Dumb/Great Facebook Status [No Names] - Part III

Hotblack Desiato · 27-03-2020 2:37pm

The patron saint of knickers

MOR316 · 27-03-2020 2:39pm

I know someone on FB, who is self isolating/quarantined and is posting her daily thoughts on FB. All about how much of a struggle it is, how she misses her family and just wants to touch them

She had a headache one day a few weeks ago...

Deebles McBeebles · 27-03-2020 3:34pm

Raconteuse wrote: »

Omg dis is amazon reely makes u tink I say its deffo tru d fu*kers xXxXx

sligojoek wrote: »

Let me guess.

The Ford Transit appreciation society.

Brilliant!

Or should I say, amazon!

aoh · 27-03-2020 4:47pm

Maybe not allowed as positive but I reckon we all need a pick-me-up every now and then. Posted on FB (with a pic):

This is me with my mum she has survived Hitler, open heart surgery, 2 replacement knees and 2 replacement hips. Few weeks ago, she fell fractured her hip, 2 ribs and her spine. Last week she was diagnosed with Covid 19 and spent a week in intensive care she is 86.......
Today she has been given the all clear this is the sort of thing the media should be concentrating on there is hope people but it's positive and cheerful!!

snoopboggybog · 27-03-2020 11:07pm

2km limit for shopping abit rediculous I live 28km from nearest shop how does that work>?

Bredabe · 27-03-2020 11:13pm

Like me posting on the wrong thread.

El Weirdo · 28-03-2020 12:17am

snoopboggybog wrote: »

2km limit for shopping abit rediculous I live 28km from nearest shop how does that work>?

There's people in the main Covid-19 thread here asking the same question.

Frankly, if people are too fucking stupid to understand how simple instructions work, then i think we're probably better off as a society if they actually starved to death.

Dank Janniels · 28-03-2020 3:54am

Please share this green candle in aid of the health workers"

yea nice touch, even the flame is green!

sligojoek · 28-03-2020 10:40am

We are doing a chain of 1 million Hail Mary's for those who are suffering from the corona virus and the whole world at risk. Say one Hail Mary and pass on to 10 people. Let me know if you can't do this so we don't break the chain
"Hail Mary full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed are thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus. Holy Mary mother of God pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen

drake70 · 28-03-2020 10:46am

sligojoek wrote: »

We are doing a chain of 1 million Hail Mary's for those who are suffering from the corona virus and the whole world at risk. Say one Hail Mary and pass on to 10 people. Let me know if you can't do this so we don't break the chain
"Hail Mary full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed are thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus. Holy Mary mother of God pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen

For me that leads to tapping the unfollow button

Foweva Awone · 28-03-2020 11:50am

For Tha 1s Tha Ar On My Page Lyk Nosey Ppl Tha Lyks Or Comments On Nottin Cud Ye Kindly Remove Yere Smelly Arses

It wasnt me123 · 28-03-2020 12:26pm

drake70 wrote: »

For me that leads to tapping the unfollow button

Yep me too, sick of this ****e. Can’t people just stay indoors and mind their own business - all these Holy Joes have probably not stepped inside a church in years. Hypocrites

tea and coffee · 28-03-2020 2:45pm

Foweva Awone wrote: »

For Tha 1s Tha Ar On My Page Lyk Nosey Ppl Tha Lyks Or Comments On Nottin Cud Ye Kindly Remove Yere Smelly Arses

I hope you are liking and commenting on all the posts Foweva Awone or else she might be talking to you - Smelly Arse! LOL

Oh! Or maybe that makes all of us "Smelly Arses Once Removed" for reading them!

Edit: you know my tongue is firmly in cheek there, right?!

Foweva Awone · 28-03-2020 8:49pm

In all the giving out we do about the thicko's that have stockpiled...I actually want to hand on heart applaud you all.....I did my NORMAL weekly shop today in lidl and not a bit of the oul reliable cheap bog roll to be got....So instead I found a garage that had "ANDREX"..My Fanny will be so pleasurable to wipe with that for a change...Maybe €5.00 more but I actually look forward to doing my wee wee now knowing that I won't have a stinging minge from cheap bog roll!!!Stay safe girlies!!

Foweva Awone · 28-03-2020 8:51pm

Stay da **** indoors ye horrible horrible scum ppl loosing their lives over teenagers ,&& adults and other selfish slimly smellbags #Worse it's Getting so Cop on Tah Fck ye pea brains awl spreading yer fleas then wit yer cement faces The Storm is only beginning && I promise god above ppl Wana back away and a bure in dis place den pickin up old fag buts making rollies you selfish cross contamination of a ting if u even try talk to me I'll spray u from a 2 meter distance with soap and bleach awl Rob my daughters Capri sun u must need it more than her . **** you #Nosey & deleted dah rest of the nosey rams bubyeeeeee

Pherekydes · 29-03-2020 12:17am

A FB friend of mine posted an old story about the CMO, Tony Holohan.

