ride and that's all either of you want, sometimes it gets to the FWB stage and sometimes you meet someone where you both really click and want the same things and get a relationship out of it. Just like in real life. I've been through all of these and have no regrets.

I'm extremely grateful to Tinder that I met my ex there. We never would have met in a million years if it wasn't for it and I'm a better person because of it. Single now and having fun just going on dates and seeing where it goes

Personally I would absolutely recommend it.

I'm guessing you are a woman?

Yes, for some people it's grand, for the vast majority it's a waste of time. A person is far better dating in real life IMO.

It depends what you are looking to get out of it.

unhappys10 · 12-07-2020 7:29pm

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

I'm guessing you are a woman?

Yes, for some people it's grand, for the vast majority it's a waste of time. A person is far better dating in real life IMO.

It depends what you are looking to get out of it.

Rubbish, it's the 21st century. Meeting someone online allows a period of texting/chatting which gives you a much better idea of what they are like than if you meet in a crowded pub with drink involved.
I met a girl on POF 5 years ago, we're married 2 years and have a 1 year old daughter.
Couldn't have asked for a better partner and we never would have met if it wasn't for online dating.

Elessar · 12-07-2020 7:31pm

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

I'm guessing you are a woman?

Yes, for some people it's grand, for the vast majority it's a waste of time. A person is far better dating in real life IMO.

It depends what you are looking to get out of it.

No I'm a guy. When you think about it, it is dating in real life. You're meeting up. IMO it's far better than talking to a girl in a bar or club as you're not competing for her attention. I hate that. When she's with you, you've got her full attention.

I would say go in with an open mind and just have fun, don't put pressure on yourself or the other person, dating is supposed to be fun. Have a good time, don't take it too seriously until the other person has demonstrated they want to (and you want to), and try not to take rejection personally.

Oh and don't text forever, ask the other person out on a date fairly soonish, constant texting is an attraction & mystery killer. The whole point is to meet them

Ultrflat · 12-07-2020 7:31pm

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

I'm guessing you are a woman?

Yes, for some people it's grand, for the vast majority it's a waste of time. A person is far better dating in real life IMO.

It depends what you are looking to get out of it.

You sound very serious, do you take tinder seriously?

I had a pretty wild few nights with a chick from tinder, kinky/fetish/dirty'st night of my life.

I won't lie I enjoyed every minute of it

theintern · 12-07-2020 7:33pm

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

The answer to this is No.

It, like other "dating" apps, are trying to sell you the illusion that "the one" could be just around the corner. He/she is not.

It's an ego boost for those who require that and that's about it.

Nonsense. It's a way to meet people you might like. You get out of it what you put into it. I met my current partner on it, we've been together for 4 years and we're planning to get married and buy a house.

If that's your outlook, then the issue is you, not the apps.

SusieBlue · 12-07-2020 7:34pm

I met my ex of 4 years on tinder. Whether you are looking for something serious or more casual, you will find it there. It isn’t just for hook ups or for the ultra good looking people at all.

Elessar · 12-07-2020 7:36pm

Ultrflat wrote: »

You sound very serious, do you take tinder seriously?

I had a pretty wild few nights with a chick from tinder, kinky/fetish/dirty'st night of my life.

I won't lie I enjoyed every minute of it

Nice. Absolutely, you wouldn't believe were some dates can lead you

12-07-2020 7:38pm

What's the craic with finding a Russian bride these days?..

12-07-2020 7:38pm

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

I think it's mainly targeted towards older men who aren't particularly familiar with online scams, and maybe their wish for the dream woman is clouding their judgement.

I was working with an older guy once, who was getting messages from a "woman" in Belarus who wanted to come to Ireland, and kept telling him how handsome he was despite the fact that his profile didn't even have a photograph. He was totally into it, and he kept telling everyone on the yard where we worked to join Plenty of Fish -- 'you wouldn't believe the stunner I'm chatting to'.

He really became annoyed when myself and another guy tried to explain it was probably some middle-aged, bald dude with prison tattoos, using stolen photographs. But there was no convincing him. At some point I think he started believing she was his girlfriend because he'd bring her into conversations 'Nastassia always says...' or 'I'll have to go on a diet when Nastassia comes'. I assume he got burnt in the end. Scammers like that who abuse people's innocence are a special kind of bad bastard.

That was years ago, though. I'd say the general level of awareness about dating scams has massively improved.

Theres a new scam now I've came across twice.

They will engage with you for brief periods and try to talk to you on something personal(WhatsApp, Kik).
They'll usually admit they're from a different country but they're globe trotters and could visit your one very easy.

After a few days they'll try to get you to invest in bitcoin.

The first time I saw it "she" kept saying she traded bitcoin and when it was first mentioned i knew where it was going so humoured them with conversation but avoided any bitcoin talk.
After a few days of me avoiding asking I was asked straight out "for e500 you could make blah blah". I guess they got sick of trying to get me to ask about it.

A second aspect to the scam was they try to get your full name and i was asked if I was married. My guess is they'll try to honey trap a married man and blackmail them if they cant work their bitcoin scam. This aspect probably catches more men out than the former.

My second incident they told me "they were watching the financial news and they thought the future might be in crypto with covid" I told them "look if you're trying to get me to send money you can save your time as I wouldn't give a homeless person a cent" and they said they weren't and they were going to tell me never to send money to strangers.
A day later the WhatsApp picture was gone.

It's like a phishing scam but it's a real person as opposed to a generic email.

Theres a lot of red flags so anyone with a brain will see them straight off but I could see them catching people out as they try to get you to engage on the topic first.

Church on Tuesday · 12-07-2020 7:38pm

Elessar wrote: »

No I'm a guy. When you think about it, it is dating in real life. You're meeting up. IMO it's far better than talking to a girl in a bar or club as you're not competing for her attention. I hate that. When she's with you, you've got her full attention.

