Have not seen my daughter in 12 years

I've been on the receiving end of this: I was the abandoned daughter. I saw my father a grand total of 3 times as a child, no birthday cards, no phone calls, no letters, nothing.

He asked my mother if he could have my phone number when I was 18. I told him to **** off. After all, he was never there for me so why try to be BFFs at 18?

Be prepared for a negative/angry response especially if you wait until the child is 18. By 18, they will know what you have done and some possible reasons why you did it. I wouldn't wait that long.

Start with letters. Very slowly. A card for every holiday. I had no concept of 'dad' or what a dad was. It will be alien to her.

I'm 31 now and might give him a chance now but I'd also yell at him and express my anger. You're going to have to put up with that and stick with it. Be prepared for a hurricane of insults. Don't give up one day you'll get through. I'm not sure what kind of a relationship you'd be able to build with a 31-year old but you could try (if it comes to this situation).