Underneath he and his brother had the following conversation:

Poster 1 (his brother): In the space of a day funerals of covid victims have gone from immediate family to none. This guy is holding back the truth

Poster 2 : it's gonna get a lot worse I think..

Poster 1: it can't be viral it has to be biological

Poster 2: is it airborne now?

Poster 1: as to be

There you are guys. The Bros have it sussed: it's biological, not viral.

El Gato De Negocios · 29-03-2020 8:39am

Seems to be a few dingers doing the rounds lately.

I've been nominated by XXX to post pictures of my dog and flood Facebook with positive pictures. I nominate you to post pictures of your dog no caption and keep the positively going ðŸ¶ðŸ•

Until tomorrow XXX

Followed by I think a picture of the person as a child.

snoopboggybog · 29-03-2020 9:41am

Statutory Ape wrote: »

Seems to be a few dingers doing the rounds lately.

I've been nominated by XXX to post pictures of my dog and flood Facebook with positive pictures. I nominate you to post pictures of your dog no caption and keep the positively going ðŸ¶ðŸ•

Until tomorrow XXX

Followed by I think a picture of the person as a child.

Same one going around about beaches with the "You okay hun" crowd.

It wasnt me123 · 29-03-2020 12:46pm

Statutory Ape wrote: »

...
I've been nominated by XXX to post pictures of my dog and flood Facebook with positive pictures. I nominate you to post pictures of your dog no caption and keep the positively going ...

:

I got one of these but the person put up a picture of her dog .... that died a few years ago - yeah looking at a dog that is dead really lightened the mood

snoopboggybog · 29-03-2020 12:52pm

Hello All,
Hoping to hear from the silent majority. All this is so exhausting! What's the point of having friends if you can't see one another's posts - it's nuts.
Fixed my blocked posts I wondered where everybody had been! This is good to know: It's ridiculous to have 1000 friends and only 25 are allowed to see my post. I ignored this post earlier, because I didn’t think it worked.
It WORKS!! I have a whole new news feed. I’m seeing posts from people I haven’t seen in years.
Here’s how to bypass the system FB now has in place that limits posts on your news feed. Their new algorithm chooses the same few people - about 25 - who will read your posts.
Therefore,
Hold your finger down anywhere in this post and "copy" will pop up. Click "copy". Then go your page, start a new post and put your finger anywhere in the blank field. "Paste" will pop up and click paste.
This will bypass the system.
If you are reading this message, do me a favor and leave me a quick comment...a "hello," a sticker, whatever you want, so you will appear in my newsfeed.

drake70 · 29-03-2020 1:18pm

snoopboggybog wrote: »

Hello All,
Hoping to hear from the silent majority. All this is so exhausting! What's the point of having friends if you can't see one another's posts - it's nuts.
Fixed my blocked posts I wondered where everybody had been! This is good to know: It's ridiculous to have 1000 friends and only 25 are allowed to see my post. I ignored this post earlier, because I didn’t think it worked.
It WORKS!! I have a whole new news feed. I’m seeing posts from people I haven’t seen in years.
Here’s how to bypass the system FB now has in place that limits posts on your news feed. Their new algorithm chooses the same few people - about 25 - who will read your posts.
Therefore,
Hold your finger down anywhere in this post and "copy" will pop up. Click "copy". Then go your page, start a new post and put your finger anywhere in the blank field. "Paste" will pop up and click paste.
This will bypass the system.
If you are reading this message, do me a favor and leave me a quick comment...a "hello," a sticker, whatever you want, so you will appear in my newsfeed.

Have seen a few of these myself. From people who should know better.:rolleyes:

snoopboggybog · 29-03-2020 1:33pm

I'm still trying to make sense of this but I cant. Dear god. Anyone know what point she is trying to get across?

and also msybe anyone with more one kid shoul also my demons are an over wpop of uninformed people who let face book raise there kids while they chase a faded faultering life of big scree tv dreams 1000$ smart phones and there . kids have parents living fear cause for some reason the courts deam youth more valid than there what the parents say. so enclosing can only what catagory you little positive helpfull and of educated. did you know peopl who think they are smarter than all others have to be the most diminished group as far as actual IQ . see i bet between the two types you be the later. good luck with that and i say if you wont do it first the ur not an real brite idea , and in closing how many u got ENSTIEN, no i dont spell woth a s it but with wikki dicky i dont think anyone can spell . may what wrote was just poorly written shopping list u may never even see this cause cat hacked ur account. byby idea overlord. you go first ME RAND D GUY OR KR KNOWEDGE RESULTS ARE MY DESIDERS NOY SOME IDYOCRACEY, CAST EXTRA. thanks pointing out why as long as ur boss .i am not really into anyone wont use there own advice.

