What's the craic with Tinder?

Was out tonight and my friend's girlfriend insisted on me joining it since I'm single since last year. A shlte photo, no bio, nothing. She took the phone and went wild.

How does it even all work? I have a notification already about some Like that is asking me to pay money every month to see who likes me. Seems pretty absurd. She swiped on everything for the craic and started a conversation with some girl as well who I am guessing isn't even real.

I genuinely don't know anything about this. Some of my friends get the ride out of it but is it worth pursuing for something more serious?

Purple Mountain

I think your question is 'What's the crack with Tinder?'

Mongfinder General

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/gay-man-tinder-tricked-straight-13327740.amp


It's a zoo. You'll need to be careful. Loads of horror stories.

Brian Hartman

Mongfinder General wrote: »

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/gay-man-tinder-tricked-straight-13327740.amp


It's a zoo. You'll need to be careful. Loads of horror stories.

How much of a virgin do you have to be to fall for that scam above?

As for Tinder, just be tall and extremely handsome to get the most out of it.

mick087

Its a dating app people use it to meet for dates and form relationships.
I hear people talking about this and plenty in fish and bumble.

I guess its the way folk meet these days, the days of asking for a slow dance at the end of the night have gone

Church on Tuesday

Deleted User wrote: »

Was out tonight and my friend's girlfriend insisted on me joining it since I'm single since last year. A shlte photo, no bio, nothing. She took the phone and went wild.

How does it even all work? I have a notification already about some Like that is asking me to pay money every month to see who likes me. Seems pretty absurd. She swiped on everything for the craic and started a conversation with some girl as well who I am guessing isn't even real.

I genuinely don't know anything about this. Some of my friends get the ride out of it but is it worth pursuing for something more serious?

The answer to this is No.

It, like other "dating" apps, are trying to sell you the illusion that "the one" could be just around the corner. He/she is not.

It's an ego boost for those who require that and that's about it.

Feisar

Brian Hartman wrote: »

How much of a virgin do you have to be to fall for that scam above?

As for Tinder, just be tall and extremely handsome to get the most out of it.

It's just another string to ones bow. I wouldn't be overthinking it.

Stick with the personal ads in the farmers journal. Can’t go wrong.

Elessar

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

The answer to this is No.

It, like other "dating" apps, are trying to sell you the illusion that "the one" could be just around the corner. He/she is not.

It's an ego boost for those who require that and that's about it.

What a sad and bitter outlook. Completely untrue.

I met my ex on Tinder. We were together for two and a half years. And another mate of mine met his wife on a similar one.

Between Tinder and Bumble I've met some great people. Some dates go nowhere, some you meet up for a time and it fades out, some you get the ride and that's all either of you want, sometimes it gets to the FWB stage and sometimes you meet someone where you both really click and want the same things and get a relationship out of it. Just like in real life. I've been through all of these and have no regrets.

I'm extremely grateful to Tinder that I met my ex there. We never would have met in a million years if it wasn't for it and I'm a better person because of it. Single now and having fun just going on dates and seeing where it goes

Personally I would absolutely recommend it.

Ultrflat

Elessar wrote: »

What a sad and bitter outlook. Completely untrue.

And another mate of mine met his wife on a similar one.

Meet my xwife on tinder.

Were great friends it didn't work out.

Tinder is great crack completely agree with you :cool:

Brian Hartman

Brian Hartman wrote: »

How much of a virgin do you have to be to fall for that scam above?

As for Tinder, just be tall and extremely handsome to get the most out of it.

I think it's mainly targeted towards older men who aren't particularly familiar with online scams, and maybe their wish for the dream woman is clouding their judgement.

I was working with an older guy once, who was getting messages from a "woman" in Belarus who wanted to come to Ireland, and kept telling him how handsome he was despite the fact that his profile didn't even have a photograph. He was totally into it, and he kept telling everyone on the yard where we worked to join Plenty of Fish -- 'you wouldn't believe the stunner I'm chatting to'.

