Am I over reacting?

ger vallely · 23-05-2019 4:24pm #1

I am a homeowner( whenever the mortgage is finished!). The house next door was bought last year. A girl who works in a local restaurant, she let's out two rooms to friends. I was looking at Instagram and look and behold there is a photo on her mates public page taken in my back garden, right up by my back door, of a wall mural my daughter painted. The photo was taken months ago, late at night. I am fuming. I do not know the mate, he was in my garden, my private space, late at night, putting my private property up on his public social media page. I have intend speaking to her about this but trying to gauge if I am over reacting or not. I don't think I am. The boundaries of what is acceptable seems to be changing constantly due to social media, people convince themselves certain things are ok when they actually are not. This was my daughter's personal design, and not for strangers to decide to make it public. The relationship with these neighbours is not amazing, I would not be expecting to see them or their friend in my garden late at night if I looked out my bedroom window. Any thoughts?

Gumbo · 23-05-2019 4:29pm

They shouldn't be in your garden. Its trespassing. Full stop.
With regards to personal mural design, and all that, ignore that emotional side of things.

Focus on the trespassing onto your property.

ger vallely · 23-05-2019 4:32pm

Yeah, I agree with that. They are all adults and should not need to be educated on the fact that this was trespass. I am pretty sure if she opened her curtains at night and I was standing by her back door she would have something to say. I do not know this guy, he could be anyone, on my property without my permission.

SusieBlue · 23-05-2019 4:34pm

Just say to her that its come to your attention that her friends have been posting pictures trespassing on your garden on social media, that this is unacceptable and that you'll be keeping a closer eye, and any further breaches of privacy will result in the Gardaí being called.
Tell her you want the photo removed immediately.

Don't admit to or volunteer that you were looking on the friends social media account, I know its public and free for anyone to view but if she thinks you've been snooping to keep tabs on her she might think you're creepy, and you'll lose the moral high ground.
If she asks how you know or tries to deny it, give a vague answer about a friend seeing it and sending you a screenshot, and that you have proof.

anewme · 23-05-2019 4:37pm

Also, make sure you take a screen shot of it before it's removed, in case you need it again if issues escalate.

I'd be fuming OP and I would be assertive approaching her (I'm being nice here)

Suttree · 23-05-2019 4:37pm

Why were you on her friends Instagram?

....... · 23-05-2019 4:41pm

Suttree wrote: »

Why were you on her friends Instagram?

Irrelevant.

If an instagram account is public anyone could be looking at the content.

el Fenomeno · 23-05-2019 4:41pm

Suttree wrote: »

Why were you on her friends Instagram?

Completely irrelevant, I would imagine.

23-05-2019 4:42pm

Suttree wrote: »

Why were you on her friends Instagram?

Irrelevant. Someone tresspssed on her property. I wouldn't personally go to the gaurds but passing on a word of warning not to do it again wouldn't be over reacting.

listermint · 23-05-2019 4:42pm

Are you sure they were in your back garden. There are various phones now that can take an image like that from 500 meters away . Never mind 1 meter.

drunkmonkey · 23-05-2019 4:55pm

Say nothing they could go on a mad one and accuse you of anything. Tell the guards they were in there trying to find the knickers you stole off the line or something. Let it slide, do a privacy job on the back garden.

ger vallely · 23-05-2019 4:59pm

listermint wrote: »

Are you sure they were in your back garden. There are various phones now that can take an image like that from 500 meters away . Never mind 1 meter.

The angle the photo is taken from can only be taken from standing directly by my back door.

ger vallely · 23-05-2019 5:01pm

drunkmonkey wrote: »

Say nothing they could go on a mad one and accuse you of anything. Tell the guards they were in there trying to find the knickers you stole off the line or something. Let it slide, do a privacy job on the back garden.

I see where you are coming from but I disagree. I do have the screenshot, it is of a particular area in my garden, an art feature, if they were upset about knicker stealing or such they wouldn't have had a steady hand to take the picture.

ger vallely · 23-05-2019 5:03pm

anewme wrote: »

Also, make sure you take a screen shot of it before it's removed, in case you need it again if issues escalate.

I'd be fuming OP and I would be assertive approaching her (I'm being nice here)

I took the screenshot straight away. I do intend to approach her but just wanted feedback as to what others thought. Thank you!