drake70 · 29-03-2020 2:34pm

snoopboggybog wrote: »

I'm still trying to make sense of this but I cant. Dear god. Anyone know what point she is trying to get across?

and also msybe anyone with more one kid shoul also my demons are an over wpop of uninformed people who let face book raise there kids while they chase a faded faultering life of big scree tv dreams 1000$ smart phones and there . kids have parents living fear cause for some reason the courts deam youth more valid than there what the parents say. so enclosing can only what catagory you little positive helpfull and of educated. did you know peopl who think they are smarter than all others have to be the most diminished group as far as actual IQ . see i bet between the two types you be the later. good luck with that and i say if you wont do it first the ur not an real brite idea , and in closing how many u got ENSTIEN, no i dont spell woth a s it but with wikki dicky i dont think anyone can spell . may what wrote was just poorly written shopping list u may never even see this cause cat hacked ur account. byby idea overlord. you go first ME RAND D GUY OR KR KNOWEDGE RESULTS ARE MY DESIDERS NOY SOME IDYOCRACEY, CAST EXTRA. thanks pointing out why as long as ur boss .i am not really into anyone wont use there own advice.

I think I need to lie down after attempting to follow that

Foweva Awone · 30-03-2020 8:23am

What a government we have have we've just spent 2 million on Mass and goggles from China which were delivered Aer Lingus they should be given us it for free it came from there weird people of Ireland are going to have to pay for that you know that eventually China should be excluded from this country they work here to send money home that's it they don't interact with Irish people at all that should be extracted from Ireland

El Gato De Negocios · 30-03-2020 6:00pm

#ChallengeAccepted!! XXX XXX Jesus one on my own was hard found.

If I didn't tag you, please do not be offended, I tried to pick people who I thought would play along.

All too often women find it easier to criticize each other instead of building each other up, with all the negativity going around, lets do something positive!! Because you ARE BEAUTIFUL!!😘

Upload 1 picture of yourself...ONLY you. Then tag at least 25 or more gorgoeus women to do the same.

Build yourselves up instead of tearing yourself down❤

COPY AND PASTE
If I tagged you, don't disappoint me, please do it!!!🥰🥰

Ahh stop, yew luk gr8 hun.

optogirl · 30-03-2020 11:10pm

Statutory Ape wrote: »

Ahh stop, yew luk gr8 hun.

Someone I worked with 10 years ago tagged me in this. **** off would ya.

snoopboggybog · 31-03-2020 1:34am

https://www.facebook.com/faz.m.sidat/videos/10163108672145384

Have a read of the comments, 10KG of chicken fillets for 60 pounds is actually quite good from a butcher.

AndyBoBandy · 31-03-2020 9:06am

Works out at £6 for 1kg of Chicken breasts??? Sign me up!!

I pay something like €3.99 in Tesco for 500g of chicken breast (=€79.80 for 10kg ~ £71)

niallo76 · 31-03-2020 9:15am

hahaha I'm hiding me head theses days Al, I'm gone to ground cuz, misses gone bald pulling her hair out listening to me

coolhull · 31-03-2020 11:31am

Foweva Awone wrote: »

What a government we have have we've just spent 2 million on Mass and goggles from China which were delivered Aer Lingus they should be given us it for free it came from there weird people of Ireland are going to have to pay for that you know that eventually China should be excluded from this country they work here to send money home that's it they don't interact with Irish people at all that should be extracted from Ireland

Ah, is that you, Donald Trump?
Good man, ya never lost it...

El Gato De Negocios · 31-03-2020 12:54pm

:pac:

Foweva Awone · 31-03-2020 2:00pm

I never put stuff like this on Facebook but im sick to death of people trying to start sh1t over there own jealousy, see you ***girls name**** ye dirty smell bag a rap of a deck brush an a bucket of bleach wouldn't even get rid of the smell, your a big women over Facebook aren't ye then blocks me coz your full of sh1t . you must not have Nun better to do in your sad life then trying to get that's gets on falling out, i actually feel lil bit sorry for ye ye smell, an tbh if i was talk about someone it defo would be you ye fool a dirty sniff head that thinks she's high and mighty will ye gway you can't shame me i could right a book about your family ye pack of smelly rats!! as you always have something to say about me... Over Facebook tho..... Never to my face ye innocent girl

El Gato De Negocios · 31-03-2020 2:09pm

I am always very impressed with the level of insults our brethren in perpetual motion can come up with, "a rap of a deck brush and a bucket of bleach wouldn't even get rid of the smell".

Truly a work of poetry.

BattleCorp · 31-03-2020 2:18pm

Statutory Ape wrote: »

I am always very impressed with the level of insults our brethren in perpetual motion can come up with, "a rap of a deck brush and a bucket of bleach wouldn't even get rid of the smell".

Truly a work of poetry.