I would say go in with an open mind and just have fun, don't put pressure on yourself or the other person, dating is supposed to be fun. Have a good time, don't take it too seriously until the other person has demonstrated they want to (and you want to), and try not to take rejection personally.

Oh and don't text forever, ask the other person out on a date fairly soonish, constant texting is an attraction & mystery killer. The whole point is to meet them

Nope, it's not for me I'm afraid. I get dates in real life, when I was on dating sites, it simply was a waste of my time.

There are any amount of women and indeed men who are on dating sites just to pass the time, I prefer real time interaction when you can gauge attraction and interest much more easily.

Also, if you are chatting to a person on a dating site, you actually don't have their full attention, naturally they will be chatting to others also.

Church on Tuesday · 12-07-2020 7:40pm

theintern wrote: »

Nonsense. It's a way to meet people you might like. You get out of it what you put into it. I met my current partner on it, we've been together for 4 years and we're planning to get married and buy a house.

If that's your outlook, then the issue is you, not the apps.

And that's grand for you but that simply won't be the case for everyone.

I don't have any issue, it's simply not worth my time.

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! · 12-07-2020 7:43pm

I'd say rapists and serial killers love those sites... it's like the psychopath's buffet! :P

Ultrflat · 12-07-2020 7:49pm

Elessar wrote: »

Nice. Absolutely, you wouldn't believe were some dates can lead you

Yeah it was a great experience.. I always treated tinder as, live in the moment don't get ahead in your own thoughts just role with it. :cool: no notions of grandeur. :cool:

12-07-2020 7:49pm

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

And that's grand for you but that simply won't be the case for everyone.

I don't have any issue, it's simply not worth my time.

There has definitely been a shift in how women are using it.

It's full of girls who are absolute stunners. Their pictures show an active social life. Which means between the countless men asking them on dates when they're on nights out, they're getting 100s of messages a week.

When you see lots of these same girls there over a year later you start to wonder as they are getting their pick of 100s of men.

These things originally were used by people who had very few social circles to meet or of lesser looks.
They're just overtaken by Love Island hopefuls looking to spread their IG and SC usernames.

Elessar · 12-07-2020 7:49pm

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Nope, it's not for me I'm afraid. I get dates in real life, when I was on dating sites, it simply was a waste of my time.

There are any amount of women and indeed men who are on dating sites just to pass the time, I prefer real time interaction when you can gauge attraction and interest much more easily.

Also, if you are chatting to a person on a dating site, you actually don't have their full attention, naturally they will be chatting to others also.

Each to their own but I think they're brilliant and have worked out for me and many others. Yeah there are people on it for ego boosts, but so what? That's the world of dating. Move on to the next person who wants to chat with you and meet you for a drink. That's where the real interest and attraction begins.

I meant that when you're on a date you have their full attention.

SlowMotion321 · 12-07-2020 8:05pm

Deleted User wrote: »

What's the craic with finding a Russian bride these days?..

In Soviet Russia, Bride finds you!

Brian Hartman · 12-07-2020 8:13pm

gilberto_eire wrote: »

There has definitely been a shift in how women are using it.

It's full of girls who are absolute stunners. Their pictures show an active social life. Which means between the countless men asking them on dates when they're on nights out, they're getting 100s of messages a week.

When you see lots of these same girls there over a year later you start to wonder as they are getting their pick of 100s of men.

These things originally were used by people who had very few social circles to meet or of lesser looks.
They're just overtaken by Love Island hopefuls looking to spread their IG and SC usernames.

Even the average looking girls are bombarded with attention on these apps. And why is a girl going to bother exchanging messages with an average looking guy when she can have the hot guy?

All that matters online is your face.

unhappys10 · 12-07-2020 8:22pm

Brian Hartman wrote: »

Even the average looking girls are bombarded with attention on these apps. And why is a girl going to bother exchanging messages with an average looking guy when she can have the hot guy?

All that matters online is your face.

More rubbish. I'd consider myself decent enough looking, I definitely wouldn't say I'm hot but before I met my wife I met a lot of girls on Tinder, was on it for a couple of years, easily met over 100 women on it in that time. The key was having a good opening message.
Most of these girls being bombarded are either getting "show me your tits" or a one liner like "hey how are you".

Put a bit of confidence and originality into your message and you'll get places, speaking from (lots of) experience!

Arghus · 12-07-2020 8:23pm

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

The answer to this is No.

It, like other "dating" apps, are trying to sell you the illusion that "the one" could be just around the corner. He/she is not.

It's an ego boost for those who require that and that's about it.

Not true.

I know more than one person who has formed a relationship out of a tinder date. It doesn't happen all the time, but it does happen.

To answer the OP's question: Tinder is what it is. It can be really great, some people have tremendous success on it, and by "success" I mean good old casual sex. But for a lot of people - a lot of guys anyways - you're lucky to get a decent match every once in a while, but you may as well keep trying. As with everything else in life: the better looking you are the more successful you will be.

LOL at the people who say: "prefer real life dating" - you can do both you know!

Brian Hartman · 12-07-2020 8:31pm

unhappys10 wrote: »

More rubbish. I'd consider myself decent enough looking, I definitely wouldn't say I'm hot but before I met my wife I met a lot of girls on Tinder, was on it for a couple of years, easily met over 100 women on it in that time. The key was having a good opening message.
Most of these girls being bombarded are either getting "show me your tits" or a one liner like "hey how are you".

Put a bit of confidence and originality into your message and you'll get places, speaking from (lots of) experience!

Either you're far better looking than you think, or the girls on Tinder have become much more shallow.

I used to do quite well in real life but never had any luck online.

What's the craic with Tinder?

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