He really became annoyed when myself and another guy tried to explain it was probably some middle-aged, bald dude with prison tattoos, using stolen photographs. But there was no convincing him. At some point I think he started believing she was his girlfriend because he'd bring her into conversations 'Nastassia always says...' or 'I'll have to go on a diet when Nastassia comes'. I assume he got burnt in the end. Scammers like that who abuse people's innocence are a special kind of bad bastard.

That was years ago, though. I'd say the general level of awareness about dating scams has massively improved.

Church on Tuesday

Elessar wrote: »

What a sad and bitter outlook. Completely untrue.

I met my ex on Tinder. We were together for two and a half years. And another mate of mine met his wife on a similar one.

Between Tinder and Bumble I've met some great people. Some dates go nowhere, some you meet up for a time and it fades out, some you get the ride and that's all either of you want, sometimes it gets to the FWB stage and sometimes you meet someone where you both really click and want the same things and get a relationship out of it. Just like in real life. I've been through all of these and have no regrets.

I'm extremely grateful to Tinder that I met my ex there. We never would have met in a million years if it wasn't for it and I'm a better person because of it. Single now and having fun just going on dates and seeing where it goes

Personally I would absolutely recommend it.

I'm guessing you are a woman?

Yes, for some people it's grand, for the vast majority it's a waste of time. A person is far better dating in real life IMO.

It depends what you are looking to get out of it.

unhappys10

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

I'm guessing you are a woman?

Yes, for some people it's grand, for the vast majority it's a waste of time. A person is far better dating in real life IMO.

It depends what you are looking to get out of it.

Rubbish, it's the 21st century. Meeting someone online allows a period of texting/chatting which gives you a much better idea of what they are like than if you meet in a crowded pub with drink involved.
I met a girl on POF 5 years ago, we're married 2 years and have a 1 year old daughter.
Couldn't have asked for a better partner and we never would have met if it wasn't for online dating.

Elessar

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

I'm guessing you are a woman?

Yes, for some people it's grand, for the vast majority it's a waste of time. A person is far better dating in real life IMO.

It depends what you are looking to get out of it.

No I'm a guy. When you think about it, it is dating in real life. You're meeting up. IMO it's far better than talking to a girl in a bar or club as you're not competing for her attention. I hate that. When she's with you, you've got her full attention.

I would say go in with an open mind and just have fun, don't put pressure on yourself or the other person, dating is supposed to be fun. Have a good time, don't take it too seriously until the other person has demonstrated they want to (and you want to), and try not to take rejection personally.

Oh and don't text forever, ask the other person out on a date fairly soonish, constant texting is an attraction & mystery killer. The whole point is to meet them

Ultrflat

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

I'm guessing you are a woman?

Yes, for some people it's grand, for the vast majority it's a waste of time. A person is far better dating in real life IMO.

It depends what you are looking to get out of it.

You sound very serious, do you take tinder seriously?

I had a pretty wild few nights with a chick from tinder, kinky/fetish/dirty'st night of my life.

I won't lie I enjoyed every minute of it

theintern

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

The answer to this is No.

It, like other "dating" apps, are trying to sell you the illusion that "the one" could be just around the corner. He/she is not.

It's an ego boost for those who require that and that's about it.

Nonsense. It's a way to meet people you might like. You get out of it what you put into it. I met my current partner on it, we've been together for 4 years and we're planning to get married and buy a house.



If that's your outlook, then the issue is you, not the apps.

SusieBlue

I met my ex of 4 years on tinder. Whether you are looking for something serious or more casual, you will find it there. It isn’t just for hook ups or for the ultra good looking people at all.

Elessar

Ultrflat wrote: »

You sound very serious, do you take tinder seriously?

I had a pretty wild few nights with a chick from tinder, kinky/fetish/dirty'st night of my life.

I won't lie I enjoyed every minute of it

Nice. Absolutely, you wouldn't believe were some dates can lead you

What's the craic with finding a Russian bride these days?..