SusieBlue · 23-05-2019 5:03pm

ger vallely wrote: »

I see where you are coming from but I disagree. I do have the screenshot, it is of a particular area in my garden, an art feature, if they were upset about knicker stealing or such they wouldn't have had a steady hand to take the picture.

You have nothing to fear, it isn't against the law to confront a neighbour about unacceptable.
Just be firm but measured, don't lose the plot at her but assert your position.

My guess is she'll sh*t herself and you won't be bothered by such antics again.

ger vallely · 23-05-2019 5:04pm

Suttree wrote: »

Why were you on her friends Instagram?

It's a public page, loosely connected to a local restaurant. Plus, that is irrelevant to their trespassing.

Dial Hard · 23-05-2019 5:04pm

ger vallely wrote: »

I see where you are coming from but I disagree. I do have the screenshot, it is of a particular area in my garden, an art feature, if they were upset about knicker stealing or such they wouldn't have had a steady hand to take the picture.

While I understand why you're annoyed (and probably would be too in the same position), the illogic of this statement is almost comical.

ger vallely · 23-05-2019 5:06pm

Dial Hard wrote: »

While I understand why you're annoyed (and probably would be too in the same position), the illogic of this statement is almost comical.

Ah come on- I was flippin joking!

drunkmonkey · 23-05-2019 5:16pm

It's only a picture of a wall mural. Leave it. Take the compliment as that's what taking the picture was.

afkasurfjunkie · 23-05-2019 5:18pm

Is the pic complementary of the artwork or is it taking the mick? Why not just leave a comment under it saying ‘gosh I don’t remember this photo being taken in my garden?’ Isn’t my daughter a wonderful artist!

....... · 23-05-2019 5:19pm

drunkmonkey wrote: »

It's only a picture of a wall mural. Leave it. Take the compliment as that's what taking the picture was.

Its the trespassing thats the issue, not the picture.

Presumably the OP would be just as pissed off if she looked out the kitchen and the neighbour was standing in the garden looking in the window at her.

I know I would.

SusieBlue · 23-05-2019 5:22pm

drunkmonkey wrote: »

It's only a picture of a wall mural. Leave it. Take the compliment as that's what taking the picture was.

The trespassing is the problem, they had no right to be on his property, let alone taking pictures to commemorate the fact.

It happened once, it could happen again. OP has a right to peacefully enjoy his home, the possibility of them creeping in the garden is interfering with that.
He needs to nip it in the bud now before they take any more liberties.

Taiga · 23-05-2019 5:31pm

I'm surprised at the posters saying leave it be tbh. Why should the op leave it be? I'd be freaked out if I saw someone had posted a pic on social media of them in my garden at night. Not the social media aspect, but the fact they were on my property, at night and then had the gumption to post a pic on social media. Doesn't matter how the op came across the pic, I wouldn't be explaining myself, they were the ones out of line here.

Don't lose your cool or fret too much op, but I'd definitely be having a word and taking no sh1t. They probably had a few too many and didn't think. Disrespectful fools.

Samuel T. Cogley · 23-05-2019 5:36pm

Hop over the fence one evening with a picnic and when challenged bring it up.

Taiga · 23-05-2019 5:41pm

Samuel T. Cogley wrote: »

Hop over the fence one evening with a picnic and when challenged bring it up.

This made me lol

ger vallely · 23-05-2019 5:44pm

drunkmonkey wrote: »

It's only a picture of a wall mural. Leave it. Take the compliment as that's what taking the picture was.

And to the others who feel I should take the compliment and just leave it- not a chance. They trespassed into my private property, at night. If they liked it that much they could've knocked at the front door, mentioned that they had seen it from their friends house and could they take the photo. If I had've been in the kitchen at the time and opened the blinds, seen a strange man standing in my garden I would've freaked, hit him with the hurl, rung the gards, set the bloody dog on him, who knows?

Wabbit Ears · 23-05-2019 5:49pm

To be honest I'd say it casually enough with an nitty at all subtle warning but I wouldn't be overly confrontational about it.

At the end if the day they did bad but it was very complementary to the kids artwork. If I showed a pic like that to my daughter she would be over the moon that someone loved her picture.

ger vallely · 23-05-2019 6:02pm

Wabbit Ears wrote: »

To be honest I'd say it casually enough with an nitty at all subtle warning but I wouldn't be overly confrontational about it.