I was thinking was it a traveller post but once I saw the 'innocent girl' insult, I am now 100000000% sure it is a traveller post.

coolhull · 01-04-2020 4:45pm

‼️WARNING‼️
A new thing circulating now. People are going door to door handing out masks. They say it’s a new initiative from local government. They ask you to please put it on to see if it fits. It’s doused with chemicals which knocks you out cold. They then rob you!! Please DO NOT accept masks from strangers.
Please be cautious & safe!

Be careful out there, people!!

Foweva Awone · 01-04-2020 4:57pm

5G right at the end of my road nw dey can f*ck off wait see the amount of sick people over this way an they say oh u have covid 19 its all bull shlt this is the real problem !!

sligojoek · 01-04-2020 6:07pm

While everyone is in self isolation, they put up loads of 5G masts everywhere with nobody around to protest

Haha April Fools

Oh.... Wait

Foweva Awone · 02-04-2020 11:07am

Coronavirus is gonna end on easter Jesus is Rising he’s coming to us all believe me keep the paryers going and you see amen . he’s gonna vanish every infection disease viruses all away form he’s children . love you all god mind us keep our Hop up and our paryers going amen

Hotblack Desiato · 02-04-2020 2:45pm

ne pratricular angles i shud b parying too?

ohnonotgmail · 02-04-2020 2:47pm

chooseusername · 02-04-2020 2:50pm

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

ne pratricular angles i shud b parying too?

No point praying to the wrong angle.

It wasnt me123 · 02-04-2020 7:58pm

It should be a criminal offence to kill the English language the way the posts about the angles and the genital horse have. If you can’t spell, go educate yourself FFS and give my head peace.

Leg End Reject · 02-04-2020 8:29pm

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

I'm a fan of a nicely sized genital myself, especially when licks are involved.

That horse will be carted off soon enough.

coolbeans · 02-04-2020 9:27pm

Statutory Ape wrote: »

I am always very impressed with the level of insults our brethren in perpetual motion can come up with, "a rap of a deck brush and a bucket of bleach wouldn't even get rid of the smell".

Truly a work of poetry.

"...our brethren in perpetual motion". That made me chuckle.

Hotblack Desiato · 03-04-2020 11:46am

It wasnt me123 wrote: »

It should be a criminal offence to kill the English language the way the posts about the angles and the genital horse have. If you can’t spell, go educate yourself FFS and give my head peace.

you might be subscribed to the wrong thread so

My post was a parody btw, I don't do FB and this thread keeps reminding me why!

It wasnt me123 · 03-04-2020 12:29pm

Why would you do that? You are obviously in the wrong thread. I thought these were genuine dodgy FB posts, not people with too much time on their hands making **** up. FFS is this all you have to do with your time?

Hotblack Desiato · 03-04-2020 1:44pm

It wasnt me123 wrote: »

Why would you do that? You are obviously in the wrong thread. I thought these were genuine dodgy FB posts, not people with too much time on their hands making **** up. FFS is this all you have to do with your time?

Get a life.

I was replying to another poster who had (presumably) posted a genuine idiotic FB post.

It wasnt me123 wrote: »

It should be a criminal offence to kill the English language the way the posts about the angles and the genital horse have. If you can’t spell, go educate yourself FFS and give my head peace.

That's funny, you have a spelling mistake in your username

Dank Janniels · 03-04-2020 5:07pm

My aunt posted this last night:
"This is my sister in law Angela, she has Covid19, She is 8 months pregnant and currently in ICU. Lets cover her in prayers, please share this to 5 facebook groups. Do not ignore, please like this page for updates"

I reported the post +infollow her!

Also in the post is a pic of a woman with that nasal tube thingy in her nostrils

dreamers75 · 03-04-2020 11:45pm

Dank Janniels wrote: »

My aunt posted this last night:
"This is my sister in law Angela, she has Covid19, She is 8 months pregnant and currently in ICU. Lets cover her in prayers, please share this to 5 facebook groups. Do not ignore, please like this page for updates"

I reported the post +infollow her!

Also in the post is a pic of a woman with that nasal tube thingy in her nostrils

tut tut then how are you going to the next post in this thread?

You need to keep being friends with these people.

Foweva Awone · 04-04-2020 10:23am

For a change, here is a great one rather than a dumb one!

"Right I know this isint the best right but over the last few days I’ve watched tiger king an I’ve become way to fond of saying “that bitch Carol Baskins” randomly throughout the day at the top of my voice in a southern accent, my 2 year old now picked it up as well ffs ... in the sitting room an I hear THAT BIT ASKINSSS! THAT BIT AROL ASKINS!

need to seriously stop it or my child will sound like she was reared by joe exotic

(And just to all the Fionnualas out there yes I know it’s absolutely appalling my child hears such vulgar language I’ll refer myself to Tulsa in due course)"