A Tyrant Named Miltiades!

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

I think it's mainly targeted towards older men who aren't particularly familiar with online scams, and maybe their wish for the dream woman is clouding their judgement.

I was working with an older guy once, who was getting messages from a "woman" in Belarus who wanted to come to Ireland, and kept telling him how handsome he was despite the fact that his profile didn't even have a photograph. He was totally into it, and he kept telling everyone on the yard where we worked to join Plenty of Fish -- 'you wouldn't believe the stunner I'm chatting to'.

He really became annoyed when myself and another guy tried to explain it was probably some middle-aged, bald dude with prison tattoos, using stolen photographs. But there was no convincing him. At some point I think he started believing she was his girlfriend because he'd bring her into conversations 'Nastassia always says...' or 'I'll have to go on a diet when Nastassia comes'. I assume he got burnt in the end. Scammers like that who abuse people's innocence are a special kind of bad bastard.

That was years ago, though. I'd say the general level of awareness about dating scams has massively improved.

Theres a new scam now I've came across twice.

They will engage with you for brief periods and try to talk to you on something personal(WhatsApp, Kik).
They'll usually admit they're from a different country but they're globe trotters and could visit your one very easy.

After a few days they'll try to get you to invest in bitcoin.

The first time I saw it "she" kept saying she traded bitcoin and when it was first mentioned i knew where it was going so humoured them with conversation but avoided any bitcoin talk.
After a few days of me avoiding asking I was asked straight out "for e500 you could make blah blah". I guess they got sick of trying to get me to ask about it.

A second aspect to the scam was they try to get your full name and i was asked if I was married. My guess is they'll try to honey trap a married man and blackmail them if they cant work their bitcoin scam. This aspect probably catches more men out than the former.

My second incident they told me "they were watching the financial news and they thought the future might be in crypto with covid" I told them "look if you're trying to get me to send money you can save your time as I wouldn't give a homeless person a cent" and they said they weren't and they were going to tell me never to send money to strangers.
A day later the WhatsApp picture was gone.

It's like a phishing scam but it's a real person as opposed to a generic email.

Theres a lot of red flags so anyone with a brain will see them straight off but I could see them catching people out as they try to get you to engage on the topic first.

Church on Tuesday

Elessar wrote: »

No I'm a guy. When you think about it, it is dating in real life. You're meeting up. IMO it's far better than talking to a girl in a bar or club as you're not competing for her attention. I hate that. When she's with you, you've got her full attention.

I would say go in with an open mind and just have fun, don't put pressure on yourself or the other person, dating is supposed to be fun. Have a good time, don't take it too seriously until the other person has demonstrated they want to (and you want to), and try not to take rejection personally.

Oh and don't text forever, ask the other person out on a date fairly soonish, constant texting is an attraction & mystery killer. The whole point is to meet them

Nope, it's not for me I'm afraid. I get dates in real life, when I was on dating sites, it simply was a waste of my time.

There are any amount of women and indeed men who are on dating sites just to pass the time, I prefer real time interaction when you can gauge attraction and interest much more easily.

Also, if you are chatting to a person on a dating site, you actually don't have their full attention, naturally they will be chatting to others also.

Church on Tuesday

theintern wrote: »

Nonsense. It's a way to meet people you might like. You get out of it what you put into it. I met my current partner on it, we've been together for 4 years and we're planning to get married and buy a house.



If that's your outlook, then the issue is you, not the apps.

And that's grand for you but that simply won't be the case for everyone.

I don't have any issue, it's simply not worth my time.

Gretas Gonna Get Ya!

I'd say rapists and serial killers love those sites... it's like the psychopath's buffet! :P

Ultrflat

Elessar wrote: »

Nice. Absolutely, you wouldn't believe were some dates can lead you

Yeah it was a great experience.. I always treated tinder as, live in the moment don't get ahead in your own thoughts just role with it. :cool: no notions of grandeur. :cool:

Church on Tuesday

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

And that's grand for you but that simply won't be the case for everyone.