At the end if the day they did bad but it was very complementary to the kids artwork. If I showed a pic like that to my daughter she would be over the moon that someone loved her picture.

I get what you are saying but my daughter is an adult, it's not a kids sketch. As previously pointed out, the fact of the art is secondary, it's the trespassing that is an issue that needs to be addressed and stopped.

CoffeeBean2 · 23-05-2019 6:35pm

SusieBlue wrote: »

The trespassing is the problem, they had no right to be on his property, let alone taking pictures to commemorate the fact..

From what I understand, and I'm no legal expert. It is only considered trespass if there is an intention to commit a crime. Otherwise the postman would be trespassing multiple times a day.

I've had a similar conversation with the Gardii before, and the response I got was that she (the Garda) would have no problem with a neighbor coming unannounced into her back garden.

My mistake was failing to ask that Garda to note it down in the system, as this conversation was completely forgotten down the road when I needed it.

CoffeeBean2 · 23-05-2019 6:37pm

SusieBlue wrote: »

You have nothing to fear, it isn't against the law to confront a neighbour about unacceptable.
Just be firm but measured, don't lose the plot at her but assert your position.

My guess is she'll sh*t herself and you won't be bothered by such antics again.

Oh and I would record the conversation and have a second party present, so things can not be lied about later.

Browney7 · 23-05-2019 6:37pm

Highly unlikely but picture could have been taken by a drone also

4ensic15 · 23-05-2019 7:45pm

Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive the trespasses of others. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

23-05-2019 7:50pm

Not worth the hassle. Forget about it.

anewme · 23-05-2019 7:53pm

I m also surprised about how ppl think OP should leave it. Im narky enough about stuff like this and id be livid.Johnny falls over your potplant and sudeendly you have a claim against you.

I would be fairly confrontational about it rather than faff about. Theres too many people who re not direct and then wonder why the message does not hit home.

Hi, im concerned to see a photo of my garden on your friend Johnnys instagram. This photo was cleary taken from inside my garden without my permission and i want it removed from the public domain immediately.

I also dont want anybody on my property without my permission, so please dont let this happen again.

I always find being direct leaves them with no where to go.

GarIT · 23-05-2019 7:54pm

4ensic15 wrote: »

Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive the trespasses of others. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

No thanks

SteM · 23-05-2019 7:55pm

CoffeeBean2 wrote: »

From what I understand, and I'm no legal expert. It is only considered trespass if there is an intention to commit a crime. Otherwise the postman would be trespassing multiple times a day.

There's a huge difference between a postman walking up the path to deliver post an someone coming into a back garden in the middle of the night imo.

anewme · 23-05-2019 7:56pm

4ensic15 wrote: »

Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive the trespasses of others. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

And for everything else, there's PIAB.

laotg · 23-05-2019 8:04pm

Definition of trespassing

Trespass on building, etc.
13.â€”(1) It shall be an offence for a person, without reasonable excuse, to trespass on any building or the curtilage thereof in such a manner as causes or is likely to cause fear in another person

Can't see a judge convicting. If it even got that far.

4ensic15 · 23-05-2019 8:15pm

laotg wrote: »

Definition of trespassing

Trespass on building, etc.
13.—(1) It shall be an offence for a person, without reasonable excuse, to trespass on any building or the curtilage thereof in such a manner as causes or is likely to cause fear in another person

Can't see a judge convicting. If it even got that far.

That's criminal trespass. There is a civil wrong of trespass which is actionable without proof of damage.

Beheretomorrow · 23-05-2019 8:43pm

"The relationship with these neighbours is not amazing"

This matters greatly. Why is this and did they do this on purpose to annoy you due to previous interaction?

CoffeeBean2 · 23-05-2019 8:52pm

SteM wrote: »

There's a huge difference between a postman walking up the path to deliver post an someone coming into a back garden in the middle of the night imo.

Which is why it comes down to intent. If the reason is to commit a crime, it's trespass. If the reason is to get a ball, or something else that blew over the wall, that's not the same.

I had the Guards out because the next door builder jumped my back wall into my garden without my permission for better access to their own property. The builder and Garda chatting in my back lawn, and then I was told nothing could be done as the builder didn't intend harm, or to commit a crime.

laotg · 23-05-2019 9:28pm

4ensic15 wrote:

That's criminal trespass. There is a civil wrong of trespass which is actionable without proof of damage.