I don't have any issue, it's simply not worth my time.

There has definitely been a shift in how women are using it.

It's full of girls who are absolute stunners. Their pictures show an active social life. Which means between the countless men asking them on dates when they're on nights out, they're getting 100s of messages a week.

When you see lots of these same girls there over a year later you start to wonder as they are getting their pick of 100s of men.

These things originally were used by people who had very few social circles to meet or of lesser looks.
They're just overtaken by Love Island hopefuls looking to spread their IG and SC usernames.

Elessar

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Nope, it's not for me I'm afraid. I get dates in real life, when I was on dating sites, it simply was a waste of my time.

There are any amount of women and indeed men who are on dating sites just to pass the time, I prefer real time interaction when you can gauge attraction and interest much more easily.

Also, if you are chatting to a person on a dating site, you actually don't have their full attention, naturally they will be chatting to others also.

Each to their own but I think they're brilliant and have worked out for me and many others. Yeah there are people on it for ego boosts, but so what? That's the world of dating. Move on to the next person who wants to chat with you and meet you for a drink. That's where the real interest and attraction begins.

I meant that when you're on a date you have their full attention.

SlowMotion321

Deleted User wrote: »

What's the craic with finding a Russian bride these days?..

In Soviet Russia, Bride finds you!

Brian Hartman

gilberto_eire wrote: »

There has definitely been a shift in how women are using it.

It's full of girls who are absolute stunners. Their pictures show an active social life. Which means between the countless men asking them on dates when they're on nights out, they're getting 100s of messages a week.

When you see lots of these same girls there over a year later you start to wonder as they are getting their pick of 100s of men.

These things originally were used by people who had very few social circles to meet or of lesser looks.
They're just overtaken by Love Island hopefuls looking to spread their IG and SC usernames.

Even the average looking girls are bombarded with attention on these apps. And why is a girl going to bother exchanging messages with an average looking guy when she can have the hot guy?

All that matters online is your face.

unhappys10

Brian Hartman wrote: »

Even the average looking girls are bombarded with attention on these apps. And why is a girl going to bother exchanging messages with an average looking guy when she can have the hot guy?

All that matters online is your face.

More rubbish. I'd consider myself decent enough looking, I definitely wouldn't say I'm hot but before I met my wife I met a lot of girls on Tinder, was on it for a couple of years, easily met over 100 women on it in that time. The key was having a good opening message.
Most of these girls being bombarded are either getting "show me your tits" or a one liner like "hey how are you".

Put a bit of confidence and originality into your message and you'll get places, speaking from (lots of) experience!

Arghus

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

The answer to this is No.

It, like other "dating" apps, are trying to sell you the illusion that "the one" could be just around the corner. He/she is not.

It's an ego boost for those who require that and that's about it.

Not true.

I know more than one person who has formed a relationship out of a tinder date. It doesn't happen all the time, but it does happen.

To answer the OP's question: Tinder is what it is. It can be really great, some people have tremendous success on it, and by "success" I mean good old casual sex. But for a lot of people - a lot of guys anyways - you're lucky to get a decent match every once in a while, but you may as well keep trying. As with everything else in life: the better looking you are the more successful you will be.

LOL at the people who say: "prefer real life dating" - you can do both you know!

Brian Hartman

unhappys10 wrote: »

More rubbish. I'd consider myself decent enough looking, I definitely wouldn't say I'm hot but before I met my wife I met a lot of girls on Tinder, was on it for a couple of years, easily met over 100 women on it in that time. The key was having a good opening message.
Most of these girls being bombarded are either getting "show me your tits" or a one liner like "hey how are you".

Put a bit of confidence and originality into your message and you'll get places, speaking from (lots of) experience!

Either you're far better looking than you think, or the girls on Tinder have become much more shallow.

I used to do quite well in real life but never had any luck online.

unhappys10

Brian Hartman wrote: »

Either you're far better looking than you think, or the girls on Tinder have become much more shallow.

I used to do quite well in real life but never had any luck online.

Could be the case, but I don't think so Maybe they have become more shallow/jaded it's been on the go a while now?
Got my fair share of no replies and rejections too but I mostly avoided the obviously shallow ones.
Some of the profiles were hilarious, must be 6'2 and she'd be 5 foot nothing, must have a car, must have a good job. Like we all want what we want but a lot of them were just obviously shallow, best avoided!
Used to be decent girls on it too but it's been a number of years since I was on it, could be different now.

Ultrflat

Brian Hartman wrote: »

Either you're far better looking than you think, or the girls on Tinder have become much more shallow.

I used to do quite well in real life but never had any luck online.

There is a thing called sense of humor and personality.

banie01

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Was out tonight and my friend's girlfriend insisted on me joining it since I'm single since last year. A shlte photo, no bio, nothing. She took the phone and went wild.

How does it even all work? I have a notification already about some Like that is asking me to pay money every month to see who likes me. Seems pretty absurd. She swiped on everything for the craic and started a conversation with some girl as well who I am guessing isn't even real.

I genuinely don't know anything about this. Some of my friends get the ride out of it but is it worth pursuing for something more serious?

You're a white dude living in S.E Asia aren't you?

If you need tinder to get your hole after the recent break up?
You're doing the hole Ex-pat thing wrong

Elessar

Brian Hartman wrote: »

Either you're far better looking than you think, or the girls on Tinder have become much more shallow.

I used to do quite well in real life but never had any luck online.

He's right though. Don't send a "Hey how are you?" message because every guy sends that. I've used the same opening line with almost every match and it gets a laugh (no I'm not telling you ). I'm certainly not a 6ft tall stud but I decent pictures up that show me having a good time.

But I've also found that getting matches can be a feast or a famine i.e. there will be times I won't get any decent matches for weeks at a time. Then bam I'll get a rake of them. Maybe that's just me.

Church on Tuesday

gilberto_eire wrote: »

There has definitely been a shift in how women are using it.

It's full of girls who are absolute stunners. Their pictures show an active social life. Which means between the countless men asking them on dates when they're on nights out, they're getting 100s of messages a week.

When you see lots of these same girls there over a year later you start to wonder as they are getting their pick of 100s of men.

These things originally were used by people who had very few social circles to meet or of lesser looks.
They're just overtaken by Love Island hopefuls looking to spread their IG and SC usernames.

My whole take on dating sites is that what will work for some won't work for others.



As I have already said, there are loads of women (and men) that are on these sites just to pass the time, many women (and men) have no intention in even going on dates, and that's fine.

You always seem to get two distinct camps when threads like these crop up;

1. those who are adamant that dating sites are the only way to go just because they happened to luck out and meet their future spouse on it so they are biased.

and

2. the men and sometimes women who post here who seem angry or bitter or upset about lack of "success" with online dating.


It's the people in the second camp I feel sorry for and no doubt when they read testimonials from the people from the first camp it only makes them feel worse. That's actually a very real thing that is happening with people were they feel that they are not good enough or good looking enough in the social media age and it's tragic.

I would implore anyone who feels that way reading over this thread to realize that these sites are a numbers game, pure algorithms if you will, essentially a lucky dip and are not a realistic reflection of a persons particular attraction level or self worth.

I would highly recommend that people try dating in real time. If you are shy or socially awkward, great then give Tinder and the likes a go and try have fun with it, but don't go in with any great expectations. And certainly do not think the issue is with you when you are dealing with platform/s where a certain kind of superficiality is key.

Brian Hartman

There are far more men on dating sites than women, women only rate the top 20% of men as attractive...these are not good odds for the aspiring player.

Go out and meet women irl. Or go to Asia and just be white.

fran38

mick087 wrote: »

Its a dating app people use it to meet for dates and form relationships.
I hear people talking about this and plenty in fish and bumble.