Every day is a school day. How is it actionable?

ger vallely · 23-05-2019 9:29pm

Beheretomorrow wrote: »

"The relationship with these neighbours is not amazing"

This matters greatly. Why is this and did they do this on purpose to annoy you due to previous interaction?

They come home late from work and party as if it were the middle of the day. This happens a couple of nights per week. They stand outside their back door to smoke, this is only a couple if feet away from my bedroom window, they smoke outside in chatty groups, making no attempt to keep the noise to a minimum. I have tried to talk to one of the tenants, he was obnoxious and rude. Waiting for the home owner to call yo me as arranged, though the previous time I spoke to her( politely and calmly) about a very loud disturbance until 4am on a Thursday morning, she weakly pretended she knew nothing about it. So that's what I mean about not having a perfect neighbourly relationship.

4ensic15 · 23-05-2019 9:59pm

laotg wrote: »

Every day is a school day. How is it actionable?

Because trespass is a tort.

JJJackal · 24-05-2019 10:50am

ger vallely wrote: »

I am a homeowner( whenever the mortgage is finished!). The house next door was bought last year. A girl who works in a local restaurant, she let's out two rooms to friends. I was looking at Instagram and look and behold there is a photo on her mates public page taken in my back garden, right up by my back door, of a wall mural my daughter painted. The photo was taken months ago, late at night. I am fuming. I do not know the mate, he was in my garden, my private space, late at night, putting my private property up on his public social media page. I have intend speaking to her about this but trying to gauge if I am over reacting or not. I don't think I am. The boundaries of what is acceptable seems to be changing constantly due to social media, people convince themselves certain things are ok when they actually are not. This was my daughter's personal design, and not for strangers to decide to make it public. The relationship with these neighbours is not amazing, I would not be expecting to see them or their friend in my garden late at night if I looked out my bedroom window. Any thoughts?

I think your not overreacting - but is it worth the hassle?

Farawayhome · 24-05-2019 11:08am

I thought it was a child's painting, turns out it's an adults. The more detail that has been revealed, the clearer the issue. The op thinks the neighbours are too noisy, the neighbours think the op is a moaning fuddy duddy. Searching the neighbours' social media and peering out behind the blinds kind of confirms this part to be true. You need to come to an amicable conclusion op. Confronting the neighbour with this won't help.

mel123 · 24-05-2019 11:38am

Where I agree that they should not trespass on your property, it amazes me that you think home owners cant stand at their own door and smoke and chat, and you have a right to complain about it!

anewme · 24-05-2019 11:51am

mel123 wrote: »

Where I agree that they should not trespass on your property, it amazes me that you think home owners cant stand at their own door and smoke and chat, and you have a right to complain about it!

When they coming home from work at all hours are smoking and chatting at 4am in the morning disturbing people's sleep, I'd complain myself.

mel123 · 24-05-2019 12:19pm

anewme wrote: »

When they coming home from work at all hours are smoking and chatting at 4am in the morning disturbing people's sleep, I'd complain myself.

Maybe i took it up wrong, but OP didnt say they did this at 4am. I know OP said disturbances at 4am alright, but i took it chatting at smoking was in general, not 4am (which to clarify i dont agree with it).

bucketybuck · 24-05-2019 12:34pm

I think the OP is overreacting, and would be better to pick their battles.

Somebody hopped over the fence and took a picture. That is all that happened, and as such there aren't going to be any consequences, you can make complaints but nobody is going to get arrested or charged and nobody is going to give a toss about it in the long run. You might get an insincere apology but nobody is really going to give a ****, you will just be the moany neighbour, creepily snooping on Instagram and whinging again.

So you will have further antagonised your neighbours for no benefit. And to what end? I get that there is history there and you would like them to stop disturbing the peace, but is this really the best way to go about it?

Make formal complaints about the noise, address those issues, don't waste your energy focusing on a minor issue that isn't going to help you one iota in the long run.

bilbot79 · 24-05-2019 12:38pm

Maybe a bit of an overreaction to be honest. If it was happening all the time you should say to them but I think you should leave this one.

Eejits putting it up on Instagram

Am I over reacting?

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