I guess its the way folk meet these days, the days of asking for a slow dance at the end of the night have gone

Especially since the 'slow dance' went out around the time of USA'94

fran38

Brian Hartman wrote: »

There are far more men on dating sites than women, women only rate the top 20% of men as attractive...these are not good odds for the aspiring player.

Go out and meet women irl. Or go to Asia and just be white.[/QUOTE

Looking at a lot of youtube vlogs from fellas who've went to Thailand 'to work' and managed to get hitched to local stunners. Way to go for average 50s white guy i think lol

BorneTobyWilde

SusieBlue wrote: »

I met my ex of 4 years on tinder. Whether you are looking for something serious or more casual, you will find it there. It isn’t just for hook ups or for the ultra good looking people at all.

al87987

2 of my friends met their wives on tinder and I'm living in Mexico city with my fiancee who i met on tinder also. App changed my life completely, we'll wait to see if it was for better or worse

riclad

It's a dating app, you swipe write on someone, if they swipe on you, you,ll get a message person X would like to message you etc
The days of just meeting a girl in a bar or a club
are nearly over. Your mileage may vary. It's like life, being good looking, well dressed etc helps.

It's better to put basic info on your profile.
Hobbys, interests etc
To attract someone who might have something in common with you. I do, nt think there's any stigma now to using a dating app. Even rich and famous people use them

riclad

riclad wrote: »

Even rich and famous people use them

Some of them get blocked, I'd say that happens a lot.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-50946431

Actress Sharon Stone says she was blocked from the dating app Bumble.

The online platform said there had been several reports of a fake profile, the 62-year-old posted on Twitter.

ChikiChiki

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

I'm guessing you are a woman?

Yes, for some people it's grand, for the vast majority it's a waste of time. A person is far better dating in real life IMO.

It depends what you are looking to get out of it.

Not really much of an option nowadays is it with people more socially apart. Tinder etc are the way forward for the next while.

misstearheus

Have yet to pop the old Tinder Cherry. Can't remember when I signed up to it, would say I'm not far off a year on it. Matches here n' there but big reluctance from guys to actually take the next step and meet!

PS: Anyone know what's up with POF for the last week?!? I've matched with I'd say about 7/8 matches over past few days that I definitely didn't click on or like! It's a tad strange.

It's pretty boring so far. Matched with five women and talked a bit with two of them. Definitely will take some getting used to.. This is my first time dating in over eight years. Was on a bit of date last week with an American girl I know and she said she hates the online thing.

Tinder c.2013-15 was some of my best times on the internet. It was like Marco Polo wandering the Silk Road.

unhappys10

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Tinder c.2013-15 was some of my best times on the internet. It was like Marco Polo wandering the Silk Road.

Exactly the 2 years I did my best work on it

What changed?

JustAThought

People in work use it - when ‘workin’ - you’d see a group clustered around a desk and oohs and nooo’s and general excitement - swiping to say they’re interested & then having the craic for a few minutes. I know a few have gone on dates wuth people they would never have met otherwise and sure its almost as random as meeting someone drunk at a bar.

I would say there are 2 vulnerable
men in work both of whom have been burned badly by it - found online ‘love’ and been
infatuated with someone who wants a long distance visa marriage, and one has sent money and gone to the airport twice fo meet their down on their luck never yet arrived or seen online girlfriend ...:(

I gather its often used a a booty call between consenting adults - bit of a sad state for society but like anything if used well can have positive outcomes even if short term.

OP - you’d really want to have a photo up or it will never work for you and put some info in - would you date an invisible ghost? !! Give it a go.

unhappys10

[Deleted User] wrote: »

What changed?

I'd say it's a combination of things.
If there are any new apps the younger generation not old enough to be on it back then would jump on those.

I think it's a paid subscription now.

People who would have been on it back then either found what they wanted or became fed up with it, especially women who were bombarded daily with messages from weirdos.

Also, I don't know if this is the case, but if it went the way of other social apps such as Instagram it is probably riddled with bots.